Chapter 75
Chapter 75
Sara laughs easily.
Well, of course, that doesn't mean she smiles at just anyone. Sara doesn't smile unless she thinks it's necessary. She rarely flashes a smile at someone she's not close to, and she certainly doesn't go around grinning at every random person.
Even so, Ha-neul thought Sara's laughter came too freely. Yu Ha-neul herself knew Sara didn't smile at everyone, and the smiles she gave other people usually weren't sincere. It was easy to recognize a fabricated sneer or a forced grin meant to provoke.
Ha-neul didn't pay much attention to those smiles.
But when Ye Sa-ra smiled sincerely, it was different.
Sara might not know it herself, but that smile with narrowed eyes was the kind of smile that could enchant even the fox that bewitches people.
Sara casually gave that smile to anyone who genuinely helped or liked her, or to people whose circumstances were similar to her own. At first, Ha-neul had thought she was the only one who could see it. When she realized it was just an ordinary smile Sara gave to ordinary people—
Well, she wasn't exactly shocked. She'd known all along. The smile Sara gave Ha-neul every morning had never looked like a deliberate one.
But still.
Still, Ha-neul thought, wouldn't it be better if she didn't smile at "everyone" like that?
It wasn't quite a "save those smiles just for me" level of feeling, but she still couldn't help getting jealous when Sara showed someone else that expression. Because at that moment, as Sara looked at someone else with that face, the person on the receiving end was momentarily more in her favor than Ha-neul was.
...Actually, it wasn't just the smile.
Sara was clearly a "charming" person by anyone's standards. Even setting her personality aside a little, her looks alone could easily captivate others. If Sara's personality hadn't been so innocent and naive, she probably could've stirred up the whole school just by seducing some of the boys and certain girls.
And when you factor in not just her looks but the capital behind her... they should be grateful Sara's personality wasn't terrible.
Yet, precisely because of that.
Because she was such a charming person, every genuine emotion Sara showed amplified that charm far too easily.
Pouting her lips, gaping blankly like she'd been caught off guard, glaring daggers at someone... Actually, the glaring could look a little scary depending on the intensity, but once you got to know the unexpectedly gap-riddled Sara, it was easy to realize that was mostly a misunderstanding.
Right now, for example—
"Uheh."
Ha-neul poked Sara in the side. As always, Sara let out a weird sound that didn't match her cool appearance.
"Wha, what is it...?"
Sara, who had probably unknowingly seduced a Disciplinary Committee Member during lunch.
Or had she known? Ha-neul didn't want to think Sara was that malicious, but honestly, she wasn't entirely sure. Even if it wasn't outright seduction, all those villain-like provocations Sara had aimed at the committee member were probably calculated in their own way.
Was she sharp or wasn't she?
Maybe because she'd lived her whole life in a cage, Sara had never properly learned to read human relationships. Ha-neul had certainly benefited from that in her own way.
But strangely enough, Sara's mind sometimes worked well in odd directions. Using her situation to its fullest to mess with everyone, or finding ways to utilize the image the media had carelessly spread about her.
Or effortlessly finding "someone to help her."
In a situation where everyone was completely ignoring her.
...In that sense, maybe to Sara, Ha-neul was just one of "those people."
...And whenever that thought crept in, it was chilling enough to make her bolt upright in a cold sweat, even from a dead sleep.
Yeah, she knew.
Friendships were like that sometimes. One side might think they were inseparable best friends, while the other thought of them as just one of many, many friends or acquaintances. Usually, they got along fine under that mutual misunderstanding, but the moment they discovered how the other actually viewed the relationship, an irreparable crack would form.
One would feel crushed by the burden of being liked too much.
The other would feel a crushing betrayal at an attitude that didn't match the depth of their affection.
...Ha-neul didn't want her and Sara's relationship to end up like that.
So, even now, she kept reining in her own heart.
But—
"Uheeh."
When Ha-neul poked Sara's side again, Sara let out that bizarre but adorable noise a second time. She heard someone nearby stifling a giggle.
Yeah, thinking about it did tick her off a little.
"Hey, Ha-neul. Did I do something wrong?"
"....."
After seeing that will, Ha-neul had spent the whole weekend agonizing over how to treat Sara. She couldn't keep taking emotional advantage of Sara's lack of common sense like she had been.
A rejection born of conscience.
The thought that you shouldn't exploit someone else's misfortune for your own gain.
...As if she hadn't been pretending not to notice this whole time.
A voice whispered in her heart.
