The Abyss, the Girl, and the Lie (2)
Afterward, Shinryong returned safely to the annex. She said nothing, however, about the strange traces she had seen there. What she did tell me was that the Fox Deity had simply wondered whether she might recognize the phenomenon and had taken her there to show her. The White Shaman and the Fox Deity would handle the resolution themselves, so I needn’t concern myself with it. The only separate instruction she gave me was an absolute prohibition against following her again in that manner. Using divine power like that was forbidden—absolutely, categorically forbidden.
Yet I could not simply sit still and obey her words this time either.
“Then make my body capable of using divine power properly.”
In the end, unable to endure my own helplessness any longer, I did something I had never done before: I talked back.
Shinryong’s eyes widened in surprise, and for a moment she looked utterly flustered. Still, I pressed on without letting my breath falter.
“In situations where it seems you might be in danger… I don’t want to simply sit and wait, worrying only for you.”
Those words must have touched her, because her cheeks flushed. She shook her head quickly, waited until I had finished speaking, then answered.
“Give me the power to help you directly.”
The moment I finished, staring at her with unwavering resolve, Shinryong cut me off sharply.
“No.”
Her voice was firm. “Do you even know what thoughts rise in your mind when you grasp a kitchen knife?”
She went on to speak of my body—of the flesh I currently inhabited.
“Strictly speaking, you are still in rehabilitation. You have only just shaken off corruption, and now you seek the very path that leads closest to it again?”
I could not utter a single word of denial. As always, Shinryong was right. Just as she said, whenever I took hold of a blade I still felt that inexplicable sensation I could not put into words. Though I had improved greatly since first learning how to use a kitchen knife, the thing still writhed inside me. I could not deny it.
Yet Shinryong stepped close, stroking my back with a gentle sweep of her hand.
“Do not worry. I am strong.”
Her ruby-like eyes met mine, and her voice softened with kindness.
“When the time comes, I will bestow upon you enough divine power that you may accept and control it fully.”
Even though I could not wipe the gloomy expression from my face, I nodded and met her gaze.
Then Shinryong took my hand and placed it upon her soft, yielding breast.
Startled, I stared at her. For a long moment she simply gazed back at me with a blank, unconcerned expression. Only after a while did she seem to realize something was amiss. She released my hand, her cheeks burning crimson.
“I… I merely recalled hearing that touching a woman’s breasts is supposed to improve one’s mood.”
At that instant I felt the last of my restraint snap with an audible crack inside my skull. I pushed her down right then and there—day or night be damned—determined to imprint my nature so deeply inside her womb that she would never forget it.
But once again, a polite knock sounded from outside.
The unfamiliar voice that followed was enough to make me instantly repair the shattered remnants of my self-control. The strangely sharp tone calling for Shinryong with such urgency was more than sufficient to shatter the patience I had built up from constantly receiving guests lately. It exploded every ounce of accumulated anger inside me.
Shinryong slipped from my arms to calm me, then walked calmly toward the door to greet the visitor. Beyond the wide-open entrance stood a girl in a black uniform, the short skirt fluttering around her legs. Her light pink bob swayed as she locked eyes with Shinryong and declared,
“Are you the guardian deity of the Great Cavity, the one they call Shinryong?”
The girl with the striking pink hair and pitch-black uniform carried herself with surprising boldness, demanding confirmation of Shinryong’s identity in a sharp voice. When Shinryong, still somewhat dazed by the sudden question, gave a nod, the girl flicked her bangs aside with a crisp motion and introduced herself. Her well-groomed bob gleamed with every movement.
“My name is Lee Seha. I am an Abyss Hunter.”
Listening from behind, I was stunned. An Abyss Hunter? Did such a thing even exist? And how could a human girl so small possibly hunt the Abyss? The very term sounded wrong to my ears. Her existence felt so ominous that I struggled to accept it at all.
“What business brings an Abyss Hunter to this peaceful shrine?” Shinryong asked calmly.
That was when it happened.
“I came to prove that you are wrong.”
The girl strode boldly into the annex, passing Shinryong and stopping directly in front of me.
“The Abyss should not have been sealed. It should have been cut down and killed.”
Her tone grew increasingly accusatory, as though interrogating me. Watching her provocative attitude, I felt an overwhelming urge to raise my fist and smash her face. But Shinryong caught my eye from behind the girl and shook her head, silently urging me to stay calm until we understood the full situation.
So I simply looked down at her in silence. The girl in the black uniform turned back to Shinryong, folded her arms, and began to denounce us both in a venomous voice without the slightest hesitation.
“You who wield divine power and call yourself a guardian deity—how can you be so negligent? How can you irresponsibly allow the Abyss, which threatens the entire world, to run rampant with such half-hearted measures?”
I stared at the girl’s back. Those clean hands that had clearly never gripped a blade were bragging about hunting the Abyss? I wanted to cut her words off with cold facts, scold her mercilessly, demand she kneel and apologize for barging in, causing trouble, and insulting Shinryong. Yet Shinryong’s warning gaze kept me rooted in place.
Under that restraint, Lee Seha finally raised a single finger and declared,
“I possess a means to end the Abyss once and for all.”
She spoke as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
“Therefore, you two need only remain quiet and lend a hand when required.”
Of course, that made me clench my fist again. But Shinryong approached slowly and covered my fist with her own hand. She asked the tiny little rat in a calm voice,
“Might I ask… what this means you speak of is?”
