Catnip Doesn't Work on Foxes

It was Saturday morning after I was safely discharged from the hospital. I set the game aside for a while and kept searching for a long time, trying to figure out how to use the money that had landed in my hands as efficiently as possible. Yet my eyes kept snagging on those bizarre price tags. Why are computer prices like this? Just a short while ago I could pick up a decent desktop at a reasonable cost, but the prices had shot up in the strangest way.

Wondering if this particular seller was the weird one, I checked other PCs, but the situation was more or less the same. Items that used to hover around 800,000 won were now 950,000 won, and the main unit that had been 1.2 million was suddenly listed at 1.4 or even 1.5 million. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford them, but even I wasn’t numb enough to money to casually swipe my card for a price that had suddenly exploded. There was a normal range I was used to spending, and it was only natural to feel resistance when the cost of something jumped without warning. Sensing something was off, I ran a separate search. The keyword I typed in was “computer prices rising.”

The conclusion was staring me in the face without having to look anywhere else. Supply shortage due to the explosion in artificial intelligence demand…. Apparently big corporations were scrambling to buy up every computer component they could because of this rapidly advancing AI. It felt strangely complicated to hear the reason for the price hike from the artificial intelligence that had caused it in the first place. So the computer prices jumped because of you? It was talking as if this had nothing to do with it.

Then it’s because of you, you bastard.

Feeling unfairly wronged for no good reason, I hurled the insult at the AI. I didn’t actually expect venting like that to fix anything, but the words had slipped out before I could stop myself.

A loading bar spun round and round. After thinking for a long time, the artificial intelligence finally gave its reply.

This tin-can AI had the audacity to answer a person’s swearing with more questions. Was the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠important part right now why I was angry? It was so ridiculous that I simply closed the internet window. You don’t have the right to ask me anything.

What a waste for no reason.

After shutting the search window, I crossed my arms with a sour face and stared at the monitor from a distance. Whatever the cause, the fact that computer prices had already skyrocketed was undeniable. My plans had gone wrong from the very first day after discharge, and it was giving me a headache. I had been ready to spend the money with an open heart, but… if the price suddenly jumped nearly twenty percent, even I would hesitate.

Besides, even if I buy a computer, there’s no space to put it….

Once my head cooled off, I finally noticed the state of our room. There simply wasn’t enough space to bring a new computer in here. Even if my new machine arrived, I had a feeling it would end up living in the living room.

Then how about a laptop at least…?

After a dramatic internal compromise, the conclusion I reached was a laptop. It was something I probably would have asked Mom to buy someday anyway, and at this size I figured I could keep it on my own desk.

Now that I had an answer, I acted immediately. What I started looking for was none other than a gaming laptop.

At least a million…. Of course this option was just as expensive as a desktop. Still, if the house gained one more computer-like device, at least we wouldn’t have to fight over it anymore. With that thought I looked at laptops in a more positive light. Even if it cost a fair amount, the fact that it was a small computer I could place on the desk made it the perfect fit for our room. Convinced there was no better solution, I pulled the trigger right away.

One million two hundred thousand won vanished from my account in the blink of an eye. Even though a huge sum had flown away, I felt surprisingly refreshed. At the very least, there would be no more fights with Hyunseo ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠over the computer. The end of our long, long quarrel was finally in sight.

After I had coolly finished buying the laptop, Hyunseo came home while I was playing games after lunch. Even when I heard rustling sounds in the room, our only communication was a quick glance at each other. Then a question I had been curious about popped into my head, so I asked.

“What did you do for your Parents’ Day gift?”

“Me? I bought carnations and gave them.”

Hyunseo answered the short question right away. She had probably bought the carnations that were being sold around this time. It was an ordinary gift, if anything. For a moment I wondered if I had gone overboard.

“But that thing about giving a million won—is it true?”

“Yeah, it’s true.”

Meanwhile, Hyunseo started questioning me again, as if she still couldn’t believe the unbelievable Parents’ Day gift. To her question I replied indifferently that yes, it was. My attitude was far too calm for someone who had just thrown around a huge amount of money.

“How much did the hospital give you?”

Maybe she sensed something strange, because Hyunseo casually asked me the exact amount I had received from the hospital.

“About seven hundred this time?”

“Whoa.”

Hyunseo’s eyes widened at my short answer. The amount seemed to have exceeded her imagination. Well, it wasn’t strange for her to be shocked. Even I couldn’t fully grasp it right after receiving the money. Unless someone came from a seriously wealthy family, not many students would ever get their hands on that much cash.

