Chapter 12
Chapter 12
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 12
Chapter Title: An Unsettling Question
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I was practicing, but my mind was elsewhere.
Not only were my thoughts spiraling, but my worries were, too, growing larger and larger.
‘Everyone here is desperate to make it. If I use my knowledge of the future as an advantage to debut, I'd essentially be stealing their chance... Is that really okay?’
If heaven took pity on me and gave me this opportunity, I felt I shouldn't use it this way.
An inexplicable feeling of unease and guilt.
And yet, a desire bloomed in a corner of my heart.
My mind was a mess.
“Seo Yoon-seul. Can't you get your head in the game?”
The dancer in charge of the A-rank trainees raised his voice at me.
He had every right to.
I was so lost in thought that I was the only one failing to keep up with the pace of the practice.
“Why are you so out of it all of a sudden? We can't make any progress because of you!”
“I'm sorry.”
I quickly apologized to the other trainees.
I couldn't let practice be delayed any further because of me, so I slapped my own cheeks.
‘Snap out of it. At this rate, I'll be eliminated in the next round. What am I doing, getting lost in thought during practice?’
Not only did I not want to waste the other trainees' time, but I couldn't afford to be eliminated like this.
If I get eliminated here, I'll have only done ‘RED CUBE’ a favor, while I won't have seized any opportunity for myself.
Some of the trainees who were unfortunately eliminated from ‘RED CUBE’, despite being a bit older, were cast by other agencies and successfully re-debuted in different groups.
Of course, not all of those groups succeeded.
But they didn't completely flop, either.
[I don't know why I feel so much sympathy whenever I see kids from RED CUBE. Is this some kind of pre-stanning denial? I just can't bring myself to ignore them.]
↳Same here. Maybe it's because we all got a glimpse of how desperate they were...?
↳I think we all became emotionally invested in them while watching RED CUBE.
↳Even if we weren't idols, we've all had dreams or goals in life and worked hard for them. Because of those memories, it's hard to just ignore someone who's trying to get back up after a failure.
↳This. This is it. And if you have any humanity, you can't just walk past someone that desperate.
The public highly valued their desperation and effort.
That's what I was hoping for when I joined this program.
Hoping they would recognize my own desperation and effort.
‘For now, let's stop overthinking and just focus on practice. I'm not even in the debut lineup yet, so there's no need to get ahead of myself and waver.’
“I'll focus properly. I'm sorry.”
“Alright. Let's start again.”
Practice resumed.
“The people on the right will turn right, and the people on the left will turn left. There's a formation change right after the turn, so pay close attention.”
We'd already been told to learn the choreography on our own, but the reason a dedicated instructor was suddenly assigned to us was that the details of the dance and the formations had changed.
“Haru. You try standing here in the center.”
“Yes.”
At the dancer's words, Haru took the center position, receiving envious glances from the other trainees.
The center.
It might not seem like a big deal, but it was incredibly important.
It was obvious the production team wouldn't give everyone equal screen time for their individual shots.
‘If you're in the center, you're bound to get more camera time, even in group shots.’
We began rearranging our formation with Haru as the main center.
Nothing major changed, but the details were constantly being tweaked, so we couldn't let our guard down for a single moment.
If you looked away for even a second, the lesson would jump ahead, and it was a struggle just to catch up.
Still, it was better than preparing for the year-end stages.
‘Back then, I felt like an AI programmed to memorize choreography and formations.’
Each broadcast station had a completely different arrangement style, and the preparation time was so short that I had to practice with the mindset of memorizing everything after seeing it just once.
Who knew that experience would be so helpful now?
“You all know you have vocal practice tomorrow, right?”
“Yes.”
“Don't be too discouraged if you didn't become the main dancer. There are ten of you, so after the vocal lesson, a main vocalist will be chosen. You'll also be assigned parts. But be prepared, because the formations might change a little depending on your parts.”
The moment I heard the dancer's words, it wasn't the changing formations that concerned me; another thought popped into my head.
The position I should aim for is main vocalist.
‘That, I might have a shot at.’
***
Practice ended around 10 PM.
We had only eaten a single lunch box before continuing to practice, so I was a little hungry.
The production team provided us with pajamas that had the letter 'A' for our rank printed on the front and back.
Looking at it felt a little strange.
‘The trainees in F-rank must feel pretty awful.’
Following the staff's instructions that we would be rooming by rank, we headed to the dorms.
“Here you are.”
A plaque with the letter 'A' was also hanging on the door.
I opened the door to find a large room packed with bunk beds.
