Chapter 158
Chapter 158
The hallway wasn't as quiet as I'd expected.
No students, of course. And no reason for faculty to be roaming the halls during class, so I didn't run into anyone.
But that doesn't mean class time at this school is quiet.
At the very top of this school's food chain have always been the students, the ones paying to be here.
And even their standing changed depending on how much money they had.
And that position, determined by money, could be shaken by money coming from outside the school.
Money.
Everything was because of money.
It wasn't just my school life. My entire life had been ruined by money.
People often imagine money as a thick stack of bills, but those with truly enormous wealth never need to see such stacks up close. To them, money isn't a physical object—it's numbers in accounts, stocks, and figures on real estate documents.
With a snap of the fingers, sums in the hundreds of millions move, the fate of a company is thrown into jeopardy, and a person's life can be destroyed.
I truly despise this concept called "money" that doesn't even retain a clear physical form anymore.
If only it weren't for money...
Well, if it weren't for money, I wouldn't have met Mother either.
.......
I arrived at the faculty office in no time, or maybe it just felt that way.
Standing in front of the door, I took a deep breath, then let it out heavily.
The pounding in my chest didn't calm down easily.
Knowing that Mother was beyond this door was terrifying and precious. Exciting and hateful.
Well, they say you can't distinguish the emotions that come with a racing heart.
I think I heard somewhere that the heart just beats physically; it's up to the person to layer emotions on top. That's probably why I always feel such a wide range of emotions whenever I see her.
.......
I wanted to call out to that person.
I wanted to receive help from the person hidden deep in my heart.
If that person had a body separate from mine, I might have even brought them here.
No, if that person had a body separate from mine, I wouldn't have even considered them my other half.
Seeing such contradictory thoughts keep rising speaks volumes about how fickle human emotions are.
"Hoo."
One last, truly final deep breath, and I placed my hand on the doorknob.
Click.
As I put my weight into it, the handle turned with a heavy sound.
The door swung open smoothly.
In a faculty office, Mother's face wasn't visible right away.
There wasn't a single teacher in the spacious office. There must have been some with no classes, but Mother likely offered them a "level of compensation they could understand."
No, she definitely did. Knowing the ecology of this school, there's no more effective method than money.
I turned my head and looked around the eerily quiet faculty office, like a place where everyone had simply vanished in an instant.
But no one was there.
.......
Then, at the far end of the room, I spotted a closed door.
It was labeled 'Teachers' Lounge.'
It was the only room within the faculty office you could go further into.
Having been completely tense until I opened the door, all the energy drained right out of me.
Since I'd already let the tension slip away once, it wasn't easy to get it back.
...Well, there's no need to be tense anyway.
It's better if I'm not.
Being this relaxed might actually make it easier to tell Mother what I think.
I walked over to the teachers' lounge,
and this time, I opened the door without a moment's hesitation.
*
An unknown floral scent hung in the air.
She must have been wearing perfume. Mother always did when she came to see me.
"Sara."
Mother was sitting facing the door. Seeing our eyes meet the moment I opened it, she must have been staring at it silently, waiting for me to arrive.
My heart raced.
But not enough to make me faint.
"Mother."
At my reply, Mother's face hardened for a brief moment. Was it because I didn't run up and throw myself into her arms like I always did?
Even I found my reaction surprising. Just yesterday, I had been purposely avoiding her, afraid I would lose my mind again at the sight of her.
...Ah, I see.
Up until last year, the only person I knew was "Mother."
At first, it was forced, but as time went on, I distanced myself from others willingly. Because of that, the only person I could hold a proper human conversation with was Mother.
She was the only person who made my life feel like a life.
...But that wasn't the case anymore.
There were already many people around me who cared about me.
People who didn't see me as a possession, who didn't approach me for my background or money, but who saw me for who I truly was and came to me.
Even if the start wasn't the true "me," those people eventually acknowledged even that "me" as their friend, as someone precious.
So, my life was already a life.
Even without Mother.
Even without Mother, who ruined my life.
That's probably why I was able to endure these pounding emotions.
