If It Had Been Baek Seojun
After we exchanged numbers.
There had been a moment where Kim Hyewon glared daggers at me, but somehow the whole affair resolved itself without incident.
In fact, when Han Sohyeon and Han Areum learned what had happened between me and Chaeeun, they got angry on my behalf as if it were their own business.
"That's seriously messed up. How could she like some other guy right in front of the guy who likes her? Even Areum thinks that's totally screwed up, right?"
"Yeah... I think it was wrong of her."
Then Han Sohyeon whipped her head around to look at me.
"Baek Seojun!"
"Yeah?"
"If you're having a hard time, you come talk to this big sis. Always."
She squared her shoulders and thrust her chest out.
Those were really big... no. Focus.
"And what do I get if I talk to you?"
"I'll introduce you to a girl! Love is supposed to be forgotten with new love, after all!"
Han Sohyeon declared triumphantly.
The sheer absurdity of it made me snort out a laugh.
"And you actually have a girl to introduce?"
"Of course I do!"
"Who, exactly?"
It wasn't going to be Han Areum or Kim Hyewon, was it?
I didn't know every detail of her social life, but from what I'd seen, those two were the only ones Han Sohyeon ever hung out with. What other friend could she possibly have?
And sure enough.
"Our Areum, of course!"
Han Sohyeon grabbed Han Areum by the shoulders and shoved her forward.
Pushed out like that, Han Areum flushed bright red in flustered panic.
"S-Sohyun?"
"What do you think of our Areum? Enough maternal love that no one would ever go hungry! Sweet and proper! Honestly, she's so precious I'd hate to hand her over to some guy, but for our wounded Seojun's sake, I'll make the special exception and give you my blessing."
"Ah, aaah..."
Han Areum groaned in agony at Han Sohyeon's saccharine sales pitch.
"So? Not bad, right?"
"Not bad at all, honestly."
The answer slipped out of me on reflex — completely sincere.
Han Areum buried her face.
"Heh heh. Knew it."
Meanwhile, Kim Hyewon, who had been watching all this, reached out and snatched Han Areum right out of Han Sohyeon's arms.
"Don't mess around with Areum."
"Whoa. Don't tell me... are you jealous?"
"...Jealous?"
Kim Hyewon's eyebrows twitched.
"Oho? That reaction really does look like jealousy...?"
"......"
"Hmm. Suspicious. There was that head pat you gave Seojun earlier 'to comfort him,' and the way you've been oddly glued to his side lately..."
That was when I stepped in.
"That was just her comforting me, that's all."
"Oh-ho. So it was just plain old comforting, was it?"
For a split second, the stray thought crossed my mind that maybe it wasn't, but I answered without hesitation.
"It was."
At that, Han Sohyeon curved her lips into an unreadable smile.
"Well, the one who got comforted says so — but what about the thoughts of Ms. Kim Hyewon, the one who did the comforting?"
"...Well."
Kim Hyewon paused in a strange, deliberate way before speaking.
"It was just comfort."
"Hmmm?"
Something was off.
Something was definitely off.
Even I could feel it, and there was no way Han Areum and Han Sohyeon — who'd known Kim Hyewon far longer than I had — could have missed it.
So I was actually growing a little tense, waiting to see what Han Sohyeon would say to Kim Hyewon's face... when—
"Then should I comfort you like that too?"
...Huh?
"Come to think of it, I'm Hyewon's friend too, just like you two are, right? So it'd be totally fine for me to comfort you the same way!"
Han Sohyeon swung her head toward me.
"So? Wouldn't it be nice, snuggling into me like you did with Hyewon?"
"Sure, that sounds ni—"
No.
No, no.
This was all wrong.
The reflexive answer had escaped before I could stop it.
I was clearly suffering from some kind of impaired consciousness. And for some reason, Kim Hyewon looked like she was glaring a hole through me from over there.
"Ahahahah! There it is — your true colors! So you're just a man after all, Baek Seojun, huh? Hm? You've been dying to bury yourself in your big sis's arms all along, haven't you?"
"......"
"Hm? Come on, be honest with me, Seojun. Be really honest, and this big sis might just do all sorts of things for you — this way, that way — just like Hyewon did?"
"S-Sohyun, come on..."
That gesture of hers was downright indecent.
She was cupping her own chest with both hands, subtly pushing it upward, and the sight was nothing short of hazardous to public safety.
But I couldn't just stand there and let the hazard play out.
If I didn't react, the atmosphere would genuinely freeze over. And I had no desire to watch a WWE match turn into a UFC octagon right before my eyes.
So.
"Then will you do it?"
I decided to shamelessly call her bluff.
"Wh-what?"
"Weren't you saying you'd comfort me?"
"I-I did say that...?"
"Go ahead."
I spread my arms wide.
To make it easy for her to hug me.
Well? What now?
There. Give up already.
Give up, Han Sohyeon — call me a pervert, throw insults if you have to, whatever it takes so this conversation doesn't go down in history as a WWE event.
And so both Kim Hyewon and Han Areum turned and stared fixedly at Han Sohyeon.
