Chapter 27
Chapter 27
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 27
Chapter Title: Resting Blue Maiden (2)
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In a word, the original Dian was a mysterious sub-male lead steeped in enigma.
He kept no one close, spoke rarely, and only tossed out the occasional curt remark.
But he had a handsome face.
In the romance fantasy genre, where readers preferred pretty boys over rugged heroes, Dian's delicate features were especially popular.
Sure, there were occasional murmurs among readers that even for a beautiful youth, his face was a bit too pretty—but it never drew much real attention.
Far more tantalizing was the juicy bait of a love triangle between Cynthia, Dian, and Lea, the core trio of the protagonist's party.
Of course, as the story veered into bleak despair drift, even that became a distant "Who cares about that right now???"
"Sorry for causing a scene in front of your workshop. Bishop Melti Luther sent me—could you give us a tour?"
"Bishop Melti Luther...?"
Dian froze.
"You came to see what I've been researching lately?"
His voice was higher-pitched than expected, a clear tenor.
"That's exactly it."
Dian's eyes flicked over Tiona and Lea.
"Them too?"
"If you're referring to Lady Tiona here, then yes, you knew that already."
"Hewwo!"
Tiona, still hiding behind me, peeked out just enough to wave hello.
"As for Miss Lea here, no idea."
"Huh? You don't know? What's this alchemist been researching lately?"
"It's..."
I spoke up in Dian's hesitant place.
It seemed like a topic too embarrassing for him to say aloud himself.
"Fake breasts."
"...Huh? Fake breasts?"
"Yes. More precisely, a special material that's perfect for making fake breasts. And this alchemist is the master—no, the sole pioneer—of that research—"
"Who the hell wants to be remembered as the inventor of model tits!?"
Dian shrieked.
This was weird. Why was he getting mad?
"...Wasn't that it?"
"Of course not!"
I'd assumed he was researching it to make a name for himself in that field. Alchemists were usually the type.
"I never even published anything—I was just fiddling around with a new material on my own, and the bishop must've heard rumors somewhere and come running!"
"Yeah, that sounds like her..."
But still.
"...If you weren't that interested, why were you messing with the material at all? You even had prototypes."
The silicone lump Melti had let me touch wasn't just some compound sample—it was shaped like a breast, complete with that telltale teardrop form.
It screamed intent from the start.
"That's..."
Dian trailed off.
"For personal use!"
"Personal use...? What personal use would a guy have for a breast model—"
That's when it hit me.
A man making fake breasts for "personal use."
The exact purpose was obvious.
"...Whew."
Lea let out a slow whistle, clearly on the same page.
"...!?"
Dian's face turned beet red as he realized what we meant.
No wonder he looked so girlish.
"It's not—"
"It's fine, Dian. People make whatever for their private needs—it's their business, right?"
Admittedly, it was a tad too intimate for someone I'd just met, let alone a non-friend.
"That's why I—"
"A female alchemist I know tried making tentacle creatures for 'personal purposes' and got disciplined for bioethics violations."
"What...?"
"What...?"
"If that's acceptable, then just kneading soft, jiggly new materials for fun is downright tame—"
"You're doing it on purpose too, aren't you!?"
Dian snapped at me.
Meeting him in person, he was short for a guy and lacked any muscle—not intimidating at all—but I still felt wronged.
And it was surprising.
I'd figured the mysterious sub-lead vibe was gone, but the Levus family was a prestigious noble house, and his speech was awfully rough for it.
Like a kid who thought swearing made him manly. Watching him triggered my secondhand embarrassment meter hard.
"How would a female alchemist even use tentacle creatures for personal purposes?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
Lea and Dian both stared at me, begging me to smooth things over.
"I'll explain later."
"...What the heck is going on here?"
"Pardon?"
"Arthur not explaining to me? That's weird! He usually won't shut up even if I say I don't wanna hear it!"
"...No choice. Cover your ears."
"Are you insane!? What are you even trying to explain!?"
"Our lady's a bit slow on the uptake, but she knows everything she needs to."
"Arthur? You've been way more blunt lately, haven't you?"
"Oops."
Dian pressed his temples and shot Lea a pleading look.
"No, uh... is he always like this?"
"Beats me. Only my second time seeing him today."
Lea shrugged, adding,
"But hanging out with him won't be boring, that's for sure."
"..."
Dian backed toward the workshop door, grabbing the handle like he wanted nothing to do with any of us.
"Well, see you—"
"Wait, hold on."
This sudden distance was a problem.
"I told you, Bishop Melti Luther sent me. Can't you at least show us around the workshop?"
"..."
My real goal wasn't figuring out why Dian was obsessed with fake breast research.
I was interested, sure, but the priority was elsewhere.
Confirming if he still had any talent as a proper mage—or if he'd ever learned at all.
Whether a little nudge could awaken him as the White Mage, or if I'd have to raise him from scratch.
It was the exact same check for Lea the freeloader, minus the magic part being swordsmanship instead.
...This is maddening.
A wave of despair hit me.
I'd thought fixing just Tiona was the plan.
Bust my ass for a year, ship her off to the Academy, and done. Spend the rest of my life in early retirement bliss.
But Cynthia, Lea, Dian... the original protagonist trio was in even worse shape. Maybe worse than Tiona.
"Ugh... fine, come in. Fair warning, it's a mess inside—haven't cleaned."
Dian grumbled reluctantly.
"Thank you. Let's go, milady."
The workshop interior was indeed as cluttered as he'd said, but at least there were no rotting food scraps or anything that gross.
People like that exist? Yeah, they do. Women who can't tidy up are often the worst offenders.
Alright, time to gauge his skills...
As I scanned the items to judge his mage prowess, my eyes caught women's underwear and sanitary pads in one corner.
The panties weren't too weird. A pervert crafting fake boobs might have those too—as long as he didn't steal them.
But pads?
Thinking I'd misseen, I waded through the trash and picked one up.
"Ack!?"
Dian yelled, but too late.
Every oddity flickering through my mind snapped into a single puzzle.
"...A crossdressing woman?"
"Give those back, you psycho!!!"
Dian snatched the underwear and pad from my hand.
"Sorry."
Lea yawned.
"What, you just figured it out? Thought a teacher like you would've noticed sooner."
"Why am I Miss Lea's teacher, and what do you mean I'd notice faster?"
"No better word for you, and teachers have sharp eyes—I figured you'd spot the off vibes in that kid's build."
"..."
Now that she mentioned it, yeah. Shoulders, hands, hips—all screamed it.
Original image was too strong; blinded me to it.
"...Hah."
Dian—or Diana—sighed in resignation and shut the door, locking it.
"Fine. I've been disguising myself as a man for personal reasons. Real name's Diana."
She hung her head.
"Please, you can't let this get out."
"I won't breathe a word."
Messing with the original protagonist crew gained me nothing.
Lea nodded too.
"Not into blabbing other people's secrets."
Tiona, though...
"...Huh? Not a guy...? B-But...?"
She couldn't even process keeping the secret. Guy? Girl? Male? Female?
"...I'll take her aside later and make sure she zips it."
"...Thanks."
One thing about the crossdressing nagged me, though.
"How do you hide your chest?"
I knew techniques existed—binding bandages were classic.
But still, those were awfully...
"I don't."
"...Ah."
"No need."
"Sorry."
Just as Diana started trembling with rage, glaring daggers at me...
"Eek!? Th-That's not okay! Diana'll end up flat-chested forever!"
"?"
"??"
"???"
That's when it happened.
Footsteps suddenly swarmed outside the workshop, and someone rattled the door handle.
"Dian!!! You ignored the eviction notice, so we're forcing you out!!"