Chapter 665: You Can Cry All You Want
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 665: You Can Cry All You Want
"....You are utter trash."
Neung So-hwa spoke in a voice as cold as ice. Her tone was like the bitter cold northern wind.
"Trash."
Yorang, standing beside her, followed suit and spat out the insult. Even from her perspective as a spiritual being, he seemed like undeniable trash.
"Truly.... Have you really not contacted her even once? Bukgung Yeon has likely already given birth and is nursing the child."
"..........Well... you see...... I’ve been... busy lately..... and the couriers... don't reach as far as the North Sea..."
"Those are all excuses. Why wouldn't a courier reach there? Do you have any idea how many merchant guilds travel to the North Sea? You simply forgot. You forgot both Bukgung Yeon, who carried your child, and the child itself."
Neung So-hwa continued in a voice that couldn't be any colder.
"............"
Hearing her words, Sun-woo kept his mouth shut. Every single word she said was so painfully accurate that he couldn't even attempt a rebuttal.
"And didn't you make a promise before you left? That you would return within half a year? Did you keep that promise?"
"..........That... I was suddenly summoned..."
Sun-woo squeezed out a pathetic excuse. It was true that he hadn't kept his promise to return within six months. But he had his reasons.
At the time, Lee Jae-won had summoned the rising stars who were to participate in the succession contest, and he had no choice but to be dragged along. If he had refused the proposal, he might have fallen out of favor.
"Even so, could you not have at least sent a letter? Bukgung Yeon must have spent every day waiting for your return."
Neung So-hwa glared at Sun-woo with a stinging gaze. Though she and Bukgung Yeon usually fought like cats and dogs, seeing Sun-woo’s indifferent behavior made her feel sympathetic toward her rival. As a woman herself, a surge of uncontrollable anger rose within her. How could anyone be this thoughtless?
"............."
Sun-woo remained silent. He had nothing to say in his defense.
"....While you were out adding more wives and seducing women, Bukgung Yeon spent every day waiting for you while pregnant with your child. She believed in your promise to return within half a year and your promise to hold the child yourself. And yet, what is this? It has already been over ten months since you left the North Sea. To think you haven't even sent a single letter! How can you be so heartless? Reflect on your actions!"
Neung So-hwa raised her voice, shouting in agitation. It was a complete departure from her usual calm demeanor.
".............."
Sun-woo’s expression slumped. A sense of self-loathing, the feeling that he really was trash, washed over him.
"What should I do...... I feel so sorry to Yeon-ah...... and so sorry... to my child.."
Sun-woo spoke in a dejected voice. Neung So-hwa’s scolding had made him fully realize his own faults. She was the lovely woman who had conceived his child. The child was his own lovely clone, his own bloodline brought into the world. And yet, he hadn't shown them even the slightest bit of consideration.
He hadn't asked if she was doing well.
If she was okay.
If things were difficult for her.
He hadn't asked a single thing.
I’m trash...
Depression and self-loathing began to surge wildly within him. He had promised to cherish and love her, yet he couldn't even keep a simple promise like that.
"Sun-woo."
Neung So-hwa called out to Sun-woo, who was standing there with a dejected look.
"......Yeah."
Sun-woo answered, his voice trailing off.
"If I were in the same situation, I would have been incredibly hurt and disappointed."
"....Yeah."
"And Bukgung Yeon surely feels the same way."
"..Yeah."
"Do you understand that this was your fault?"
".....Yeah."
"Then do you also know what you must do now?"
Neung So-hwa spoke in a calm tone.
".....Yeah."
Hearing her words, Sun-woo nodded. He immediately stood up from his seat to do what needed to be done.
Stomp, stomp.
Sun-woo walked straight toward the door.
Creeeak.
He opened the door and walked out immediately, without even looking back.
"Sun-woo, where are you going?"
Watching this, Yorang turned to Neung So-hwa with a curious expression.
"He has simply gone to do what he must."
"What he must?"
"Yes. The best he can do right now."
Neung So-hwa replied calmly. Yorang tilted her head, wondering what exactly the "best" Sun-woo could do was.
Scratch, scratch.
Sitting in his office, Sun-woo moved his brush across the rice paper over and over again.
Crump.
Soon, he crumpled the rice paper into a ball and threw it onto the floor. He didn't like what he had written.
Scratch, scratch.
Sun-woo began to write again. He worked tirelessly, trying to produce a letter that felt right.
"Sigh...."
But no matter how much he thought or wrote, the right words wouldn't come. From Bukgung Yeon’s perspective, he was a sinner who deserved to be fried alive. He hadn't been by her side during her pregnancy or the birth. He had simply abandoned her. In the modern world, this was a horrific act that would undoubtedly be grounds for divorce.
Scratch, scratch.
Sun-woo wrote again and again, searching for the perfect sentence.
"This isn't it!"
Rip, rip.
But soon, Sun-woo tore the rice paper apart. No matter how much he wrote, he couldn't find the right words. His guilt toward Bukgung Yeon simply couldn't be expressed in sentences.
"......You piece of trash."
Sun-woo looked at the torn paper with a gloomy expression. He felt so pathetic. He had lived happily, completely forgetting the woman he loved. He felt like scum. He felt so much like trash that he wanted to beat up his past self. He had always criticized Lee Jae-won for being trash, but looking at himself now, he didn't seem much different.
Neglecting one's wife was the same, whether it was him or Lee Jae-won. No, he might actually be worse. At the very least, Lee Jae-won would have stayed by his wife's side when she gave birth to his child.
"Haaaaaa....."
Sun-woo let out a deep sigh. The knot of emotion in his chest refused to unravel. It was while he was sighing in the depths of his depression that it happened.
Knock, knock, knock.
