Shaken Resolve
"Stop...!" Alice cried out.
I could only stare at her with my eyes wide open. It was a reaction that completely defied my expectations.
Before carrying this out, I had predicted it. That things probably wouldn't go the way I wanted. No matter what I said, I thought the odds of drawing a positive response from Alice were slim.
Yet the reaction Alice showed now went far beyond anything I had anticipated. It wasn't that I hadn't expected her to shout. I figured such a response was entirely possible. What I had predicted, however, was a cry filled with rage or irritation. Instead, Alice's shout now felt closer to a plea, almost an entreaty.
Her expression, her voice—they were trembling. Yes. She was shaken. More violently than I had ever seen before.
I had to admit it. Alice was shaken. By this situation. And by the words the man had spoken.
The words Kyle Berwen had laid out were ones the old her would never have bothered listening to. If anyone else had said them, she would have scoffed and brushed them aside. But the Alice standing here now could not do that. She was clearly shaken.
Why? Why was she shaken? Why would she be moved by such ridiculous words?
The current Alice knew the reason perfectly well. Because the man resembled him. Because he resembled Gunter.
When exactly had she noticed? After hearing those words from him? Or during that previous exchange of questions and answers? ...No. In truth, it had been from the very beginning.
When Alice first heard that Julia and Lana were keeping some unknown scoundrel close and paying him attention, she had flown into a rage. The moment she arrived at the Academy, she had gone straight to find the person responsible.
Her anger at the time had not been mild. If the man before her turned out to be as pathetic as she expected—if he was nothing more than a fool harboring empty desires—she had even resolved to dispose of him on the spot.
Yet when she actually faced Kyle, Alice left after issuing only a warning. It was an absurdly light response compared to the fury she had carried.
That was when she felt it. In his eyes. In his expression. The presence of Gunter.
She didn't understand why she sensed it. Her instincts had simply recognized it.
Of course, the Alice of that time refused to accept it. She ignored the cry of her instincts. But she could not completely suppress the aftershocks.
When Rita brought the man along under the pretext of him serving as a guide, she had said it wasn't like her. And she had been right.
Ever since arriving at the Academy, Alice had not been herself. Giving the man nothing but a warning and walking away, eventually accepting the man Rita brought with her, even agreeing to Rita's absurd proposal—half threat though it was—to let him serve as an assistant priest. Every single one of those actions was unlike her.
Originally, even if she didn't kill him, she would have made him taste real heat. Threat from Rita or not, she would never have tolerated a situation she disliked.
From that moment. From the instant she met the man, she had already been shaken.
She had been acting and showing sides of herself that were not like her at all.
The reason was clear. She had felt Gunter in him. She simply hadn't wanted to admit it. She couldn't admit it. So she had forced herself to look away.
But at some point, even she could no longer deny it. The fact that she was shaken.
That was why she had decided to leave the Academy sooner than planned. If she stayed here any longer, if she remained by the man's side, she feared she would only unravel further.
That decision, too, was unlike her. To run away instead of confronting the problem—if anyone who truly knew her heard it, they would never believe it.
Yet she had no choice. She could not remain like this, but neither did she have the confidence to eliminate the man.
So Alice chose to leave the Academy of her own will. To distance herself from the man. To reclaim her original self.
She had intended to depart with the firm resolution that she would never see him again.
But the man had appeared before her eyes like this. And once again, he was shaking her. With eyes that reminded her of Gunter. With words that summoned him back.
"Stop it...!!" she cried again. Her voice trembled, sounding almost like a wail.
She didn't want to be shaken any longer. She could not allow it. Absolutely not.
In the beginning, when Alice first learned of the man—when she heard that Julia and Lana had let someone get close—she had been furious. But that fury had not been directed solely at him.
She had also been angry at Julia and Lana. No, to be exact, it would not be an exaggeration to say her rage toward the two of them had been far greater.
Not because they were associating with some unknown lowlife. Not because they had been foolishly deceived by someone with a black heart.
What truly enraged her was the thought that the two had opened their hearts to another person. That they were trying to be happy. She could not tolerate it. Never.
It was something that should never happen. Thanks to whom had they survived? Thanks to whom were they living such abundant lives? Because of whom had he died?
With what face could they possibly seek happiness?
What Alice could least accept was exactly that—Julia and Lana trying to forget him, trying to forget Gunter's existence and find happiness.
That could not be allowed. They were alive because of his sacrifice. How could they do such a thing?
Besides, their revenge was not yet complete. The remnants of the Dark Cult that had killed him were still breathing across this continent.
In a situation like that, opening their hearts to someone and seeking happiness was something that must never occur.
That was why she had tried to forcibly tear the man away from them.
But now, at this moment, she understood the two of them. Why they had paid attention to the man, why they had kept him close.
When she thought about it, it had been strange from the start. Neither Julia nor Lana had personalities that would easily allow someone into their space.
Yet now she knew the reason. It had all happened because the man—Kyle Berwen—resembled him. Because he resembled Gunter, the two had opened their sides to him.
And the man who had changed those two was now shaking even Alice in the same way.
How could she not be shaken? When he looked at her with eyes that recalled him, spoke words that recalled him, showed reactions that recalled him.
It was impossible not to tremble. When a man who displayed the image of him that she had recalled thousands, tens of thousands—no, countless times—stood before her.
When he spoke for her sake, when he even reached out to hold her back, how could she remain unmoved?
She felt the unconscious urge to nod, to talk with him. Just as Julia and Lana had done, a natural interest in the man bloomed within her.
However.
...No.
She could not. She must not.
Gunter had saved them and died. To pull them from the grasp of the Dark Cult.
It was something that should never have happened. Their meeting on that rainy day had been nothing but coincidence. His saving them had been coincidence as well.
But what came after was not. He had taken them in. He had protected them. Even knowing the existence and danger of the Dark Cult. Even knowing that one day his actions would tighten around his own throat.
And in the end, he had saved them and died. He had sacrificed himself for their lives.
In other words...
It's because of me.
They—she—had killed him. They had taken the life that should never have ended and survived in his place.
There was no way she could be happy. After stealing his life, there was no way she could selfishly seek happiness.
Of course, she had no intention of forcing that thinking onto the other two. He would not have wanted that.
He had definitely told her to take good care of them. Though she had not accepted it then, there was no way she could refuse a request from him.
Therefore, she planned to properly allow the two of them to be happy. Once his revenge was completely finished. Once every last member of the Dark Cult had been erased from this world without exception, she would permit them true happiness.
But at least for herself. She would bear the responsibility. The responsibility of having taken his life and surviving in such an ugly manner.
Therefore...
"Don't spout any more... nonsense...!"
She could not allow herself to be shaken any further.
"Don't spout any more... nonsense...!"
"......!!"
I opened my eyes as wide as they could possibly stretch. I couldn't help it. Because Alice... was crying.
No tears fell. But her trembling eyes, her twisted expression looked as though she might break into sobs at any second.
Reflexively, I moved toward her. To comfort her.
But—
"Don't come near me!!" Alice shouted.
And then— whoosh!
An invisible force slammed into me.
"......!!"
I tried to resist it immediately, but the power was so overwhelming that I couldn't even mount a proper defense before being hurled backward.
By the time I barely regained my balance and stood on both feet again...
"......"
Alice was already gone.