Steroid Suspicions and a Hungover Mystery
"…Who are you? Talking about drugs out of nowhere?"
Steroids were famous enough that he'd heard of them a few times. They were used for medical treatments, but even more notorious for doping to build muscle.
"Steroids? Aren't those drugs? Like growth hormones or something."
"Right. They're different, but both are drugs used for muscle growth anyway."
Why was he suddenly asking about this? Seo Joo-hwan blurted out in surprise.
"Gasp. Bro, you on gear?"
"What?"
"Your gains are from juice?"
"No way, man! I'm 100% natural, you punk!"
Baek Kang-ho denied it vehemently and locked him in a headlock.
"Gahk gahk. Bro, you're killing me. Tap tap."
"Ah, sorry. I panicked."
"Cough. What kinda panic leads to a headlock? Two panics and you'd murder someone…."
"Ugh, really sorry. Anyway, I never touched that shit, man. I've been training clean for 20 years."
"Got it. But why bring it up outta nowhere?"
Baek Kang-ho hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"If anyone around you pushes gear, tell 'em to fuck off."
"Suddenly?"
"The gym world's kinda shady like that. Places like Ribbon Fitness run clean, but sketchy spots? The gym itself pushes drugs sometimes. Real scumbags don't even explain properly—just sell it as 'premium supps' for killer gains."
"…That's for real? Those drugs all have nasty side effects."
"Dead serious. Surprisingly, tons of guys buy in once it's pitched. Results hit hard and fast, y'know? That's why I'm warning you. Newbies fall for it easiest."
"Whoa…."
Seo Joo-hwan let out a baffled chuckle. He'd vaguely heard rumors, but he never imagined outfits secretly hooking people up.
He shook his head. "No way in hell. That shit shrinks your dick, right?"
"What?"
To Baek Kang-ho blinking in confusion, he flashed a playful grin.
"What's the point of big muscles if your junk shrinks? Gotta have both dick and gains. You know my goal's fashion muscles, yeah? I'm hitting the gym to pull chicks."
"Hah, haha, pffft hahahaha! What a ridiculous dude. You started lifting just to score girls?"
Seo Joo-hwan nodded with a giggle. Sure, health was the main reason. Writers or artists—long hours hunched over wrecked your back, neck, wrists, something always gave out. But yeah, pulling women was part of it too, no lie.
His turn to ask. "So what got you into lifting, bro?"
"Huh? What kinda question is that? Obvious."
"Huh?"
"Started to pull chicks too. Heh. Bet half the gym rats began for that. Later you just get hooked on the iron."
"Pffft haha. Mission accomplished?"
"Mission?"
"Did you bag a girlfriend, the original goal? Face is a bit scary, but some girls dig pure beef."
"You little shit, wanna spar at the sauna nearby?"
"Haha. Ain't no one more ruggedly handsome than you, bro."
"Smooth talker, punk. And what's this 'girlfriend' crap?"
"Ah, strikeout?"
"Quit yapping. Didn't I tell you I'm married?"
"…Huh?"
Seo Joo-hwan tilted his head, blinking. Did he mishear?
Baek Kang-ho gave him a dumbfounded look. "You were chatting fine with Hye-ri earlier."
"Hye-ri? Lee Hye-ri?"
Smack. "The fuck, 'Hye-ri ssi'? To my wife?"
"Wait, you two are married?"
Seo Joo-hwan's jaw dropped in disbelief. Sorry, bro, but they didn't match at all. Burly bearded muscle bandit Baek Kang-ho and delicate charmer Lee Hye-ri? And the age gap—how huge was it?
He earned a smack for that thought. "…Bro, even adults, over ten years is basically a cri—gahk!"
"Hye-ri's two years older than me, dumbass!"
Baek Kang-ho smacked the back of his head and bellowed. No way—that dainty-looking woman was older? More shocking than the marriage itself.
"Looks-wise, at least ten years…."
"Wanna die?"
"Sorry."
Quick apology. Glaring like a mobster, no joke. Anyway, biggest shock since regressing.
*
The two finished their smokes and headed back inside. The drinking session was still raging, but the vibe felt off. Not the usual rowdy chaos—serious faces passing glasses, like a debate club.
"Drugs are a no-go. Fuck up the dose and you're done."
"Totally. Guy I know juiced wrong on steroids—dick shriveled to a pea."
"Friend of mine took black-market diet pills. Dropped weight fast at first, then ballooned 20kg later from sides."
"Ah, I heard one about hallucinations. Appetite suppressants dosed wrong."
Relaying horror stories on steroids, suppressants, whatever drugs. Seo Joo-hwan sat, baffled, as Im Su-hee eyed him.
"Joo-hwan, you gotta be careful too. Tons regret touching gear chasing gains."
"Huh? Me?"
Suddenly targeted, he panicked. About to respond—Baek Kang-ho scratched his cheek first.
