You. Become the Juddak

"Sit."

His Majesty had a beautifully arranged tea table set before him, and was inviting me and the Tower Master to take our seats. A smile still lingered at the corners of his mouth.

Once the two of us were seated, His Majesty seemed to recall the video from earlier — he chuckled once, then burst into full-bodied laughter.

"Minister Randor, setting off in search of his lost eggs. I suspect that will stay with me until the day I die."

I had no idea what was what, but the mood at least seemed good. The Tower Master and I swallowed dryly and managed strained smiles at each other.

"But do you know this, Elsie Bwener? I turn 125 this year. I was in my twenties back in the days of Tyrant King Gilmore. I remember it all — the very moment Minister Randor was castrated, the very moment the Tyrant fell. Incidentally, Minister Randor was my uncle on my mother's side."

And then the smile vanished.

"I beg your pardon, Your Majesty."

"No, it was funny. We're in private company here, so I'll say it — he was a bastard of an uncle. He put me through plenty in his day. That's exactly why I laughed. Minister Randor, off to find his vanished eggs. It felt like a hundred years of pent-up weight lifting off my chest. Puhahahaha!"

His Majesty started laughing again. The Tower Master and I exchanged a glance — are ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠we allowed to laugh now? — and carefully put on smiles.

"Of course, laughing doesn't make the crime of insulting the royal family disappear. By the letter of the law, you'd both have your heads lopped off and displayed in the streets."

And the smile vanished once more.

What... exactly does he want from us?

"Your Majesty. What is it you desire of us?"

"And what do you think I want, Elsie?"

A question answered with a question. I couldn't answer right away.

Does he want censorship?

This was the perfect opportunity for the crown to finally fasten the leash it had always longed for onto Soul Net.

And yet it felt strange for him to want censorship when he'd been cackling at the Randor memes mere moments ago. I couldn't read his intentions at all.

While the Tower Master and I both sat there with our mouths shut, His Majesty quietly sipped his tea and dropped a single remark.

"Soul Net is a great magic, Elsie. I won't deny that. You've created an entirely new culture. The magic you developed deserves to be called a revolution, and the word might still fall short. But at the same time, it is dangerous."

His Majesty wore a warm, indulgent smile. But the light inside his eyes was ice-cold.

The man before me had ruled the empire for over a hundred years — the very man who had turned the Kingdom of Balrod into an empire. He wasn't shouting, and yet I felt as though his presence alone could crush me dead.

"The Randor memes I can simply leave alone. Frankly, I found them cathartic. And funny, too. Applying the crime of royal insult is difficult anyway — Randor and Tyrant Gilmore committed atrocities so savage in their day that punishing anyone now might invite the accusation that we're defending that era."

"Then...?"

"No one will be punished over the Randor memes. I'll stake my very name on it. But what worries me, Elsie, isn't the Minister Randor memes. It's what comes after. Today it's Randor — but Soul Net, so long as something is interesting and entertaining, will tear into anyone. Isn't that so?"

"........."

"It was a flaw plainly visible from the moment Soul Net first appeared. Things have stayed quiet for now because you're still in your growth period, but the moment this becomes the mainstream culture of the entire dimension — every troublemaker, every criminal, every dim-witted bastard out there will begin abusing Soul Net."

His Majesty tapped his teacup with his spoon, ringing it out sharp and clear. The Tower Master and I slowly lifted our heads and looked at him.

"What if memes of me start appearing simply because someone finds it amusing? What if a meme of my wife being violated appears simply because someone finds her attractive? What if videos mocking and insulting the royal family — my sons, my daughters, our relatives — appear simply because someone is annoyed? Would you laugh that off too?"

Dizzying words. This was the moment I clearly had to yield.

However much I opposed censorship and however precious Soul Net was to me, everything he was describing genuinely could happen — and if it did, it would become an enormous problem.

"I will prohibit memes targeting the royal family and the ministers—"

"No. Insult, mock, meme, and enjoy to your hearts' content. I won't stop that. Did you think Soul Net could be stopped just because you tried?"

"Pardon?"

"I mean that the dial needs adjusting. Elsie, I'm not saying this only for my own sake or the royal family's. It's for your sake — and the sake of Soul Net's users as well."

His Majesty smiled. But the quality of the smile was subtly different from before. It was a smile steeped in headache and dread at the mere thought of it.

"Royalty can be insulted. We endure it and let it pass. Leaders have always occupied positions that attract abuse. I'm quite used to it. My sons, my wife, my daughters, our relatives — meme them, mock them, enjoy them all you like. We will simply let it slide."

"........"

"But what if the target is one of the Ten Heroes?"

"........"

"People of another dimension — say, the murim martial artists of the Seonmu World? For the record, those are people who throw away their lives like flies for the sake of honor alone. If you insulted and mocked such people, how do you suppose they would react?"

"........"

"And the ancient dragons? What if Soul Net users took to calling the dragons fat, overfed lizards too obese to crawl out of their rare nests, sleeping the centuries away — and laughed about it?"

"........"

"Say the dragons let it slide. What of the Elemental Kings? The gods of the God Realm? The demons and Archdemons of the Nine Hells? Soul Net will no doubt mock, ridicule, and meme even those beings, with perfect fairness — so long as it's entertaining."

I had shut my eyes tightly without even realizing it.

I understood exactly what His Majesty was trying to say.

If that catastrophe ever truly erupted, the crime of insulting the royal family would look like a child's prank by comparison. The problem could spread beyond the Balrod Empire to endanger the entire Wirod Dimension itself.

I had nothing to say.

