Senior, What Does "Bang" Mean?
Senior, what does "bang" mean?
It was the day I'd received my performance bonus. I'd ordered fried chicken and was heading home, so giddy with excitement that I found myself running the whole way.
Screeeech—!
KRAKOOM—!
The sound of skidding tires, and then a pain like my body being torn apart. One second stretched into a hundred. All that remained was the hollow, drifting sensation of my life guttering out. And just as death crept close enough for fear to seize my entire body—
Just once. A single blink.
I was standing, perfectly unharmed, in a place I didn't recognize. My mind turned to mush. I denied reality over and over, but I could only reach one conclusion.
Isekai possession. Or a transfer.
Picking that question apart wasn't going to get me anywhere. Complicated soul-searching could wait. First, I decided to check my abilities.
Right—abilities! The cheat powers, the superhuman gifts, that Earthlings get the moment they're flung into another world! My eyes gleamed as I tried to take stock—
And at the mouth of the alley, two men in hazmat suits appeared on the roadside and started shouting.
"HQ! Anomalous entity sighted! Target confirmed!"
"Contamination levels rising continuously! We can still contain it for now."
Both men pointed at me.
Wh-what? An anomalous entity? Surely they weren't talking about me?
"Naming the new anomalous entity Alpha. Beginning record of Alpha, effective now."
But there was nobody else around. The anomalous entity they were talking about was, apparently, me.
"It doesn't appear to be an entity that alters its surrounding environment."
"Best of all, it shows no aggression. Alpha is silent. Senior—could it be a Safe Entity?"
"Don't let your guard down! Until we discover its rules, no anomalous entity is ever safe!"
"HQ. Alpha confirmed to be humanoid. Following protocol, we will now attempt physical termination of an entity possessing cloth!"
Before I could even collect myself, the conversation was flowing past me too fast to follow. And I had no time to raise any questions, because the men had already drawn their rifles and were racking the slides.
"Wh-whaa! W-wait a second!!"
Death came creeping back. I dropped straight to my knees and begged for my life with both hands, clasped and shaking. Dignity meant nothing in the face of terror. My knees had always been the cheap, disposable kind anyway.
"P-please, spare me!!"
At the sign of surrender, the younger man—the one who looked like the junior—glanced at his senior. What came back was a bark of fury.
"Don't react emotionally to an anomalous entity's behavior! They are not human!!"
"But—!"
"Do you want to die? Have you already forgotten the academy classmate who died from letting his guard down?"
"...! I-I'm sorry."
Hold on! Weren't you supposed to be sparing me? I'm telling you I'm really not an anomalous entity!!
Click—!
The overwhelming conviction that I could not, would not die made that unknown power snap into motion on its own. The out-of-control ability drained the color from the ground across the entire alley, staining every inch of it black.
"F-fire!! Open fire!!"
As the space lurched and shuddered, the man who seemed to be the senior shouted urgently. And while the two of them trained their guns on me, the unknown power asked me a question.
Set the escape rule for the room.
An escape rule? Solve the riddle and find the key.Locate the evidence and escape the room. Ordinary escape-room rules floated up out of my memory.
The problem was that my thoughts didn't stop there.
Rule has been established.
No gunshots rang out. Before the triggers could be pulled, the men in the hazmat suits sank straight into the ground.
"I-I almost died."
Being the humble little civilian that I was, I broke out in a cold sweat and shook like a leaf. Then I sank to the pavement, letting my pounding heart slowly settle.
Meanwhile, the men who'd fallen through empty air were falling apart just as thoroughly.
A small room and a bed. A door leading out, and a sign hanging above it. And the sign read:
The Room You Cannot Leave Without Bangings.
The junior turned to his senior and asked, trembling:
"S-Senior... what does bang mean?"
"...Fuck."
Once my thundering heart had calmed down, I fled the alley. A cordoned-off containment zone. Surveillance cameras tracking my every move. My face was already blown—disguising myself now would be pointless.
Which meant I had to muddy the waters instead. I made for a crowded district, and only once I spotted dozens of people on the street did I finally breathe easy. They couldn't possibly open fire in a place crawling with civilians. What mattered was that I'd bought myself reaction time.
As I gulped down rough breaths and pictured the two men in hazmat suits, a notification window blinked into view before my eyes.
[Alert: Occupants No. 1 and No. 2 have been trapped in the room.]
[Warning: They have discovered the escape rule.]
