Chapter 91
Chapter 91
"......The suicide note I showed you......"
It was definitely the young lady's.
Yang Hye-in had intended to say that, but she couldn't bring herself to speak the words.
The reason was simple. She could hardly believe it herself.
Come to think of it, Yang Hye-in knew almost nothing about Sara. She thought she had diligently attended her for the past three years, but she hadn't known that Sara was self-harming, that she was writing such a suicide note, or that she had somehow obtained sleeping pills without her knowledge.
She didn't even know that Sara had attempted suicide with them. Even though she had personally accompanied her to the hospital, she hadn't known at all.
And, at that hospital, it was she herself who pressured and chased away the doctor who reported child abuse and the police who came after receiving that report.
She had thought it was only natural.
Because she was a maid working for an enormous salary.
Was it really?
Was she truly cooperating simply because she was being paid?
No, it wasn't simply for the money.
It was because she herself was one of the perpetrators of that 'child abuse.' 'I was paid, so I had to do that much work...'—those were nothing but excuses. If the authorities began rounding up the criminals involved in Sara's child abuse, she would undoubtedly be dragged in too. So she had acted.
Before Sara's attitude changed, Yang Hye-in had never done anything for Sara's sake. She had simply lived, repeating assigned tasks every day for money.
How Sara studied, what hobbies she had, what thoughts she carried while living—
If asked to speak about any of that, Yang Hye-in couldn't answer. Because she genuinely didn't know.
Even though she had been by Sara's side for three whole years.
Her heart constricted.
"Truly, it was written by Sara?"
"......."
Yang Hye-in bit her lip. She wanted to say yes. She had, after all, found the suicide note in Sara's room. The number of people with authority to enter that room was very small; Yang Hye-in included. Strictly speaking, one could say that only Yang Hye-in and Sara had that authority. The Chairwoman did technically have authority, but she had almost never entered the room.
"Then, allow me to change my question."
Yu Ha-neul, who had been looking at Yang Hye-in expressionlessly, steadied her breath slightly and asked.
"Was this suicide note, by any chance...... written by you, Yang Hye-in?"
"......No, it was not."
At least to that question, she could answer immediately.
As for whether she was sincerely reflecting, deep in her heart, on the sins of those past three years, even Yang Hye-in couldn't answer that properly. In truth, she was leaning on the fact that Sara chose not to reproach her and let it pass.
She was afraid.
If Sara, if the young lady, began to hold her accountable for her sins, if she desired legal punishment......
Could she accept that with equanimity?
Probably not, she thought.
And so, she was simply, cowardly, holding her breath, yearning for that child's forgiveness.
Endlessly telling herself, 'I am acting for her sake.'
"......."
Yu Ha-neul looked at Yang Hye-in wordlessly for a while.
Neither of them had touched their coffee.
A moment of suffocating silence passed, and Yu Ha-neul let out a small sigh.
"Honestly, I can't take those words at face value and believe you."
It was an obvious statement. There had never been that much trust between Yang Hye-in and her. And it wasn't just Yu Ha-neul; all of Sara's close friends felt the same. Honestly, they should be thankful it ended with merely 'not believing her.' They had more than enough reason to suspect worse.
"But, I'll hear you out. At least, I don't get the feeling that you bear 'malice' toward Sara."
Depending on who heard it, that remark might seem too soft, but to Yang Hye-in right now, it was something to be grateful for.
Yang Hye-in retraced her memories. How had she concluded, upon seeing that suicide note, that it was written by Sara?
First, the suicide note came from Sara's room. The only people who could deliberately enter Sara's room and leave a suicide note were herself, the Chairwoman, and Sara herself.
Could the Chairwoman have secretly registered another person's fingerprint alongside Yang Hye-in's?
She wanted to say no, but......
She didn't know.
She truly knew nothing.
Because she had merely been carrying out the Chairwoman's orders like a machine.
"Ah."
Still, there was something she could recall.
That day, the desk drawer in Sara's room didn't hold just a suicide note and sleeping pills.
There was a thick notebook that appeared to belong to Sara.
"There was a notebook. It seemed to have been written by the young lady......"
"A notebook?"
At Yu Ha-neul's question, Yang Hye-in nodded.
"Yes, in the bottom compartment of the young lady's desk drawer, there is a notebook that was kept together with this suicide note. I'm certain the handwriting in that notebook was clearly the same as in this letter."
"......."
Yu Ha-neul fell into thought for a moment, then spoke.
"Is it certain that Sara wrote that notebook? If you think it is, could you tell me why?"
"......."