Suddenly, someone began to knock on the door.
"......Who is it?"
Sun-woo asked in a weak voice.
"It is I, husband."
A familiar voice drifted in from outside.
.....What is she doing here?
Sun-woo tilted his head, puzzled by the sudden visit.
"Come in."
Sun-woo granted her permission.
Creeeeeak.
The moment he gave his permission, the door began to open. From behind it, a noble lady exuding natural dignity revealed herself.
Her hair was held in place by a jade hairpin made of green jade. Her beautiful eyes were filled with benevolence. Her snow-white skin was free of any blemishes or wrinkles. Despite the passing years, the bridge of her nose remained sharp, and her red lips held a mysterious allure. She was a woman with a beautiful, well-defined figure, like a piece of fine porcelain.
It was Madam Un Ga-ryeo.
"I greet my husband."
Entering the office, Un Ga-ryeo bowed her head politely in greeting.
"You're here?"
Sun-woo forced a smile to welcome her. Even though he wasn't in a good mood, he didn't want to show it in front of his lovely wife.
"Husband, has something happened?"
Un Ga-ryeo asked with a worried expression.
"Huh? Something happened? Nothing happened at all."
Sun-woo feigned ignorance. He didn't want to worry her unnecessarily.
"How can you say nothing happened..... when you look like you're about to cry?"
Un Ga-ryeo spoke, her voice dripping with concern.
"....Cry?......Me?"
Sun-woo asked back, looking flustered. He looked like he was about to cry? Sun-woo hurriedly raised his hand to touch the corners of his mouth. They were turned upward. Then he touched his eyes. They were curved like half-moons. He was smiling perfectly. So what did she mean, he was about to cry?
"Husband........ what is the matter?"
".....No.. nothing.... happened.."
Sun-woo tried his best to deny it, thinking she was surely just testing him.
Step, step.
Un Ga-ryeo slowly walked toward Sun-woo.
Stop.
She stopped right in front of him and stared straight into his eyes.
"Husband, please look into my eyes and tell me."
".......I am looking."
"You keep avoiding them..... Please, look at me properly."
".....Alright.."
Sun-woo slowly raised his gaze to meet hers. Un Ga-ryeo’s steady, beautiful eyes filled his vision.
"Did really nothing happen?"
Un Ga-ryeo asked, searching his eyes for the truth.
"....Nothing... happened."
Sun-woo maintained his composure and spoke without looking away.
"Liar."
The word came out of her mouth with firm conviction.
"It's... not a lie."
"Your eyes are trembling incessantly right now. How can you say it's not a lie?"
She questioned him in return.
"....Really... it's nothing.."
"Husband."
Un Ga-ryeo cut him off. She knew he would only continue to deny it.
"Please tell me."
She gazed at him with benevolent eyes.
"No matter what you say, I am on your side."
She gave him a soft smile.
".............."
Facing that smile, Sun-woo’s eyes began to well with tears. He felt a vast benevolence that seemed capable of embracing anything.
"Actually..........."
Perhaps he had fallen for that gaze. Sun-woo began to explain everything that had happened. The story of Bukgung Yeon, who was pregnant with his child. The promises he had made to her before leaving the North Sea. His failure to keep those promises. How he had been lost in wine and women and completely forgotten her. He listed every event in order. He also confessed all the emotions he was feeling—how pathetic and like trash he felt, and how sorry he was to her.
Un Ga-ryeo listened to Sun-woo’s story with a calm expression. She didn't say a word until he was completely finished.
"......That’s what happened."
Having finished his story, Sun-woo looked at Un Ga-ryeo with a face on the verge of tears. Putting it into words had made his emotions overflow even more.
"Husband."
Un Ga-ryeo called his name calmly.
"........Yeah."
Sun-woo answered with a sorrowful expression.
Whoosh.
Suddenly, Un Ga-ryeo opened her arms and pulled Sun-woo into an embrace.
Squeeze.
She held him tight, as if she would never let go.
".......!"
Being suddenly hugged, Sun-woo felt his emotions surging. Her warm embrace broke down the tension in his heart.
I... I can't cry..... I shouldn't.. cry..
Sun-woo tried his best to pull himself together. He felt like he would burst into tears at any moment.
"Wh... why so... suddenly."
Sun-woo tried to act casual, but his voice was thick with suppressed sobs.
"When you want to cry... you can cry."
Un Ga-ryeo’s warm voice whispered into Sun-woo’s ear. A voice so warm he could feel the heat of it.
"N... no... what... do you.. mean."
"Holding it in isn't always the best way."
She continued in a gentle voice.
"You’ve been holding it in all this time, haven't you? When you were sad, when you were angry, when you were disappointed, when you were in pain... So today, let’s cry just a little bit...... just enough to let those pent-up emotions fly away."
Un Ga-ryeo spoke with a motherly smile. Hearing those words, Sun-woo finally began to shed tears. Her benevolent words had burst the dam of emotions he had been pressing down.
Drip, drip.
Sun-woo wept and wept, as if releasing all the knots in his heart.
"You can cry all you want.... There is no one here but you and me."
Squeeze.
Un Ga-ryeo held the sobbing Sun-woo even tighter.
Stroke, stroke, stroke.
She began to gently stroke his hair.
"...I'm... trash, right?.... I'm... really.. bad, aren't I?....."
Sun-woo asked her through his tears.
"No..... that’s not true.... You simply made a mistake for a moment.."
Un Ga-ryeo comforted him.
"Everyone makes mistakes. What’s truly important is not repeating that mistake."
Un Ga-ryeo’s benevolent voice echoed in Sun-woo’s ear. Feeling her warm voice and embrace, Sun-woo wept silently until his emotions were finally spent.