“Can’t you give me a little?”

After hearing the number, Hyunseo asked in a pitiful voice if I couldn’t spare her some.

“Now she’s just straight-up asking for it.”

I was dumbfounded by Hyunseo’s word choice. She wasn’t even saying “lend me” anymore—she was saying “give me some.” That clearly meant she had no intention of paying it back. There was a limit to being shameless.

“Oppa, you don’t really spend that much money anyway….”

Then Hyunseo grumbled that I didn’t spend much anyway. To that complaint, as if I had something to say too, I recalled my recent account withdrawal history and shot back briefly.

“What are you talking about? I already spent over three hundred just yesterday and today.”

“Ehh?”

Hyunseo jumped at the sudden mention of three hundred disappearing. Apparently the fact that I—who never threw tantrums about allowance—had spent big money was shocking enough to warrant that reaction.

“Besides the Parents’ Day gift?!”

With her eyes still wide, Hyunseo asked me again. Come on, even then, would I have spent anything if you excluded that? I answered her question shortly in a nonchalant tone.

“Including it.”

“Ah, I figured…? But still, three hundred is….”

She let out a short sigh as if she understood, then trailed off hesitantly. Even including Mom and Dad, the total spent was two million. No matter how she calculated, the numbers wouldn’t add up. It meant I had spent roughly another million by myself. Hyunseo, who seemed to be doing mental math, asked shortly as if testing the waters.

“What did you buy?”

“Hehe, I bought a laptop.”

To that question I made a V sign with my fingers and held it out proudly, announcing the laptop I had just purchased.

“A laptop? Really?”

At the word “laptop,” Hyunseo’s face brightened. It was my item—why was she the one getting excited?

“It’s mine, so why are you happy?”

“Huh? Didn’t you buy two?”

When I asked why she was happy, finding it strange, Hyunseo suddenly asked if I hadn’t bought two. Since even one laptop cost several hundred thousand won, she must have naturally assumed I bought two. Her dreams were certainly big—or rather, her misunderstanding was something else. I snorted in disbelief.

“Hey, if I use a laptop, you can just use the computer.”

“Ah, right….”

Only then did she seem to understand what it meant for me to buy a laptop. Hyunseo let out a short, disappointed sigh and hung her head. I might be able to get her a cheap work laptop someday, but a gaming laptop was absolutely out of the question.

“Does Mom know you bought a laptop?”

“No?”

I answered Hyunseo’s next question as if it were obvious. There was no way I had discussed this with Mom. If I had complained that it was inconvenient with only one computer, she would have definitely said, “You can just take turns.” It was better to do it first and explain later. This wasn’t allowance from Mom—it was clean money I had legitimately earned. She might nag me to save it, but she wouldn’t blow up in anger.

“Won’t Mom get mad?”

“If it had been allowance from Mom, then yes.”

To Hyunseo, who had voiced exactly what I was thinking, I answered that there were mitigating factors. Besides, I also had the bribe of the Parents’ Day gift. The chances of it passing quietly were pretty high.

“I guess…? Ah, that’s right.”

Hyunseo tilted her head with lingering suspicion but eventually accepted it. Then she pulled something from her bulging pocket and held it out.

“My friends bought this for you, oppa.”

“Huh?”

What Hyunseo held out was a plastic airtight container. I stared closely at the entirely English label. The six letters written on the surface read CATNIP.

Hyunseo rattled the lid open with a twist. She shoved the wide-open container right under my nose. The smell of grass that had been plucked and stuffed inside stung my nostrils. What kind of reaction were they expecting?

“You don’t feel anything?”

“It just smells strongly of grass….”

I sniffed but felt nothing, so I answered in a low voice. Did they think I would roll around on the floor like the cats in those videos? A fox, strictly speaking, belongs to the canine family. Well, it was an understandable mistake. Mix a dog and a cat halfway ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and you might just get a fox.

“Aww, too bad.”

Seeing that I had no reaction even to the pile of catnip, Hyunseo pouted and muttered shortly.

Too bad? This girl…. I don’t know what she was expecting, but her middle-school friends’ harmless little plan had apparently gone up in smoke. Even if I generously conceded that it actually worked, did she really want to watch me roll around on the floor with my eyes spinning?

“If it’s useless, give it here. I’ll take it to my school friends or something.”

“Okay.”

Realizing the catnip was pointless, Hyunseo handed over the container full of grass pieces without a second thought. Not only was it ineffective, the grassy scent really was overpowering. Having sharper senses wasn’t all advantages, it seemed.