40. We went to the carnival (2)
40. We went to the carnival (2)
The tall, sharply pointed spire and the gondolas slowly rotating beside it like a giant waterwheel were exactly as Baek-seol remembered them.
"Is this where you wanted to come for our trip?"
"Yeah. Is it not good?"
"Ah, no. I'm just surprised."
Baek-seol shrugged her shoulders and followed the huge sign pointing to the amusement park alongside So-jeong.
"Why did you suddenly want to come here?"
"Um... it's, it's a secret."
Though So-jeong answered while slightly avoiding eye contact, by now Baek-seol could somewhat read her intentions.
'Does she have something special she wants to say?'
So-jeong had chosen the amusement park as their first travel destination, the place where they had taken their first trip together. The fact that she specifically brought Baek-seol back to such a meaningful place likely meant she had an important decision to make.
'What a coincidence.'
Baek-seol herself had been hiding their shared past from So-jeong and had decided to confess her feelings for her today. Maybe So-jeong had similar thoughts.
"Wow. This place hasn't changed since then."
Whether she knew Baek-seol's feelings or not, So-jeong looked around cheerfully as she spoke.
As it was the time of year when the sunlight was growing stronger, So-jeong was wearing a pure white dress and a wide-brimmed hat to protect her skin. As they walked along the path lined with tall trees, every time she turned her body, the sunlight filtering through the leaves shattered like waves on her snow-white dress, illuminating her face.
"...Yeah."
She's pretty. Baek-seol repeated those words in her heart.
She's pretty. The simple phrase grew richer the more she savored it, and soon the word "pretty" became synonymous with So-jeong within Baek-seol.
Her steps almost halted from the overwhelming beauty of it all. But Baek-seol diligently moved her legs, not wanting to miss the joy of walking side by side with So-jeong.
Rustle, rustle. The sound of stepping on the grass tickled her ears.
She decided to postpone worrying about the nerve-wracking confession time for later.
Right now, she wanted to cherish her time with her.
Every time she saw her smile, this overflowing feeling in her heart—she just wanted to cherish it.
***
"Baek-seol, here."
So-jeong bought two Free Passes at the entrance and handed one to Baek-seol. Each wearing a Free Pass on their wrist, the two immediately entered the amusement park.
Inside, a completely different, utterly novel landscape unfolded as if they had stepped into another world. A floor painted with colorful patterns, buildings with Western designs you might see in Europe, and the cheerful parade music echoing throughout the entire park.
"Huhu, it's been so long since I've been to an amusement park. No, is this the first time since then?"
"Probably."
Though it was a Friday during the time when most universities were finishing finals, perhaps because they had come right after finishing their morning exams, the park wasn't very crowded.
There weren't enough people to be inconvenient for enjoying the rides, but it wasn't so empty as to feel desolate either. Just the right number of people gathered in small groups, embarking on adventures in this new world, each finding their own joy.
"Shall we go quickly? What do you want to ride first, Baek-seol?"
"I..."
As they walked, tracing memories from years ago, So-jeong suddenly stopped and pointed to a shop near the entrance.
"Ah, Baek-seol, should we buy that?"
"Huh?"
The place So-jeong's finger was pointing was a shop selling various animal-shaped headbands and balloons.
"Um..."
Baek-seol frowned slightly and trailed off.
She thought such cute headbands didn't suit her. Maybe if So-jeong wore one.
But before Baek-seol could say anything, So-jeong was already grabbing her hand and pulling her into the shop.
"Which one is good?"
So-jeong carefully examined the headbands densely displayed on the counter, then picked up two, paid for them, and approached Baek-seol.
"Baek-seol, want to try this on?"
"I don't really..."
"Aww, come on. Just try it once. Okay?"
Ultimately unable to resist So-jeong's urging, Baek-seol reluctantly put on the black cat ear headband So-jeong handed her.
So-jeong looked at Baek-seol wearing the headband for a moment, then broke into a smile brighter than the sunflowers blooming in the flowerbed.
"Yeah. Pretty."
"......"
Baek-seol's face flushed slightly at the sight, and she averted her eyes. Meanwhile, So-jeong looked at herself in the mirror provided by the shop and put on a headband with folded ears like a puppy.
"Should I try one too? Hmm... How do I look, Baek-seol?"
Hearing her name called, Baek-seol turned to look at So-jeong. She stared at her for a moment, seemingly frozen, then nodded her head very slightly, just enough for So-jeong to barely see.
"Pretty."
"Hehe, thanks."
Animal ear headbands... maybe they weren't so bad after all.
Thinking that, Baek-seol exited the shop with So-jeong.
***
As lunchtime approached, So-jeong and Baek-seol decided to enjoy one short ride and then eat at a restaurant inside the amusement park.
"I want to try something we didn't get to ride last time."
So-jeong unfolded the map and pamphlet they got at the entrance and intently examined the various attractions.
"Hmm... Waterslide? How about this, Baek-seol? Ah, but my clothes are thin, maybe I shouldn't get splashed."
"It's okay. If water splashes, I'll block it for you."
"Ahaha, hearing that makes me feel reassured. Then shall we start here? The weather is good today too."
Folding the pamphlet and putting it in her bag, So-jeong started walking. Baek-seol watched her from slightly behind and followed.
Perhaps excited about being at the amusement park, So-jeong was more lively than usual.
Suddenly, Baek-seol saw So-jeong's current energetic figure overlapping with how she looked when Baek-seol first brought her here.
That day, So-jeong had suddenly not come to school. Baek-seol first went to find the bitches who had been bullying So-jeong until she transferred to this school.