"Uh, sorry, but I already covered it outside. Kid won't touch drugs."
The table went dead silent.
"……."
"……."
Ribbon Fitness crew exchanged glances wordlessly.
'What the hell? Oh, shit….'
His hunch solidified. They awkwardly chuckled.
"Ugh, Kang-ho, spilling it outside? What're we, chopped liver?"
"Haha, sorry."
"Awkward as hell. Sorry, Joo-hwan."
"Anyway, no worries. Tested him—he's like, 'Why juice if it shrinks your dick?'"
"K-Kang-ho bro?"
Why air that embarrassment here! Before he could protest, stares zeroed in. On his crotch, specifically.
"Oh my."
Oh my what? Im Su-hee covered her mouth, staring fixedly. Beside her, Lee Hye-ri awkwardly smiled, sneaking peeks.
'These ladies….'
Suddenly self-conscious, he turned to Im Su-hee. She averted her half-lidded gaze with an 'oops'.
"Noona, spill—what's the deal?"
"Ahaha, well, y'see~. Hohoho… Joo-hwan, sorry!"
Im Su-hee clasped her hands, begging forgiveness.
*
"Hm. So my gains were too quick, you suspected gear? Scared me with drug horror stories to test?"
Im Su-hee waved her hands frantically. "Not suspicion! Worry, pure worry."
"Same diff?"
"Different! I trusted you wouldn't. Just in case, y'know? Who knows what comes next."
"So basically, you didn't fully trust me?"
"Eek."
Im Su-hee bowed her head, stumped. Seo Joo-hwan smirked—not mad. It came from real concern, and her method was solid. Couldn't straight-up ask "You doping?" or test as gym owner. So, bait with side effect nightmares.
'Fair enough suspicion.'
Two months in, 345 on big three. Starting small-framed too. No wonder the worry.
He shrugged it off casually. Im Su-hee's face lit up; others finally relaxed, chuckling.
"Haha, sorry, Joo-hwan. No hard feelings?"
"Nah. Just accept my talent's genius-level."
"Pffhaha, cocky too. Not the first time, though. Caught a few dopers this way."
"Gasp. For real?"
"Yup. Spill sides, faces go pale as ghosts."
She'd busted users before. Didn't care what randos did elsewhere, but no roiders at Ribbon Fitness. They demoralized naturals; worst ones dealt like Baek Kang-ho said.
With Seo Joo-hwan brushing it off, party reignited wildly. Mid-binge, eldest Kim Dae-seop pointed at him, yelling.
"Knew I saw you somewhere! Joo-hwan, you!"
"Gym?"
"Nah! This you?"
He shoved his phone over. Pre-weight-loss face, huge—interview after catching the killer. Noisy gym crew hushed, glued to the clip.
Video ended; stunned stares. Right—Anyang branch didn't recognize his slimmed-down self. Glanced at Im Su-hee—she shook her head furiously, denying she spread it.
Baek Kang-ho gawked beadily. "Joo-hwan, you nabbed a killer too? Beast mode."
"Haha… happened by chance."
Kim Dae-seop grabbed soju and beer, bolting up. "Kya! Missed the national hero! Lemme pour one!"
"Huh?"
"What? Glass out!"
190cm-plus Baek Kang-ho was one thing, but Kim Dae-seop's 570 big three bulk was no joke. At his bellow, Seo Joo-hwan offered his soju glass quick.
Kim Dae-seop tsked. "Nah, beer glass!"
"Yessir."
Soju gushed in—over half the bottle gone, topped gingerly with beer. 9:1 ratio.
Done mixing, Kim Dae-seop beamed. "Kids these days call this 'honey brew,' right?"
Uncle, that's not it….
*
No clue when the party would end. Over two hours already. Seo Joo-hwan chugged like a madman thanks to the interview reveal. These guys endless drinkers?
"Kya, Joo-hwan downs it like water!"
"Think he's had the most?"
"Whoa, true! Another round!"
Somehow sober-ish, Seo Joo-hwan held strong. Three Kim Dae-seop 'honey brews' down, still kicking—miracle. Baek Kang-ho, who'd snagged the Hangover Relief Candy, guzzled like a hippo, claiming it hit perfect today. Naturally poured for Seo Joo-hwan too.
He clinked relays with Kim Dae-seop, Lee Mun-seok, Baek Kang-ho. Mixed in Im Su-hee, Lee Hye-ri glasses too. Im Su-hee giggled drunk; Lee Hye-ri smiled softly, cheeks flushed silent.
Drank till dawn. Exactly… what time?
"Gasp!?"
Seo Joo-hwan shot up. "Ugh."
Head throbbed—how much booze? Not home. "Where the hell…?"
Dark, lights off. Cushy seat felt like a bed….
"Mmngh."
Female voice beside him.
…Who are you?