Chapter 130
Chapter 130
"No—wait. Let go of me!"
'Sara' protested, but So-hee kept her locked in a tight embrace.
"I didn't know any of that...! I was just doing whatever I felt like..."
So-hee didn't seem to hear her.
'Sara' squirmed for a while, then stopped struggling when she felt something drip onto her face.
"..."
She lifted her head.
They were pressed too close for her to see So-hee's face properly. But she could feel So-hee's damp cheek against her own.
So-hee was crying.
"...You're crying?"
"..."
So-hee only sniffled, saying nothing.
Now that she thought about it, the hug felt a little different.
So-hee had been hugging 'Sara' regularly for a while now. Usually, her hugs were quick and tight, the kind where she'd squeeze hard once and let go, almost like a mom crushing her daughter in an embrace because she was too adorable to resist. Sometimes she held on a little longer, but she never clung like this.
Right now, strong as it was, So-hee's hold was gentle.
As if she truly wanted to hold her like this.
As if she had to.
"..."
Ironically, receiving that hug stirred something in 'Sara.'
Her mother.
Not the hugs she got from her mother these days.
It brought back something far more distant.
The embrace of her mom from long ago, the one who used to smile softly and wrap her arms around her, as if that was simply what mothers did.
A hug she hadn't properly experienced since she was nine years old.
"...Ah."
As soon as she reached that thought, 'Sara' snapped back to her senses.
"W-wait. Hold on—hold on! Not yet! I can't go back yet! If I go back now for nothing, who knows what I'll have to cook up next time to shock me out again!"
She hurriedly shook off the way her mind was slipping into past memories and thrashed in So-hee's arms.
She didn't really know whether this memory would cause the Sara sleeping inside her to surface. This wasn't that person's memory, after all.
But if Ha-neul's actions so far had felt like a way of dragging her out from deep within her subconscious, then this felt like something that was gently pushing her consciousness away, into the far reaches of old memories.
That made it dangerous.
'Sara' made that judgment on instinct.
"O-okay."
When 'Sara' started seriously struggling, So-hee flinched and loosened her arms.
'Sara' quickly scooted aside and sat on the edge of the bed, then said:
"You. No hugging for the next three days."
"...Huh?"
An invisible boulder came crashing down on So-hee's head. The tears hadn't even dried on her cheeks, so she looked utterly pitiful.
...Was three days too harsh?
"...Not three days. Just for today."
'Sara' amended.
"..."
Silence settled over the room again.
The mood was nothing like the talk of life and death from moments ago.
"That action just now—was it also capable of switching your consciousness?"
Ha-neul asked.
"I-I'm not sure."
'Sara' stammered a little in her surprise.
"But it's dangerous. That hug just now was dangerous. My instincts are telling me that."
The explanation was a mess.
Still, no one in this room was in a position to dismiss the claim. 'Sara' was the only one who could feel it.
...If she were being honest, she was simply too embarrassed to admit how much that hug reminded her of her mother's embrace from so long ago.
Moments ago, she had been the one commanding the room, speaking as if she could casually throw her own life away.
She'd meant it when she thought she'd "given up on everything." That was why she couldn't quite understand how that one hug had dragged her back into her past—into something from that far back.
"You said you switch consciousness. What does what just happened have to do with that? Is it about making physical contact with someone?"
"..."
At Su-a's question, 'Sara's' expression went blank for a second.
"N-no, it's not!"
She shouted, a little defensively.
Ha-neul, who'd been listening, turned red.
Because Ha-neul was exactly the person she'd been "making physical contact" with.
"I don't know if there are other methods, but at least the one we've found is about recalling 'that personality's most intense memory.' And just recalling it isn't enough. You need to recreate it through an action so vivid, with the person connected to that memory, that the memory comes rushing back. So, it's a kind of shock therapy."
"Then how did 'your' intense memory end up being about rubbing up against Ha-neul?"
So-hee's question.
Her voice was still a little watery, but she had at least wiped her face clean. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, but 'Sara' pretended not to notice and answered.
"...Because the most intense memory she had over here was the time she got on top of her."
"...Ah."
So-hee nodded as if she understood right away.
That's right. So-hee had watched from the side when 'Sara' climbed on top of Ha-neul. They'd told her back then that it was to help "bring her memories back." Thanks to that, the scene was easy for So-hee to recall.
"Then what about just now?"
"I-I don't know, okay?"
She had a pretty good guess, actually, but she didn't want to talk about it yet.
If she was going to tell anyone, she'd rather talk it over with that person first.
So 'Sara' deflected again.
"...By the way,"
An odd feeling came over her, and 'Sara' looked at So-hee.
"Why don't you treat me any differently? I'm telling you I'm not the 'Sara' you know."
"But you're still 'Sara.'"
"What...?"
So-hee smiled brightly at her.
"Whoever you are, the you I'm with, to me, you're 'Sara.' No matter what you were in the past, whatever you plan to do in the future, or how the person who was at my side feels about me. To me, you're always 'Sara.' 'Sara' is the person I like, so any 'Sara' is someone I like."
So-hee sat down closer to her. Sara edged a little farther toward the corner of the bed to keep some distance, but this time So-hee didn't pull her in for a hug.
She simply took 'Sara's' hand.
"You said you know I like you, right?"
"No, I said the person you like isn't me."
'Sara' protested, flustered, but So-hee just smiled.
"Doesn't matter."
She shook her head lightly.
"You're the person I like, so I'm just going to keep on liking you."
And then she beamed.
Skin a shade darker, like she'd gotten a tan. Black roots slowly reclaiming her bleached hair, left to grow out as if dyeing it again was too much trouble. A shirt left unbuttoned except when she was working or absolutely needed it closed.
But the smile was so pure it blew away that whole image in an instant.
"...Uh, ah, heh."
'Sara' couldn't find her words.
Obviously, So-hee's confession wasn't going to change who 'Sara' liked. And these words probably wouldn't reach the person sleeping deep inside her consciousness, either.
So why did hearing them make her feel this light?
Why did it make her chest tickle and her face flush so warmly?
...Ah. She thought she knew.
Because So-hee said she liked her.
She, who'd never had anyone who cared about her that way, was told someone liked her just as she was.
She was told she was liked regardless of what form she took.
So-hee probably meant "more than a friend," but "more than a friend" also meant "at least as precious as a friend."
That was why 'Sara' felt it once more.
I'm not alone.
"...I see."
In the end, that was all 'Sara' could say.
"You don't have to answer me right now. Actually, you don't even have to answer at all. Just don't tell me to stop liking you."
"..."
'Sara' nodded.
She couldn't bring herself to say anything harsh to someone who smiled while saying things like that.
In her memories, So-hee had always been so rough and straightforward.
Maybe that was exactly why. Maybe being that straightforward made her this honest.
"Ah, no you don't."
'Sara' slapped at the hand that was stealthily creeping up to hug her again.
"Don't think you can catch me off guard."
So-hee lowered her hand with a sulky look, but it came off a little cute.
"..."
Uh, wait. What were we talking about a second ago?