Feels Good (2)
"Why are you crying?"
Seo Joo-hwan gently wiped the corner of her eye with his thumb. But fresh tears slipped through the gaps between his fingers. Once they started flowing, they wouldn't stop easily.
"Wh-what? Why am I crying? Why won't this stop...?"
Min Ga-hee looked genuinely flustered, as if she had no idea why the tears were coming. She kept wiping at her eyes, at a loss over this phenomenon she couldn't comprehend. But the more she did, the more her face twisted and smeared with tears.
Whoosh.
Seo Joo-hwan pulled her back into his arms. She squirmed in his embrace, letting out a startled sound as if trying to escape.
"O-Oppa? Let go. I'm fine. Really, I am..."
Her voice held only bewilderment, no trace of sobs. That made it all the more heartbreaking. Not knowing why she was crying herself meant there was just that much built up inside her.
"Just cry."
"Huh?"
He stroked her back soothingly. Of course, he had no idea why she was crying. He just wanted to comfort her. He'd been through something similar in the past. Her tears overlaid the image of his former self.
Sometimes people cry without knowing why. Even when there's no sadness stirring inside. Or rather, maybe they were just ignoring it, pretending everything was fine. But emotions piled up like that would eventually burst out, no matter how much you turned away.
Better that it happened now, before it built up even more.
"You can cry out loud. It's just us here."
"......"
"I'm just someone you met today anyway. No need to hold back."
Sometimes a stranger feels more comfortable than those closest to you. Especially when it's a side of yourself you don't want to show.
"I'm really f-fine... hic."
"It's okay. No one's listening."
"Hngg..."
"......"
Pat pat. He rubbed her back like he was soothing a crying child. Would Holy Touch help? No way to know, but he activated it anyway. Unlike when it stirred lust, a faint warm glow tinged his touch.
Did it work? Or had the nonstop tears finally overwhelmed her emotions?
"Hic, hngg. Hnnng~"
Soon, she broke into full sobs. His shoulder grew damp.
It was a song I loved too. Filled with love, with lyrics that made bright smiles visible.
So whenever I sang, my face always lit up with a smile.
I could even forget the trouble with Seol-gi at the bar.
Fill myself with laughter through the song I do best.
The song he'd picked was one I loved too. Filled with love, bright smiles practically visible in the lyrics. So I always sang with a smiling face.
I figured I could forget the trouble with Seol-gi at the bar. Fill myself with laughter through the song I did best.
'If tears flow, just let them cry—'
'If it hurts once more, just laugh it off—'
'Fill your heart with love alone—'
But today, the lyrics grated. Why? The alcohol? I was surely happy, yet smiling felt hard.
The club's vibe was great for my first time, my first hunt successful, and the guy a good one. So I should be beaming with happiness—
"...Why are you crying?"
He asked with a worried face. Only after touching my eyes did I realize I was crying.
"Wh-what? Why am I crying? Why won't this stop...?"
I thought I was smiling, but tears were flowing. The tears down my cheeks flustered me. Wipe them quick, make it stop. But—
Whoosh!
He pulled me into a hug. I tried to pull away, but his strong arms held firm. Instead, a warm hand stroked my back. The big, firm hand I'd intertwined with outside the bar.
He spoke in a worried voice.
"Just cry."
"Huh?"
What was this guy saying? Cry in front of someone I just met? I hadn't even cried in front of my closest friend Seol-gi—
"You can cry out loud. It's just you and me here."
...Oh, Seol-gi isn't here. But this stranger still is.
"I'm just someone you met today. No need to hold back."
But he said precisely because I'm a stranger, no need to hold back.
...I don't want to cry.
"I'm really f-fine... hic."
Unlike my thoughts, my throat tightened. My body wasn't obeying, pissing me off.
"It's okay. No one's listening."
"Hngg..."
Why was this guy trying to make me cry? I'd barely held it together—!
...Oh, I was holding it together.
Realizing that, pat pat. His big, firm hand patted my back. The gentle touch, like soothing a child, so warm and comforting—
"Hic, hngg. Hnnng~"
It unleashed the emotions I'd bottled up.
"Hngg, I-I'm nothing special..."
Just an ordinary person, not even a genius.
"I'm just Min Ga-hee...!"
Not anyone's daughter, just Min Ga-hee. Why?
Just someone who loves music. Why?
"Hnnng~!"
The wounds and pressures I'd ignored poured out uncontrollably. The feelings I'd buried deep, because facing them might make even music I loved feel hateful.
"......"
Pat pat. The silent patting on my back felt warm. The comfort seeping in stabilized my heart.
Finally, the lyrics that had stuck in my throat sank in.
'If tears flow, just let them cry.'
I just... let out the sobs.
"...Feeling better?"
Exhausted from crying, Min Ga-hee nodded with sniffles.
"Hngk. Hnggg!"
"...Don't snort it back up. Blow it out. Here's some tissue."
"Pffft!"
'Ugh!' A bit peeked out past the tissue. It felt gross, but she didn't show it and pulled out another to wipe.
He wiped her nose too.
'Aigoo. Poor kid.' How much had this child held back to have so much built up? Once the dam broke, she bawled like the world was ending.
Watching her made him feel like he was back in his thirties. Then Min Ga-hee hugged him again. No, she pulled him into her arms. The size difference made it look odd, but still.
Anyway, with his face buried in her chest, Seo Joo-hwan thought,
'Scratch that kid thing.'
