The Properly Corrected Ex-Wife
She had been sleeping soundly, curled up on the bed, when her eyes suddenly snapped open. As he lay beside her, thinking, "What the hell, again?" she immediately knelt on the bed, asked if he’d slept comfortably, and then left the room in the nude. She bypassed the master bathroom, opting for the one closer to the front door for a quick shower, before heading into the kitchen to don an apron and begin cooking.
"I didn't say I was hungry..."
"Even if you don't say it, Master, I must be perceptive enough to serve you dinner."
"...Fine, do as you please..."
He didn't know who that dinner was really for. He had looked forward to her home-cooked meals so much in the past, but now, sitting at the table felt like tasting a Last Supper every single time. The table was laden with food that not even a Joseon king would have eaten, and look at this horny little bitch, "perceptively" climbing onto his lap to pick up the utensils and feed him one bite at a time. He ate with trepidation, thinking, If I don't give her what she wants, she'll probably stab me with that knife. After eating about half, he spoke up.
"I'm done. No more."
"Ah... yes, Master. By any chance..."
Why again? Just eat it. You're hungry. Now I'm going to eat "perceptively" too.
"Is it because my cooking isn't to your liking? Then, as expected, Master, you must... ♡"
...Ugh, stop adding hearts wherever you want. You fucking bitch...
"Instead of food like this, you must want to eat... your bitch Jia's used pussy... ♡"
The blood drained from his face.
"Th-that's not it... You need to eat too, and I'm already full,"
"Master...! You are being so... so considerate of lowly me..."
....? Are you crying? You? Why are you bowing your head like that? Were you that hungry? You ate ramen earlier...
"Hic... ♥"
Wait, you fucking bitch, don't fill in the heart color—
"You've been so considerate, I can't express my gratitude in words... ♥ I, I will just... serve you diligently... ♥"
I'm not going to give it to you anymore. You crazy bitch...!
— She finished the meal and began doing the dishes. Before the divorce, when she occasionally did the dishes, she would just pile them haphazardly into the dishwasher, run the machine, and leave them to air-dry without even wiping off the water. Because of that, there were water spots, unremoved grease, and the traces of dish soap that used to make him want to explode. That was the lonely life of a husband who had to endure all of that. But now, it was different. She put the right amount of detergent in the dishwasher, and for some reason, she hummed a ballad while putting the finished laundry into the dryer. She, who used to switch to "quick dry" because she said electricity was expensive and she didn't have time, now thought, "Master's precious clothes... there shouldn't be a single drop of moisture." She set the dryer for three hours, and when the dishwasher finished, she took the dishes out one by one without making a sound, then wiped them clean again with a sponge. She pulled tissues from a box labeled "Eco-friendly, No Harmful Substances"—he didn't know where she’d ordered them from—wiped the water off the dishes, and put them in the upper drawer. She clasped her hands together and smiled brightly, seemingly happy to have done something she was proud of. To anyone watching, she looked incredibly beautiful, but...
"Let's not think like that, Suhyun. You're divorced. That woman is a parasite in this house. You've been hurt enough, so don't be fooled by something like this. There's no cure for a bite from a gold digger. Be careful, be extra careful."
While he was pouring all his energy into mind control, she, oblivious or perhaps just blissfully intoxicated by her own happiness, cleaned the table even more meticulously. She sprayed the table with an alcohol-based cleaner and wiped it several times with a tissue without making a single squeaking sound. Then, as she was about to wipe the chair he had been sitting on,
"Hmmmm... *sniff*, *inhale*, *sniff sniff*... Haa ♡"
Ugh, holy shit, that gives me the creeps...
Then, the happy expression vanished, replaced by a look of cool, lingering regret. It was the face of a maid who was forced to clean a chair stained with her master's scent against her will. She even pouted her lower lip. But that only lasted a moment.
"Ah, that's right..."
She brought over a basket piled with clothes from somewhere. He stared at it, wondering what it was, and when she caught him looking while she was struggling to carry the basket, she said,
"Ah... th-this is, um... I was worried that if I washed the clothes Master personally wears together with my own bitch-scented garments... Master might find it unpleasant..."
Wow... you're doing laundry twice a day? You, Seo Jia? Really? As he watched her with that expression, she checked his reaction, bowed, and shoved the clothes into the washing machine. She used very little detergent and didn't even put in any fabric softener. She must think even that is too wasteful to use on herself. Unable to watch, he slowly approached.
"Ah! Yes, Master... is there something you need to instruct me to do...?"
"Hey. You bought that because you liked it, didn't you? Why aren't you using it?"
"How could I, on my clothes..."
He looked down at her as she shook her head vigorously, then said,
"I will make a special exception, considering your circumstances, and permit you to use a small cup of that fabric softener."
"What?! Ah, ah... M-Master... thank you... how can I ever repay this grace, ah... ♡"
I really, truly don't know what I'm doing right now. Seriously.
The king granted a special permit to the court lady, and the court lady knelt on the floor to show her gratitude. He felt a chill run down his own spine and went to the master bedroom. The damp sheets and duvet had been replaced with fresh, fluffy ones. How on earth does she do that so quickly?