Lee Seha folded her arms, tapped her arm with her fingertips in clear irritation, and sneered.
“How incompetent and yet how talkative. Just sit quietly and consider yourselves lucky that I’ll solve everything for you.”
She suddenly poured out criticism again, as though something had wounded her pride.
“I am graciously offering to sacrifice myself for your sake. Why ask so many questions? Shouldn’t you simply sit back and rest comfortably?”
Her words were strange—impossible to tell whether they were meant to show consideration or to attack. Then she pointed straight at me.
“And you.”
Her tone was cutting.
“You’re weak, useless, and it’s a waste for you to even breathe. Why don’t you just crawl back into your little base and never come out again?”
That last remark was truly unbearable. Had Shinryong not gripped my hand tightly, I would have drawn my dagger and gouged out the little rat’s eyes on the spot.
With a final “Hmph,” Lee Seha turned to leave the annex. As she walked away she glanced back at us, one corner of her mouth lifted in a smirk, and announced,
“I’ll return in a few days. We’ll have a proper conversation then.”
I wanted to hurl a dagger into her back and end the matter cleanly, but Shinryong held my hand firmly, keeping the last frayed threads of my restraint from snapping. She did not let go until the girl had completely left the Great Cavity after delivering her barrage of pure condemnation.
Once Shinryong had closed the sliding door and confirmed Lee Seha’s departure, I struggled to contain the rage boiling inside me.
“That clean little brat who looks like she’s never dirtied her hands in her life claims she hunts the Abyss? It’s all lies.”
I spoke as someone who had already fallen to corruption once. The Abyss was not a world that could be subdued by such light resolve. It was not a place where such simple stories held any truth. Shinryong surely knew this better than I, yet she remained silent, giving me time to regain my composure. When I finally took a steadying breath and looked at her, she spoke slowly.
“It is not that there is no method.”
Just as the girl had claimed, there was indeed a way to slice the Abyss apart and end it. My eyes widened in shock. Shinryong continued her explanation.
“Have you not noticed how the Abyss grows more violent on nights when the full moon rises?”
I nodded; I knew this well.
“On those full-moon nights, there once existed a divine instrument capable of cutting the Abyss itself.”
When she said the divine instrument had once existed, I nearly asked whether it was gone now. But Shinryong had already fallen deep into thought and answered my unspoken question in a murmur.
“I… surely destroyed it…”
Her words sounded almost as if she had tried to protect the Abyss. The mystery only deepened. Still, she set the matter aside.
“In any case, let us discuss this when the child returns. For now, I must go somewhere again. This time, please wait calmly.”
Once more she intended to leave me behind. I stared at her, fists clenching tighter and tighter until my shoulders trembled with fury. Shinryong paused, meeting my gaze.
“Why… why do you always speak in riddles and go off alone…?”
The stress that had begun with Lee Seha’s visit finally reached its peak. Tears streamed down my face as I pressed a hand over my contorted expression. I knew it was pathetic. I knew it was wretched. Yet the anger, the resentment, the agony would not be contained.
“Why do you always leave me behind? Why do you face everything alone…!!”
I clutched my chest, knowing I should not say such things, yet unable to stop.
“I’m lonely too! I worry too! Please take me with you! At least tell me what’s happening—please———!!”
The pressure that had built up for so long finally burst out in a wail. The weakness and helplessness of my true nature pressed down on me again and again until I could no longer hold back the tears of anguish.
“…I am sorry.”
Shinryong simply pulled me into her arms.
“This time I truly must go alone. It concerns the Abyss, so it is dangerous for you…”
She had no intention of taking me along.
“I do not wish to lose you to the Abyss. So… please understand…”
Her voice, filled with consideration and gentleness, flowed into my mind. Only then did I begin to realize what I had said and done. Yet my weakness still resented her for refusing to take me. My helpless heart still resented her for never explaining any of this. I clung desperately to the hem of her clothes, refusing to let go. When she turned to me with a sorrowful expression, I pulled her close.
“Then at least… kiss me before you go…”
I pressed my lips to hers as her arms wrapped around me. Deeper. Even deeper, tasting her breath. Her ruby eyes filled with remorse. She indulged my spoiled, desperate kisses until I was satisfied. This time the atmosphere was nothing like our usual sloppy, heated exchanges.
“When I return… I will let you kiss me as much as you desire.”
Perhaps the dry emotion behind the words felt different from the usual fluttering excitement. She left me with an expression that seemed almost pained, vanishing like the wind.
Once again I was left alone and miserable in the annex. This time I did not even consider crawling into the training room. I simply sat on a cushion in the hallway, wearing a gloomy expression, staring at the thing in the pond that kept tempting me—Take hold of me. Pull me out.
To the creature that continued to seduce me with those words, I quietly raised my middle finger without any change in expression, telling it to shut up. This time I did not even feel the desire to pull it out. Yet the questions remained.
Could I truly never use that power again? If a situation arose where I had no choice but to draw it out, would I still be able to remain sane and wield it? I could only wonder. It was true that I was fated to handle divine power one day, but that would require a long time. That thing, however, needed only a single touch to turn me back into the person I had been that day.
Yet the desire for strength and the fear of returning to my former self waged a constant tug-of-war inside my heart… and so they continued to coexist.