She could've easily deduced it even without the will. A kid who'd grown up trapped in a cage without a single friend. She'd lived a life unhappy enough to know, even without being told outright that she wanted to die.
But Yu Ha-neul had been ignoring that fact until the person called Yang Hye-in showed her the suicide note Sara had written. She'd only managed to dredge up those conscientious thoughts after an absolute piece of evidence she couldn't ignore had surfaced.
So, in truth, Sara hadn't done a single thing wrong.
"...No."
Even this petty sulking right now was purely for her own mood's sake.
"It's nothing. I just... felt like it."
Ha-neul tried to say it offhandedly.
She wondered if voicing it might help her get a slightly clearer handle on her feelings.
Sara tilted her head to the side. Her eyebrows, which formed a pretty line, drew together slightly.
"...Yeah?"
A puzzled expression. A puzzled voice.
Ironic, because that attitude closely mirrored what was going on in Yu Ha-neul's own heart.
"But you know,"
Yu Ha-neul said, abruptly leaning closer.
"Don't you think you should at least have your textbook open, no matter what?"
Right. They were in the middle of class.
After Sara and Ha-neul had caused various scenes in the classroom several times, the teachers had apparently decided to simply ignore Ha-neul, too. If Ha-neul skipped school, it would still be marked as an absence, of course. But at least they didn't stop Ha-neul from talking to Sara during class. No, more accurately, they were trying hard not to notice.
Still, the way they kept sneaking glances this way suggested they couldn't completely ignore it.
What did people think our relationship was?
Judging by their attitudes, they seemed to consider it that kind of relationship. Actually, it wasn't just Ha-neul; Lee Su-a was the same, and the soccer club probably lumped So-hee in and thought of the whole group as something promiscuous. That was probably why they couldn't take their eyes off the two of them.
Though that they had their desks pushed together probably played a part, too.
"We're students, you know? We should study."
Sara mostly just dozed during class. Ha-neul figured that since she'd been treated like that since childhood, she might never have learned how to focus. Sara herself didn't seem too bothered by it, but Ha-neul couldn't help worrying just a little as a friend.
Maybe that action was colored by Ha-neul's own conviction that if you didn't study hard, you couldn't keep attending this school.
Even if it was something Sara might not understand.
"....."
Sara stared quietly at Ha-neul for a moment, then let out a deep sigh and flipped her textbook open to a random page. It was spotless, without a single mark written in it.
...Good.
Seeing that, a little flame kindled in a corner of Ha-neul's chest.
Did you know? Drawing public attention wasn't just about goofing off in class. The opposite, listening to the lesson incredibly diligently, worked, too.
If you got grades no one expected, wouldn't that catch people's eyes in its own way? More than anything, the school wouldn't be able to ignore you, either.
Of course, it wasn't something that could happen overnight. Sara, who'd probably coasted through middle school in this state, couldn't suddenly rank first on the first exam of the first semester just by studying.
But if they took the long view and worked at it, wouldn't they manage somehow?
"Hiheh."
Ha-neul poked the side of Sara, who had started nodding off again. She heard someone in the back row stifle a laugh at the sound, but Ha-neul ignored it.
"Let's study. Study."
In the end, unable to withstand Ha-neul's prodding, Sara picked up her pen.
*
As always, after class, they went to the gymnasium for physical training. Ha-neul couldn't quite decide whether it was fortunate or not, but Shin So-hee didn't show up.
She wasn't even visible while they were climbing over the wall.
"Did something happen...?"
Ha-neul privately considered her a rival, but a friend was still a friend. When you didn't see someone at the usual time and place, you couldn't help worrying.
"Ah, right. That makes sense."
But the words that came out of Sara's mouth were completely different from what Ha-neul had expected. As if she'd known beforehand that So-hee wouldn't come today, Sara nodded to herself.
"Oh, so..."
Seeing the looks on Ha-neul and Lee Su-a's faces, Sara hesitated for a moment. Like she wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject.
Sara's expression didn't look serious, so it didn't seem like something bad had happened. But that silence was still enough to stir up a vague sense of unease.
Did Sara knowing mean they'd met up alone over the weekend?
She didn't indulge in easy thoughts like "they're just friends hanging out, no need to worry." Shin So-hee had already boldly declared several times that she liked Sara. There was no way she'd meet Sara without ulterior motives.
"...You'll see when you come along."
After mulling it over for a long while, Sara finally gave that ambiguous answer.
Hearing that, Ha-neul couldn't help feeling even more anxious.