Unknowingly, I had apparently still been thinking with my Earth instincts. But this wasn't Earth.

This was the Wirod Dimension, where absolute monarchy and fantastical beings lived and breathed.

Perhaps Soul Net had been doing so well that I'd briefly forgotten the dangers an internet inherently carries.

"I will prohibit memes and mockery beyond a certain threshold. And, the royal family included, I will designate those who must not be casually mentioned or ridiculed on Soul Net and set the limits accordingly. Your Majesty."

His Majesty shook his head at my words.

"That is not enough."

"Then how far do you wish me to go?"

"Every problem that arises from Soul Net from this ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠day forward — you and the Black Magic Tower will take responsibility and clean it up."

The Tower Master's eyes went wide.

"Pardon? But Your Majesty, cleaning up problems across the whole of Soul Net is—"

"Impossible, yes. And in practice, often impossible indeed. You are, after all, merely a tower that handles space and dimensional magic. So let us do it this way instead."

His Majesty summoned something into his hand and slowly extended it toward me.

"Take it, Elsie Bwener."

I carefully, reverently received the object with both hands. And as I looked down at it, I saw a single badge wrought of mithril. At its center, a jester's cap had been engraved in vivid detail.

"I hereby confer upon Soul Net the office of Court Jester."

"Court Jester, Your Majesty?"

"The crime of royal insult will pass into that office's keeping. Most incidents to come will likewise be given lenient consideration ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠so long as you hold it. And with that rank, you may come to me at any time and request whatever you need. Court Jester is an extraordinarily high office. Despite the name 'jester,' it is not something just anyone can hold."

His Majesty was still smiling. But his eyes and his voice remained suffocatingly cold.

"When the Black Magic Tower's power alone proves insufficient for handling the incidents Soul Net causes, come to the crown. We will provide support. But keep this one thing in mind."

"And that is?"

"A Court Jester must be funny. If he cannot be funny, he must silence the powerful with razor-sharp criticism. If he can do neither, a jester has no reason to keep breathing — he is executed before all the people, amid jeers and derision."

"........"

"Soul Net's self-moderation I entrust to you. The moment the crown did it, there would inevitably be an uproar — censorship, leashes of power, and so on and so forth. And so you will do it. From this day forward, it is you who must control and restrain anything that crosses the line — anything that could endanger the entire empire, or the entire dimension."

His Majesty had not fastened a leash onto Soul Net.

He was a man who understood by pure intuition that this was a medium no leash could hold, no matter how hard you tried.

But I honestly didn't know whether I should be happy about this.

"If your self-moderation fails, Elsie, I will hold you and the Black Magic Tower accountable. I won't execute you for royal insult — but neither will I forget this. The royal family holds its grudges very, very long. You would do well to remember that."

The heavy word accountability came down onto my shoulders.

I had not been executed for insulting the royal family.

In exchange, I had become the Juddak of all of Soul Net.

The very first thing I did was post the announcement where every single Soul Net user could see it.

To summarize its contents: memes or mockery that crossed the line would be blocked, the posts deleted, and in some cases the poster's location traced, leading to formal reports and lawsuits. Posts that excessively ridiculed or insulted the royal family and nobility — or high races such as Archdemons, Heroes, ancient dragons, and Elemental Kings, or beings from other dimensions — could be censored or removed. And beyond that, spreading fabricated false information or using Soul Net to facilitate serious crimes would result in sanctions and moderation, with legal reports and complaints proceeding as well.

Once the system-wide announcement was up, I immediately sent individual notices and direct chats to the heavier hitters among the Randor meme creators to inform them of the situation. And a few of them — the ones who had clearly and unquestionably crossed the line — had to be issued warnings and banned outright.

Separate from the matter of royal insult, I also had to seek out the theater troupe whose member had played Minister Randor and check on how they were holding up.

And most fortunately—

"Well, you did say memes that cross the line will be moderated. Besides, it's not as though I hate those memes existing."

"Is that so?"

"I was nothing but an aging, unknown bit-part actor, and now the entire dimension recognizes my face. Hahaha! I don't dislike the memes all that much, truly."

The troupe and the actor in question weren't particularly negative about the memes at all.

Soul Net's reaction, meanwhile, was split...

On the whole, the verdict was less rage at censorship and more agreement that this was appropriate moderation.

And His Majesty the Emperor kept his promise.

A hundred years ago, in an age when many lived long lives thanks to magic, there would have been ample room to complain — and yet the royal family stayed quietly silent about the Randor memes still circulating, never once letting their fury show.

And so, mercifully, the whole affair wrapped up smoothly, without any major accident.

The memes kept coming, mass-producing landmark memes that would go down in Soul Net history, but nothing that could truly be called crossing the line appeared anymore.

That aside, however, my workload had grown one size larger.

"Master Tower Master. It looks like we'll need to hire additional staff."

"To handle those who cross the line, or the sorts who use Soul Net for crime — is that it?"

"His Majesty's intuition was exactly right. There's no reason people like that would stop appearing from here on. And among them, some might cross lines so grave that they endanger not just the Black Magic Tower but the entire dimension. So we need response personnel of our own."

"I agree. Location tracing and identity verification through Soul Net — and let's look into recruiting mercenaries or adventurers who can go apprehend them directly."

"Please do. I'll prepare to contact Lady Iomene as well."

Soul Net Juddak, Elsie.

An unfortunate role — but one that had been forced upon me, like it or not.

And most unfortunately of all, before our response team had even been properly assembled, a problem we would have to handle fell right into our laps.

Because the very first user to drag the concept of the hate comment to the surface of Soul Net had just appeared.