A Duel Unworthy of the Name

Surely there had to be someone. A duel is inherently sacred, whether it's a knight's battle, a clash between nobles, or even a scrap between mercenaries... 'Or maybe not?' Anyway, duels are sacred things, and over my 300 years of life, I'd accepted countless challenges.

The reason was simple. Because I'm a dragon.

"You bastard! Dragon! Your wicked deeds end here!"

"How dare you torment the villagers!"

Young heroes who firmly believed in fairy-tale stories straight out of ancient picture books and slapped me with challenge letters...

"Heh heh heh. If I can just peel off one of those scales and sell it, I'll be rich."

"While I distract it, you guys raid the treasure vault... Gahhh!!"

There were also those who lunged at my body or my treasures. Dragon flesh was occasionally used as material for high-quality gear or magic tools. I couldn't deny it was good stuff, but spare a thought for the dragon hearing about it.

"How would you feel if someone wanted to rip off a piece of your body?"

The examples above might not exactly qualify as sacred, but I'd never treated a duel like a joke. Anyone bold enough to challenge me had that much confidence, after all.

"A duel? Sure."

Especially among the challengers, there were those who sought a pure contest of might. Tiny-bodied weaklings daring to assault a mountain. No matter how annoying it got, I always respected their dueling spirit.

"Ready?"

"...Hold on."

The open clearing in my nest. My nest consisted of a massive clearing big enough for my dragon form to roll around in, and a cozy inner chamber. In the clearing, polymorph form me and Levent stared each other down.

Haring, whom I'd made arrive early and do some rough training, was watching from the nest entrance. Yongba hadn't shown up yet... Well, I'd given permission, so he'd come on his own time.

I spun my fist in circles, finishing my prep.

'This is gonna be fun.'

It had been at least 50 years since my last real challenge.

"Begin?"

"Not fighting as a dragon?"

"Nah. It'd end too quick."

Just stomp or breathe fire, and poof—dead. That wasn't a duel. Sure, the gap was huge and it was a hassle, so ending it like that was fine. But this was a contest of strength. He wasn't one of those thieves from last time, so I'd humor him a bit.

I grinned, waiting for his signal to start, but Levent just stared into space, hesitating without moving. I tilted my head.

"What? Getting cold feet now?"

"No... Why isn't this popping up... Hey, bros, hold on."

"?"

"Hey! Promise me one thing!"

"What?"

Promise?

"If I achieve something meaningful in this fight, you'll reward me."

"...? Why?"

"Because you're a great dragon! You have to acknowledge me if I even scratch you a little."

"What?"

"I can't beat you. The gap between human and dragon is clear. But if I pull off the best a human can do, you have to recognize me and..."

He'd challenged me for that? My enthusiasm deflated in an instant. Not for the pure duel itself, but just for fame and rewards? I'd thought he was a bold, amusing apprentice hero. The excitement and anticipation I'd felt for ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the first time in ages crashed ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hard.

And in its place? Crushing boredom and annoyance.

"....."

"Alright, then let's beg—"

"Begin."

FWOOOM!!

I launched forward the second I said it. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠One hit.

CRUNCH!!

Levent's head exploded.

"Lame. Idiot."

"Gone again."

I turned away without a second thought after smashing the apprentice hero's head. Was this the goddess's power? He'd turned into blue crystals and vanished like he'd teleported somewhere.

"Sigh."

Just when I'd gotten interested for once, it fizzled out, doubling the annoyance.

'He'll live or die on his own.'

Whatever. Levent or whatever was perma-banned now. If he wanted a real duel, do it right; if he chickened out midway, just forfeit cleanly. "Acknowledge my achievements" my ass?

"Not cool."

Really not cool at all. Even those thieves from last time were better. What the hell?

I kicked idly at the ground before heading into the nest.

There had been a decent crowd of apprentice heroes near the nest before the duel, but now they were all gone. Guess the commotion shocked them good.

"Should've done this from the start?"

If I'd threatened them aggressively instead of just yelling, maybe I'd have scared them all off...

Whoosh! Whoosh!

"Two thousand four hundred sixty... Ah! Little Flame Dragon!"

"Haring."

"I've been training hard like you said!"

Haring was swinging her sword as instructed. Basics are key to learning anything. She'd circled the nest 300 times; now it was time for 10,000 swings.

Proper training would've required 100,000+, but...

'She's just an apprentice.'

Not a real hero, just one of hundreds. This much was plenty. The old hag could fill in the gaps.

I passed her and headed deeper into the nest.

"Yongba?"

"Uh, dunno? Said something about business."

"Huh."

He'd show up eventually.

Plop.

I flopped onto the soft fluff. No more pests, so nap time—but for some reason, sleep wouldn't come.

Too much hype, maybe.

'Well...'

Heroes my foot—not real ones anyway. A true hero wouldn't be lounging around here.

Probably off fighting ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠on bigger battlefields, following in the legends' footsteps, even if they couldn't surpass them...

'...Right?'

Surely there were some.

"Haring."

"Two thousand one hundred seventy... two hundred eight... Huh? Yes?"

"All heroes these days like that?"

"Like what?"

"No proper ones?"

"Hmm... If you mean the vanguard team, yeah there are some."

"Right?"

Yeah. No way there weren't. Even if the goddess was senile, there had to be two or three real heroes. Legion commanders would be no match for them—

"But they probably aren't much better than Yongba? Stats at least, gear aside."

"Huh?"

"That Levent guy you saw today was an ace there... Oh, not anymore?"

"???"