Trip to the US (5)
Trip to the US (5)
Just a moment ago, A-yeon had been feeling like she was on cloud nine.
Yeah, I admit it.
I am romantically attracted to my Oppa.
It's not illegal, and it's not incest.
Since we went from being step-siblings to strangers after the divorce, it doesn't matter if we get married or whatever else.
On top of that, I was the one who suggested we live together first.
And even Dohyun seems to be conscious of yesterday's kiss.
A-yeon felt confident that if she just put in the time, she could definitely seduce her Oppa.
But Dohyun already has two women.
'...Ah.'
And just hearing about them, they're women who are incomparable to me.
One of them stuck by Dohyun for 1,000 days, and they relied on each other during the hardest times.
The other one handed Dohyun tens of millions of won.
She was also the person who helped him immensely when he ended up in prison because of my mistake.
Both of them have only had a positive influence on Dohyun's life.
But what about me?
...What about me?
'I've only ever been a burden to Oppa.'
A-yeon hasn't done a single thing for Dohyun.
Not one thing.
She's only ever received; she's never given anything back.
Suddenly, she thought of yesterday's kiss.
For A-yeon, it had been a masterstroke.
An act of revenge against Su-a, and an attempt to make her Oppa aware of her.
But when she heard about what Dohyun had been through in the three years after his release.
A-yeon realized what kind of bullshit she had pulled and felt deep regret.
'...Someone like me.'
He must have been disgusted.
It must have been a burden.
She had heard how hard a life Dohyun had lived because of her.
How he couldn't even find a job after his release and had to focus on the game for hours every day.
Because of that, A-yeon couldn't even feel jealous.
Because she could never have stood on the same starting line as those two women to begin with.
The depression she had forgotten, hidden by happiness, flared up again.
Her eyes gradually dimmed.
Why had she forgotten it?
Maybe it was because she had been hit on by several men.
Or maybe it was because even a woman had confessed to her.
I am trash.
Since the incident that day, A-yeon's self-esteem had remained shattered.
I have to act like I'm okay.
I have to support my Oppa's love.
A-yeon couldn't hide her sinking mood.
Even though she had been acting like she was fine for the past three years, both to her foster parents and everyone else.
In front of her Oppa, she just couldn't do it.
Meanwhile, Dohyun, sitting across the table, felt the atmosphere around A-yeon sinking.
'Is she hurt after all?'
She might be heartbroken to hear that the Oppa she likes has other women.
'...No, that's not it.'
Something is strange.
No, it's not that kind of atmosphere.
Though not as severe as A-yeon, Dohyun is also a person whose self-esteem has been crushed.
He doesn't have the confidence to understand why Yoon-seo and Ha-rin-nuna like him.
And he doesn't feel he deserves their love.
In the eyes of such a Dohyun, A-yeon's appearance overlapped with his own.
*
I decided to organize my thoughts in a common-sense way.
Considering the existence of Kim Su-ah, A-yeon's life wouldn't have been smooth even after I disappeared.
Born into the worst home.
Abandoned by her mother.
In middle school, her stepfather...
She suffered from depression.
She accidentally killed someone.
Her Oppa took the fall for it.
And for three years, she was gaslit by a piece of human trash.
Really... could A-yeon think normally?
If someone had a normal way of thinking, the reaction to what I just said would be set in stone.
I mean, I'm seeing two women, for God's sake!
Usually, they would scold me for being out of my mind or show a look of disappointment.
If they really liked me, they might get a bit dejected.
But that look? That's going too far.
Her eyes were so deeply darkened, like someone about to go die right now.
As expected, A-yeon gave the exact answer I thought she would.
"...I'm sorry, Oppa. Yesterday was too much of a burden, wasn't it?"
"...."
"...If I had known you were seeing someone, I shouldn't have done that."
I realized it immediately.
Her depression—it hasn't been cured yet.
A-yeon's insides, having suffered from a sickness of the heart for six years, had turned into a sewer.
"Living together, if it's a burden to you, Oppa, you can cancel it. My new parents are really good people."
"...."
"You don't have to meet me like this against your will. You don't have to give me allowance, either."
"...."
"And... like I said yesterday, I don't like you, Oppa! So you don't need to feel any guilt or anything like that. That was really just to screw over Kim Su-ah, so I'm so sorry...."
A-yeon rambled on incoherently.
"And...."
They call that emotional state Menhera, don't they?
The Menhera I saw on the internet would say they'd kill themselves if you didn't look at them.
Her state was one step further than that.
"Ah! I, I don't like you—I mean, not in a romantic way, of course. I really respect you, Oppa. I don't even care that you couldn't come see me for six years. So. Uh...."
Her words had no structure.
She was falling apart.
I finally realized how much A-yeon had been relying on me.
And how long I had been neglecting A-yeon.
I couldn't just sit there and listen to the end.
I stood up abruptly and knelt in front of A-yeon.
"I'm sorry, A-yeon-ah."
"Huh?"
"About not coming to see you after I got out. I did it because I thought I'd be a hindrance to your life. But it seems I should have been seeing your face regularly."
"No, why do you need to be sorry, Oppa? It happened because of me...."
