Chapter 111
Chapter 111
Still, it was fortunate that tracing that person's movements wasn't difficult.
Or perhaps I should call it a misfortune.
Because it meant that everywhere they went, someone had followed along.
After ending up in the hospital, they apparently hadn't shown anything particularly unusual.
Unusual, that is, by ordinary standards. In terms of health, injuries, or strange habits.
But there was one clear change.
Their personality.
"I got angry at my fiancé?"
"Yes, that is correct."
Yang Hye-in told me the story.
It must have been quite a scene. Yang Hye-in remembered it in vivid detail. I had finished my meal before him by eating diligently, and he called me a 'pig.' Then 'I' snapped back at him curtly and walked out of the restaurant.
......It wasn't something I would have done.
Thanks to the remnants that person left behind while in my body, I could talk with others like this, but originally, I'd hardly opened my mouth in front of anyone except Mother.
I was especially weak against people who were hostile to me. I'd never had the chance to talk with others, and the only person who did talk to me, Mother, at least treated me outwardly as if she loved me.
My fiancé was the second person I ever spoke with, but he was endlessly hostile toward me.
Whenever I met him, I was always timid and frightened.
......I sometimes wondered why Mother had engaged me to someone like that, but I was never able to reach a proper conclusion.
And yet that version of me had defied him directly and stormed out.
"Right, and at school, that guy even apologized to you."
Hearing Yu Ha-neul say that was even more astonishing. Was he the sort of person capable of apologizing? When he always acted as if everything he did was unquestionably right?
......Ah, I see.
So that's how it was.
He was someone I truly had no reason to be afraid of. The person who'd been inside my body back then had been certain of that.
"......."
Had I really 'lost my memory'? If you assume that person acted knowing all about my fiancé, wouldn't it be more correct to think they actually had their memories?
It wasn't just the story about my fiancé. Every future that person looked toward while acting; it was as if everything had been prepared in advance. As if they knew beforehand exactly how to act, and how to act so that I could be happy.
Like a Santa Claus who arrives with a bundle full of gifts and sets it right down in front of me.
No, maybe.
Maybe—
—My heart beat a little faster.
A person whose face I don't know...... no, I do know their face. They used my body, so their face must be the same as mine. Whether they were me with lost memories, or a version of me whose personality had simply changed. The truth is, we can't even hold hands. I don't even know if we could exist as separate individuals if we actually met.
But even so.
Even so, I really want to meet them.
I want to meet that person who could have stayed in my body and enjoyed that life as it was, but chose to hand it back to me.
Because they were the first person I'd ever met in my life who was wholly on my side.
Because they were someone who wished for my complete happiness, without any other conditions.
With my hand pressed gently against my thumping heart, I made that wish.
*
"It's here."
Shin So-hee spoke confidently.
We were standing in front of a shabby little shop in a residential alleyway. It was quiet, even though it was the weekend. Not just the street, but the shop in front of us too.
The shop sign read Tteokbokki in big letters.
It was a food I'd never tried before. I'd seen it served occasionally in the school cafeteria, but I usually got full just from the main menu. I had little interest in food, so I tended to eat only the things I normally ate.
I'd heard people describe the taste. It was a dish that came up often in the stories the kids nearby shared at school. It seemed less like a meal and more like a snack you ate with your friends on the way home.
No, more than that, I'd never once in my life come to a restaurant with friends like this. And I'd never visited a restaurant so cramped and run-down.
I took a few steps toward the shop front.
A rich aroma drifted from the door.
It wasn't a bad smell. It was slightly sweet, yet at the same time, a hint of spiciness seemed to hang in the air.
Since I rarely ate anything stimulating, I found even that smell fascinating. Along with the faint scent of oil and something like braised fish mingled between.
"Alright, alright, let's go in."
Shin So-hee nudged my back gently.
Pushed along, I shuffled awkwardly into the restaurant. There was no waiter to greet us with a polite bow. There wasn't even a menu on the table. A faded menu was stuck on the wall, but Shin So-hee didn't even glance at it, just raised her hand and said,
"Five servings of Tteokbokki, please!"
The old lady who seemed to be the owner, who had just been staring blankly at the five of us as we walked in, slowly got to her feet only then.
*
I haven't eaten much spicy food.
