Chapter 156
Chapter 156
Little by little, they began to come into view.
What was coming into view? I still couldn't say for certain. I was only just beginning to grasp the shape of it.
Up until now, I'd been deeply influenced by Sara.
You could even say the two of us had been blending together —and you wouldn't be wrong.
People learn, understand, and absorb a great deal through conversation with others, but my connection to Sara was far more direct than that.
From inside Sara, I could see firsthand what she thought, how she lived, what she experienced.
Most of what I could see was simply Sara's past —
......When you think about it, a person's memories are always and only the past.
No matter how short the span —an hour, thirty minutes, five minutes, one second, or even less —once a person absorbs it and holds it in memory, it becomes part of their past.
So, the task of reading Sara's memories —her thoughts —was surprisingly straightforward.
I just had to trace the past backward. Keep going back, endlessly, until I reached something as close to the present as possible.
That didn't make it easy. Navigating Sara's mind was difficult. Even though she'd lived less than twenty years, and even though her days were built on endless repetition, passing through all those memories —all the past buried beneath her subconscious —took a long time.
It was like walking into a library where every book had been shelved at random, pulling out a volume, and trying to track down the most recently published one.
But luckily, I had an enormous amount of time.
Whenever Sara was conscious, I was effectively asleep. And during all that sleeping time, I could keep going further and further back through her past.
Sara won't open up easily.
Inside her consciousness, where she's always been the original owner —I'm not sure I could win if she decided not to show me her thoughts.
......Sara had been acting a little suspicious lately.
I know it's strange for me to say that.
But —
"I'm back."
Sara, who'd been sitting beside me, spoke up suddenly.
She'd been talking to me and then went quiet, so I'd assumed morning must have arrived. Since she came right back, though, that didn't seem to be the case.
"I just went to drink some water."
It felt like she'd taken a bit too long for just water......
But looking at Sara's face, her eyes slightly narrowed as she gazed up at me, it didn't seem like a lie.
Right. It didn't seem like a lie.
But not lying doesn't mean she can't deceive me. Simply by choosing to leave something out, she can keep me —stuck here inside her consciousness —completely in the dark.
The daily life Sara described was so peaceful, so full of enjoyment.
But given the current circumstances, how was that even possible?
If everything really was peaceful and running smoothly, the way Sara said, then I was glad......
But there were police digging into her past, and officials concerned about her. Had any of them gone after Choi Na-kyung?
If they had, Choi Na-kyung would never sit still.
Could Sara really be living such an ordinary daily life in spite of all that?
"Hee-hee."
She said that and then nestled into my arms.
Even inside this consciousness, Sara's body felt warm. Of course, it wasn't a real physical sensation —it was more that both of us believed it was warm, and so it felt that way.
Not as delicate as the sensations of reality.
But I could still feel it —a sort of heavy, muted sensation, like sensing warmth from a short distance away.
Besides, at this point I was practically part of Sara's consciousness, so our senses seemed to overlap to a degree. When we held each other like this, that shared sensation grew closer even faster.
Maybe that was part of why Sara clung to me so desperately.
"......."
It was pitiful.
She'd never had anyone hold her like this. She'd never received this kind of attention in her entire life.
That had to be why she clung to me.
Without a word, I stroked Sara's hair.
"......."
Sara stayed in my arms, saying nothing.
Every time she came here, Sara used the phrase "I'm back."
It might just be something she said for my sake......
Or perhaps, rather than simply saying it, she truly believed this was where she was meant to be.
If that's the case.
"I want to stay here forever......."
Sara said it quietly.
"Everyone who gets into bed thinks about wanting to just keep sleeping."
When I answered like that, Sara lifted her head and looked up at me.
Seen from this close, Sara was incredibly cute.
She pouted her lips and spoke.
"You know that isn't why I'm saying this."
"......I guess I do."
Seeing Sara say that with such sincerity, I resolved that I absolutely had to catch up with her memories.
*
Choi Na-kyung didn't bite her nails.
She'd had the habit as a child, but she'd corrected it as she grew into an adult. If she gnawed at them with her teeth, she'd end up going around with unsightly nails for a while. And she knew all too well what kind of bad impression that made on other people.
Since becoming an adult, she'd never once bitten them.
Not even now.
She didn't adorn her nails.
There was a reason —one she couldn't explain to others.
If she grew them long and painted them, then later, when it truly mattered, she might hesitate to hurt someone. She might find she couldn't act freely.
She kept her nails trimmed. Always ready to stroke another person gently.
Certain parts of the human body were especially vulnerable, after all.
......Choi Na-kyung had always lived that way —always prepared to accept someone else.
But.
"......."
Right now, she was staring intently at those same nails of hers.
She wasn't thinking about wanting to bite them again.
She was simply thinking how satisfying it would be to drive them into the nape of the person sitting in front of her.
......She knew perfectly well it was an absurd fantasy.
"So, have you met with Sara?"
"......."
The person seated across from her was watching Choi Na-kyung intently as he spoke. She registered it in the corner of her vision but kept her gaze fixed downward, on her nails.
"If you're unable to answer, may I speak on your behalf?"
"What are you trying to say......?"
"Isn't Sara not at the mansion you arranged for her? Though it's more accurate to say that mansion is Sara's own property rather than something you provided."
"......."
"I'm aware the lights in that mansion were off for quite a long period. And that since then, light has shown continuously from only one room —a room that, I understand, is not Sara's."
Sara's room was situated deeper inside the mansion. The layout reflected Choi Na-kyung's desire to keep Sara hidden from outside view as much as possible.
"Nearly all of the servants at the mansion have been dismissed, and I'm told security has been contracted out to a private firm rather than being handled by the existing staff. The city is concerned. Even if that mansion is privately owned, it is also a Registered Cultural Property."
Even after all that, he didn't bother to wet his throat.
"You're remarkably well-informed."
Choi Na-kyung raised her eyes, her voice dripping with undisguised scorn, but he didn't so much as blink.
"We have our own methods of finding things out."
"This time, too, thanks to that anonymous tipster of yours?"
"That person's help played a part. And we've also managed to get in touch with a servant who remains at the mansion."
"......."
"What exactly happened between you and Sara?"
Was he probing despite already knowing?
......No, they didn't know. If they did, they'd have used it as leverage long before now.
Which meant these people were only feigning concern for Sara on the surface. They'd never shown the slightest interest in her before —and the moment a weakness appeared, look how they came swarming.
"Whatever happened between Sara and myself is a family matter."
"Then, if I were to bring Sara's real family, would you tell me?"
"......Real family? What are you talking about?"
For a split second, Choi Na-kyung nearly exploded, but she forced herself to ask it calmly. Getting angry at every little thing this man said was a bad idea.
"Since you are Sara's mother, we haven't raised the point until now."
The director adjusted his posture slightly as he spoke.
"But Sara has many relatives."
"And you're suggesting those relatives are closer to Sara than I am?"
"If it becomes necessary, there are plenty of people willing to take her in."
"......."
Choi Na-kyung glared at the director seated in front of her, but he simply absorbed her gaze without flinching.
"If you wish to assert that you are Sara's true family, then produce evidence that no one can refute. If you have proof we cannot deny, we will have no choice but to withdraw."
"......."
Crunch —the sound of Choi Na-kyung grinding her teeth.