You Idiots... You Know Nothing...
"Clearly, this, this divorce... Ugh."
Jeongwon quickly clamped his hand over Hoyeon's mouth. Suhyun, looking at her as she smiled brightly, turned his back and cursed under his breath with his expression. Why the hell did you come out when I told you not to? Where do you think you are, you crazy—
"I thought I should serve lunch since you have guests, so I apologize if I interrupted your comfortable time."
His friends felt something was off hearing her changed tone. Was the wife's way of speaking always like this...?
"I'll prepare it quickly for you. You must be hungry, so quickly..."
Because they had never even heard her use the phrase "you must be hungry," both friends started glaring at him simultaneously.
Without letting the sound reach the kitchen, they mouthed their words:
He shook his head and whispered for them to act natural. The two of them started racking their brains, agonizing over this strange and bizarre situation. How did things end up like this?
Usually, when guests came over, she would wear formal attire and never take it off. She believed she couldn't wear comfortable clothes in front of guests. That was why she usually left quickly when guests arrived; those clothes were too stifling for her to wear for long. It was like a women's semi-formal suit. But now, she wasn't wearing anything like that at all. She was wearing a cool-looking white t-shirt and dolphin shorts. The exposure was excessive. It was an awkward situation where the person involved didn't care, but everyone else started to.
However, even in this situation, there was something only he and she knew. Those dolphin shorts were worn so they could be easily pulled down and fucked at any moment, and that t-shirt was the kind where the inside was easily visible if it got even a little wet. In other words, she was signaling to him, right in front of his friends, that she was happy to be fucked whenever he wanted. Oh, and the fact that she wasn't wearing panties was something only the two of them knew.
"What is this..."
"Co...i...... ts...?"
The food came out as a feast once again, and the two friends looked at the table with expressions that asked what on earth this was. While they bowed politely, sat down, and started eating after saying they would enjoy the meal two or three times, he sat there sweating bullets, glaring at her.
'Don't sit on my lap, you fucking bitch, please, I beg you. Anything you want...'
As he thought that, she looked at him for a long time, then smiled brightly.
"Please enjoy your meal comfortably with your friends, Master."
As she disappeared into the room, she whispered "Master" softly and quickly went inside. He almost fainted, but fortunately, his friends were too absorbed in the food to hear.
"Wait, the wife made all this? This? For real?"
"Does this make sense? Didn't you order it?"
"I don't know... just shut up and eat..."
While his friends, who no longer cared how this happened, were busy moving their chopsticks, saying even a hotel wouldn't serve food like this, he felt her gaze occasionally glancing at his bowl as she walked from the room toward the laundry area. Then she would look at his two friends' bowls too. Even if she thought she was hiding that gaze, he could see it. Whether the master was eating a lot, or if the friends were eating more. That must have been what she was thinking. That was why she was watching.
If she watched for a while and judged that they were pig friends who ate more than their master, reaching her limit, she would say:
"...I want to kill them, Master."
"If I stab their necks with a sharp knife... and pull it out, the blood will gush out..."
Or,
"It's my duty to do what you would do, Master."
"Tell me what you want to eat, and I'll bring it and feed it to you. Please accept my service happily, Master♡"
Seriously, fuck, it completely ruins my appetite... So he grabbed whatever food — anything with lots of seasoning — and started mixing it in his bowl.
"She made such good food, why are you picking at it like that? You're making the bowl dirty."
"...A desperate struggle to survive."
"...? What are you talking about?"
"You sound like a light novel protagonist delivering lines."
He let out a deep sigh, looked happily at the bowl he had diligently mixed, and popped a poor piece of fried food stuck on his chopstick into his mouth.
"You guys... know nothing... you sons of bitches..."
Seeing her singing a pleasant song again while doing the dishes in the kitchen, the two friends were aghast and looked at him, asking what the hell this situation was. After pushing his chest with their hands and entering the game room,
"Hey, explain what the hell is going on first."
