I Hope You Regret It
"...What?"
"I said, is this because I turned down your confession?"
That one sentence from Kim Chaeeun made my head spin.
How could she seriously bring that up right now?
Look, fine — if I was really bent on digging for some fundamental cause, I'd admit her rejecting my confession was a piece of it. She didn't accept my feelings, and then she kept up a relationship that felt so much like reeling me along on a line that anyone would have called it exactly that. On top of that, she'd grown tired of me — a girl who, right in front of someone in love with her, gushed about liking another man and asked for his blessing. So yes, I'd grown exhausted, and I'd wanted to walk away.
But still.
"...Are you actually being serious right now?"
"...If not that, then what else? There's no way you'd suddenly act like this, Seojun."
Apparently she'd misread the whole thing.
It wasn't that she turned down my confession. I'm no narcissist — I've never once believed women were obligated to accept a confession just because it was offered.
It was what came after that was the problem.
I was so dumbfounded I couldn't get a word out, and she must have taken my silence for a yes, because she went on laying out her reasoning.
"I don't think I've ever once seen you mad at me, Seojun, but honestly? Today I'm a little angry."
"......"
"Were you always this petty, Seojun?"
Petty?
Now is when that word comes out?
"We're friends. I'm allowed to turn down a confession — you don't get to fall apart over just that."
I wanted to throw the question right back at her. If we're friends, does she get to have a meltdown over me moving apartments?
But she opened her mouth faster than I could.
"This is honestly pathetic. You're being so petty and ugly about it."
"......"
"You're making this relationship impossible, Seojun."
...
"...Ha."
Hahahaha.
"...Seojun? Are you laughing right now?"
Laughter just spilled out of me, purely from the absurdity of it all.
So that's how it was, huh.
I couldn't even muster the will to be angry. I simply couldn't believe that everything I'd poured into all those years had just been tossed into the garbage like it was nothing. It felt like I was reading some badly written novel. That's how little of this felt real.
And at the same time, my mind was made up, completely.
"Are you messing with me?"
Whatever this relationship was, ending it here and now could only be for the best.
"I'm not messing with you."
"Then this is you being serious?"
"Yeah."
"How is that serious?"
"It's serious."
At least, as serious as anyone can sound while talking to someone they're never going to see again after today.
She froze.
"...What did you just say?"
"You heard me."
Looking into the eyes of the girl I'd once loved, I said it slowly, clearly, word by word.
"Let's stop being friends."
"...You're joking, right?"
"That's my line from earlier."
"Stop joking around and answer me properly, Seojun. Are you serious?"
"Then yes. I'm serious."
As if I'd joke about something like this?
I don't play games with people's hearts. Never have, and I never will. Whatever I do, I give it everything I have and live without regretting the chances I take.
"Think I've gone crazy if you want. Or go ahead and think I'm some pathetic, wretched excuse of a man. Whatever you decide I am, the outcome won't change."
"...Wh-what are you even saying?"
That if I kept this relationship going, all I'd get from here on was more scars. That I'd genuinely suffocate inside it. That I was going to run — loudly, and without apology — before it choked the life out of me.
"At some point, being around you just became one wound stacking on top of another."
"When? When exactly—"
"You wouldn't know when, would you? Figured as much."
Whether she truly didn't notice, or noticed and chose to look away — privately, I thought it was the former. She just smiled every day, oblivious to the wounds quietly piling up right beside her.
Then again, the bigger fool was probably me — the idiot who, unable to let go of my feelings, kept trying to be good to her anyway.
"......"
"Pretty funny, right? From where you're standing, I've apparently just lost my mind out of nowhere."
"...Not even a little funny."
"Good. It wasn't meant to be."
"......"
The me reflected in her eyes was smiling.
Out of anger? Out of disbelief? Because it was genuinely funny? At this point, I honestly couldn't tell anymore.
"Hey, Chaeeun."
"...Yeah."
"I hate you now."
"...You hate me?"
"Yeah."
Truly.
"It used to be love and hate tangled together. But I think even that's about to turn into plain hatred."
That's just how triggers work. You can hold out fine for ages, but the moment one small thing catches — no matter how tiny — it poisons everything else. This was one of those things.
"I really do want it to end."
Loving alone. A heart that was never once rewarded.
"So let's end it."
"W-wait a second—"
I turned my back on her. Then, after a moment—
"Ah."
I glanced back at her one last time.
"Chaeeun — I hope you don't end up like me. I hope you find a love that actually works out."
"...Seojun?"
"So from now on, I'd appreciate it if you'd pretend not to know me at school. Take care."
