Nothing Is More Fun Than Watching Other People's Romance
The bathtub.
And not just any ordinary bathtub.
This was a lavish, magnificent bathhouse befitting the kingdom's strongest monster hunter.
The walls displayed the heads of monsters Gunhild had personally hunted, and the shields and armor of foes she had shattered were mounted in ostentatious display.
And the very person responsible for all this grandeur was—
This is driving me insane.
utterly at a loss.
She would sooner have gone out to hunt an elder dragon. As grueling and deadly as that might be, at least it would be living the way she had always lived.
But meeting up with a friend she'd met on Soul Net to hang out? That was something she had never once done in her entire life.
And yet she wanted to meet them.
Because she was curious what kind of person could create music so beautiful.
And so, Gunhild made the decision of a lifetime.
The chat ended.
Gunhild covered her face with hands calloused and scarred from a lifetime of battle.
"Meeting up with a friend to hang out... what on earth am I supposed to do?"
It wasn't that she lacked social skills.
The problem was that her particular brand of social skill had been honed exclusively for maintaining and running an army.
Chit-chatting with friends?
The Kingdom of Valerheim simply didn't have an atmosphere for that sort of thing.
The people around her were probably just like her.
In other words, even if she asked for help, she wasn't going to get a useful answer.
After a long stretch of agonizing, Gunhild finally tracked down a place where she might reasonably expect decent advice.
The Adventurer Gallery.
She herself had gotten quite a bit of useful information from there while hunting all manner of magical beasts and monsters.
What do you do when hanging out with a friend?
What can you even do for fun?
These people would surely have answers this time as well.
And her expectations were betrayed.
Just as Gunhild was about to log off Soul Net in gloom—
Gunhild hurried to the Social Gallery.
And sure enough.
It was a gallery filled with titles suggesting its members were indeed experts in the fine art of hanging out with friends.
Gunhild hastily posted her dilemma.
The moment the post went up, reactions came pouring in.
And the instant she typed those words—
the gallery's atmosphere suddenly began to heat up.
The young ladies pounced with voracious curiosity.
And then, for a moment—
the gallery froze.
Before erupting, moments later, on a scale incomparable to anything that had come before.
Gunhild's brow furrowed hard.
Romance?
It was clearly nothing of the sort.
But the young ladies of the Social Gallery already seemed to have reached a provisional verdict.
Advice premised on romance began piling up.
Their enthusiasm was admirable, but it was counsel Gunhild could not possibly digest.
Gunhild's head began to spin.
But still.
A friend she'd already agreed to meet, after all.
And having people so eager to help her was, if nothing else, somewhat reassuring.
The ladies beyond the screen threw themselves into helping her put together an outfit.
Following their counsel, Gunhild hurried her preparations for the meeting as best she could.
And then—
A week passed, and the day of Tedl and Gunhild's meeting arrived.
Tedl had hauled a full load of wool from the sheep he raised, along with cowhide and more, to Valerheim to sell. At least once every three months or so, he had to make sales like this to keep his household afloat.
On any other day, he would have fled this cold, harsh kingdom as fast as his legs could carry him—but today was different.
Tedl waited for his friend in the central plaza.
The very first friend on his Soul World page, the one who always listened to his stories and praised his music.
Though they had never met face to face, one could sense a certain refinement in the friend's manner of speaking and everyday turns of phrase.
What would they look like?
What kind of person would they be?
Waiting there in Valerheim's freezing central plaza, brimming with anticipation—
"Tedl, sir?"
A low, husky voice rang out, and Tedl turned to see—
"I'm MariKa. You are Tedl, I presume?"
a woman who looked entirely capable of tearing a bear apart with her bare hands.
Tedl was by no means short.
At a hundred and seventy-eight centimeters, with a sturdy frame hardened by the shepherd's trade, he was no small man—yet he was no match for the woman before him, who stood slightly taller and was packed with muscle.
Perhaps it was the leather trousers and casual-looking jacket she wore.
She had a bit of a delinquent air about her, too.
"Ah—yes. That's me. I'm Tedl. I had assumed you were a man, but........."
"I'm a woman."
"I see. Well, nothing I imagined turned out to be right. Hahaha."
She was an extremely rough-looking woman, yet Tedl found he didn't dislike the figure before him at all.
And it was little wonder—
She's really beautiful. Where in the world did a woman like her come from?
She was beautiful. Her musculature wasn't the grotesque bulk of some muscle-bound monster, but perfectly balanced and proportioned, giving her the body of a living sculpture.
A woman of the rough north.
And Tedl was by no means averse to women with that kind of presence.
And so Tedl—
"Um, Lady MariKa? If it wouldn't be an imposition, might I invite you to a tavern for a meal? Have you eaten yet, by any chance?"
worked up the courage to take his chance with the woman before him.
At those words, MariKa abruptly fell silent for a long while.
"Lady MariKa?"
Wondering if he'd offended her, Tedl asked again, and only then did MariKa sigh and answer.
"Mr. Tedl. If it's all right with you, may I take a photograph of you and post it to Soul Net?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"I've never spent time with a friend before, so I asked for a bit of help. The people advising me are giving me counsel right now. And they......... well, they say they'd like to see your face. Of course, if it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to refuse."
He had no idea what this bizarre request was about, but Tedl was a man from the Quirltere Kingdom, far too guileless and pure-hearted to suspect fraud or crime.
Besides, how long had he known MariKa on Soul Net?
After long conversations with this woman, he had come to the firm conviction that she was not the sort to do anything wicked.
"Of course. Go right ahead. If it's something you need, by all means."
"Thank you."
MariKa—or rather, Gunhild—took the photograph with an apologetic look on her face and posted it to the Social Gallery.
Outwardly she remained composed, but inside, she had no idea what to make of any of this.
Tedl, of course, would never have dreamed of it.
The Social Gallery's user count exploded more than tenfold because of a single man named Tedl.
The young ladies of every major noble house in the Balrod Empire and the surrounding kingdoms had all turned their attention to this utterly insignificant little meeting.
"What are you looking at?"
"Something our young lady showed us—look, look! The princess of Valerheim is going on a date with a commoner man!"
"Oh my goodness! A princess with a commoner?!"
"Sign up for Soul Net right now and go read the Social Gallery threads. This is so, SO fascinating?"
And because the noble ladies were watching, the maids and assorted servants who attended them were also joining Soul Net to watch how this meeting would turn out.
And the result of it all—
"Elsy! One single post is getting a monstrous traffic surge! It's bad enough to threaten the dimensional stability!"
"I'm sorry—exactly how big of a surge are we talking?"
"Over a hundred thousand views in under an hour! Fix it, now! Right this instant!"
"R-right away, my lady!"
Elsy Bwenner, of the Black Magic Tower and creator of Soul Net, had suddenly become a very busy man.
And also—
The post had climbed all the way to the #1 most-viewed spot on Soul Best.
Tedl knew absolutely nothing about any of it.