"God dammit... a slutty bitch ruined everything. How did this happen in just one day..."
But it wasn't entirely her fault. He had originally decided that if he were to take another wife, he would definitely bring in a woman with an M-tendency. That was why he had planned to torment her thoroughly. He was sure he would be happy to come home and would even leave work early sometimes. He thought that was the only way to become a complete wife-lover. But the situation changed when she underwent a reverse transformation. The "common-sense-modified" Seo Jia had become a bitch with an M-tendency who looked delicious to him, and he had reached out and eaten the forbidden fruit, unable to suppress his desires. And not just one bite—how many bites has it been now? He felt like he had eaten three or four already. 'That's right. Anyone, not just me, would have no choice but to accept this situation.' Could a man with this natural tendency suppress his desires after seeing the "female corruption" of the only woman he had ever loved in his life? The frequency with which he reached for that fruit was increasing, the fruit was always sweet, and it was a situation where he had nothing to lose. On top of that, he even felt like giving 1% of the company's shares to that web novel author she mentioned. How on earth did they turn a woman into such a slut through writing? Are they an alchemist of language or something? Of course, he said this because he didn't know that "the novel" had a setting where the woman was the dominant one. If he had known, he would have mobilized all his resources to throw the author in prison, and every time she clung to him, he would have finished the deed and then slapped her across the cheek with a spatula. He would have wanted to beat the author who ruined his wife and caused his divorce with a wooden club.
"Honestly, it's fucking convenient... even if it is exhausting..."
Her appearance, which was like a scene from hell, was enough to make the word "convenient" come out of his mouth. She became a chef who cooked meals when he woke up, a head maid who climbed onto his lap to feed him so he wouldn't have to eat himself, and a housekeeper who cleaned the house when the time came. And at night...
"Master's thing, I love it so much when I do it with my mouth... because it's being recorded ♥"
"Ugh, this fucking bitch, the shock is still vivid."
No, let's leave out the "night" part. We did it during the day today... and we did it during the day... and it looks like we'll do it at night too...
Just then,
A KakaoTalk message from someone named [Jeongwon]. It was from a friend. That fund manager friend from before. The friend who liked DCS World. Sure enough, the friend who used to shout about having a lonely glass of soju outside was now asking:
I wish he wouldn't come. No. I'll just put Seo Jia in the room and tell her "STOP!" and not to come out. Yeah. Then I can play. She didn't just hate him playing games at home; she hated it if there was any noise at all. Even though she was the one who made the most noise herself.
"Think about the feelings of someone who's been listening to noise all day. Why don't you have any consideration for the person you live with?"
The person he lived with—just thinking about it left a bitter taste in his mouth. She was the kind of person who wouldn't even call herself his wife. But wouldn't it be possible with the common-sense-modified Seo Jia? Let me ask her once...
"Master."
"...Hiiik!!! Hey, wh-what. Why, why are you blocking..."
"Is that important?"
Her tone turned cold.
"Who is this person... calling me 'ex'-wife?"
"Ah... that stock guy. ...I thought he was a good person. He's trash."
"...Trying to disturb the time between Master and me..."
"...How dare he."
No, what do you mean "time between you and me"? This is just my time? You should go do your own work properly...
"I did all my work. A while ago. Everything."
"To bring a person like that into the house... it's disgusting just to imagine it."
That's the original Seo Jia's tone. What is this?
"It's annoying, who does he think he is... to my lovely Master... notifying him that he's going to play games..."
"....I want to kill him, Master."
Whoa, that's too far. Th—
"In the novel I read, they kill people too, Master. If you just stick a sharp knife into this... part here, just a little, and pull it out again, blood gushes out... the description was so filthy. Then they collapse and die within seconds."
"I can dispose of it well so that no traces are left, Master. The novel taught me a way that won't even show up in a luminol reaction."
This feels like a warning to me too, wait. What do you stick where... Ah! Right. Yeah. That method.
"If Master permits, I will execute it immediately..."
"Wait. Our bitch is crossing the line again...?"
She looked at him with a cold expression, then quickly changed her eyes and expression to a beaming smile. Still, he said,
"Who are you to insult Master's precious friend, right now?"
"I, I'm sorry... ♡"
"Who are you. It's none of your business who Master brings home."
"That's right... I am, I am bitch Jia... Master's diligent slave..."
"That's right. So there's no problem with bringing a friend, is there? Master works hard outside and wants to relieve some stress with his best friend on the weekend. Does a used-cunt bitch like you think you can stop me?"
Her eyes welled up with tears, and she trembled her lips. She looked like she would burst into loud sobs if he touched her.
"N-no... ♡ Y-you can bring him... I will serve Master's best friend well... ♡ and Master's love... ♡"
He sighed deeply, hesitated, and then fired the final shot.
"You thought well. Only by pleasing Master like that will our Jia get the chance to become Master's broodmare and repay her debt. Depending on how you do, I'm even willing to... shoot Master's sacred sperm chunks directly... into our bitch's pussy."
"Master, heeeung... ♥ I, what do I do... ♥ Already... my pussy, my pussy is so wet... ♥ that even a liner is useless... ♥"
It worked out, but am I the only one who feels like it didn't work out at all?