"It wasn't because of you."
"No, it was because of me. I was the one who was the hindrance to your life. Because of me, you couldn't sleep properly, you went to prison, and yet even after six years, I'm still just a source of worry. Even yesterday...."
I stared intently at her face, then pinched her soft cheek.
And I kneaded it for a long time.
When A-yeon was feeling depressed at the convenience store.
I used to comfort her by lowering my gaze and fiddling with her cheeks like this.
"You know what? If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here."
When the situation at home was so fucking shitty that I wanted to throw it all away and just run wild.
When I thought it would be better to just commit a crime and run to prison than to live like this.
I would knead A-yeon's cheeks and clear my mind.
When my heart was sick.
A-yeon's support became my cure-all.
"Because you exist, the current me can exist."
Receiving the love of an S-rank sickly beautiful girl and a third-generation chaebol all at once.
The current me, Seo Dohyun, who is obsessed over by a large corporation and has infinite money-copying abilities.
I am a man made by the Seo A-yeon in front of me.
A man who would have shared the same fate as the human trash I met in juvenile detention.
Seo A-yeon fixed me.
"So don't say you're sorry."
"...Ugh."
"Have some confidence. You're dressed so beautifully today, why are you like this? Didn't you see it at school earlier? Everyone was looking at me with envy?"
Well, that's because she's my former younger sister.
It's a miracle that a girl who looks like this likes me.
...I think I had the same thought about Yoon-seo and Ha-rin-nuna, but anyway.
"...What's the point of being pretty? I've only ever been a nuisance until now. Even now, I've come to an expensive restaurant and am just making the atmosphere depressing."
I pinched her cheek one last time and took my hand off her face.
"You're not a nuisance. That's just being spoiled."
"...Spoiled?"
"Yeah. Spoiled."
The bad ones are the adults, not A-yeon.
It shouldn't have happened that a child who should be loved by everyone ended up with depression in the first place.
"Even if the world collapses, I'll be by your side."
My poor little sister.
"So act spoiled like you used to, tell me what you want me to buy you, go ahead. Don't walk on eggshells."
I want this kid to be happy.
"...Can I really?"
"Of course. I'm your Oppa."
"...We're not even family anymore."
"If we think of ourselves as family, then we are. That's why I said it. Let's live together."
I had wondered if the suggestion to live together might be cruel to A-yeon.
But seeing her now, I feel like if I don't keep her by my side and watch over her, something terrible will happen.
I said to A-yeon.
"Is there anything you want to do? If it's something I can do, I'll do anything for you."
A-yeon, who had been making eye contact with me for a long time, sniffled.
And she asks cautiously.
"...Anything?"
"Anything."
"...Anything."
A-yeon, who took a small deep breath, grabbed my shoulders.
Her face comes toward me.
To be exact, her lips.
Wait, what did I just say?
Anything?
"Chu."
This goddamned mouth of mine.
I've promised myself over and over not to make slips of the tongue.
I did it again.
A-yeon's lips overlapped with mine.
Actually, a peck or two was something we did often in the past.
"Oppa, kiss."
"Kiss."
The cheek kisses I'd get from A-yeon whenever I was having a hard time.
There was no support as helpful as that.
"Chu...."
But this is a different case.
"...Puhah."
It didn't last over 10 minutes like yesterday, but a kiss is still a kiss.
A-yeon, who finished the short kiss, looks at me with an ominous gaze.
"I... I have something I want to do."
"...What is it?"
"I want to do it with Oppa."
Life returned to her eyes.
"...Can't I?"
*
You can't, you little brat.
Of course, you can't.
A kiss, sure. I'll concede a hundred times and say that's okay.
Actually, a kiss is also crossing the line, but let's just say it's okay for now.
But going further than this is not it, right?
No matter what, huh?
In this Confucian society of South Korea.
You want me to tell the kid I've raised on my back since elementary school to shake her hips?
But I've already made the promise.
That I'd let her do whatever she wants.
As an Oppa, there was nothing more pathetic than going back on my word.
"...Later, later."
"Later?"
"I'm busy with various things right now, so later... wait."
I asked just in case.
She's so innocent, what if what she wants to do is just a game?
Like, 'Let's craft equipment' in Phantastia.
It could be something like that, right?
"...But what do you want to do?"
"Sex."
"......Laaa! ter."
Yeah, it wasn't that.
Innocent, my ass.
My 'goodnight-cuddle-cat' had gone through six years of time and become a 'let's-sleep-together-hot-fox.'
"Later, yeah. Later."
It seems A-yeon is the type to become an unstoppable runaway train once she goes out of control.
"...You promised we'd do it someday, right?"
A-yeon stares blankly at my lower body.
And she licks her lips.
"Answer me."
I racked my brain hard to find a way to resolve this situation.
...But as expected, no method came to mind.
"...Yes."
Now, I am in a position where I have a 'some' girl in the US and a third-generation chaebol I've promised to marry.
And I'm about to have a relationship with my former step-sister.
Somehow, the situation is getting more and more serious.
*
Time flows.
Finally, the morning to leave for the US dawned.