248 - A Biting Dog Doesn't Bark
Walpurgis's unprecedented apology video was obviously hiding some ulterior motive, even without overthinking it. In the video they uploaded, a high-ranking executive named Alzarqaoui stood side by side with twenty operatives wearing black hoods. Naturally, the like-to-dislike ratio hit 1:20, flooded with hate comments. Some media outlets and patriotic VTubers spun self-congratulatory reports claiming the terrorists were cowed by Korea's national defense, but that was way off base. What about them had seen that would make fanatics—who charged headlong at the strongest nation in human history, the United States, without a second thought—back off? The Holy Kingdom's example from my past life made it clear. They'd act all meek up front, signing peace treaties between humans and demons, only to conspire with the Empire behind the scenes, laying an inescapable net to capture me with every preparation in place.
"We love all the merciful children of God equally. But the unbelievers' overreaching slanders are disrupting the world, and we will never tolerate those who threaten this peace."
Walpurgis cunningly wove in Quranic doctrine, prattling on as if they genuinely desired world peace. As if that would get a good reaction. But dissecting the apology closely, their response did seem excessive. Islam doesn't treat children, women, or the elderly with special care. For its most extreme adherents to invoke egalitarianism was no small concession—it felt like they'd planned several moves ahead. I could sense they wanted to avoid clashing with me as much as possible. I didn't know why. And honestly, I had no desire to understand, nor any intention to in the future.
In the end, that worthless two-minute apology thoroughly pissed me off, forcing me to film my own video. Dangerous types were dangerous either way—better to keep a constant level of tension than get blindsided by betrayal after letting my guard down.
"Hello, it's NoName."
The most effective way to insult a religion? Mock the god and leaders they worship. In my past life, storming the Pope's chambers and yanking out every last strand of his hair would've done the trick. But in the civilized 21st century, I needed a 21st-century method.
"I'm filming this to thank all the citizens who worried about me. Thanks to the excellent medical staff at the hospital, I'm focusing on recovery, so please set aside your concerns for now. With such wonderful people around me, I must be truly blessed."
In this life, I'd met an astonishing number of good people. Pure, cute kids and friends of both genders; Professor Cheon, who always put me first; and countless connections from streaming. How long had it been since I'd lived a life this fortunate? I didn't want these precious days stolen by mentally polluted scum.
"I heard the police caught the perp through their tireless efforts. I won't forgive that bastard. But I'll just forget him for life. He's too insignificant to even register as part of mine. So pay your dues quietly where I won't see you. I've got so many happy days ahead—I don't want gloomy thoughts ruining them."
I furrowed my brow slightly, squinting my eyes. I pulled the camera close, filling the frame with my face.
"And Walpurgis, the perp already spilled everything about you making that magic bomb to take me out during the investigation. Why dodge now? Did Allah teach you that?"
Shooting from a low angle made my cheeks look too chubby—not ideal, but the best option. Very, a bit, a lot annoying. Perfect. Keep it like this.
"And what's with calling yourselves children of God? Did your boss sleep with Allah at night to birth me? Sorry, but I was born from my mom. Obviously a girl."
Get mad. And bark. Keep barking until the whole world muzzles and leashes you rabid dogs. For that, I could sacrifice any shame.
But... actually saying it was harder than expected. Whatever—I'm eight. I knew exactly how the world saw me now, giving me the power to pull this off. Holding back didn't suit me anyway.
I'm eight. I'm eight. I'm eight. I'm eight. I'm eight.
I recited my solemn prayer spell one last time and flashed a bright smile.
"Haha! You hacks can't even make one bomb right~! Come at me if you're mad—I’ll take you on anytime! Scared?"
Even I found it repulsive, so I frantically hit stop and chucked the camera across the bed.
"Hoo..."
If Walpurgis really had business with me, luring them to come directly was safer than them targeting my contacts. I should've handled it this way in my past life too—bitter regret lingered on my lips, making me lick them repeatedly.
Definitely not because I was embarrassed.
<실시간 베스트>
Korea's star NoName miraculously survives magic bomb terror (How did she survive? Whoa). Her latest video dropped a bombshell statement, racking up over 500K comments and turning the comment section into a battlefield.
What on earth did she say to provoke such a fierce reaction?
(hyperlink: Bomb Terror Update / Letter to Walpurgis – NoName Official)
Ah, right. NoName straight-up asked Walpurgis's leader if he had sex with Allah...(Note: Homosexuality is punishable by death in Islamic countries.) And she even replied to her own video to cap off the perfect troll.
We told her to do whatever, and now she's survived a terror attack only to face even more threats...
(Is this kid really 8? Wtf?)
Feels like her mental state is deteriorating more each day.
Walpurgis not commenting on my video at all ended up being more unsettling. It bummed out the soldiers on vacation planning, but the entire military got leave lockdown for a week. The Ministry of Defense couldn't be called overreactive—Walpurgis forces showed sudden large-scale movements. Finally starting to bark. Good sign they won't bite.
Instead, I gifted 1,000 subscriptions from my own pocket to my viewers still serving, sending sincere words of comfort.
Europe was the real shitshow. Nations prizing "freedom of expression" above all unleashed a barrage of savage cartoons. France's infamous weekly Charlie Hebdo kicked it off with nude sex art of "Allah" and Walpurgis's unidentified leader "the Sheikh." Thanks to that aggro, Muslims were building more resentment toward Western Europe than Korea.
This unedited impulse upload skipped even editor Seomaru, earning worry from friends. Unnecessary—I wasn't in Korea anymore.
"Nami student."
"..."
"Nami?"
"Yes?"
"How's the academy treating you?"
"Did Professor Cheon contact you?"
"Nah? Just curious."
"Yes, it's fine, Principal."
"But really, no word from Professor Cheon?"
"If you're worried, why not call him first?"
"No. He's busy with work."
After our blowout fight over me recklessly uploading that video, I'd been in full runaway mode. "Weird—he should be pacing by now."
How could someone be so cold? Sitting primly on the principal's office floor, I flipped through a Naruto comic without really seeing it, pretending to be chill.