Chapter 2
Chapter 2
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: Hothead Lady's Home Tutor (2)
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Pushing open the door, the sight I'd expected to see was Tiona rolling around on her bed.
But Tiona was sitting on top of the bed.
"…?"
And a beat later, I realized the bed was soaked.
"Ah."
"I'll kill you!!!"
Tiona grabbed the mug beside the bed and hurled it at me. What a shame it would be to break such a nice item, so I caught it midair.
"My apologies, Young Lady. This one's on me."
"Get out!! Die!!!"
"I'll send a maid right over."
"Die!!!"
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◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "…."
"…Young Lady."
"Hmph!"
Our Young Lady seemed to be in a very foul mood.
Honestly, I'd messed up today.
I hadn't expected someone her age to wet the bed in the middle of the night, but with our hotheaded little lady, I should've anticipated that level of extraordinary behavior.
Conveniently, it was Saturday today.
A day when we could take it a bit easy.
"Young Lady, as an apology, I'll make whatever dish you like for lunch."
"!"
Our Young Lady was so easy to read—it was great.
"Pancakes too…?"
"Of course."
"With maple syrup and butter and whipped cream on top!"
"Of course. Shall I do that?"
Tiona's head bobbed up and down. Her villainess signature roll-bun hairstyle bounced along with it.
Even after that morning fiasco, she hadn't skimped on rolling her hair. If only she'd show that diligence in other areas.
"Then that's what I'll prepare for lunch."
Perfect.
Soft pancakes would make the ideal teaching tool for today's lesson with our Young Lady.
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"Serbis, hurry up and bring it!!"
Drool dribbling from her mouth, she pounded the table with her fist—then winced and rubbed her hand, having hit too hard.
"Ow ow…."
A wave of pity welled up from deep in my chest.
"Poor thing, our Young Lady… Your flesh is so frail…."
"Did you just insult me?"
"Of course not, Young Lady."
"…Huh? No? Not no…?"
Double negatives seemed a bit too advanced for our Young Lady. Could she even handle logic lessons like this? It was a shame for her teacher… Oh, wait, that's me.
"Here are the pancakes. Just as you wanted, topped with the finest maple syrup, butter, and whipped cream."
For the record, I could've added fruit, but our Young Lady preferred piling on more whipped cream instead.
Tiona's eyes sparkled, drool trickling from her mouth.
"Whoaaa!"
"Wait!"
I shoved a fork and knife into the hand of our Young Lady, who was about to grab the pancake with her bare fingers.
"Please use the utensils."
"…Eh?"
Tiona scrunched up her face.
"No way! That's such a hassle!"
"…If I may ask one thing, Young Lady—don't you use utensils for cooked meats or soups?"
"Well, you can't eat hot food with your bare hands! Do you think I'm an idiot or something!?"
"I don't think you're an idiot. Just hotheaded."
"That's obvious… Huh?"
"But, Young Lady."
Teaching rhythm form one: convince her this is better.
"If you eat pancakes like this with your hands, they'll get all over them, and then everything around you gets sticky too. Isn't that dirty?"
"Just wipe it off!"
"And you wipe it on your clothes or the bed with no handkerchief in sight! The whole house ends up sticky!"
Teaching rhythm form two: convince her this is worse.
"A girl who eats with her hands won't even be able to get married."
"Hmph! If a guy stops loving me just because I eat with my hands, it wasn't true love anyway!"
Was this a romance fantasy or a fairy tale world?
"And you eat bread with your hands, so why not pancakes? They're both flour foods!"
"You take care not to get jam or cream on your hands with bread! But grab a syrup-soaked pancake, and it'll definitely get all over!"
"So what if it's sticky!?"
"Conversely, Young Lady—would you want to watch a man shoveling food into his mouth with syrup and cream smeared on his hands?"
"Hmm…."
Tiona's eyebrows drew together.
"That'd be… kinda gross."
"…."
Strange.
It was truly a good thing that our Young Lady had normal sensibilities.
