The Worst Thing to Do at a Funeral

* Tatata dot!

"What the...?"

"Who is it?! Who's the one who got it?!"

"Who's NyaNya?"

The top rankers waiting at the outpost rushed straight to the ogre lair the moment the news hit. Today's ogre hunt in the ogre colony was Hajin's guild's gig. Sounds like Hajin was raking in mad gains, but that wasn't the only reason. Steady ogre culls weakened the 'demonic' forces controlling the area, preventing attacks on human turf. Taking down ogres was a noble duty for heroes saving the world.

"Hajin!"

"Hajin-nim!"

"Did you do it?! Who's NyaNya?"

"Is NyaNya one of your guildies?"

Suinjoa and the top rankers spotted Hajin and came running. Hajin and his guildies stood dumbfounded in front of the altar, just as baffled.

'No way, fix this?'

Hajin ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had tipped off his sister Haring on the strategy, but only up to phase 2. He didn't know the rest well, and even if he did, he never thought they'd clear it.

'Six people.'

Not sixty, not sixteen—just six. No matter their levels or gear, six people downing Ogre Lord shattered his common sense. He'd figured they'd fail and call for backup...

'Should've told 'em they could one-shot it...'

Super awkward, but what was done was done. Sure, he wanted Ogre Lord dead ASAP, but this was premium intel he'd traded resources and time for. No finisher? At least raid participation rewards to break even.

"Should've dragged it out to three months instead of three weeks."

Hajin muttered under his breath, shaking his head at the crowding players.

"Wasn't us."

"Then who?"

"Right! You were hunting today, so it had to be you!"

"NyaNya's not your guildie? One of the streamers?"

‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠

"Nah..."

Hajin turned. Haring and the others hadn't emerged yet; no clue what went down inside. No idea how they cleared phase 3 blind. His eyes caught a woman ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with flowing purple hair approaching from afar.

Clack. Clack.

"Lady Yeoje."

Cheon-sang's vice guild master, Yeoje. Rank 8.

"Just heard. Ogre Lord's down."

"Not us."

"From what I gathered on the way, NyaNya's a hero trained by the Red Mountain dragon."

"......"

"Looks like the dragon's disciples did this."

"For real?!"

"Yeoje! That true?"

"Pretty much. Party size was way too small for a normal raid group."

The top rankers buzzed at Yeoje's words. It'd come out eventually, but way too fast.

'Fine. Time to blow it up bigger.'

Out of his control anyway. Hajin decided to spill it all. He nodded, turning on his stream.

"Wanna wait together? I'm curious who they are too."

"Heh heh heh... Why not..."

Rumble rumble rumble...

"Wha...?"

Sudden tremors. The gathered rankers flinched, looking up.

Crack crack craaaack...!!

The altar began crumbling.

Like time itself had frozen, the icy inner sanctum. NyaNya collapsed from the extreme cold, while the remaining three hammered the ogre relentlessly. Normally it'd shred heroes with insane specs and patterns, but head-to-toe frozen solid. A frozen ogre could do jack.

"We got it?!"

"Did we finish it?!"

"Chill on the revival flag, dude."

Haring's sword fully severed the ogre's neck. Contrary to her revival fears, fireworks went pop pop~ and a message window popped up.

"I tanked and I get zilch!!!"

"NyaNya basically carried."

"DoT must've sealed it."

"Evan-deng..."

Haring poked the ogre corpse sulkily, but not truly bummed. She and NyaNya shone brightest; without NyaNya's staff, it'd been rough. DPS graph? NyaNya topped it.

"Should've let NyaNya land the finisher."

"Nah. Phases regenerate the body, so probably not."

"Ah..."

Whatever. Subjugation complete. System messages flooded in; levels hit early 60s. Lea's quest reward pending report, but others hit.

Haring grinned, checking titles and drops, then glanced back.

Drip drip drip...

The frozen ogre still down. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Sanctum still frigid; without prep gear, they'd be goners too.

Drip drip drip...

Subjugation success, quest cleared.

But...

"Why..."

"Let's go see Lea-chan!"

"Why aren't we out?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

Hidni and Kazen finally clocked it. Boss down = eject from altar. But post-rewards, still trapped.

Drip drip drip...

That eerie water sound. The 'frozen' black demon goo kept flowing.

Lurch!

The ogre rose. Body frozen, neck gone—Ogre Lord!

"Fuck. It really revives?!"

"I said no revival flags!!!"

"The worst thing to do at a funeral!!"

Haring and the three whipped out weapons, charging. Early 60s hits were fierce, but black mana from ogre's fingertips faster.

Spluuurt!

Haring's chest pierced.

'Ma...gic?'

Ogre casting? Unbelievable stare at ogre—but not the ogre. Higher up. Faint black skull apparition puppeteering the corpse.