Unease (1)
It had already been a full month since I returned to my hometown village.
Which meant more than two weeks had passed since Maximilian first came calling. A lot had happened in those two weeks. For one thing, he had come back several more times. At first I figured he was just glad to see me.
But when he showed up again only a few days later, and then again the very next day, a chill ran down my spine.
And then it hit me. Ah. This man had confessed that he liked me.
So that was why he kept coming here… Maybe my own behavior was giving him false hope. Still, I needed to keep good relations with him for the sake of the village. Using someone's feelings was a despicable thing to do — but if it was for the village…
The thought of stringing him along left a bad taste in my mouth. The fact that he kept offering me his heart even after being rejected once made me both happy and terribly sorry.
Even so — wasn't he coming a little too often?
Today, once again, Maximilian arrived. He hadn't brought soldiers this time, but he did have a single knight with him as an escort.
"You came again today?"
My reaction made him shrink a little.
"Yes. Today I came because something rather important has come up."
Something important? If he was putting it that way, it really must be serious…
"Is that so? Then let's hear it."
From what he told me, people had been sighted near the border. Naturally they couldn't just ignore it, so they sent someone to investigate and found traces of horses and men coming and going.
We walked along the outskirts of the village as we talked.
"It looks like reconnaissance ahead of a large-scale raid."
"Meaning…"
"There has already been growing unrest on that side. The fact that they've started scouting suggests it will happen soon."
He had come all this way because he had obtained truly critical information and needed to deliver it.
I had been fretting over how to tell him he was visiting too often — thank goodness I hadn't blurted it out the moment he arrived…
"If that's true, we'll need to tighten our watch."
"Would it be all right if I sent some soldiers?"
He looked at me with worried eyes. I was genuinely grateful for the thought. But I shook my head.
"No. It's fine."
"If they set their sights on this place, it will be dangerous."
"I know. But you have your own duties, don't you? Can you really afford to just hand out soldiers like that?"
"That's…"
"We're making our own preparations. Please trust us."
Those anxious eyes… Watching them tremble so openly almost made me smile. He really was a good person. I couldn't understand why someone like him would fall for someone like me.
Which only made it feel more wasteful. He ought to meet a better woman than me… And yet the moment I pictured another woman standing at his side, something twisted unpleasantly in my gut. Why was I thinking like that?
"I see…"
After a moment of thought, Maximilian suddenly made a proposal that caught me completely off guard.
"So you're saying we should go all the way up to the border right now?"
"Yes. We could get some fresh air and inspect the scouting traces at the same time. What do you say?"
It was an abrupt suggestion. There was no real need to go check. I didn't even have to wonder why he had proposed it. Things were about to get busy — this was his way of asking to spend a little time together one last time.
"I'm sorry."
When I refused, Young Master Maximilian's face fell in plain disappointment.
"I apologize."
The reason I turned him down was the same as always — I felt I was giving him too much room to hope.
I had already rejected his confession… and yet I kept leaning on his kindness…
The weight of it was crushing. It felt like a heavy stone lodged in my chest. I couldn't keep giving him false hope any longer.
If I was going to refuse him, I had to refuse him properly.
I had planned to use his feelings… but seeing that earnest, almost foolish sincerity of his made my resolve crumble.
It had never been something suited to me in the first place. Relying on the Church's power would be better…
"It's truly all right. I may have asked too much. And I think I've been trying to give this place special treatment."
He ran his hand along the wall I had built, his expression melancholy.
"I already knew, you see. That it was my personal feelings talking."
His wistful words left me feeling hollow and miserable for reasons I couldn't name.
"When I looked into it, I found that there were quite a few small villages in places we had thought uninhabited. The idea that there might be more places like yours, Miss Julian, led me to order a survey — and the numbers were considerable. It was quite a surprise."
The villages weren't large, he said. A hundred people at most? Most were slash-and-burn settlements of thirty to fifty. Everyone looked so ragged he wondered whether they were even managing to get by.
"With people like that out there, I shouldn't be playing favorites."
"R-right…"
"But I give you my word. If the barbarians invade, I will be the first to ride to your aid…!"
He suddenly seized my hand, his eyes blazing as he spoke. Meeting that gaze full of burning passion only made me more uncomfortable.
I had tried to use the heart of a man like this?
Wasn't I just pure trash…?
"I-it's fine! Th-there's no way those brutes would come here first, right?"
If they really were stupid enough to start their raiding here? The moment we lit the signal fires, they would be caught in a pincer attack from front and rear.
"Yes, of course. Still — one never knows, does one?"
Well… that was true…
"Anyway! Please be careful."
"Yes. You be careful too, Young Master."
He clearly wanted to linger a little longer, but when the knight escorting him urged him on, he left with visible regret.
Dealing with him had drained me completely, so I took a short rest in the village square.
My stomach ached. My heart felt heavy.
Maximilian's love was too heavy… I was grateful that he could care for someone as pathetic and underhanded as me — and at the same time, I was so, so sorry. I disgusted myself for continually leaving the door open.
"Saintess, is something troubling you?"
