Starting Over (33)
"Instead, condoms are... mandatory, okay? You have to..."
Hmm, don't people usually skip that when they're selling their bodies? Do they? Maybe they do, or maybe they don't? I have no idea.
"...Are you not doing it because I'm ugly? You're not saying anything, it's annoying..."
Usually, the more he drank, the more violent and foul-mouthed he became. But Min Suyeon was the opposite; the more she drank, the softer her personality became. Her cursing gradually decreased, and though her voice remained high-pitched, the decibels seemed to drop lower and lower. As her tone softened, she continued,
"Even so, my breasts are big, aren't they? Men... they like big breasts, don't they?"
Her touch seemed to grow gentler, too. And yet, just a while ago, she’d acted like she’d rather die than have a man’s skin touch hers... hadn't she called it disgusting?
"I don't think I'm on the ugly side..."
"Then hurry up and do it..."
"..."
"I don't know, I've really never done anything like this before..."
Their conversation had been filled with profanity. Min Suyeon had even threatened him quite violently with a knife, debating whether to just kill him or not. But she was human, too, and she knew. She knew she was currently trying to force her body onto him. And she knew he was flustered.
But—
"You must have done it before. So hurry up and..."
The thought of selling her body to him wasn't just about money. At first, she’d viewed him as a strange psychopath who had barged into her dry, monotonous life. Later, she’d received help from that psychopath, realized he was the first person to actually listen to her story, and today, she’d been treated to a meal at the skyscraper steakhouse she’d always wanted to visit.
And while doing so—
"Damn it, are you not going to do it? Why aren't you saying anything, why...!"
Material things? Even those needed an excuse. Having lived in bone-deep poverty, she’d thought about finding someone through open chats or various messaging apps, but every time she did, people would say:
The amounts were ridiculous for paying off her debt, and the mere thought of spreading her legs for men who were roughly twice her age made her feel like her heart was being shredded to pieces. But right in front of her now was—
"Please calm down, Ms. Min Suyeon? As I always say, I'm not interested in anything other than work..."
What a hypocritical bastard.
"If I'm not on the ugly side, then hurry up and do it... I'm embarrassed too, so—"
"..."
The most hypocritical bastard she’d ever met. He possessed every trait she hated. A Korean man, a wealthy conglomerate heir, and the way he kept waving his hands, saying he had no intention of doing this. It made her want to vomit. Wasn't that why he brought her here? He even mentioned there was a hotel here.
"...It's true, you know. If I’d just listened to you, we would have gone to the hotel..."
"It's difficult for me to book a hotel here."
"That... the clothing trial voucher..."
"...I have one, but it's a bit... difficult to use it for something like this..."
The problem with the clothing trial voucher was that it recorded where and how much was spent, along with the exact time. And the person who could see that was his father. That was why getting caught going to a hotel for no reason would be... a bad thing.
"Then do it here. Are you playing word games with me right now?"
"..."
But her feelings toward him were gradually changing. He’d seemed so solid, like a wall she couldn't break through, but in reality, once you pierced that wall, you became an easy woman. She knew she was an easy woman. And—
"...I have no regrets either. So, do it right now... right here..."
It wasn't just that. For the first time since her twenty-sixth birthday, she felt like she wanted to live. The thought that if she lived a little longer, if she didn't die, such special things could happen to her, too. As she’d said, material things were important, but there was something more important than that.
Until now, Min Suyeon had been treated with contempt wherever she went. She was ignored for studying pure science, ignored for being poor, and ignored for wearing shabby clothes. People around her, thinking she was someone who couldn't communicate well, avoided her, and the more they did, the more she made it a habit to raise her voice.
"..."
But this man was different. He was the first to try to listen to her story, and he praised the value of everything she had studied and researched, treating her like a great person. Even though he knew better than anyone that her family was poor, he didn't try to look down on her with money. Clothes? He didn't judge other people's clothes. He had never once mentioned clothes during their conversations.
No matter how much she shouted or cursed, he would just smile and endure it all, repeating his request for her to join GPL. Even when she held a knife to him, he only urged her to put it away; he never ran away or tried to fight back.