"Did you eat something wrong?"
"..."
He had nothing to say. He couldn't exactly tell his close friends, "No, that crazy bitch Seo Jia broke into my house, started servicing me orally, then climbed on top and we had fucking sex, and I couldn't help it so we did it 5 times all night, and ever since then she's been acting like this! If a broken woman like that gets kicked out of the house, she's ready to pull a suicide show with a kitchen knife in front of the door, so would you be able to kick her out if you were me? Huh? Fuck, if I don't suck on those cow-like giant breasts, she'll definitely kill everyone and herself, so it was an unavoidable choice to survive!"
So he let that long excuse pass with a single sigh.
"...That's how it happened."
"That's not something that can just 'happen', man!"
"Did you... corrupt her into a bitch?"
Hoyeon seemed to be hitting the mark, but if he openly said yes, they would definitely ask more, so he told them to just play the game. The sound of planes flying filled the room, and because they started playing Battlegrounds, the sound of gunfire could be heard outside the room. Still, he couldn't concentrate on the game. Even in the moment of a kill-shot with an enemy in front of his eyes, he was...
"...Do you not have eyes?"
"I guess so..."
He was focusing his senses on the sound of her footsteps moving around in the kitchen. He couldn't concentrate on the game at all, thinking about how much time it would take for that crazy woman to suddenly enter the room with a knife and kill the three of them.
"I have to go out, wait..."
Leaving Hoyeon and Jeongwon behind, he went out of the room. He was going to tell her to go out for a while, but she was carefully wiping each bowl with yesterday's tissue, and at the sound of him coming out, she stopped what she was doing, turned around, and slowly approached him.
Fuck, I'm screwed. This is definitely a precursor to her bitching about the noise.
"Mas..ter."
I'm really screwed. Is she going to hit me? No, even when we divorced, she didn't hit me, but—
"I'm glad you seem to be living happily. I'm satisfied if you're happy, Master. Master... I'm so glad. I was smiling in the room the whole time, thinking that inviting your friends is a good thing for you."
Haa......... Seriously, seriously.... My lifespan just shortened by ten years... No, twenty years.... Or maybe it increased....
He cleared his throat and spoke in a low voice so it wouldn't be heard in the friends' room.
"Yeah. It's the only time the master gets to relieve stress. I told you not to come out..."
"I couldn't help it, Master. I thought you might be hungry..."
"Something like that is not for a lowly thing like you to worry about."
She smiled brightly. He thought it was fortunate and briefly scolded her.
"Still, I couldn't help it... It's been so long since your mealtime, and if I, a bitch slave, cannot fulfill my only duty..."
"...Whew, alright. I ate lunch well.... From now on, show loyalty to me by choosing the right time and place. If you blabber whatever comes to mind at any time, the indecency will be immeasurable."
Perhaps because he had practiced, he started speaking with dignity.
"Of course, Master. Since it's your command, I must follow."
"Right. Of course."
"I will always make sure not to be a nuisance."
"Of course you should. That's the only way you can live in this house."
He nodded repeatedly, wondering why she was saying the right things for once, and responded positively. It seemed like the fact that he allowed her to stay in the house was already a given. She kept saying things that were pleasant to hear, and he didn't stop nodding, closed his eyes, and thought it was truly fortunate. It wouldn't do to kill his friends.
"Also, I feel so sorry for trying to insult your dear friends... I think I did something I shouldn't have dared to do. ...Though there was someone else who deserved to be killed."
"Right. Of course. Because they are my precious friends."
Yeah. Jeongwon and Hoyeon, and everyone else, they are all my precious friends.
"That snobbish whore Eun Byeol, who shamelessly confessed her love to you, Master, while you were in a relationship with me."
"That's right. A normal person could never do such a thing. Even a female without education like you can say the right things sometimes."
Yeah, yeah. That's how it should... wait, what? Who? How? Huh?