Chapter 19
Chapter 19
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 19
Chapter Title: Give Me Some Attention Too
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"Uuuuugh..."
Right after finishing lunch and returning to the classroom, I flopped face-down on my desk.
And then I started thinking about the boys who had gone off to play soccer.
Including Haneul, who had tagged along with them in the middle of the group to play soccer.
"Haaaah..."
I couldn't help but let out a deep sigh. A sigh so heavy it felt like the ground might cave in.
Lately, Haneul had been spending way more time hanging out with the boys.
When the upperclassmen from years 2 and 3 took over the soccer field, he'd switch to basketball; when they claimed the basketball court too, he'd head to the ping-pong room, diligently enjoying his youth with his friends.
...Leaving me, his childhood friend, behind like this.
I found myself puffing out my cheeks without realizing it. Whenever I'd make this face in front of Haneul, he'd always comfort me, but now that there was no one to do that, it felt so empty.
This is too much. Didn't you come to this school to hang out with me? So why are you ignoring me like this lately?
As my dissatisfaction kept building, a soft hand suddenly pressed against my cheek.
-Puuuuff...
The air escaped from my cheek, and I turned my head to look at the owner of the finger poking me.
The owner of that finger was Ji-yun, the first friend I made after starting middle school.
"Seol-i, what are you doing?"
"Just lying here..."
"Just lying here? Is something wrong?"
"Nothing..."
I grumbled a bit in response to Ji-yun, but she just stared at me like I was cute.
"Because of Kang Haneul?"
"Huh...?"
I looked at her with a face like How did you know?, and Ji-yun just chuckled and answered.
"Seol-i, you're such a Haneul fan. At the start of the semester, you were always stuck to Haneul even though he's in a different class, and you always went to and from school with him."
Hearing that made my face feel like it was turning bright red.
It was just pure embarrassment.
It felt like my friend had seen right through my feelings.
"Uuuuugh..."
I couldn't say anything and just hung my head, when suddenly Ji-yun pulled me into a hug.
-Whoosh!
"So cute~ Why are you so cute, Seol-i?"
"Ji-yun... Let go...?"
I wriggled to escape her embrace, and eventually, I ended up spilling my current worries to her.
It was about how Haneul hadn't been playing with me much lately.
Ji-yun nodded in sympathy, even taking my side enthusiastically.
"Kang Haneul's being mean, yeah?"
"Haneul isn't bad. It's just that I'm dissatisfied."
Hearing that, Ji-yun burst into giggles and hugged me again.
"How are you so cute, Seol-i~? Puhehehehe."
"Let me goooo..."
Lately, people kept trying to hug me, saying I was cute or whatever.
It didn't make me feel bad, but if I had to be honest, I'd prefer hearing it from Haneul.
"Seol-i, if you're that upset, just go straight to Kang Haneul and tell him! Ask why he hasn't been hanging out with you lately."
"Th-that's..."
That felt a bit off. Haneul wasn't my babysitter or my guardian.
Haneul had the right to hang out with friends, to exercise with them.
Yeah, that's what my head knew...
But before I knew it, I had wandered over to the side of where Haneul was exercising and was staring intently at him.
About a week passed like that, just watching Haneul, when Ji-yun, who had come up next to me at some point, said to me with her dissatisfaction packed tightly into her words.
"I told you, just go say it straight!"
"Still..."
"Argh, so frustrating...!"
Ji-yun grabbed my hesitating cheeks and stretched them out.
"Uuuuugh... It huuurts... Ji-yun...!"
"Aigoo, you frustrating girl...! You think Kang Haneul will figure out how you feel if you keep acting like this?"
-Pop!
Ji-yun let go of my cheeks, and I rubbed my stinging face while looking at Haneul.
Haneul is so cool.
His taller-than-me height is cool, and his way more mature look compared to kids our age is cool.
His studying face is cool, his exercising face is cool, even his mistakes are cool.
The way he scores a goal like that is cool, and high-fiving his friends is cool.
...And I want to see more of that coolness. From closer up, more different kinds of coolness.
"Yeah... Okay."
"That's right, good thinking."
Ji-yun patted my head, and I thought to myself.
Ji-yun's like a big sister. A really reliable one.