How could a woman with these big tits be a kid? Scratch the thirties feeling too. One face-plant into her chest, and his little brother surged to life.
The youthful vigor of his twenties throbbed from below.
Min Ga-hee, who'd pulled him close with his face basically in her chest, spoke in a voice still thick with tears.
"Joo-hwan oppa, thank you..."
"I'm the one who's thankful."
"Huh?"
"Nah, nothing. Can you let go now?"
"Why? Guys like boobs, right? You were staring plenty."
"......"
"Hehe. Service for thanking you."
Was it on purpose? But why didn't she get the earlier stuff? Unpredictable woman.
Seo Joo-hwan savored the bountiful chest for exactly three seconds before slipping out.
'Should've gone for ten.'
The lingering sensation on his cheek made him regret it instantly. Drug pillow—no, drug boobs.
'Bet they'd be great to sleep on even hungry...'
"Oppa."
Min Ga-hee interrupted his thoughts, holding out a square remote.
"Hehe. Sing."
It was the karaoke remote.
"...After crying like that?"
"Yeah. Oh, I can't sing, so you do it, oppa."
"I can only rap."
"I like rap too. Or should I teach you a song?"
"Oh, that sounds good."
Seo Joo-hwan, an outcast at heart, longed for singing skills.
'Singing well makes you an insider.'
To him, insider traits: singing, instruments, dance. He'd even learned the special ability of his dance talent, Multi-Dancing Line, for that.
*
He spat a rap verse, got a quick song lesson. Leaving the karaoke bar, they walked Hongdae's dawn streets. Min Ga-hee grinned ear-to-ear, arm linked with his—what had her so happy?
"Still people out at dawn."
"Yeah. You new to this too, oppa?"
"Yep. First time in Hongdae at night."
"You too? I'm a local. Club your first too?"
"Yeah. Came with Jeong-hoon hyung."
"Jeong-hoon oppa's been everywhere, huh?"
"Yeah. That guy's a pro."
Dozens of stories from army duty together. Hongdae, Gangnam, Itaewon—Lee Jeong-hoon was the classic insider who'd hit everywhere. Enviably unfair.
Min Ga-hee tilted her head up at him.
"Hm. But you seem more the pro..."
"Me?"
"Yeah. You've hit on lots of girls, right?"
"No way. I'm a loner."
"What? Liar!"
She gasped. Telling the truth, yet she wouldn't believe—unfair. Or should he be glad? Feeling a bit pleased she thought he was smooth.
He shrugged. She eyed him suspiciously, then widened her eyes.
"For real?"
"Yeah."
"Real real?"
"Real real real."
"Whoa."
Min Ga-hee gaped at him. His eyes were a bit slanted, but a manly face, decently handsome. Tallish, fit from working out. Personality not weird. Sure, he stared at her chest a lot, but most guys did. Mild-mannered, quick on cues—girls would like that.
'But a loner?'
In this day and age? She'd dated twice in middle/high school—few even for her circle.
'Skin issues?'
His skin was rough, unkempt, acne scars dotting. Minus for skin-focused girls. But average for guys who don't care.
Not loner material.
'Doesn't seem like a lie...'
No reason to fib. She pondered, then shook her head.
'Why overthink? Just ask.'
If curious, ask. That was her.
"Oppa."
"Yeah?"
"Ever confessed?"
"Uh... yeah? Got rejected."
"Whoa. Girl had high standards."
"It's complicated... Not high standards. She just wanted to focus on work."
Target was a noona! Likes older women? Two-year gap between them.
"Like older girls?"
"Dunno? Not really. Age doesn't matter much."
He shook his head. All three relationships older, but by his real age, younger. Semantics.
Her face brightened. Next question.
"Ever had a confession?"
"Hm. Once. No, twice? Probably once."
Im Su-hee definite. Choi Mi-hwa iffy.
She watched him count on fingers, tense.
"Uh... but loner means no dating, right?"
"Yeah."
"Why? Girls not pretty?"
Or small boobs? She pressed her chest firmer against his arm, tilting her head. Confident in her face too.
Seo Joo-hwan forgot the sensation, pondering.
'Hm. Why'd I reject?'
Back then, reasons seemed solid. Rejected Im Su-hee over age—liked older, but wanted fresh youth. Choi Mi-hwa too soon after meeting.
But now? Not just that.
'Lust System...'
Confessing to Jeong So-ra, no issue. But maxing system meant sex with many women.
Could he date? Focus on one? Doubtful. Tempting talents would turn his head. Hurt the girlfriend eventually. Subconsciously, maybe that's why.
"Oppa?"
"Ah."
She looked up curiously. He chuckled.
"You asked if they weren't pretty? They were stunning—surprising they'd confess to me. Great personalities too."
"Then why reject?"
"Just no dating thoughts."
He said firmly on purpose. She flinched, gauging.
"Th-that girl you confessed to... Still like her?"
"Huh? Pfft. Like her, yeah."
"...But?"
"Not that feeling anymore. Just close noona-dongsaeng."
"So really no dating plans?"
"Yeah. Not right now."
"Why? Why no dating? Huh?"
She pressed eagerly. He chuckled, hand on her head.
"Questions over. So, what now?"
"...Huh?"
"Heading home? Wasn't the mood earlier."
"So what..."
She followed his chin gesture. A neon sign: T-HOTEL.
"How 'bout now?"
He ruffled her blue hair. Blushing, she nodded slightly.
"Y-yeah..."