'He's hypocritical... such a hypocritical bastard!'
Her mind kept labeling him as a hypocritical bastard, a pathetic and immature parachute heir from a conglomerate family who thought money could solve everything. But at some point, even when she tried to keep thinking that, she found she could no longer continue those thoughts in her head.
'He's a hypocritical bastard... a dirty Korean man...'
Normally, she would have maximized her hostility toward him by listing various thoughts, starting with [A hypocritical and dirty Korean man with a small penis, a show-off who only knows how to look down on others, a crazy bastard trying to buy a woman with money—]. But now, at best, after the thought of "that Korean bastard," it became difficult to bring other insults to mind.
It was because he treated her too well.
"Haa... haa..."
No one had ever treated her this well. She didn't know how much the steak cost, but it was delicious. To be honest, she wanted to eat it every day. She never knew beer could taste this good. It had always just been a way to fill her stomach, tasting like bitter barley, but drinking it with meat made her so happy she could cry. And that potato ball that looked like it came from a snack bar in front of her school? It... it melted in her mouth so much she wondered if they made Korean beef out of potatoes. And the most important thing:
"Ms. Min Suyeon, if you feel like you're going to throw up, I have a bag right here..."
"...Shut up..."
Even though she had failed, the fact that he—who had overcome everything and, from what she heard, had even received a medal for a great rescue operation—was sitting right in front of her. Even in a suit that didn't look expensive, he carried an air of nobility, and until she brought up her ex-boyfriend, he spoke with the elegant, dignified language he’d claimed to have. Using high-class words didn't mean you had class. It was about someone who maintained their own flow regardless of what the other person said. Someone who didn't get swayed and kept their balance no matter what insults they heard. That was the man sitting in front of her, who seemed even more massive the more they talked, despite being the same age.
If he had treated her to a meal of this caliber, or even while he was getting rid of the gas station or the loan shark, he could have shown off at least once. If he had even said, "I paid off that much money for you, so buy me some meat," she might have pulled out her own card. But he had already taken care of the bill, and when she asked what he was doing, she had no choice but to get back in the elevator with a dazed expression. Even though she had yelled at him after hearing about her ex-boyfriend, and even though she felt like dying of embarrassment, she had intended to pay if he said anything. But he had said,
"By any chance..."
"Wh-what!"
"...Did you want to get it to go?"
"To go...?"
"You were standing at the counter."
That's what he said. So she replied,
"Hey, seriously... if you're going to do it, hurry up... I'm nervous too, damn it..."
It didn't seem like something a woman selling her body should say, but that was her true heart. Material things were one thing, but the excuse. She finally had that excuse.
"I have no regrets, I told you I wouldn't regret it!"
She grabbed his thick, long hand tightly and placed it near her chest. H-cup was a truly useful breast size, because even if you placed his limp hand on them, it wouldn't easily fall off. So, with his hand resting on her chest—
"...They said you have to be gentle at first, really... I've never done this before, I swear..."
"Ms. Min Suyeon, I..."
"Because nobody likes me..."
"Maybe big breasts look dull, so I thought you'd do it slowly..."
I don't think that's why they didn't like you.
"And I'm tall for a woman... so men would hate that..."
No, I don't think your height is the problem. So, please...
"...Damn it, it's frustrating. Hey, are you not going to take me? Why are you just sitting there? Hurry up and touch my breasts...! Men like breasts, damn it, it's so embarrassing, stop—!"
I'm already being squeezed dry at home, so I don't really want this—
"You son of a bitch, how much more pathetic do I have to get... ...Money, damn it..."
Seeing her spit on the floor of his expensive car, he widened his eyes and tried to stop Min Suyeon's behavior, which was crossing the line. But then, Min Suyeon, who had grabbed his shoulders tightly with both hands, began to speak—
"Then don't give me the money..."
"...?"
"Just... I'm offering... so do it... If money is the problem, I won't take it..."
The two of them locked eyes. Unlike his eyes, which were filled with bewilderment, the anger and hostility that had filled her eyes from some point on had already vanished, and she realized that only a piercing loneliness remained in their place.
"...Money... I don't care if I don't take it..."