Cheese Whip and Fox Ears
Somehow managing to rein in the laughter that had just burst out, I heard the teacher say, “Why’s it so noisy? Should we move on with the lesson?”
“Nooo…” I barely managed to answer while staring at my phone. Seriously, how was anyone supposed to hold back laughter after seeing that? I clamped my mouth shut to keep any sound from escaping. Ah, it had been a while since I’d laughed like a maniac.
Still fighting to suppress my giggles, the teacher stood up from the podium and walked over to our side. “What’s so funny that you’re all like this?”
“Pfft, want to see it too, sir?”
“What is it?”
In the end, the cheese whip show played again right in front of the teacher. The man reset the video to the beginning and poured the half-melted cheese from the frying pan toward the bottom of the fondue machine. Seeing the obviously ominous preparation, the teacher muttered, “Hey, is that really supposed to work when it’s not even fully melted?”
His words sounded like he could already see the disastrous future. The half-melted cheese climbed back up the pillar and began recreating the exact scene we’d just watched. The machine rattled violently as the cheese whip formed once more. The teacher leaned on the desk watching, then suddenly burst out laughing. “Puhkhhkhh!”
“See, sir? You can’t help but laugh at this.”
Even the teacher’s laughter had exploded. Taehyun, sitting next to me, chimed in like he was pleading with the teacher. It was the kind of video you had to laugh at once you understood it. Only then did the teacher seem to get why we were cracking up and started heading back to the podium, apparently willing to overlook it.
“I heard some people say this is staged, though.”
“Does that guy look like the type to mess around with food?”
When Taehyun casually threw that out, the teacher looked incredulous and actually took the man’s side. Objectively speaking, the guy’s physique was pretty impressive. And yeah, he didn’t seem like someone who’d fake something with food. Even after the fountain disaster, he picked up the cheese that had flown everywhere and put it on his chicken to eat. It was convincing enough that it probably wasn’t staged.
Anyway, the science teacher returned to his spot. “So, is Hyunwoo’s condition getting better or what?”
The teacher leaned against the podium for a moment before looking up and asking me directly. At those words, some of the awake students turned their gazes toward me. It felt like a genuine question out of simple curiosity about whether I’d return to normal. I decided to just repeat what I’d heard at the hospital.
“They said there’s no cure yet.”
“Really? Aigoo…”
After hearing my answer, the teacher let out an ambiguous sigh. Was that a sigh of trouble or sympathy? Unable to tell, I fiddled with my phone. Then, as if something else occurred to him, the teacher stood up again.
“By the way, are those ears just there for show, or can you actually hear with the ones on top too?”
He took a few steps closer, suddenly interested in the ears on my head. Whether the upper ears were just decoration or actual functioning body parts. I answered the teacher’s odd question flatly.
“Yeah, the ears that used to be on the sides of my face are gone now.”
“What?! Can you show me?”
The teacher’s eyes widened in surprise and he closed the distance. I brushed my side hair back to show him, and soon I heard the sound of chairs being pushed from other seats too. Including the teacher, one by one the classmates gathered around. Suddenly an impromptu “Hyunwoo’s side profile viewing party” had started.
“Where? I want to see too.”
“Come out to the front a bit.”
The kids started bickering and fighting for spots. About ten students who hadn’t been sleeping began crowding around just to get a look at my side profile.
“Hey, hey, you guys go back to your seats.”
The teacher quickly shooed them away after sensing the commotion, then stared intently at the now-empty space beside my face.
“Wow, so something like this is possible…”
With zero ill intent, the teacher seemed purely amazed from a biological standpoint. Maybe science teachers were just naturally interested in this kind of thing.
“But what happens with stuff like your resident registration number?”
After a long sigh of admiration, the teacher asked another thing that seemed to be bothering him. My resident registration number? Well, nothing had been decided on that front yet. Now that he mentioned it, I’d have to look into that too. I tilted my head and answered briefly.
“I haven’t heard anything about that yet.”
“You’re going to have a hard time.”
After hearing my answer, the teacher said I’d have a tough time ahead, vaguely hinting at future struggles. Would renewing my ID even be possible? I’d have to ask Mom about that later.
“Still, if it doesn’t go back to normal, at least you’ll get military exemption.”
And then he brought up military exemption. My ears perked up at the useful information from a former active-duty soldier. Military exemption—that was something I was genuinely curious about too. With a bit of hope, I asked the teacher.
“Do you think I’ll get exempted?”
