Gogumador, You Bastard
Gogumador, you bastard.
— Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
I had never realized until today just how violent the sound of a wall clock could be.
A suffocating silence clung thickly to the air inside my hotel room.
"……."
"……."
Ruby sat buried deep in the sofa with her arms crossed, while I sat across from her, staring blankly at a chart that meant nothing.
Ordinarily I would have started needling her first, and she would have snapped back with a sharp Shut up!, and the two of us would have fallen into our usual lively back-and-forth.
I was in no mood for that now.
……My back is going to snap in half. Seriously.
A throb.
Even the slightest shift in posture sent a sharp current racing up my spine.
That ambush leg sweep from the afternoon.
Just thinking about it again made my teeth grind and my knees go weak.
Gogumador, that gallery ghost.
I had trusted that idiot's nonsense and charged in, and instead of physical therapy I was about to become an orthopedic VIP.
Yeah. I was out of my mind. Charging a wild animal bare-handed.
I steeled myself.
Full strategic overhaul.
From now on, a thoroughly professional attitude……
No. From now on, I would still take the gallery ghosts' advice under consideration — but I would stop swallowing it whole without a filter.
At first Gogumador's tips had landed with such uncanny precision that I had put blind faith in him……
But of course the guy was a heretic.
And thanks to that advice, my relationship with the heroine on the other side had turned into thin ice instead.
No more getting emotionally entangled. No more pointless games.
……I had learned that deep in my bones — it was the only way to keep my flesh and skeleton from parting company.
"……Well. If you don't have anything particular to say, I'll just do a status check and wrap up."
I forced out the driest voice I could manage and clicked my ballpoint pen.
Ruby's red eyes flinched, then rolled toward me.
"Yesterday's incident aside. How are you feeling today? Mood any better?"
"……."
"Any surges of anger? Destructive impulses?"
"……No."
"Feeling so furious you can barely stand it?"
"……I said no."
Ruby spat the words out curtly, but her gaze skittered away from my face and wandered through empty air.
Instead of her usual venom-laced stare, it was the classic evasion maneuver of someone with a guilty conscience.
No visible signs of a rampage, so finishing here seemed like the smart play.
Counseling could continue tomorrow.
"That's a relief. No notable issues, so today's session ends here."
I snapped the chart shut and stood up.
BAM!
"……?"
At the sudden crash I turned my head — Ruby had slammed her fist down on the table and was seething.
When I looked at her in surprise, she fixed me with a murderous glare.
"……Hey."
"Yes. What is it."
"You…… looking down on me?"
"Looking down on you?"
I tucked the clipboard under my arm and answered with deliberate calm.
"I checked my client's condition and was being considerate enough to let you rest, since you must be tired. Where exactly is the disrespect in that?"
"That's what pisses me off!!"
Why the sudden meltdown?
Then, once again — zzzzzt — a ringing scraped across my eardrums.
Ruby's psychological state was surging.
She planted both hands on the desk and roared.
"Either sass me like usual, or get mad! Why are you clamming up and acting all awkward?! You're making it weird!!"
"Uh……? I don't believe I've been clamming up."
"Ha……!? You — you did that……! Even now you're acting like you're avoiding me! What the hell……!?"
What was she on about?
I frowned slightly and studied her.
And then……
Ah. A short sound of realization caught in my throat.
"Ha……?"
Hmm. I see?
So Ruby Scarlet — this girl.
Anger management issues or not, she was feeling guilty that I got hurt, and the atmosphere was so heavy she wanted me to lighten it up. Was that it?
A thoroughly selfish line of thinking, and so very her.
I suppressed the dry laugh trying to escape and pressed hard on my temple.
"Ruby."
"……What."
"Do I look like someone who should be laughing right now?"
At my low, flat voice, Ruby's brow twitched.
"The back you slammed this afternoon is still screaming. If I sat here grinning about it, that would make me a lunatic — not a counselor."
"……."
The hit landed. Ruby's mouth shut.
But only for a moment.
Her face flushed red and blotchy, and then her signature hypocritical defense mechanism kicked in for real.
"Ha. Unbelievable. I'm speechless."