It would be a lie to say I've never eaten it, but if you asked whether I enjoy that kind of food, that was also a no.
In the first place, the food at the mansion was mostly Western-style, with no particular reason to be spicy. Breakfast was usually bread, and lunch and dinner were often salad and steak.
I'm not sure why the menu turned out that way...... but perhaps the foods I loved as a child simply solidified into the routine. Well, I'd never once specifically asked to eat anything else.
In that sense, if you ask how the food Shin So-hee introduced felt to me,
Well, it was interesting.
It was delicious. It was delicious, but still a bit interesting. Because the texture differed in so many ways from the foods I normally ate. Though of course, that's probably inevitable given the absurdly low price.
I may not have a firm grasp of money, but I know the food I normally eat is more expensive than average. Naturally, it must be priced incomparably to this Tteokbokki.
The preparation looked simple. Not a sauce made by blending and aging various ingredients, but a simple, stimulating taste that seemed to come from tossing a few whole ingredients right in.
But...it was delicious.
Still, though it was a fairly memorable and tasty dish, it wasn't so good that I'd call it a delicacy and make a fuss about it being the best food ever.
It wasn't.
But somehow, even though it was my first time eating this dish, it made me feel nostalgic.
As if I'd eaten it a very long time ago.
Was this another feeling left behind by that person?
This emotion I could sense faintly from somewhere beyond my heart was definitely nostalgia. Not nostalgia from a mere three months. It was a yearning for something from a much deeper place—no, from much 'longer ago.'
"How is it? Is it good?"
Shin So-hee asked as I sat chewing with the fork in my mouth. Her expression looked like she was dying to hear the answer.
I nodded slightly.
"Right?"
Shin So-hee answered with a beaming smile.
"Come to think of it, we kept saying we'd come again, and now we finally made it. Though, I guess when I was in school this was on the way home, but now it's gotten a bit out of the way."
Ah, I see.
That person must have liked this food too.
No, maybe rather than just liking it, it was a food they'd enjoyed all along.
My heart gave a small flutter.
I lowered my fork and jabbed a boiled egg. Then I turned it sideways and split the egg cleanly in half with the side of the fork.
The inside of the egg, now split top from bottom, was a stark contrast to the outside coated in Tteokbokki sauce. I could see the pure white egg white and yellow yolk, completely untouched by the sauce. The color grew clearer and more yellow toward the center. If they'd cooked it just a tiny bit less, the yolk might have run right out like a sunny-side-up egg.
I rolled the egg and set the cut side into the Tteokbokki sauce to mix it around. The dry, fully-cooked part of the yolk crumbled a little and blended into the sauce. When I speared it with my fork, the egg was coated clearly in Tteokbokki sauce right up to the cut surface.
Nobody taught me to do it that way. I just somehow felt like I was supposed to do this.
Did that person feel the same way when they saw Mother inside my body?
Did they feel those intense emotions I remembered, just as raw and powerful?
Thinking of that made me feel a little embarrassed.
On the other hand, the emotions I was feeling were never that big.
Small, ordinary happiness and joys that seeped through the cracks of everyday life.
None of them were intense enough to change a life all on their own, but they were small, sticky memories that, simply by existing, could make ending a life feel regrettable.
Ah, yes. So that's how it is.
I put another piece of rice cake in my mouth. And I savored the nostalgia I felt on my tongue.
The people around me were eating in silence too. Yu Ha-neul and Lee Su-a, Shin So-hee, and even Yang Hye-in.
The fact that my fear of other people could be diluted is also thanks to this person. The one who approached me without fear, who didn't ignore me and tried to climb over that wall.
These were the things that person left behind.
Even though I've never spoken with them, I felt like I could somehow understand what kind of person they were.
*
Thanks to that, I felt like I could figure out the method for certain.
Maybe taking the medicine would be the surest way. Just as my memories returned through meeting Mother, maybe that person's consciousness could return if they were confronted with the most intense memory they experienced in my body.
But if it went wrong, it might fail outright.
Because if I assume that person entered my body after my heart stopped, it's uncertain that my body could revive again if my heart stopped this time.
More than anything, I'd already caused that person terrible pain through that method.
And despite that, they gave their all to offer me this life as a gift.
......If that's the case, shouldn't I also bring that person back with a slightly gentler method?