I'm so glad she's my friend.
Anyway, after getting advice from Ji-yun, I really mustered up the courage to speak.
So when soccer ended, I went straight to Haneul and blurted it out.
"Haneul."
"Oh, Seol-i. What's up?"
The moment I saw his face, the words caught in my throat.
Just moments ago, I had all these things I wanted to say, like 'Play with me too,' or 'Give me some attention too,' or 'Spend time with me too.'
I had so much to say, but it all vanished.
"Uh... so... um... uh..."
I rolled my eyes and ended up hanging my head low.
This is bad. I had so much to say, but I can't get it out.
I was scared he'd get hurt by those words, scared he'd start watching my mood because of them, scared they'd push us apart.
It was too frightening, too scary.
"U... uuuugh..."
I couldn't say anything, couldn't do this or that, just kept my head down, when suddenly Haneul's head popped into view.
He had crouched down to look up at me.
And then, with an incredibly gentle smile, Haneul said,
"...Sorry. I've been hanging out with the boys too much lately, huh?"
"Huh...?"
"I thought about it, and it feels like I haven't been taking care of you properly lately."
At those words, all the tension suddenly melted away.
I nodded without thinking, and Haneul gently comforted me.
"Sorry. Tomorrow, let's go to the library together, just you and me."
I nodded again, unable to respond.
I was too grateful, too sorry.
And my feelings for him had grown even bigger. So I nodded.
I sent words through my eyes that would never reach Haneul.
Haneul, I like you.
Haneul, I've always liked you.
Haneul, I'll keep liking you from now on.
After Seol-i's nod, I started spending a lot more time with her.
It was a situation where I had no choice but to increase it anyway.
Our first midterm exams in middle school were coming up.
I had to study with Seol-i, so we ended up spending time together almost by force. It felt awkward to go exercise too.
But that was fine. Studying Seol-i was incredibly cute too.
The cuteness level of Seol-i pondering with her lips pursed is MAX.
That's why I can't understand it even more. How could that idiot Kim Do-yoon reject such a cute Seol-i?
Our Seol-i is so cute and kind.
Unfortunately, the chance to connect with Seol-i had already flown away.
Seol-i no longer liked Kim Do-yoon.
"Haneul, can you help me with this problem?"
"Sure. For this one, just use that formula we memorized before. This one."
"Ahh...!"
In the original story, when Seol-i encountered tough problems like this, she'd go ask Kim Do-yoon.
She'd grow her feelings for him while he taught her.
But now, Seol-i asks me. Not Kim Do-yoon, me.
Proof that she no longer likes Kim Do-yoon.
She even sounded a bit repulsed whenever Kim Do-yoon came up lately.
Look at her now.
"Should we study with kids like Kim Do-yoon or Lee Ji-yoon?"
"If we do that with you, Haneul, you'll end up going off to exercise with Kim Do-yoon, right...?"
"Maybe after we're done studying?"
"Then don't go."
"As you command."
I decided to study just the two of us, without calling Kim Do-yoon, as Seol-i wanted.
But as always, life doesn't go the way you want.
What do I mean by that?
Kim Do-yoon and Lee Ji-yoon, plus Choi Seong-gil, Lee Jun-hoo, Park Woo-jin... Kim Do-yoon's crew came to the library.
Since I'd gotten friendly with all those guys, I figured they'd come sit nearby and study.
Seol-i, sorry—what can I do? If they're here, I can't stop them.
As I inwardly apologized to Seol-i, Kim Do-yoon and the others glanced at me once...
...and just nodded and walked past.
Wait, why? Why just go?
They even sat in the spot farthest from us and started studying among themselves.
Wasn't the standard trope for them to join my side and study noisily and happily?
But that trope didn't happen, and Seol-i just smiled brightly and kept studying.
...Does Seol-i dislike them? Her face suddenly lit up?
But no, after studying ended, she even chatted happily with Lee Ji-yoon.
I don't get it. Seol-i's feelings.
They're so complicated and dizzying, I have no clue.
But it probably doesn't matter anyway.
Seol-i seems satisfied with this life.
No getting hurt by Kim Do-yoon, just enjoying a happy school life surrounded by friends.