Drunken Confessions and Unintended Witnesses
The wine was poured, emptied, and poured again. Throughout the process, she kept talking, and he listened in silence.
"...When I first joined the company, I saw you sitting alone on the stairs near the main entrance. You looked so lonely... I found out later that it was because a project you were working on at the time had gone wrong... you seemed to be struggling a lot."
"The senior I knew... you had amazing grades in school, you were great with people... you were always diligent, bright, and kind to me... you were that kind of person, so it broke my heart to see you so discouraged over just one failure. ...I think that was the first time I ever felt my heart ache just from watching someone else suffer."
"You were an executive in a different department... and since you were on such a high floor, I couldn't just go see you... this is a company, after all. A place where you work when you arrive and go home when you leave. I couldn't just hang around your lecture hall like in college and pretend to meet you by coincidence. And I couldn't just strike up a conversation... because of our ranks."
He drank his wine, occasionally spooning up his soup, listening to her story. He asked the server who came by to pace the food slowly.
"So I thought, one day, if I get more recognition and get promoted to become a secretary, I must... I absolutely must become your secretary. I thought I should work harder so you wouldn't have to struggle like that... I thought about that a lot. That’s why when I first became your secretary, I didn't care about learning the tasks; instead, I was incredibly interested in what you were doing... things like that."
"Before I became your secretary, I was disappointed because I thought I couldn't be one since you’re a man and I’m a woman, but it happened somehow... so I really wanted to work hard. Just like you taught me... I wanted to be someone who could be of help to you... I still worry if I’m not good enough, honestly."
At first, they drank their wine separately, but then she asked for a toast, and later, he was the one to extend his glass first, the clear sound of crystal ringing through the air. This time, he held his glass, brought it to hers for one more toast, and drank.
"You know, I wanted to catch every single one of those news reporters, tie them up with ropes, and drag them in front of you. I hated the people who were blindly trying to tear down the senior I respected, liked, and thought was so cool so much that I would submit requests for corrections myself after work."
"....The fact that it decreased a bit is thanks to you..."
"Well, the company probably handled it internally too, but I think I wrote close to 150 letters myself. Not that it mattered much since I didn't have time and had to copy-paste a bit... but I didn't want to show off about it. Maybe because I learned from watching you..."
"..."
"At first, you said what I told you to say, but the part about going because the ocean was polluted... and saying it was unfortunate... that was your sincerity, right? Maybe because I learned that kind of personality from you, I didn't want to show off what I accomplished either. Even though everyone around me was clapping, in my head... just like now."
"I keep wanting to do better... I want to do more than that... I have those thoughts a lot."
He didn't pay attention to the growing wine bill. He really intended to pay, but more than that, he was curious about what his secretary was thinking, what the only junior he had ever personally tutored was thinking.
"And you know what I said at the drinking party? That I’d earn more money so I wouldn't take my husband's money... I meant that, too. I really want to do that."
Eunbyul continued the conversation, recalling the drinking party.
"I won't tie my husband down, either. Whatever work the person who becomes my husband does, I’ll always support him... and if I can help, I’ll even drop my own work to help him. I think I’d be like that."
Then the steak arrived, and they ate. They moved on to lighter topics. While he thought there was some truth to what she had said sincerely, he remarked,
"So, to summarize, you did it because I looked pathetic as hell."
"Oh, don't be like that. That hurts my feelings."
"What, like? Charity born out of pity?"
"Oh, really. Who puts this much effort into charity?"
"Hmm."
After the meal, he tried to hand his card to the owner, who kept refusing to take the money, but when he pulled out cash and threw it down to leave, he watched the owner rush over to stuff it into his inner pocket.
"This is a corporate card, so it doesn't hurt me even if you charge it."
"...But the company belongs to you, Mr. Suhyun?"
"Haha, I’m just a salaryman..."
As they left after paying, he felt like he understood why the owner acted that way. Having heard from the owner that his family lived in the West Sea Five Islands region, he realized the owner had nearly suffered indirect damages, and he could understand why he was so proactive.