"G-gack! I-it wasn't us! We haven't touched her since that day!"
A girl, grabbed by the collar and slammed against the wall by Baek-seol, shouted. Her gang just watched Baek-seol with terrified expressions, gauging her mood.
Even after her words, Baek-seol glared at them as if she would kill them and asked again.
"Then why didn't So-jeong come to school today?"
There was no reason to believe them in the first place.
If she hadn't transferred to this school because of her father's business, and if she hadn't coincidentally met So-jeong there, these people would have calmly continued to bully and torment So-jeong.
How kind So-jeong was. That kind So-jeong, who stopped her from giving up everything and jumping off the bridge on that rainy day, was living a hellish life day by day because of these worthless bitches.
She had already made sure they could never lay a finger on So-jeong again, but just remembering that made it hard for Baek-seol to resist the urge to tear apart these trembling beasts in front of her.
"What trick are you pulling?"
"No, goddammit, it's not us!"
Perhaps sensing killing intent in Baek-seol's eyes, one of them shouted urgently.
"Check the call logs or whatever! Fuck... what do we gain by messing with her when you're here?!"
"...Whether I'm here or not, you shouldn't be messing with So-jeong."
Baek-seol pulled the girl whose collar she held closer and growled.
"If you mess with her, I'll definitely find out. And if you get caught by me again... it won't end with just a warning like last time. Understood?"
"Okay! Okay, so let go...!"
As the girl's face turned blue, seemingly suffocating, Baek-seol released her as if throwing away trash.
The girl's gang hurriedly picked up the girl who slumped to the floor. They glared daggers at Baek-seol but couldn't say anything and slowly disappeared down the hallway.
"......"
Baek-seol irritably swept her hair back and took out her phone.
She had already called and texted numerous times, but no reply had come from So-jeong.
"Where on earth are you...?"
Just as she crumpled her face in a different kind of anguish and muttered desperately—
Bzzzt—
A vibration sounded, and So-jeong's name appeared on the screen.
Baek-seol answered the call instantly and shouted urgently.
"So-jeong, So-jeong? Where are you? Are you okay?"
A brief silence flowed from the other end of the phone.
"...Sniff."
When So-jeong's choked sob was heard, Baek-seol felt her heart turn to stone.
"So-jeong."
Baek-seol called her name desperately.
"What's wrong?"
"Sniff, Baek-seol... *sob*."
"Where are you now? I'll come there."
Sniffling, So-jeong slowly told her where she was. Baek-seol left school immediately without even gathering her things.
"Huff, huff..."
So-jeong was on a bench in a park not far from school. Wearing her uniform, she sat staring into empty space as if her soul had left her body.
"So-jeong."
At Baek-seol's voice, So-jeong's empty eyes slowly looked up at her.
"Baek-seol..."
"Are you okay?"
"Sorry, Baek-seol. You came all the way here because of me... but you were the only person I could think to contact. I'm sorry..."
"Don't worry about me."
Baek-seol approached So-jeong and crouched down in front of her. Up close, tear stains were clearly visible on So-jeong's face.
"...What happened?"
So-jeong took a moment to collect herself, as if trying to calm her heart, and spoke in a choked voice.
"Mom... Mom said she can't stand seeing me because I remind her of Dad."
"What?"
"She said she can't stand it because I remind her of Dad. So she told me... to bring Dad back... that it would have been better if I had disappeared instead of Dad..."
"......"
Her heart felt constricted. Baek-seol felt utterly powerless.
As if she no longer had the strength to cry aloud, silent tears streamed down and fell on So-jeong's wrist. On her pitiful wrist, the marks of someone gripping her tightly remained as bluish bruises. Baek-seol hated herself for not being able to erase them.
Why won't the world just leave her alone?
Keeping the school trash from reaching So-jeong wasn't difficult. But family matters... were outside the realm of what Baek-seol, still just a student, could handle.
What could she do? How could she comfort So-jeong?
Why the amusement park commercial she'd briefly seen on TV suddenly came to mind then, even Baek-seol herself didn't quite understand.
Maybe she wanted to give So-jeong some kind of happy experience. Or maybe she just wanted to grab her hand and run away from this world.
She didn't know if this was really the right way to comfort her. Baek-seol wasn't someone accustomed to understanding other people's feelings in the first place.
She just felt that if she stayed still, doing nothing, her heart would burst from the suffocating feeling.
"So-jeong."
Baek-seol slowly took So-jeong's hand. Worried that her hand, which had been roughly treated, might hurt, she was extremely careful, as if cradling a feather.
"So-jeong, let's... go on a trip together?"
"...A trip?"
"Yeah. Just, just... to forget everything, even for a little while."
"......"
So-jeong looked into Baek-seol's eyes for a moment, then nodded and gently squeezed Baek-seol's hand back with a bit of strength.
"Okay."
Emerging from the memory of the past, Baek-seol sighed inwardly.
'We were all so clumsy back then.'
Despite having never been to an amusement park herself, despite not knowing how to smile brightly herself, that day she had wandered this vast park with So-jeong, trying desperately to comfort her.
And unlike then, now So-jeong was strolling through the same place with such light steps.
"Baek-seol, look over there. I can see the waterslide."
And she was smiling like that at her.
Baek-seol was grateful for that fact. She hoped So-jeong could keep smiling like that.
"...Yeah. I'll be right there."
Baek-seol went to So-jeong's side and walked alongside her.
She didn't hold her hand, but she matched her stride and walked together.