Chapter 38
Chapter 38
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: Pajama Party (3)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Because of you.
When those words reached my ears, my heart sank.
"Or so you thought I'd say?"
Lea flashed me a playful smile.
"Isn't that right?"
"Of course not. There's no way one person's life suddenly flips upside down because of someone else, right?"
There is, though.
Two of them are sitting right next to us.
"The reason I quit the sword? Nothing special. I just... hit a wall."
Lea took a sip of the fizzy fruit juice I'd given her.
"Arthur."
"Yes."
"What value does life even have?"
"...That's a truly daunting question."
"Right? Just like the one you suddenly threw at me."
That was fair.
"For me, I couldn't find that value in the sword. That's all there is to it."
"So you've lost your motivation?"
"Yeah."
Lea shrugged her shoulders.
"How should one live to live well... And how do I want to live... I don't know either."
How does one live a proper life?
What dreams should one chase, what should one pursue?
Without knowing the answers, nothing sparks any drive.
It wasn't unfamiliar to me.
Before being kidnapped into this world, I hadn't had any particular dreams either, so I'd been in a similar spot.
Lea leaned back on the sofa and looked into my eyes.
"Arthur."
A candle flame flickered in her slightly drowsy gaze.
"How do you want to live?"
"...I've never really thought about it."
I'd been too busy agonizing over how to survive to ponder how I wanted to live.
How could I avert the doom scheduled for this world?
Visions of this world's end flashed before my eyes.
Apostles of the Outer Gods pouring endlessly like mold that sprouts no matter how much you kill.
In the end, mages and knights mobilized for extreme quarantine measures, massacring entire regions. And among them, those losing their humanity.
Our world gradually subjected to alien laws.
Physics, dimensions, ecosystems, souls, and mana twisting out of shape.
From pregnant women's wombs: first deformed babies, then monsters blending human and reptile, later the very color of outer space itself.
The universe's fundamental forces warping arbitrarily—a nearby person suddenly melting at the atomic level, becoming a gelatinous floating mass yearning for the peace of death.
Those who once condemned the emperor's horrific massacres eventually envying and resenting the slain.
Food vanishing, despair swelling, myriad magic tomes sown by Outer Gods luring desperate souls into hells of hundreds of thousands of hues.
The last survivors flocking to Heavenly God Church temples. Heteromorphs devouring them space and all.
Finally, the Outer Gods descending directly into our universe.
All light and darkness of this world falling into their grasp... and then the protagonist left alone, the Black Saintess Cynthia, letting out a scream of despair.
I—
That scene—
"Arthur?"
Lea's voice.
I blinked. My mind had wandered for a moment.
"Sorry. Must be a bit tired."
Yeah.
A little tired, apparently.
Since reincarnating into this world, my life had been ruled by the survival instinct.
Or rather, I'd been constantly tormented by the pain of survival, the stress of it—from the days when I couldn't even hold my head up as a baby.
"If you're tired..."
Lea started to say something but trailed off hesitantly.
A hand tugged at me from the side. It was Cynthia.
"Teacher, if you're tired, want to catch a quick nap?"
"...Shall I?"
No reason not to.
I'd taught them all the card games, restocked the snacks and drinks. A short break wouldn't cause issues.
"Then..."
This time, Cynthia fidgeted and patted her own thigh.
"No pillow, so—"
"It's fine. I can sleep just about anywhere."
I really could. I'd dozed off in all sorts of places.
I crossed my arms and closed my eyes.
For some reason, I felt like Cynthia had given me a strange look in that final moment.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Cynthia stared at Arthur's face, which had fallen instantly asleep, with a sullen expression.
'What a weird guy.'
At first, she'd thought he was just some eccentric.
But after he dispatched her debt collectors in one fell swoop, and seeing the various non-incidents he stirred up afterward, Cynthia had come to find him increasingly reliable.
Now, she felt like Arthur could calmly handle any problem in the world.
If she were a god tasked with saving the world's fate, she'd entrust that heavy duty to him.
But.
Arthur had this uneasy side, like he could crumble at any moment without it being strange.
She hadn't noticed at first.
But it had grown clearer over time.
Like watching someone overexerting themselves without even realizing it.
Which only made it harder to look away.
And before she knew it... she was tracking Arthur with her eyes all day long.
From waking in the morning to falling asleep at night.
And then.
She dared to wish.
What if she could be with him even from sleep at night to waking in the morning?
A sweet heat spread in her chest.
But.
The image of the archer who had saved her in the past surfaced, and her chest stung.
'...I'm such an idiot.'
A harsh curse uncharacteristic of her.
Still hung up on the person who saved her as a child, hesitating even now.
Her hometown friends had all found men and gotten married by now, while she felt incredibly frustrated with herself for coming to the city and wasting away like this.
She knew better than anyone that she couldn't keep this up forever.
Unless she tracked down that archer and married him, she needed to let those childhood feelings stay as memories and seek a partner.
"Haa..."
What if, by some miracle, the teacher turned out to be that archer?
How wonderful that would be.
If so, she would...
'I would...'
She herself didn't know what she might do.
Desires long suppressed, desires without direction, erupting toward one man after all this time.
"Cynthia? Your turn?"
"Ah... Yes."
She'd been lost in thought for a moment, but Thief Catcher was fun even for her.
A city pleasure different from running around mountains and rivers with friends back in the countryside.
Lea asked.
"You said you came from the countryside, right, Cynthia?"
"Ah, yes."
"Any reason? A trigger?"
"Uh..."
She started to tell the truth, but didn't want to with the current Lea.
"Just a whim."
Because Cynthia had noticed.
That Lea had just lied to Arthur.
"...I see."
Lea just gave a small smile.
As if she'd noticed Cynthia wasn't opening up, and even why, but would let it slide.
Tiona looked puzzled.
"What are you two talking about?"
"You should observe the people around you more, Tiona."
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I said."
"?"
Tiona tilted her head, and her vertical rolls swayed.
"Anyway, Miss Lea, your turn?"
"..."
"Miss Lea?"
Lea silently pressed a finger to her lips.
This wasn't a joking matter.
Everyone held their breath.
Then they heard it too.
Someone approaching the mansion from the courtyard.
"..."
Lea stood without a sound and signaled with her eyes and gestures.
Keep making noise so they don't realize we've spotted them from over there.
"T-Tiona, how long do you plan to keep those vertical rolls?"
"Cynthia!? What kind of sudden nonsense is that!?"
Cynthia signaled back with glances and gestures.
- Not serious, just make some noise!
Tiona replied the same way.
- R-Right? You're not serious?
"Honestly, vertical rolls at your age feel a bit childish..."
"Isn't that too harsh!? Ugh, typical commoner... Anyway, you not getting the charm of this hairstyle is the weird part!"
"No, honestly, even I think vertical rolls are..."
"Diana!?"
This time, communication passed between Tiona and Diana the same way.
- Y-You're not serious, right? No way?
- ...
- Diana!?
"That style was popular ages ago."
"What are you talking about? It's the heroine's hairstyle from Elrixford Chronicle!"
"Well, that's a period drama, so..."
Thanks to the commotion from the three, Lea could move more freely.
Lea grabbed a kitchen knife from the kitchen.
A bluish aura rose along the blade.