The one who approached was Priest Daniel.
"Just… I feel bad about Young Master Maximilian."
"Why do you feel bad? You can simply accept things as they are."
I glanced around and realized there was no one else nearby besides Priest Daniel.
No one else… No one to overhear…
He wouldn't go spreading my words.
"Because it feels like I'm using someone else's feelings."
With only Priest Daniel there, I could be honest.
"Sometimes I think it might be better to just have a few of the Church's knights stationed here temporarily…"
"Hmm. You needn't worry about that."
"Pardon?"
Priest Daniel spoke quietly, looking slightly apologetic.
"The Holy Knights will likely be coming."
"Uh… what?"
What was he talking about?
"You've already sent a letter, haven't you, Saintess?"
"Yes, I did."
"They'll be bringing the finished equipment. Once the situation is explained, they'll stay for a few days and help guard the village."
Priest Daniel had already heard about the recent unrest, so he would pass that news along to whoever arrived.
"That's a bit…"
"So you can simply put your mind at ease."
That had nothing to do with how I felt about Maximilian…
I thought I understood why he had brought it up, though. If I didn't need the help, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about accepting it.
He wasn't exactly wrong…
"But can they really stay for several days?"
"They were dispatched for your sake to begin with, Saintess."
According to Priest Daniel, inventing a reason was easy enough.
His father was a Cardinal, and from working at his side he had often seen affairs handled in a rather improvised fashion.
"What matters is whether doing so brings any benefit."
And protecting me was the Church's highest priority. No matter how many people were sacrificed or how many resources were spent, it could never be considered a loss — so they would act without hesitation…
"That's a rather heavy thing to say…"
It was a remark that made me think once again about what the title of Saintess truly meant.
"And there's an easy way to justify a longer stay as well."
"Pardon?"
Priest Daniel smiled faintly.
"Build a temple. That would give a solid pretext both for moving large quantities of supplies and for stationing knights and priests here."
"Whaaat?!"
Build a temple in our village?! What on earth…!
I was speechless.
"This is the place where the Saintess was born, is it not? That's more than enough reason to establish a temple. The village isn't small, and while it's far from the center of the territory, there's a border outpost nearby — so it's perfectly viable."
I opened and closed my mouth like a goldfish.
Come to think of it… that wasn't a bad idea. If priests or nuns were stationed here, it would be a tremendous help to the village.
Even if I weren't around, having people who could use Holy Magic? A great many of my worries would vanish, and I could leave on my travels again with peace of mind.
"That is rather tempting."
When I spoke after serious consideration, Priest Daniel's face lit up with a full smile.
"Shall I send word right away?"
"That's a bit…"
Even so, jumping straight into it felt wrong… I would casually bring it up later, when they came to deliver the equipment.
And that opportunity arrived sooner than expected.
The Church came bearing the finished goods. They had disguised themselves as a merchant caravan — and the scale was considerable. No, it wasn't a disguise. They had simply brought an actual caravan with them.
Was this the dignity of the Church?
The caravan was so large that there were more than twenty cargo wagons alone, and over two hundred people traveling with them.
It was a truly astonishing scale.
"Th-the scale is rather large."
The man in charge of the caravan — the overseer appointed by the Church — bowed his head with an apologetic expression.
"I deeply apologize for startling you."
According to his explanation, this was simply a caravan operated by the Church, and they also intended to resupply the forward outpost.
That was why the scale had grown somewhat.
"Then send the ones who need to go right away. There are so many people that the villagers are feeling overwhelmed."
"I will give the order at once."
At the overseer's command, no fewer than fifteen wagons and more than a hundred and eighty people set off toward the outpost.
I told the overseer to go speak with my father, the village chief, and then headed home under Priest Daniel's escort.
Of course, there was a reason I was going home. A Holy Knight and a priest from the Church were already waiting inside my house.
"It is the greatest of honors to behold the Saintess's countenance."
"Ahaha…"
The middle-aged knight of advanced years looked ready to drop to his knees if I hadn't already been acting so awkwardly.
"Anyway, you've arrived, then?"
"Yes! At once — bring in the goods."
A priest stepped out briefly and returned carrying a large crate. Inside, the various pieces of equipment we had ordered were carefully packed.
"I was told that some of the items will be used by others."
"That's right."
I looked them over and checked. The equipment was a bit more… ornate than I had expected.
Elaborate patterns had been worked into the sword hilts, guards, and pommels. The greaves and shields were even more elaborate still.
First I picked out the pieces ordered in the greatest quantity — Priest Daniel's. He took care of sorting them himself, so I simply watched at my ease.
"The equipment is rather fancy."
"Haha. This much is ordinary."
Was it? The gear I was used to was the cheap stuff adventurers used — simple construction, minimal decoration for ease of manufacture. That must have been the difference.
Priest Daniel pulled out greaves and shields, trying them on or lifting them to check the weight, a broad smile blooming across his face. He looked exactly like a child who had just been given a new toy.
"Excellent."
Now I needed to check the rest…
With a faintly uneasy heart, I opened the next crate.