She crossed her arms and snorted.
"Hey. Be honest. You're faking it, right?"
"……Faking it?"
"Obviously! I didn't even use fire — I just tipped you over a little. What kind of man frets over something that petty for this long?"
Wow.
Now she was outright blaming the victim.
I let out a long breath. Getting angry with her here would only drag me under.
"'A little,' huh……. By the standards of someone with superhuman strength like you, sure. My back is screaming bloody murder, though."
"Don't make me laugh! You're putting on an act on purpose to make me feel guilty, aren't you?"
Ruby shoved up from her seat.
The sound of her striding footsteps sent a jolt of danger through me.
"That's it. I don't buy it."
"Buy what."
"Whether you're faking or actually hurt. I'm checking with my own eyes."
What the hell was this woman saying.
The aura rolling off her as she closed in was downright vicious.
I instinctively shoved my chair back.
"Ruby, calm down. You can't just go looking at a grown man's body however you—"
"Stay still!!"
"Hah……. Use your words. Words. This is clearly sexual harassm— ugh!!"
The moment I twisted my body while trying to reason with her gently, a sharp, searing pain shot up from my lower back.
"Kh……."
A short groan, and my movement locked up. The predator did not miss that split-second opening.
Thud!
"Got you."
Ruby snagged my shoulder and roughly slammed me back into the chair.
The hand that reached for my shirttail without a second's hesitation had no mercy in it.
"W-wait, Ruby! Ignoring a gentlemanly request, seriously……!"
"Shut up! I'll know once I look!"
I tried to defend myself while keeping as much dignity as I could, but there was no way a wounded body could match an elf's grip strength.
Rrrrip—!
"……Ah."
With the sound of buttons tearing free, the back of my shirt was forcibly yanked open.
Cool air touched my burning back.
I furrowed my brow and fought to stay as composed as possible.
"……You really are out of your mind."
I was about to tell her, politely, to get off already.
Obviously Ruby would sneer See? You're fine! and claim total vindication.
But……
"……Feel better now? If you've seen enough, maybe……."
I never finished the sentence.
Because behind me, it had gone far too quiet.
"……Ruby?"
"……."
No answer.
No sneer, no scolding — not even the sound of rough breathing.
Only the tips of her fingers, still gripping my waistband, trembled ever so slightly……
Sensing something off, I carefully turned my head to check behind me.
"……."
Ruby had frozen like a statue.
The seething energy from moments before had evaporated without a trace.
Her shaking red eyes were locked, as if nailed in place, on a single spot on my lower back.
I dropped my own gaze and looked at my waist.
On the white skin, a vivid bruise — blue-black and dark red.
A fairly wide stretch along the line of my spine had swollen up thick.
No one in their right mind could call this faking. It was a brutal sight.
"……Ah."
From between Ruby's lips, a short sound like a gasp of despair slipped out.
The color drained from her face like a tide going out.
The action she had insisted was "just a little" had nearly left a person half-paralyzed.
And the result of that was laid bare right in front of her eyes.
"……Feel better now?"
I asked in a voice mixed with a sigh and tried to pull my shirt back down.
But Ruby's hand still clenched my shirttail and would not let go.
Her rigid knuckles had gone white.
"……Ruby?"
No answer.
The presence at my back was as still as a dead person's.
I finally twisted my neck as far as the awkward posture allowed and looked at her.
Zzzzzzt.
The ringing came again.
This time, Psychological Insight projected her heart as color.
A withered sunflower.
The yellow of sorrow, drained of life and crumbling to dust.
"……."
Ruby looked as if she had forgotten how to breathe.
Her gaze would not leave my bruised, blue-black lower back.
Those eyes that always burned like fire were now cold and dangerously unsteady.
"I…… again……."
Her lips moved without sound.
I could guess the words even without hearing them.
Even without Psychological Insight, her self-loathing was something I could feel on my skin.
She had probably told herself:
I was in control. I wasn't trying to kill him.
I only pushed him a little.
……And the result had left a horrific mark on an ordinary human body.
The curse-like words that had followed her all her life must have been hammering at her ears.
