If I Had Sex With You, I Probably Wouldn't Get Excited At All?

"...Huh?"

Something felt off.

Why was the living room light on? I was certain I had turned it off when I left.

Click.

A door opened somewhere, following that inexplicable sense of unease.

I whipped my head toward the sound, and what filled my eyes was Bae Na-eun, completely naked.

"Mmm-hmm-hmm♬"

She must have just finished showering. She walked out of the bathroom humming cheerfully.

Her eyes were closed as she dried her wet hair with a towel, so she still hadn't noticed me standing in the living room.

Which meant this was the perfect chance to admire Bae Na-eun's bare body.

As if.

The girl who used to feel like a little sister was walking out like that, so I jumped in shock and yelled before I could stop myself.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing!"

"Eh? Kyaaaah!"

She was so startled she flung the towel away and dashed back into the bathroom to hide.

"You son of a bitch! If you're coming in, at least announce yourself!"

"You crazy girl. If nobody's home, you should just leave. Why are you barging in and showering like you own the place?"

"You must have seen my shoes at the front door!"

Had I? Were her shoes there?

I had been replaying yesterday's events in my head and walked in without thinking.

"I don't know! I didn't see them, okay!"

I should have changed the passcode yesterday after she left.

Why didn't I?

Because if I changed it, she would tell my mom that I watch porn every single day in my rented room.

It was true, but my mother and I weren't exactly open enough to share that particular hobby.

"You stayed quiet on purpose so you could stare at my body!"

"What the fuck are you even saying? Forget it. I'll stay in my room, so come out, get dressed, and then I'm changing the passcode."

"Ah, whyyy!"

Click!

"You said I'm the only person you know in this neighborhood!"

She threw the bathroom door open and poked just her face through the gap, shouting.

If you don't know anyone, make friends or entertain yourself at home. What's the problem?

"Get dressed first. I'll be in my room."

I didn't wait for an answer and retreated to my room, pulling out my phone.

"Hey, Sora."

"How long has she been here?"

"At least she didn't stay too long. But how can you even know that?"

Oh… right. That was an option. As expected of my partner—she was competent.

"I'm dressed!"

"Okay. Coming out."

I had come to my own house, so why did I feel so drained?

Damn it, wait. She was helping herself again…!

"Hey. When did you pull that out?"

She wasn't wearing her own clothes. She had put on one of my t-shirts instead.

With a body like hers, an oversized men's tee should have looked insanely hot, but maybe it was because she had been acting like a blood-related little sister since yesterday.

Instead of arousal, fatigue and annoyance hit me first.

"Whatever. I'll just wear something comfortable while I'm here."

"You're not going home? You're staying longer?"

"Obviously. I came over to watch YouTube together. Or should we do Netflix today?"

"You can watch that stuff alone at your own place."

"No way! I've told you multiple times that I've been dying of boredom these past few months because I don't know anyone in this neighborhood!"

There were people like that.

No matter how entertaining something was, they couldn't enjoy it properly by themselves.

Usually a lot of outgoing types were like that. I guess she was one of them?

When we were kids she came over to our house every day after school, so I never noticed.

Back then I didn't think much of it, but these days I treasured my personal space more than anything.

"Why do you keep saying you don't know anyone? You must have classmates."

"I took a leave of absence, remember?!"

"Ah, right. If you're here, that means you're living alone too? Why bother with a place if you're on break?"

"I wasn't planning to take a break originally, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠but I run a YouTube Shorts channel."

"Shorts?"

"Yeah. It's doing way better than I expected, so I'm focusing on that right now. Hehe."

How well must it be doing for her to take a leave of absence?

Did she appear in the videos herself?

Honestly, with her looks, the views probably rolled in.

"What do you post?"

"I'm not telling. Go find it yourself. Bet you can't."

"What if I do?"

"If you find it, I won't complain even if you change the passcode."

"Deal. You better keep that promise."

You're finished. The second she leaves, I'm asking Sora.

Wait a second. Now that I thought about it….

"Right. What about Jiyeon noona?"

Jiyeon noona was Bae Na-eun's older sister.

She was one year older than me, and until I moved away in my second year of high school, the two of us had been really close.

Actually, to be precise, we were close until right before the move—until I confessed to her.

I had mentioned it before. The childhood friend noona who rejected my high-school confession was Bae Na-eun's sister.

