Lunch Under Staring Eyes, As Usual
The stares today were just as sharp as ever while I tried to get through lunch. The fox-eared beast-girl who had suddenly appeared at an all-boys school drew the eyes of the lunch ladies again today, just like yesterday.
“Aigoo, is that really him? So cute~!”
“Yeah, it is.”
My rumor had already spread like wildfire among the aunties, so there wasn’t a single one who didn’t recognize me. The volume was too high to ignore, so I gave a slight bow as I accepted the food. Even as I walked past, the lady couldn’t stop talking.
“Haigu, how can that be a boy?”
“They say it’s some kind of disease. Now he’s a girl.”
“Disease? Then he needs to eat a lot. Should I give him more?”
Their rich, auntie-style dialect rang loudly in my ears. Their sky-high energy was more than I could handle, so I ended up refusing the pork cutlet I usually loved so much.
“I-I’m fine….”
Even after I received my soup, rice, and side dishes, the stares followed me. Eating lunch shouldn’t be this difficult. Only after I sat down at a chair behind a pillar did I finally feel a little free from those burdensome gazes.
After that chaotic lunch passed, I somehow made it safely through seventh period thanks to the awkward consideration from my teacher and classmates.
“Make sure you don’t wander around late and worry your parents. And call them first before you go anywhere.”
“Yes—”
Formal end-of-day greetings and responses were being exchanged right now. Every day, this was the moment when students’ moods split in two. Some were forced to go to academies or stay for evening study hall. Others, like me, just headed straight home. Following yesterday’s pattern, I grabbed my bag and joined the group leaving.
“PC bang?”
“Yeah.”
Right outside the school gate, the noisy voices of students freshly liberated from class mixed together in a chaotic buzz. I stood out more than anyone, but with the thought of going home fresh in their minds, all they could think about was having fun. Of course I still received plenty of curious looks, but I managed to get home without any real trouble.
I entered the familiar four-digit passcode on the door lock. At the beep, I twisted the handle, opened the door, and called out.
“I’m home—”
With a relaxed voice, I stepped inside and opened the inner door. After the sliding sound, Mom’s voice reached me.
“Why didn’t you call?”
Her tone was unusually sharp. The moment she asked why I hadn’t called, I realized my mistake.
“…Ah, I forgot.”
“That ‘I forgot’ again.”
When I answered with a short sigh, Mom scolded me as if she expected nothing less, even throwing in “that guy” for good measure.
“Aigoo, what’s the point of buying you a phone?”
Soon after, sounding frustrated, she grumbled about buying me a phone for nothing while getting ready to head out belatedly. But I really hadn’t thought of it. Without any other reply to Mom’s nagging, I took off my sneakers, went inside, and set my bag down in my room.
The first thing I saw upon entering was my little sister sitting in front of the computer. She noticed someone had come in, then asked as if she’d overheard the conversation with Mom.
“Where you going?”
“To buy clothes.”
Our conversations usually didn’t last more than three sentences. Still, our sibling relationship wasn’t bad. From what I’d heard from a few friends, no matter what question they asked their sisters, the immediate response was “fuck off.” So the fact that we actually exchanged answers meant we were better off than some households.
A little later, the place Mom took me to was, of course, the department store. And among all the sections, we ended up in the women’s clothing corner—the one full of fluttering clothes that I’d never paid any attention to before.
This place carried a scent that didn’t suit men at all. It was a suspicious space permitted only to women and the men dragged along by them. The only clear memory I had was being dragged along on Mom’s shopping trips as a kid and sitting bored in a chair by the counter for hours.
“Pick out anything you want to wear.”
Mom pointed at the clothes hanging in a row on the rack. Even though I had been a guy until just a few days ago, she was telling me to choose women’s clothes I wanted to wear. No matter how hard I tried to pick something, nothing caught my eye.
“Anything’s fi—”
“There’s no such thing as ‘anything.’”
The moment I tried to leave it to Mom’s taste and answer with “anything,” she cut me off sharply, as if she had predicted it. Her firm attitude left me speechless, so I looked at the rack again. Was it weird that I didn’t have anything I wanted to wear here? I mean, I was a guy until two days ago?
In the end, time passed with almost no progress.
“You really don’t have a single thing you want to wear?”
Mom, who had finally run out of patience, came back with a few outfits in her arms. She must have picked them out while I was hesitating.
“Yeah, I don’t.”
“Aigoo, even after turning into a girl, the kid’s still like this.”
When I answered that I really didn’t want to wear anything, Mom sighed, saying even after becoming a girl, I was still the same.
“Here, if you don’t know, just try these on.”
“Okay….”
Soon Mom handed me the clothes she had picked and practically shoved them into my hands, telling me to try them if I couldn’t decide. If she was going to do that, she could have just chosen from the beginning. I grumbled inwardly as I stepped into the fitting room.
Inside the cramped department store fitting room that wasn’t even two square meters. I hung the clothes I was holding on the wall one by one. For tops, there was a thin long-sleeved shirt and a short-sleeved tee. For bottoms, there were summer shorts and longer pants for spring or fall. It looked like she was buying summer and fall clothes in advance.
Has she already decided I’m living as a girl…?