Then —
Boing.
"......?"
Pat, pat.
There, there.
"Is... is this how you do it?"
Han Sohyeon's face, red enough to burst at any second, pulled me into an embrace.
Just the way Kim Hyewon had done before.
"......"
"S-so... how is it? Is it... comforting at all...?"
With trembling eyes and clumsy hands, she stroked my head where it rested against her chest.
There was only one possible thing to say here.
"...Yeah."
"G-good, then."
She really was embarrassed beyond belief.
To be fair, if you asked me whether I was embarrassed — yes, I was. But more than that, the cozy warmth of it felt genuinely pleasant.
Different from Kim Hyewon's, but just the same, there was that sweet scent and warm heat.
That soft, tentative touch stroking my hair, awkward but gentle.
...This might, just maybe, awaken me to a whole new preference.
"Sweetheart. Are you really not going to school today?"
"......"
"Say something, won't you? Are you truly not going?"
"......"
"You don't have to go if you don't want to, but at least tell me why..."
"......"
"...Sigh. Fine, I'll call the school and say you're too sick to attend. But you have to tell me what's going on later."
......
The room fell quiet.
Kim Chaeeun lay alone in her bedroom, buried beneath her blanket.
Her condition under that blanket could not have been described as "fine," even as a polite lie. Whether or not she'd actually slept, dark circles shadowed her eyes, her skin had turned dry and dull, and her empty stomach growled — she hadn't touched breakfast.
She'd been like this ever since she came home after talking to Baek Seojun last night.
...It hurts.
Her chest ached.
She couldn't quite explain it, but a strange, hollow emptiness had settled inside her, and every time Baek Seojun crossed her mind, it throbbed.
It hurt so much she couldn't move.
As if she'd been left utterly alone in the world.
As if she couldn't comprehend how things had come to this.
"Let's not stay friends anymore."
That single sentence Baek Seojun had spat out while looking her dead in the eye.
Under normal circumstances, she would have taken it as a joke. It wasn't the kind of thing you'd say jokingly, but then again, it wasn't the kind of thing you'd say seriously, either.
But—
"Think I've lost my mind. Or you can assume I'm just a pathetic, wretched mess of a guy — doesn't matter. Whatever you think of me, the result won't change."
Looking into his eyes, there was no way she couldn't know. Unless she was a fool.
He was serious.
There wasn't a shred of a joke in it.
His eyes were far too steady and unflinching for any of it to be a lie.
What on earth had gone wrong?
What could it have been, that everything ended up like this?
Why had the "friend" she treasured most been the one to declare the end of their relationship?
Just then, one of Baek Seojun's words flashed through her mind.
"At some point, being around you just kept piling up the hurt."
When on earth had that been?
She couldn't even begin to guess.
"You wouldn't know when, would you? I figured as much."
What kind of expression had he worn back then?
Had he been angry?
Or had he been grieving?
...No.
He had been smiling.
Why on earth had he been smiling? She couldn't understand. Was he that happy, in the very moment of ending things?
And if so — why?
"Hey, Chaeeun."
"...Yeah."
Stop.
"I hate you now."
Please, stop.
"...You hate me?"
I don't want to think about it anymore.
Don't say anything else. Please.
But.
"Yeah."
The him in her memory had recited it flatly, tonelessly — I despise you.
So flat that it sounded like a lie.
And yet—
Krrk—
"......"
The sickening sensation of that tightening around her chest made her curl up even smaller beneath the blanket. That ugly feeling was a reminder that what happened yesterday was not a dream — it was real.
And then—
Knock, knock, knock—
Someone rapped on her door.
At first she wondered if it was her mom.
But her mother never knocked — she simply opened the door and walked in.
So it had to be someone else...
...Seojun?
The only person who knocked before entering was Baek Seojun.
But.
Knock, knock, knock—
"Chaeeun? Can I come in for a minute?"
It wasn't Seojun.
It was, in fact, the voice of the boy she'd grown close to lately — the boy she believed she was beginning to carry feelings for...
Slam—
"Chaeeun."
It was Yang Jinhyeok.
As he stepped into the room, Kim Chaeeun lifted only her face slightly out of the blanket.
He was different from Baek Seojun.
Not as tall as him, not strikingly handsome like him.
Just a kind-looking face and a gentle air about him. The kind of boy who somehow made you feel at ease just by looking at him.
"You okay? You suddenly didn't show up at school today. Are you really sick?"
Yang Jinhyeok was still in his school uniform, as though he'd come straight from class.
And yet.
"......"
"Must be pretty bad, huh. You could've at least texted me."
What would it have been like if it were Baek Seojun?
The moment he found out she was sick, he'd always gone out and bought her medicine. She already had more than enough — his gifts had piled up untouched, more medicine than she could ever finish taking.
And still, he kept buying it anyway.
He'd stayed by her side, taking care of her, too.
And in that instant, a single sentence flickered through her mind.
"Ah — Chaeeun, don't ever end up like me. I hope you find real love, someday."
She thought.
Seojun... did he still like me, after all?
And I...