I was sure she liked me back then, so why….

"Is noona doing okay?"

"My sister? Uh… yeah, she's fine. Why? I haven't told her I ran into you yet. Want me to?"

"Huh? No, no, you don't have to…."

I was curious about my first love's current life, but getting cleanly rejected made it awkward.

"Ah, I want something sweet after that shower. Got anything♬"

The intruder headed straight for the refrigerator like it was her own house.

Without hesitation she went for the ice cream I had shoved into the corner—.

"Hey! I bought that again yesterday!"

"Aww, I'll buy more next time! I'm earning money from my Shorts, you know?"

Was she here to raid my fridge instead of because she was bored?

"Sigh… At least bring the one you ate yesterday too."

===

"Detective Kim!"

"Yes, what did you find?"

"Look at this. A strand of hair."

"This color is…?"

"Gasp! What? The part-timer is the culprit?"

The two of us were sitting side by side on the bed again, watching a mystery movie on the computer monitor.

Bae Na-eun, completely absorbed, kept slapping my shoulder in excitement.

"See? I was right! She's crazy, for real!"

Every time she excitedly pounded on me, her soft-looking breasts jiggled.

Honestly, that was why I couldn't focus on the movie at all.

She was still only wearing my t-shirt on top. Just a single pair of panties below.

Earlier I had been too annoyed at the uninvited guest to care, but now that she was pressed right against me, I couldn't ignore it.

"Ooh, here we go! They're going to catch the killer now!"

Wow, her nipple outline was completely visible.

It was just a plain cotton tee, but on a girl with big breasts it turned this erotic.

The scene I had witnessed earlier flashed through my mind again.

Bae Na-eun walking out of the bathroom humming, completely naked, unaware the owner had ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠come home.

I had shouted in panic and she had hidden again right away, but the image was burned into my brain.

Flawless skin like white porcelain, without a single blemish.

Breasts so heavy they might even beat Yun Seolah's if they were any bigger.

A slim waist and perfectly shaped legs that made it hard to believe this was the same girl I used to tease by calling her "Bae Na-um" when we were little.

If I ignored the strange guilt of seeing what felt like my little sister's naked body, I could have stared at her all day.

And that same body was sitting right beside me, completely defenseless.

I was desperately fighting to keep my son from standing at attention.

"There! Grab her! What are the cops doing? Catch her already!"

No. Don't look at her. Hold it together.

If she noticed me getting hard because of her, she would definitely act cocky again like yesterday.

Being laughed at by a girl who didn't see me as a man even a fingernail's worth was something my male pride refused to allow.

"Whoa, they got her! Is it over now? …Huh? What? What the—?"

Bae Na-eun, who had been glued to the monitor, tilted her head in confusion.

I felt the same.

The movie had been following a realistic mystery plot, but the moment they caught the culprit, a ghost in funeral clothes suddenly appeared.

"Revenge… I will have my revenge…."

"D-Detective Kim! W-what is that?!"

"It seems that ghost orchestrated everything!"

Ending with a ghost drift was pretty ridiculous.

I thought this movie had decent ratings. Did they hire ghostwriters or something?

"This is revenge for my child!!!!"

No matter how weak the plot was, this was too much—.

"Kyaaaaaaaaah!"

Bae Na-eun, who had been quiet, suddenly grabbed my arm and clung to it.

"Ghost! It's a ghooooost!"

"Ugh, hey! What's with you all of a sudden!"

"G-g-ghost! It's a ghost!"

"I know, so let go! It's hot, let go!"

"Why is there a ghost?! There wasn't supposed to be a ghost! Mommmmm!"

Why was she suddenly having a seizure?

…Oh, right.

She used to be terrified of ghosts even when we were kids.

That's why I used to scare her on purpose with ghost stories and videos. I had completely forgotten.

"Kyaaaah! This is unfair! If I knew there was a ghost I wouldn't have watched! Turn it off! Turn it off right now!"

"Calm down and let go first! I can't turn it off if you don't let go!"

Damn it, why wouldn't she come off!

This wasn't the kind of strength that appeared in life-or-death situations. Why was she so strong?

"Stay right there!!!!"

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Hey, let go already!"

It didn't seem like I could pry her off normally, so I shoved her shoulder with all my strength.

At that moment.

Because she was flailing wildly, my hand slipped and ended up grabbing one of her breasts.