Perhaps to prevent fights, name tags were attached to the beds.
My spot was a bottom bunk in the far corner.
When you're sharing a room with many people, a corner spot is highly coveted.
It's a place where you can have some quiet, and it sometimes even gives you the illusion of having your own personal space.
‘I got lucky.’
“From now on, it's free time. Those who want to use the practice rooms may do so freely. However, the last person to leave must turn off the lights. Please make phone calls outside to avoid disturbing the other trainees' rest.”
“Okay.”
Once the staff left, the people in the room began to move.
Some placed their pajamas on their beds and left with a towel and a tumbler to continue practicing, while others took their phones and headed out.
‘What should I do?’
I considered practicing the choreography more, but I decided it was also important to manage my condition, and that it would be better to familiarize myself with the song for tomorrow's vocal practice.
‘Alright. I'll wash up first and then analyze the sheet music.’
I had sweated a lot during practice, so I quickly gathered my things and headed to the shower room.
But suddenly, someone draped an arm over my shoulder.
“Hey.”
I tilted my head at the friendly greeting and turned around.
It was Kang Ju-hyeok.
“Hello.”
I greeted him with a baffled expression.
I racked my brain to see if I'd known Kang Ju-hyeok before, but I was certain this was our first time meeting.
I hadn't even heard about him through the grapevine.
I wondered if he had mistaken me for someone else.
“Hey, are you still in touch with Su-hyeol?”
For a moment, I instinctively checked my surroundings for cameras.
There were no cameras in the hallway. We had also already turned in our microphones.
“Don't worry. We're right in front of the shower room, so there's nothing here. The production staff aren't perverts; they wouldn't film us on our way to wash up.”
Seeing my reaction, Kang Ju-hyeok gave me a playful smile.
“So you can speak freely.”
For some reason, I had a bad feeling.
After spending six years in the entertainment industry, I had developed an eye for people.
This industry was full of people wearing perfect masks.
Hadn't I been completely fooled by my own group members?
Since then, I'd developed a habit of keeping my distance and observing people.
‘He's smiling, but his eyes look like someone with an agenda.’
“Looks like you're surprised I'd suddenly ask something like this.”
“Yes.”
I decided it would be best to keep my distance and answered with a hesitant voice.
“Sorry. I'm a bit on edge myself, so I didn't think about that. So, are you in touch with him?”
“No.”
“Really?”
Kang Ju-hyeok raised an eyebrow as if surprised.
“...No way.”
Then he muttered something to himself.
His voice was so quiet I couldn't make out a single word.
“Sorry?”
“It's nothing. Just talking to myself.”
When I reacted like I hadn't heard him, Kang Ju-hyeok patted my back a couple of times and brushed it off as if he were just joking around.
“Then, did Su-hyeol ever tell you anything?”
“About what?”
I had no idea what story Kang Ju-hyeok wanted to hear.
‘Why did he suddenly show up and ask about that? The guy hasn't even had a single sighting since he left the group over the school violence controversy.’
“You know, stuff about his school days. Did you hear anything while you were together?”
The smile I had been forcing on my face vanished at his words.
“I don't understand why you're asking me that.”
My tone also grew sharper than before.
“Ah. I'm not trying to connect you with Park Su-hyeol's wrongdoing.”
Kang Ju-hyeok held up both hands as if to prove his innocence.
Then he looked at me with the most innocent eyes he could muster.
He seemed completely unaware that this only made him look more suspicious.
“It's just that I knew Park Su-hyeol a little in middle school, and I was worried he might have said something strange about me. I'm here thinking of this as my last chance, so I can't get caught up in any pointless rumors.”
Kang Ju-hyeok rambled on, perhaps trying to dispel my suspicion.
It felt completely different from when Lee Ho-jun had explained his sincere feelings to me.
If someone asked me what was different, I couldn't explain it in words, but that's just how it felt.
If Lee Ho-jun was sincere and straightforward, Kang Ju-hyeok was like a sly snake.
“Didn't you hear that the producer even called our schools this time?”
After a contestant on the survival show he directed before ‘RED CUBE’ was embroiled in a school violence controversy, the producer had personally called the schools this time to verify the facts. This was something we all knew, having heard it from the writer.
“I heard. I did. But you know how rumors can create more rumors. I just wanted to be extra sure.”
It sounded like an excuse.
I just wanted to get out of there.
“Anyway, if you say no, then that's that.”
Kang Ju-hyeok removed his arm from my shoulder. Then, as if he hadn't been on his way to the shower after all, he strode off down the opposite end of the hall.