293 - True Feelings

I woke up in a cramped three-pyeong room that felt utterly barren and dry. Looking around, I saw familiar furniture arranged in the usual way. This must be the virtual reality space where I'd spent seven years trapped in that capsule.

This is my home? Man, I really lived like a total slob.

Struggling here wouldn't change a thing. If I just waited and waited, that door would open eventually. Astarte didn't have much power left to sustain a real body anyway, so it wouldn't take long. And just now, another reason to wait patiently had appeared.

I pulled back the blanket on the bed, and my eyes met those of the woman who revealed her face. Her pupils shimmered beneath long lashes like a full moon reflected in a lake. They were the color of pitch-black night, yet they tricked the eye into imagining them under the glow of the Milky Way. Her slender limbs and pale skin contrasted sharply with her black hair, giving her a fragile impression, as if a breeze might carry her away. The woman smiled innocently, her eye crinkles bunching up sweetly.

"Want to come cuddle with Mommy?"

It wasn't easy to resist that cuckoo-like temptation in her voice. I crawled onto the bed and lay beside her, both of us staring at the ceiling.

"Seola's hands are warm..."

Our interlaced fingers were no longer as ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠cold as a corpse.

"Natural weather phenomena are called natural disasters, while those caused by human error are called man-made disasters."

I spoke slowly and clearly so she could understand. The Seola I'd unconsciously created in my subconscious listened intently to my story.

"So, what do you call a disaster created by a being close to nature to wipe out humanity?"

"A natural disaster?"

"Yeah. That's what I think too."

With nothing but time on my hands, I told Seola the long, long tale of my previous life.

"These seeds of mana particles called erosion stimulated human instincts, turning the host into a center of devastation that razed everything around them. Even if the host died, they'd just latch onto another nearby."

"Eek... scary..."

"Right? Tougher than cancer cells, even."

Honoring my ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠master's dying words, I'd created six clones of myself using the Akashic Record, neutering their instincts, and transferred all the erosion into those empty shells. Even without memories or ego, the erosions formed their own personalities and acted human-like—a grotesque sight.

"I'm not one to think cancer cells count as life anyway. Since they were my creations, it was my responsibility to end them."

After tremendous effort, I deactivated all seven erosions and sealed them into a single body. That grand plan was completed when Hiasen took my life.

"Maybe that's when I decided to be kind to kids."

Unlike the erosions doomed to destruction, humans had free will and infinite potential.

"So you were nice to them?"

"In my own way? I don't know what my friends think of me, but I feel like I did my best."

"If Nami thinks that, it's enough."

"Is it...?"

The academy playtime couldn't last forever. Ultimately, I was still that rolling stone from my past life—whether reincarnated or remembering it. The distance from my friends would only grow. I'd felt it keenly after the academy tournament. Aside from a few close ones who congratulated me sincerely, everyone else seemed to keep their distance. Just like the stares from my previous life.

"Nami, can I ask you one thing?"

"Sure."

"What is Adella to you?"

"Hmm..."

I closed my eyes and pondered deeply, recalling how I'd met Adella. Why hadn't I given up on her, just an NPC? Was it stubborn pride refusing to admit weakness? Or lingering guilt from forcibly 'collecting' the erosions?

"That kid and I both don't quite belong in this world. So we have to help each other out."

"Friends."

"Yeah... friends. You're right, Seola..."

"Adella's so lucky to have a great friend like my Nami!"

"Hey, Seola."

I turned to meet her eyes. Her beaming smile was so beautiful. I wished I'd seen expressions like this more when she was alive.

"I'm your daughter, but I might not be."

"Yeah."

"I've even lived longer than you—been older than you at times."

"Yeah."

"So honestly... I don't have the courage to face you ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠properly. Maybe I'm just a wicked witch who stole your daughter's body—"

"NoName!"

"Whoa!"

Seola squished my cheeks with both hands. My lips puckered out like a duck's beak.

"No matter what anyone says, you're my daughter. That's an unchanging fact."

"But did you hear me? I have memories from my past life..."

"So what?"

"...?"

"Can't I just claim both as my daughters?"

What nonsense... As I furrowed my brow, Seola pulled my head into her embrace.

