155 - Honey Badgers Don't Give a Damn

"The Honey Badger Emperor Kariri, who ruled the Savanna World for 3,000 years. Fled temporarily to the human world after a coup sparked by endless drought. Now plotting a grand scheme to master every human subculture and truly understand her people's lives!"

—Kariri's intro blurb—

Stuff like this—unique backstories baked into VTuber characters—is collectively called RP, short for Role-Playing. The biggest difference between your average streamer rocking a plain avatar and a VTuber? VTubers act out a specific character.

There was no consensus on just how strictly you had to stick to RP to qualify as a VTuber. Boundaries blurred all the time as streams went on. But Kariri? She was a rare case—known far and wide as the "person inside" despite her ironclad RP that screamed VTuber to anyone watching.

This, even after her first year of streaming, when a slip-up revealed she was a middle schooler. And not just that—she'd been a trainee idol under the famous agency Entis.

"Kariri, didn't you collab with NoName before scrims and sing together?"

Dalttori poked her head into the scrim waiting room.

"Eek, who told you?!"

"Our viewers are spamming donations about it. Said you two got together to practice for World of Arceria but just messed around instead."

"Hee hee hee, getting chummy like this is all part of my victory strategy! A queen always sees the big picture."

Most VTubers handled leaks like this one of two ways: drop the RP and stream as their real self, or deny it, crack down, and double down on character.

Kariri? Different breed.

"Kariri, were you an idol trainee before?"

"Yep! Danced in front of lions tons of times!"

"Lions...?"

"She did idol stuff as a hobby back in the Savanna Kingdom," I explained to Dalttori, who managed a flustered nod of approval.

"Whoa... insane...!"

Dalttori's palms clapped together in the air.

"Not embarrassed...? Don't care at all?"

It was her way—holding VTuber identity while owning her past.

"Theoretically fine, but NoName's role sounds heavy. You cool with that?"

The director of team The Blory scowled. I'd just briefed him on our scrim strategy, and he'd reviewed every detail with his coaches.

"I'm good at running."

"Same for Kariri!"

Kariri sidled up, arms crossed, fist pumped high. How could anyone say no to that grin? Her innocence won over the staff.

"One game. If it flops, scrapped. Okay?"

"Sweet."

"Scrim time!"

"Good luck. The... Blory, fighting! Aish, gotta watch that pronunciation—who names a team like this?!"

"Director, Kariri's gonna win this!"

She answered scandals with confidence, not excuses.

'Hoyamuyaho,' one of NoName's oldest viewers, eyes sparkling with hype.

Ding-ding-dingg~

He locked the front door, kicked off his shoes haphazardly, and dove onto the couch. Realizing too late his bag was still on, the boy chucked it to the floor.

Three hours trapped at math cram school. His stiff back finally relaxed.

Slipping out of his uniform—name tag reading Seol Taeyang—into PJs, the TV-phone link kicked in. Twishi's live scrim feed started.

NoName in a scrim. Teamed with Kariri, no less. Taeyang found it wild.

Who could've guessed? The streamer he'd stumbled on while scrolling to dodge vacation homework was a girl his age. Now a rank-shattering powerhouse, big corp, collabing with Kariri.

Watching her grow filled him with weird pride.

Even a practice game burned tournament-hot. Taeyang recognized Han Yongcheol's urgent shouts—he'd heard the name endless times.

NoName's first-person view shook wildly. Her sword carved a path through clashing soldiers in a narrow pass.

Not one-on-one. 6v6 players, 50v50 with minions—full war. NoName shone in the chaos.

Calm, precise orders amid shifting formations.

Tiny Kariri thumbs-upped. After 20+ minutes and just 5 deaths, her level dominated. But 20k HP looked shaky.

Bold as ever, Kariri charged fiercer today. A spear tip lanced from the melee tangle—aimed at ice mage Dalttori.

Clang—

Kariri's timely join saved her from close-range doom. Dalttori thanked her nonstop.

Trusting NoName's heals, Kariri stormed forward. Swords clashed to block her—metal screeching, sparks flying.

Surrounded by soldiers, Kariri reddened slowly. Deflecting stabs grew tough. HP ticked down by the second.

But NoName's timely heals and backline fire support poured in.

Kariri swung her claw wildly, groaning. Blind swings in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠tight quarters hit someone.

It worked—a gap cracked in the enemy line.

NoName wouldn't miss it. Taeyang's prediction nailed it.

She vaulted allied soldiers, diving in. Her junk sword became an executioner's tool. Item grade? Irrelevant.

Critical hit—bonus damage like a 30% legendary. 'Critical' flashed over the chest slash.

No mercy—she severed limbs. Another 'Critical.'

Human or what?

Taeyang had seen this in VTube challenger/pro highlight reels. Stuff rare even once per game—now NoName's routine.

Clang!

Parry success—flank sliced. Crimson flash burst, massive bleed—enemy panic palpable.

Enemies deemed facing NoName too risky—retreat. Enemy Yggdrasil right ahead. Victory all but sealed!

Taeyang's thoughts halted there.

Out of NoName's heal range, Kariri upped her death count. Jerked back, lost balance—pinned like a pincushion by dozens of spears.

Taeyang sat up, gutted.

Team's sole tank gone. Numbers disadvantage, no frontliner—pushing rashly risked disaster.

Teammates bummed too. Taeyang felt it.

Bold strat: yield respawn, charge enemy Yggdrasil. Even if Kariri rushed back, fight flow could flip.

What would NoName do? Charging now seemed iffy. Taeyang pondered alongside.

Kariri bailed mid-scrim. Chat watching the tourney feed erupted.

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

Theories flew wild—delivery, neighbor, stalker. No time to watch. Taeyang bolted to the door.

Silent. TV loud, but not that loud for a doorbell.

"Shit! Sis! Siiiis! Seol Yunseul!"

Crash—tripped over a table, stuff spilled. Ankle throbbed, but he grabbed pills from the master bedroom.

"Can't live like this!"

Into another distant room—door clicked open. Corner cluttered with Post-its and bromides, pink capsule sat alone.

Fist slammed the red button dead center.

Hiss— capsule whirred open.

"Haa... haa..."

The girl grimaced, mouth gaping like a fish. Deep breaths fogged the glass.

"Who forces logout right before end?! Sane?! Take your damn meds!"

"Huu... haa... can't... breathe... sob..."

"Said come out if symptoms hit! Why stubborn?!"

Taeyang couldn't hide his worry at her near-death face. Forced the anti-anxiety pill in, shoved a water cup to make her swallow.

"Haa... huu... kuh don't wanna die..."

"You won't."

"Scary. Why everyone... to me... huu... really dying... this time for real..."

"Breathe. Now."

"Hwaaaang..."

Tears streamed endless down pale cheeks. Hands clutched chest, trembling violently.

Taeyang rubbed his pounding head, sighed deep, stayed till her panic eased. Clock hands ticked rounds; breaths steadied.

Sudden grip on his hand—he looked.

"Did... we win?"

Taeyang checked his phone, baffled, showed his sister in the capsule.

"Haaa you're worried about that now...? Oh! Thanks!"

"Good..."

Kariri—no, Seol Yunseul. She really wasn't right in the head.