“Hmm, I don’t know? Their processing is usually a mess.”
But my hopeful question only got an ambiguous answer. He explained that since they were so incompetent, even with my condition it was hard to say what would happen. Still, a faint, thin hope remained in my heart. Surely they wouldn’t make someone like me go to the military.
Anyway, the remaining science class time was filled with the teacher’s ridiculous military stories. Starting with the battalion commander who got dishonorably discharged for cutting down and selling trees in the base, to the heroic tale of a soldier who beat up an officer after removing his rank insignia. The other classes had a similar vibe. When teachers tried to push through the lesson, students booed. Giving in to the reaction, the teachers would give us breaks after going over exam problems. The weekday classes between holidays came to an end just like that.
What waited afterward were Saturday and Sunday. And then Monday—Children’s Day. Right after seventh period, the all-boys high school students were rowdy. It was the kind of chaotic scene that perfectly matched the phrase “Thank God It’s Friday.” Unlike during class, everyone’s eyes were alive. Except for the ones who still had to do night self-study, of course.
“Alright, enjoy the long weekend and see you Tuesday—”
“Yeees—!”
A thunderous cheer erupted at the teacher’s greeting, echoing loudly enough to swallow the classroom whole. Startled by the noise, I covered my ears with my hands. ‘Ugh…’ Even this shouting was pretty painful for me now that my hearing had gotten sharper. The top of my head felt like it was buzzing. The sound of chairs being pushed filled the room. Students tucked their chairs under desks and headed out into the hallway toward their homes in this noisy, free time. I quietly blended in and moved toward the school gate.
The reporters who’d been scared off after getting thoroughly scolded still hadn’t shown up. They really didn’t have much persistence. Thinking that, I mixed in with the other students and headed home.
“Would you be available for a quick interview?”
“…Eek.”
Not long after leaving school, I heard an unfamiliar voice and footsteps approaching. I gave the female reporter an uncomfortable look as she shoved a microphone in my face.
“Just a few words would be enough, really.”
“No thanks.”
What was the point of hiding in the forest to avoid the trees? These hyenas always managed to find me anyway. Disgusted by the reporter’s persistence even among the students, I spat out a single “no” and sprinted away at full speed. The reporter quickly shrank into a small dot as I ran. She must’ve had terrible stamina, because she disappeared from view in no time.
“Phew.”
I let out a refreshing breath and wiped my forehead once. Approaching with a friendly smile only to suddenly ask for an interview. Acting all nice when she just needed material for an article. Scoffing at the reporter’s attitude, I returned home, threw my bag down the moment I reached my room, and flopped onto the bed. The breeze on my back felt cool, while the area under my stomach was warm.
“Hwaaam…”
Letting out a yawn in the comfortable mood, I closed my eyes and drifted off without even bothering to change out of my clothes, ignoring the notifications ringing on my smartphone.
…How much time had passed?
“……Hey, is she……sleeping?”
“Yeah, looks like……she’s asleep.”
“What should we……do?”
I woke up to unfamiliar voices moving around nearby. One of them sounded like Hyunseo, but the others were voices I hadn’t heard before. Staying still while half-asleep made the sounds even clearer.
“Can I take a picture?”
“Don’t. She really hates that.”
When the unfamiliar voice asked if she could take a photo, surprisingly it was Hyunseo who stopped her from beside me. Just as I was wondering whether I should get up because of the strange atmosphere—
“Oppa, wake up.”
At Hyunseo’s voice shaking me awake, I opened my eyes. Naturally, being woken up while sleeping put me in a low-pressure mood. With my eyes barely open, I whined.
“Whyyy, what is it.”
“My friends are here.”
With only one eye half-open, I looked around. The people who’d come to the room were none other than Hyunseo’s two friends. Checking my phone, I saw Hyunseo’s message asking me to leave the house because her friends were coming. I must’ve fallen asleep without seeing it. Still half-asleep, I put the phone down.
“This is her oppa?”
“Don’t lie. How is this her oppa? It’s her unni.”
Hyunseo’s friends, who’d been watching me blink drowsily, started reacting with amazement.
“It’s really true, though. Can’t you just leave, oppa?”
But they didn’t seem to like my presence, so Hyunseo asked me to leave. The situation was so sudden that my brain was still foggy. Just as I was about to grab a blanket and head to the living room—
“Whyyy, let’s talk with unni too.”
“Does unni do cosplay too?”
For some reason, Hyunseo’s friends were holding me back. Guys, I’m sleepy… I want to sleep.