"Imagine, Nami. If we'd lived normally, I'd have loved having such a mature daughter like you. A daughter who's like a friend—a mom who's like a friend. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Ah..."

"Plus, those past-life memories are why you got rescued from the capsule. Our daughter survived so fiercely that we can talk like this now."

"If you say it like that..."

"What you went through before, the stares you got—it doesn't matter. To Mommy, you're just one adorable, spoiled little girl. Yes, definitely."

Suddenly, my heart clenched tight. Hot pain surged from my throat to my head.

"I..."

My lips trembled, vision blurring.

"I... must've wanted to hear that so badly..."

My voice shook. Hold it in, hold it in, I repeated to myself, but when Seola patted my back, the tears came anyway. Droplets soaked her chest.

"I lived this long... hic... just to hear those words..."

My tear glands felt broken. Seola gently wiped under my eyes with her thumb, but fresh tears streamed down each time.

"If Mom were alive... would she say the same to me...?"

"Yes. Without a doubt."

"Mom... I miss you so much... I finally found a new life... can finally breathe... hic..."

I wished this wasn't all an illusion. Wished her warm words and soft embrace were real. Wished time would freeze with all my identity worries cast aside, just foolishly clinging to Mom like this.

"You've been through so much..."

"It was so scary... like... hic... those bad seniors cheating with rule-breaking magic on the sly...! Then denying it... My Aura Heart... I worked so hard to implant that steel core... can't let it break... had to drain the mana fast... but blood kept pouring from my arm...! It hurt so much... hic..."

A child's mind was too fragile, like a full cup of water—shake it a little, and emotions spilled out. Each of Seola's touches crumbled me utterly. But the door crack widened, and Seola began to fade.

"Nami, stop crying now. Time to go."

"If I cried over stuff like this... I wouldn't have survived that hellish past world. Right now, I'm just Mom's daughter... just that..."

But this was my secret room, unknown to anyone. No need to mind others—I could sob freely, and it felt so comforting.

"And Nami, you're not disconnected from the world."

"...What do you mean?"

"Look over there. So many people waiting for you."

"Ah..."

Seola helped me stand and pointed outside with her long, slender finger. The door swung wide, and a fresh breeze tousled my hair. In the endless green expanse, I saw familiar faces.

"My Nami won't be lonely without me."

It was early dawn, the ink-blue sky just beginning to lighten.

"Yes, Grandfather. We'll meet you at exit 3 of the high-speed terminal station, so call ahead. Min-woo, A-rin! Wake up and get dressed quick."

BioAkashic CEO Baek Ho-chan had just finished talking with Grand Master Baek Bong-gon and was rousing the groggy kids.

"Mmm... where are we going...?"

"To visit Nami at the hospital. She's really sick right now."

The call cut off, and Yoon-seul couldn't hide her anxiety, jiggling her leg wildly beside him.

"How'd it go? Coming?"

"Yeah. They saw my message and left right away."

"Call in more connections you know."

"I'm kinda antisocial. Our department prof...? That might be overkill?"

"What kind of police interrogation keeps you up all night? I thought you'd been dragged off by the NIS."

Principal Gu On-yu, arms crossed in the back seat of the sedan, grilled Professor Cheon.

"Shut it and sit quiet."

Professor Cheon gripped the wheel curtly, his haggard face making him look even fiercer. Homeroom teacher Jacqueline ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Carol, dragged along and squeezed in the passenger seat, endured the tense air between the two war heroes.

Haa... Please let Nami be okay...

"Astarte...? You mean Asteria?"

"Oh yeah, that! Nami's favorite LoL champ."

"Seriously, did she lose her memory or something? Making us worry for no reason..."

"Sir, to Seoul XX Hospital, please."

Yoo Sia, the first clanmate to party with Nami, grabbed a taxi with the others after meeting up.

"No info? Even articles?"

"Articles are a mess. From 'no health issues' to 'terminal'—everyone's saying different things."

"What about Nami... hic... what if she forgets us...?"

The heavy mood stifled even jokes as tire noise echoed down the boulevard.

"Hey, I Ha-ru. Open the door."

It had been three days since contact with Nami cut off. Back at the academy, I Ha-ru barely ate. Her older sister I Bo-reum, going as manager to visit, decided to bring her along.

"We're going to see Nami now. Come on, I'll drive."