If she'd said, "Actually, it's wild and hot!" right then, words would've lost all meaning, and while I really didn't want to resort to violence, I might've had no choice but to smack some manners into her.
It really was a good thing—definitely good— so why was I so pissed off?
"Right? Just like you hate seeing others eat messily with their hands, others will hate seeing you do it too."
"…!!"
Enlightenment achieved.
A little—okay, a lot—late, but still.
"Got it? From now on, use a fork and knife for anything messy."
"Ugh… such a hassle…."
Tiona grumbled as she picked up the fork and knife.
"Can't I just eat normally at home?"
"You have to practice. Bad habits don't fix themselves overnight."
"I know how to use them, you know?"
"You know how, but your manners are way too rough."
To demonstrate, I speared a pancake from my plate with the fork and sliced it with the knife.
First one normally, then the second…
"This is how you do it, right, Young Lady?"
I stabbed the fork in hard!
Sliced wildly with the knife, syrup be damned!
Shoved it in my mouth!
Syrup splattered everywhere, of course, smearing around my mouth too.
Our Young Lady's face twisted in disgust.
"Ewww… so gross…."
"Should I kill him, Master?"
"What'd you say?"
"Just saying life's tough. Anyway, eat up now. I won't ask for ladylike, just neat."
"Hmph! You think I, Tiona Mercifius Beckerpionte Krishantimaiu, can't handle it!?"
Somehow, she remembered her full name with that brain of hers. Impressive.
Anyway, grumbling all the while, our Young Lady started eating her pancakes with fork and knife.
"Sigh… Jis, I don't like you, but your cooking is seriously good."
"I'm so honored my fists are weeping."
"Siris, fists don't sweat—ow."
The knife slipped and nicked Tiona's left hand.
It was just a dinner knife, but getting jabbed by metal hurts.
"Ow ow…."
"…Let me see your hand."
Hotheaded or not, she was still a duke's daughter, so Tiona's hands were pale and slender.
I pressed the tip where it'd pricked—no blood.
"Lucky you. No real injury. Keep—"
I glanced sideways and locked eyes with our Young Lady, who was grabbing a syrup-drenched pancake with her other hand and stuffing it in her mouth.
"…."
"…*munch munch*."
"…."
"…*gulp, slurp*."
"Ah!! You!!! Idiot!!!"
Aargh!
Aargh, you hotheaded brat!!
"You just ranted about how gross it was, and now this!?"
"I-I couldn't help it! It's your fault for making such delicious pancakes, Jisir!"
"No more pancakes on the menu from now—"
"Have you no heart!? No! I can't live without them anymore!! Take responsibility!!"
"Your wording! Straighten up! ……………Haaaaaaa."
The sigh dragged on so long my lungs shriveled.
I'm going insane.
At this rate, duke or outer god invasion—stress-induced hypertension might kill me first.
"If you hate forks and knives that much, why not learn telekinesis magic?"
It was sarcasm.
This lady was destined to become a witch later, but my job was just to get her into the academy for that.
Magic itself could be learned there, so it wasn't in my curriculum.
But.
"Huh? That's an idea! Great!"
"…Pardon?"
"I said great!"
"…I've been wondering for a while now—why do you tack 'wayo' onto everything?"
By "a while," I meant before reincarnating into this world. Why did villainesses insist on that weird -(sa)wayo speech?
Tiona puffed out her chest.
"Doesn't it sound beautiful?"
"…Pardon?"
"Like a refined lady!"
Ah, just personal taste?
"Well, 'goodwayo' doesn't sound beautiful. At least say 'goodsawayo'."
"Gasp!"
She didn't even use it right herself, which was the funny part, but if it was just taste, I'd let her do it at home.
"But you still need to learn proper honorifics. You can't use -wayo even if you meet His Imperial Majesty."
"Gasp…!"
Guess I'd need to make a speech workbook too.
And.
"Once you're done eating, shall we try learning some magic?"