Then, without a word, I walked over and sat down across from her.
Her deep blue eyes gazed at me intently. It felt like a look of judgment.
"It's been a while."
She said it as if greeting an old friend.
...It was always "a while."
Meeting her only four times a year, for barely 30 minutes at a stretch, meant I always met her after a long time had passed.
But there was no point in saying that.
"Yes, it has."
"......."
Mother stared at me for a moment, then slowly moved her hand.
She gently slid one of the teacups in front of her over to me. It was filled with black tea.
She must have brewed it herself.
I took the cup.
Watching her lift her cup and take a sip, I took a sip as well.
...The tea was somewhat bitter, perhaps brewed too strong.
"May I ask what brings you all the way to school?"
"Well..."
Mother parted her lips before briefly closing them again. She frowned slightly.
"...My daughter went missing from home. As her mother, it's my duty to come looking for you."
She probably thought her own words sounded strange as she said them.
"You never usually pay any attention to me."
"That can't be true."
The words came out instantly.
"Really? I had no idea."
"...Sweetheart, what's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"All of a sudden...?"
All of a sudden, she said.
Well, it made sense for her to think that way. Up until recently, I would rush over and nuzzle against her like a puppy that had been reunited with its owner every time I saw her.
No, maybe it wasn't just 'like' a puppy.
Given how she treated me, maybe that's exactly what I was.
I carefully set the teacup down on the table.
"It's not sudden. I've been thinking about this for a long time. About whether the person who is my mother is truly a 'mom' to me."
"But—"
"Up until now, you were never interested."
I repeated it, as if to drive the point home.
Mother swallowed her breath.
She seemed taken aback.
This was probably the first time in her life I had ever talked back to her like this.
When I was in elementary school, the only ones who dealt with my rebellion were the servants. Mother didn't start coming to see me again until I had nearly given up on everything.
"By seeing me just four times a year, there's no way you could know what I'm thinking."
My heart pounded.
It felt like it would burst.
But contrary to that, my mind was strangely calm.
These were words I had never dared to voice in front of her, but once I started letting them out, they flowed without stopping.
"How could you possibly know what I'm thinking, or how I've changed? Of course, all you can think is that I've suddenly changed."
What I think in January is naturally different from what I think in April.
If she were truly my 'mom,' she would have slowly noticed how I was falling apart. But this woman isn't like that.
A span of just 15 minutes is far too short for people to properly exchange feelings.
"...Sweetheart."
"Do you really think of me as your daughter?"
I had finally managed to voice the concern I'd been holding onto for so long.
"Isn't it really just about the money? Just because of the background that comes with me..."
But I had to stop myself mid-sentence.
The expression on Mother's face as she looked at me was strange.
I thought she'd finally start revealing her 'true colors,'
but instead, her face looked utterly wounded by each and every one of my words.
She didn't even try to hide her tears.
"I'm sorry."
"...Huh?"
"Mom is... truly so sorry..."
She said that as tears streamed down her face.
My heart kept pounding.
Painfully so.
"Huh...?"
My vision blurred.
Ah, this can't be happening.
"My daughter, Mom will make it all up to you now. I'm sorry."
I could see her getting up.
No.
Not now.
I tried to force myself up—
But my body, which had managed to rise halfway, collapsed back onto the sofa.
"Ugh... ah...?"
There was no strength in my arms.
No, it wasn't just my arms.
My legs, my back, my stomach—
I couldn't muster any strength at all.
I couldn't catch my breath.
"What... is this...?"
"It's okay. Everything will be okay now. You don't need to be afraid."
Before I knew it, she was sitting beside me on the sofa.
Beyond my dulled senses, I could faintly feel the touch of her hand.
Her leg slipped underneath my head.
I was now lying on my side, my head resting on her lap.
I couldn't resist.
No, this wasn't because of my emotions.
It was something more direct...
...
Ah.
The black tea from earlier.
The one that was more bitter than usual...
"It's okay. I'll make it all up to you. Mom..."
Her breath, her voice, reached my left ear.
"Because to Mom, money never mattered from the very start."
That was the last thing I heard.