Disaster.
Monster.
Get close and you get hurt.
An uncontrollable time bomb.
"……Ah."
Ruby's fingertips hovered in the air near my waist.
Afraid that touching me would hurt me, she trembled violently without making contact.
"I— I……."
Her voice came out cracked, like metal scraping.
The swagger of moments ago — You're faking it! — had shattered to pieces.
"……I didn't…… mean to……."
"Ruby."
I carefully pried her wrist free from my shirt.
She did not resist.
She let go, limp, guided by my hand.
I slowly pulled my shirt back down, turned the chair, and sat facing her directly.
"……."
Ruby could not lift her head.
She had no face to look at me with.
The fists clenched on her knees were shaking hard.
I opened my mouth calmly, as if nothing were wrong.
"As you can see, I wasn't faking."
"……."
"So for a while, heavy lifting and intense exercise are going to be difficult. Your counseling sessions will probably have to be conducted seated only as well."
I did not blame her.
Instead I laid out the schedule ahead in a matter-of-fact tone.
Even knowing that would drive her even more out of her mind.
"……Why."
After a long silence, Ruby forced the word out.
"……Why aren't you mad?"
Head bowed low, she muttered in a wet voice.
"I called you a faker. I grabbed an injured person and threw a fit. I…… I did this to you."
She raised her head.
Moisture trembled at the corners of her reddened eyes.
A fragile look, as if she might burst into tears at any second.
"……Just curse me out. Please."
"……."
"Say you're the same. That hanging around a monster is just bad luck…… Just curse me like that!!"
In the end she shouted again.
But this cry was not an attack aimed at me.
It was self-loathing. A scream directed at herself.
I looked at her in silence.
Anger management disorder.
A child who did not know how to handle her own emotions.
So tormented by the wound she had inflicted that she was clumsily begging the other person, Please just hate me.
I let out a small sigh and took a sip of the cold coffee on the desk.
"Ruby."
"……."
"I am a counselor."
I set the cup down and looked straight into her eyes.
"When a patient has an episode and happens to injure the doctor a little, the doctor does not curse out the patient."
"……What?"
"Just be more careful next time. Wouldn't that be enough?"
I added with a faint smile.
"Ah, of course, there is one condition."
"……What."
I grinned.
"No complaining about my treatment. Tomorrow you concentrate and follow my methods, understood?"
"……."
Ruby stared at me blankly.
My attitude held no contempt, no anger, no fear.
That dry way of treating her not as a monster, but simply as a patient who had made a mistake.
To her, right now, it must have hit harder than any comfort in the world.
"……Ha."
Ruby let out a hollow laugh.
The tears that had been welling in her eyes slipped free and ran down her cheek.
"……God, you really are something else……."
She roughly wiped her tears and sniffled.
Then she spun around and headed for the door.
"……Fine."
"Pardon?"
Click.
She fled out of my room as if running away.
But this time there was no slam.
Only the quiet sound of the doorknob carefully turned and closed remained.
I looked at the shut door and leaned deep into the chair back.
As the tension drained, the throbbing pain in my waist came roaring back twice as strong.
"……Haa."
I muttered with a bitter smile.
Still. One hurdle cleared, maybe.
"Whew…… Still livable, at least."
Morning came.
Was it because this was a game world? My recovery rate was absurdly good.
Except…… I was still fucking furious.
Gogumador, that con-artist bastard.
What was that?
Nonverbal suppression?
Safe base?
The more I thought about it, the hotter my blood ran and the higher my blood pressure climbed.
Safe base my ass. I had nearly hugged a live grenade with the pin pulled and blown myself up.
I refreshed the interface and opened the community window.
Clack-clack, clack!
Fingers loaded with rage hammered the keyboard like they meant to break it.
Was this bastard actually a demon wearing human skin?
I ground my teeth and typed a reply.
"This bastard is full of shit."
I kept hammering out the rage-typing.
Clack!
I shut the interface off in a fit of irritation.
Even after the screen went dark, the phantom of their mocking lmaos seemed to float and drift in the air.
"From now on I only trust myself…… fuck."