[The occupants' emotions are intensifying. Extreme conflict and shame are erupting. Collecting a large quantity of Mental Energy.]
[Energy collected so far: 132]
"Mental Energy? Now what the hell is that?"
It was a word I'd never seen before, and yet it felt strangely familiar. And oddly enough, I understood instinctively that it was the single most important thing to me.
What I could see wasn't limited to the notifications, either. Beside them was a screen showing the inside of the room.
"HQ! HQ!! Do you copy? Damn it! Are we jammed?!"
The man called Senior was scrambling to restore his radio link. But the junior had gone chalk-white as he asked:
"Senior. This 'bang' business... it can't mean what I think it means, right?"
"...Rookie. Don't deny reality."
"B-but Senior. If that's true, then..."
The junior looked around the room. Everywhere he looked, there was no one but himself and his senior. The moment that fact landed, all he could do was stare at the older man, pleading.
And so Senior did what a senior does—he patted his rookie on the shoulder.
"There's no guarantee that sign is telling the truth. Some anomalous entities specialize in lying, you know!"
"B-but I've heard that some anomalous entities actually enjoy watching humans suffer and agonize."
The junior's words hit far too close to the mark, and Senior had no reply. Leaving his frozen rookie where he stood, he began methodically searching everything in the room.
He grabbed the doorknob to escape. The door didn't budge an inch, and the man stepped back—though he didn't seem to have expected much in the first place. He fired his rifle at the doorknob, tried to force the door with his equipment, worked through every trick in his kit. Every escape method failed.
The only real gain the two of them managed to wring out of the search was this:
"Condoms... Alpha, you son of a bitch...! Fuck!! There are only two men in here—is this thing telling us to practice safe sex?! Or is it a warning about STDs?!!"
The junior's psyche finally shattered. He jabbed a finger at the heavens, raving at the sky.
Watching him calmly, Senior's expression hardened.
"I'm afraid you're right."
"...I'm sorry, what?"
A beat of silence. The junior's mouth hung open, his face going blank.
"This anomalous entity appears to enjoy human suffering. It's probably watching us right now, getting its kicks."
At those words, the junior collapsed to the floor in despair. And hearing them, I found myself at a loss for words too. Because the messages were getting very loud indeed.
[Alert: The occupants are experiencing intense emotions. Collecting Mental Energy.]
[Energy collected so far: 341]
But this—this was a genuine accident. I'm not even gay. Why the hell would I want two grown men to bang?!
Enjoying this? Like hell. This was torture. Nothing more, nothing less.
"Damn it. I find it disgusting too!"
Get out, all of you, just GET OUT!!
Remove Occupants No. 1 and No. 2?
No, wait. "Remove" didn't mean... kill them, did it? Even if they had pointed rifles at me, I had no desire to kill anyone. What right did I have to take a life?
"Not removal—escape!!"
[Forced Ejection — Energy cost: 10,000]
[Alert: Insufficient energy. The Forced Ejection function is unavailable.]
A-are you kidding me?
"Rule change... fine, I'll change the escape rule."
An established rule cannot be changed until an escapee emerges.
"Oh, for..."
While I scrambled to get them out, the mood inside the room was drifting somewhere very strange indeed.
"Rookie. There's no other way."
"...Senior? No. No way."
Senior walked toward him slowly. He placed a hand on the junior's shoulder and spoke with eyes blazing with resolve.
"I can't think of a single better option. I don't want this any more than you do—but we've got no choice but to do it and pretend we were fooled."
"N-no! I won't!"
"Get a grip! It's about surviving!"
"But Senior—!"
The junior's refusal made Senior grind his teeth.
"But it's better than dying, isn't it? It's fine. It's my first time too. Just close your eyes. It'll be over before you know it."
The sheer, steely determination in his answer made my stomach heave. I gagged over and over as I watched the two of them. He was pressing the rookie with the grim face of a man marching to war.
"Fuck! You crazy faggot bastard!"
What was with that patter? Did he think he was seducing a blushing maiden?! "I can't believe I have to watch this shit!"
My abilities were still undeveloped, so finding a way to turn the screen off took an absolute eternity. Fortunately, I managed to kill the display before the men got around to taking off their hazmat suits.
And a short while later, I learned some information I would have given anything never to know.
[Warning: Occupants No. 1 and No. 2 have escaped.]
[Warning: A reward must be paid out.]
[Consuming energy.]
[Energy remaining: 411]
"What?! A reward...? They're the ones who did the banging—why am *I* the one paying for it?!"