Yang Hye-in was certain that Sara had written that notebook. Even without knowing Sara's handwriting, without truly knowing Sara, what made her so certain upon seeing that notebook that Sara had written it?
There was only one reason.
"The writing in that notebook had no purpose."
"Purpose?"
"Yes, a purpose. Nothing suggested an intent to convey something to someone, or that it was written out of necessity. What was in that notebook was simply a story."
A story that seemed to have been created by Sara herself.
She hadn't read the whole thing. It was a longer story than she'd expected, and especially in the earlier pages, there were traces of endless revision—drawing X's over parts she disliked, erasing, and rewriting.
Yang Hye-in believed from the start that it was not a story meant to be shown to anyone.
It was just a story she wrote because she wanted to, a story she perhaps wrote down simply because she wished for it.
She had no intention of showing it to anyone, but for that very reason, it was a story crafted with even greater care.
Yang Hye-in judged that this was not something someone could deliberately forge.
"......."
Yu Ha-neul stared intently at Yang Hye-in for another long moment, as if trying to gauge the sincerity behind her words.
"......Alright."
And then, she nodded.
"But, if that's the case, a question still remains."
And then, she looked down at the borrowed notebook again. On it, sharp, jagged letters scattered wildly. Its impression was completely different from the seemingly refined yet rounded handwriting of the suicide note.
"......Sara is Sara, now as she was then."
"......."
"But, can handwriting really change this much?"
Neither of the two people present knew how to analyze handwriting. But even to the untrained eye, these two handwritings absolutely did not look as if written by the same person.
"That is......."
Yang Hye-in trailed off.
"Last time, you said you were certain Sara took that medication."
Yu Ha-neul raised her gaze and looked firmly at Yang Hye-in.
Yang Hye-in nodded. The day Sara screamed in the middle of the night, the day she was taken to the hospital and suspected of child abuse, if not specifically that day, she thought it must have been shortly before then, using that day as a benchmark. Either the incident occurred after taking the medication, or it happened after she failed to die from taking it. It had to be one or the other.
"......Don't you think, perhaps, that medication could have caused some sort of damage to the body?"
For instance, to the brain.
Yu Ha-neul didn't say it directly, but the intent of the question was so clearly visible that Yang Hye-in couldn't answer.
The doctor had clearly said everything was normal except for the external wounds. If the medication had been detected, or if there had been any sign of a brain abnormality, there would have been sufficient reason to keep Sara at the hospital. Yet, the doctor, unable to withstand the pressure, had sent Sara home.
......What if there really had been a problem?
What if there had been a problem, but her own actions had caused Sara to be sent home before any tests could be done?
And so, just perhaps, if a serious problem had occurred in Sara's head—
Was the Sara she had thought of as simply 'changed' up to now, really just 'changed'?
.......
"Is the current Sara the same Sara that you, Yang Hye-in, knew?"
At Yu Ha-neul's question, Yang Hye-in could truly say nothing.
⁎
......The Sara I knew might not actually be the real Sara.
Even on her way home after parting with Yang Hye-in, that thought weighed on Yu Ha-neul's chest.
The Sara who was the only one not to ignore her when she was isolated at school, who simply treated her as a friend.
The Sara who looked sharp but was somehow a bit scatterbrained, who thought deeply but was childish in the most random ways, who had lots of money but wasn't tied down by it—
That 'Sara' might not be the original 'Sara.'
"What should I do......?"
She muttered that reflexively.
She truly didn't know what to do.
No, did the current Sara even know about the original Sara? Was she aware of it?
Would she want to go back to the original?
If the current Sara thought she wanted to recover her past memories and become the original Sara......
Of course, she would help her. If that was what 'Sara' wanted.
But, if Sara really recovered her original memories, and became different from the Sara Yu Ha-neul remembered—
Then, could she continue to like Sara as she had until now?
Her light footsteps came to a halt.
She took a deep breath. The still slightly chilly night air filled her lungs, clearing her head a little.
She slapped both cheeks with her hands. Passersby glanced at her, but she paid them no mind.
Worrying doesn't suit her style at all.
"Yeah, what am I fretting about."
There is a person she likes.
If the person she likes wants something, helping them get it is the right thing to do.
As the person who likes them.
Isn't that all there is to it?
Yeah, no need to beat around the bush. No need to think about it in complicated ways.
Simply, whatever Sara wants. So that it can happen. Just let her help.
The first thing to do is probably to ask Sara directly.
Yu Ha-neul inhaled deeply once more, and then exhaled.
Her mind was settled.
The direction to run had been decided,
Now, only the running itself remained.