Feeling a bit tipsy, he took a cigarette from his inner pocket, put it in his mouth, and headed to the smoking room. She followed him inside immediately.
"You didn't use to smoke."
"...Well, life happens."
"Is that because of your ex-wife, too?"
"...."
He didn't say anything, as she seemed to have a point.
"I guessed right."
"...You must be happy, Secretary Eun."
"You know what-"
He thought the smell of cigarettes wouldn't be good for her, but she didn't care and continued what she wanted to say.
"...Actually, the reason I keep helping you like this is,"
"..."
"I want the person who is the coolest to me, the person I like, to always be able to shine."
"..."
"That’s why I’m the one illuminating you. So that you... can always be a person who shines."
"I guess I’m just that kind of person."
"..."
"A person who is more welcome than my own parents just to look at, who I like, whose presence makes my heart flutter... a person who makes me imagine all sorts of things. I wanted to help that kind of person, and I thought about how I wanted to see that kind of person walk with their shoulders held high because of my help..."
He just smoked his cigarette, saying nothing.
"Pity or sympathy, those might be there, but..."
"I think I’m like this because I like you too much... seriously, too much."
"I can go later. Let me take you to your place first, Director."
"Should I have the car wait?"
"No. It’s late, and the driver has worked hard too. Please, get some rest."
"Haha, thank you. It’s funny how you say things so similar to the Director, Secretary."
She, who had said she hated being called 'Madam', had told him just a short while ago in the smoking area that she liked him a lot. He looked at her with a bitter smile and told her to go home.
Once in the backseat, he looked a bit drunk—no, he looked quite drunk. When the car reached the apartment complex, she helped him up, pulled him out saying they had arrived, and supported him into the house. When asked for the door code, he fumbled for his phone,
"...1120"
"You could get robbed if you use four digits like that. Up you go."
As they entered the house, their voices echoed, and she dragged him to what looked like the master bedroom and threw him onto the bed. As she sat down on a nearby chair, catching her breath, he shifted his waist, uncomfortable with his position. Eventually, unable to watch any longer, she slowly approached the bed to unbutton his dress shirt, but,
"...Hey, who told you you could touch me?"
He opened his eyes and grabbed her wrist.
Hearing a woman's voice from outside the room, Seo Jia, who was about to open the door and leave, closed it slightly and held her breath. Then, as the noise from the master bedroom subsided, she grew worried and curious about what was happening, so she opened the door slightly,
"Ugh, no, don't, what are you doing...!"
"You’ve always done it."
A deep, low voice he never used normally. Even though she was the one who should have been receiving his caresses while hearing that voice, a completely different woman was currently straddling his lap, struggling and asking to be let go.
She, who had collapsed to her knees on the floor, watched with her own two eyes as her ex-husband held another woman. Realizing she was in no position to stop him, that she was a being who couldn't even express anger, she covered her mouth and swallowed her tears.
Eunbyul tried to move her hands to restrain him, but after being thoroughly kissed, her cheeks were flushed, showing an expression that someone being raped shouldn't be able to show. As she tried to unbutton his shirt, her own blouse buttons came undone from the top, and he skillfully wrapped one arm around her waist, leaving a deep hickey on her upper chest.
"Haa, ugh... w-wait a minute, Director..."
"What do you mean, wait a minute? Seo Jia."
"I’m, ugh, Eunbyul, okay? Ah, this... this is strange, really..."
He was even calling her by another woman's name—his ex-wife's—perceiving her as his ex-wife while caressing her, but what did that matter? Even if she was being used as a substitute, Eunbyul’s wish was to be held by the man she loved. As she was being caressed on his lap, she turned her head during a brief moment to catch her breath and saw Seo Jia secretly watching the scene,
"....?"
"...."
Eunbyul, whose face was clearly full of embarrassment, soon slowly revealed a smile at the corners of her mouth. Then, turning her head back to look down at him,
"...Senior, you keep a cat at home, don't you...?"