As I walked out of the park, one thought lingered: if she had shown me even a single moment of consideration, we never would have had to crash into an ending like this. I'd wanted it to remain a beautiful memory of my youth, at least.
But that ship had sailed.
***
The next day, Chaeeun didn't come to school.
Frankly, it was a relief. After cutting her off so completely the night before, running into her first thing in the morning would have been rough.
As for why she hadn't shown — whether she couldn't bear the sight of me, or whether she was actually sick — it didn't matter anymore. To me now, Kim Chaeeun was a complete stranger.
That was when it happened.
A face suddenly filled my vision.
"Baek Seojun."
Kim Hyewon had leaned in, inches from mine.
"......?"
"Something happen?"
Her face popping up out of nowhere startled me half to death.
"...Could you maybe announce yourself before shoving your face in mine? I nearly lost my heart."
"I called your name. Isn't that enough?"
"How is that the same as announcing yourself?"
I swear, I was genuinely startled.
"Hm. I'll think about it."
"Don't just think about it — actually do it from now on."
Kim Hyewon gave a halfhearted nod. There was no way she'd actually listened to a word of that.
"So? What happened? You've been spacing out all morning."
"...Nothing happened. You're imagining things."
"Liar."
Her eyes locked straight onto mine.
"You look completely rattled."
...Was it that obvious?
"It seems like you went somewhere last night. Is it related to that?"
"......?"
Hold on.
"How do you know about that?"
A chill ran down my spine.
How on earth did Kim Hyewon know I'd gone out last night? Don't tell me she set up a security camera by my door.
"Don't get any weird ideas. I was just in the living room and heard your door open and close, so I put two and two together."
Oh. So the walls are that thin.
"...Then how'd you know I was having weird ideas just now?"
"That one I read off your face."
"Ah."
I coughed awkwardly, embarrassed, while Kim Hyewon went on studying me with that steady, unreadable gaze of hers.
"So what happened?"
Could I actually talk to her about this? While I was still wrestling with the question, she glanced over at Chaeeun's empty desk and said,
"Is it about her not showing up today?"
"......"
"So it is."
She'd deduced the answer all on her own.
The more time I spent around her, the more I became convinced this girl could make a living as a detective. How does someone get to the correct answer using nothing but a person's facial expressions and a couple of scraps of evidence? Was this what they meant by high school girls being the apex predator?
"If it's weighing on you, tell me. I'll listen."
"...I'm fine. This is my problem to deal with."
"Mm."
Kim Hyewon shook her head.
"Sad things get lighter when you split them in half. I'm offering to listen, so it's fine to unload on me."
Could I really?
"Yeah. You've listened to me once already. Think of this as an extension of that."
"Then... should we move somewhere else?"
"Sure."
We left the classroom and relocated to a spot where no one was around. Sitting side by side on a bench, I told her everything that had happened the night before.
And then—
"...That's insane."
For the first time, I watched Kim Hyewon get angry.
"How can she say things like that to you?"
"......"
"Having a mouth doesn't mean you get to say whatever you want."
"......"
"She's not a decent person."
Kim Hyewon raged on my behalf as if it were her own fight. Watching her, I felt comforted — and touched — and honestly a little stunned. I'd never imagined the perpetually deadpan Kim Hyewon could get this worked up, and more than that, I couldn't understand why she was this angry over something that wasn't her business at all.
I was off somewhere lost in my own thoughts when she gave my arm a couple of light taps.
"Baek Seojun."
"...Yeah?"
And then, all at once—
"...?!"
Kim Hyewon pulled my head against her chest.
Soft, impossibly generous warmth wrapped around me like a blanket. Holding my head there, she stroked it gently and spoke.
"None of this is your fault."
I panicked and tried to pull away, but for some reason her voice seemed to pierce straight through to my ear.
"So don't be so hard on yourself."
My face, pressed into her chest, was burning red — but what kind of expression was she wearing right now?
"Every time things get hard, I'll be here to listen."
Somehow, the strength drained out of the body that had been trying to escape her arms.
"She's going to regret this. Guaranteed."
"...Why?"
"For letting go of a guy as good as you, Baek Seojun."
"...Me?"
I'm a good guy?
"Yeah. You're a good man, Seojun."
I opened my mouth to ask what on earth she meant by that — but something about the sheer certainty in her voice made me stop.
"So I'll make sure she regrets it. You have my word."
"Chaeeun... regretting it...?"
...Why?
No — wait.
More importantly, how would she even—?
Kim Hyewon stopped stroking my head and smiled, eyes curving into crescents.
"That's a secret."