"Hik?!"

Bae Na-eun froze as if she had been hit with a tranquilizer dart.

I froze too, but we couldn't stay like this.

In what felt like an eternity but was only a split second, I yanked my hand away, walked to the computer, and turned the movie off.

"…."

Silence filled the room.

What the hell? Was this some development straight out of a Japanese anime or porn?

It looked enviable when I watched it, but experiencing it myself was just insanely awkward.

Would she report me for sexual harassment?

Even if she didn't go that far, would she tell her mom?

If her mom found out, my mom would too. What then?

If our statements differed, whose side would my mom or the police believe?

While my mind spun in chaos, I slowly turned around.

"Haa… haa…."

Bae Na-eun, who had finally calmed down, was catching her breath.

"Phew. Damn, I thought I was going to die of fright. What the hell? Who calls this a masterpiece?!"

"Y-yeah, seriously. …Are you okay?"

"About what?"

"The… the thing where I grabbed your breast."

"So what? It was just an accident."

"R-really? That's a relief."

Whew. I was saved.

"What? Why are you like that? Were you scared I'd report you? Puhaha!"

The girl who had been screaming and trembling moments ago burst into laughter as if nothing had happened.

I had even started thinking about what to pack for prison, so this was ridiculous.

"Ahaha! Hey. Why would you worry about something like that? It's not like it was some stranger. Why would I report you when it was you?"

What the hell was she saying now?

"What?"

"I'd only report it if it felt gross. I was surprised, but it was an accident anyway, and I don't even see you as a man, so it doesn't bother me at all."

"What the…."

"Why are you so shocked? I only come over like this because I don't see you as a man at all. Isn't that obvious?"

Tsk. That one actually stung quite a bit.

Of course I didn't want her to see me as a potential romantic partner or anything, but hearing that I wasn't seen as a man at all still dealt a blow to my male pride.

"Hey, I've built up my body at least."

"Pfft. To me you just look like the same old face with a bigger body. If I had sex with you, I really don't think I'd get excited at all? Not that it'd ever happen though."

"…."

"That doesn't mean you can touch me again, so don't get any ideas. And don't get hard like yesterday either."

"I told you it wasn't because of you."

"Haa! I should get going. I need to upload a new video to my channel."

Watching her act so cheerfully without a care in the world completely drained my energy.

Arguing over her words now seemed pointless, so I couldn't even press the issue.

"If you're leaving, give me back my shirt and go quickly."

"Okaaaay."

A few minutes later the uninvited guest finally left, and peace returned to the apartment.

Yet I sat on the bed with a face like I had chewed on shit.

"…."

What the hell.

I was doing everything in my power to ignore it, yet she ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠claimed she didn't feel anything even when my hand grabbed her breast?

Didn't that mean she saw me as no different from a random dog on the street?

I had let her in out of a little pity because she said she didn't know anyone and had nowhere to go, even though it was annoying.

I kept telling myself that even though her body was insanely hot, she was like a little sister so I shouldn't think that way, desperately holding onto my reason.

Yet she had just shattered my pride into pieces before leaving?

"Sigh."

No, she said she wouldn't feel even the slightest bit excited if we had sex.

That was straight-up disrespect.

It went beyond hurting my pride and actually made me feel hurt.

Was there no way to show her my masculinity clearly?

I kind of wanted to confirm whether she really wouldn't feel anything even if we did it.

…….

Should I ask Sora for help?

Blackmailing her like I did with Yun Seolah felt a bit much, but if we could reach a peaceful, consensual agreement….

Right. Sora only helped with women related to censorship.

Bae Na-eun didn't seem interested in censorship issues at all.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"Sora."

"That girl Bae Na-eun who came over today. She wounded my pride a little. Targeting her… isn't possible, right?"

"See? I was just saying—wait, it is?"

"No, no. I want to do it more gently, without blackmail."

I waved my hands unconsciously as I answered and continued.

"But I thought you only helped with women related to censorship. She doesn't seem to care about that stuff at all."

"She's influencing it?"

"Yeah. Show me."

She had no interest in censorship but was influencing it? What did that mean?

While I wondered, text began filling the screen of the phone in my hand.

Just like with Yun Seolah, the information was neatly organized for easy reading.

After reading it, I couldn't help but be shocked by the unexpected truth.

"…Is this real?"