I felt strange about Mom’s odd choice of handing me summer and fall clothes instead of ones I could wear right away. What if I turned back to normal before summer? Maybe she thought she could just pass them on to my sister?
For now, I took off the clothes I was wearing one by one and started trying on the short-sleeved tee and shorts in order.
My back feels empty.
There was no problem putting them on, but the real issue was my tail sticking out blatantly between the shirt and pants. A cool breeze brushed against the bare skin exposed under the shirt that my tail was holding down. At this rate, I wouldn’t even be able to wear long underwear in winter. It was fine now since it was April, but I was worried about later.
While I was feeling troubled by the skin I couldn’t hide, there was a short knock on the fitting room door.
“Are you still not done?”
The voice that followed the knock was Mom’s. At the familiar voice, I answered quickly.
“I’m dressed.”
“Then come out quickly.”
At her urging to hurry, I opened the door and stepped out.
“Oh, that looks good? Stand up straight.”
Mom let out a short exclamation as she looked at me. She seemed quite satisfied. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the back of the shirt. My fluffy tail kept trying to assert its presence.
“But my tail…”
“There’s nothing we can do about that. I said stand up straight.”
When I trailed off while holding the hem of the shirt’s back, Mom gestured for me to stand properly anyway. I tugged at the hem a few times to adjust it. After looking at me from a little farther away, Mom smiled with satisfaction.
“Aigoo, our son has become incredibly pretty.”
“…Is that a compliment?”
Instead of “handsome,” she said “pretty” to her son. I tilted my head unconsciously at Mom’s praise and asked.
“Aigoo, of course it is!”
Mom answered in a much louder voice. Her thoughtless compliment made the nearby clerk, who had been glancing at us, start to look strange too. She was probably thinking something like, That face is a guy?
…There are some very complicated special circumstances.
“You still have clothes you haven’t tried, right? Give me what you’re wearing now and come out after changing into those.”
“Okay.”
Mom, completely ignoring the clerk’s gaze, urged me to quickly try on the next outfit. Her strangely excited tone made me answer shortly before heading back into the fitting room.
I took off the short-sleeved tee and shorts in an instant. This time, what I held in my hands was a thin long-sleeved shirt and jeans. But what had been bothering me since earlier was Mom. She had looked strangely happy from the beginning.
As I pushed my head through the neck of the shirt, a question rose in my mind.
Why…?
When I couldn’t decide what to wear, she got annoyed, but now she smiled the moment I came out after changing. It was literally up and down. I couldn’t figure out Mom’s mood at all.
Anyway, I changed into the long-sleeved shirt and jeans as requested and came out.
“Ooh~!”
Once again, a mysterious exclamation burst out. I could see Mom’s cheekbones rising high. She seemed extremely satisfied.
“Let’s just buy a few more in the same size. Change back into your original clothes.”
Then, as if there was no need to think any further, Mom handed me the clothes I had come in and told me to change back. Wouldn’t it be fine to just pay and wear them out? At that question, I reflexively spoke without thinking.
“Can’t we just pay and go?”
“We have to wash them before wearing them at home.”
At Mom’s few words spoken as if it were obvious, I didn’t argue anymore. I just thought, I guess that’s how it is, and let it go.
After changing back in the fitting room and coming out, Mom, who had finished paying for everything—including the clothes I had just worn—handed me all the paper bags filled in both hands.
“Here, they’re your clothes, so you carry them.”
It was perfectly logical that since they were my clothes, I should be the one to carry them. After that, with both hands full of paper bags, Mom, who had already stepped onto the escalator first, said,
“Want to get something to eat before we go?”
“Huh? Yeah!”
I quickly seized the unexpected offer before it could slip away. It felt like lightning had struck my dazed head. If we were eating something at the mart, it would definitely be the food court. From my perspective, there was absolutely no reason to refuse.
“You answer well when it comes to food.”
“Hehehe.”
I responded to Mom’s half-exasperated complaint with a sly laugh. The large mart’s food court was filled with the chaotic ringing of the ding-dong bell and the clatter of dishes being washed.
“You’re getting the pork cutlet anyway, right?”
“Yeah.”
I gave a short answer to Mom’s question as she stood in front of the kiosk. My order was always set in stone. The top priority was always pork cutlet. Mom looked over the rice cooker dishes and ordered something. Probably bulgogi bibimbap or something like that.
About ten minutes after we finished ordering, the ding-dong sounded and our meals were brought out one after another. Crispy pork cutlet drenched in sauce. Cute little rice balls, udon, and a clear broth. The presentation was seriously stimulating my appetite.
“Can’t you keep that tail and those ears still?”
“Huh?”
Just as I was about to pick up my spoon, Mom’s words made me pause. Ears and tail? Why? Wondering what she meant, I touched my head and tail. They were staying still just fine. At my puzzled expression, Mom said,
“Never mind. Just eat. Mom will take a video.”
“…?? Okay.”
One big bite of pork cutlet soaked in sauce, one mouthful of udon.
“Here, look.”
While I was happily munching away, Mom soon handed me her phone, which had been recording me. The video was mixed with all kinds of noise from the food court. In the screen, I took bites of the pork cutlet and udon, then my tail wagged furiously while my ears trembled.
…What the hell is this? That’s supposed to be me?