A Relationship Where Superiority is Decided (11)
Seo Joo-hwan blinked at the sudden curse. What the hell? Did I hear that wrong? Right then, a sigh mixed with a scolding tone reached his ears.
"You heartless jerk…"
"Uh, huh?"
"I'm only holding back on the double curses because it's you. Got it?"
"Yeah."
"Anyway. If that's how it's gonna be, why'd you even start dating?"
"I didn't ask her out first…"
"Oh, really? So you're blameless? She just up and decided to break up without even discussing it?"
"That's not what I—"
As he listened, Seo Joo-hwan started feeling aggrieved. Yeah, I screwed up too. Obviously, that's why she wanted to break up. But dumping it on me out of nowhere like that isn't right.
If there were mismatches, shouldn't they talk it out and adjust? Getting hit with a breakup notice without any effort like that—and now taking shit for it? He'd done his best to keep the relationship going. He'd resisted Im Su-hee's temptations and didn't give in to Yoo Ji-kyeong's playful teasing about keeping it secret. Sure, maybe he'd used a few too many items? But he'd poured insane effort into sex to make her feel good. He barely touched the submission effect of the items. Even though he could've controlled her with a thought, he'd held back on commands as much as possible.
But he couldn't exactly say any of that, so it just left him frustrated.
Then Jeong So-ra spoke in a calmer tone.
"Joo-hwan-ah, I get that you liked her. I know you two were always glued together."
"…Yeah. We were together every single day, no breaks."
"But how come every place you mentioned is just school or home? One date? You never went anywhere else besides school and home?"
"…Doesn't seem like it."
"You didn't confuse dating with just sex, right? You're not that sick—er, dense—er… stupid, are you?"
"……."
He knew the difference. He knew dating and sex weren't the same. But he couldn't say no. Thinking back on his time with Jeong Ha-yeon, there wasn't much difference.
"Did you even know what your girlfriend liked? Hobbies, food, even colors. Or stuff she hated?"
"Pr-pretty much the same as me, I guess."
"Really? Or did she just match herself to you?"
"…Not sure."
No confidence. Hobbies? He knew she liked books. Billiards too. Beyond that? No clue. Mint chocolate, maybe? She hated flashy spending. But other than that? He had no idea what she disliked. He'd vaguely thought they just clicked perfectly.
But had it all been her adjusting one-sidedly?
"Sigh. From what you're saying, she seems like she had some personality… Must've really liked you to adjust that much. But what about you?"
"Of course I liked her a ton too! It was my first relationship, so I put in so much effort. We were together every day, every—"
…Fuck, every day, just fucking nonstop.
The effort went into how to get sex, not her feelings. He'd focused more on affection levels through sex, and keeping the item effects up to avoid breakups. Seo Joo-hwan lost his words.
Jeong So-ra, waiting for his response, let out a deep sigh soon after.
"Joo-hwan-ah."
"…Yeah."
"It's not all your fault. If there are complaints, you have to speak up for them to know. Who breaks up like that? Like you said, dating's about adjusting to each other. Couples even get stronger after fights sometimes."
Seo Joo-hwan nodded, but doubts crept in. Was not voicing complaints really Jeong Ha-yeon's fault? Or had the item effects made it so she couldn't speak up?
"Joo-hwan-ah, everything I say from now on isn't gospel—filter it yourself. I'm no dating professor. Everyone dates differently."
"Got it."
He said he understood, but he was dying to hear more from Jeong So-ra. She seemed experienced, and even from these snippets, she was hitting points he hadn't noticed.
"Here's what I think. In a relationship, there shouldn't be a clear hierarchy. It's not right for one side to always accommodate the other."
"……."
"But from your story, it already feels like one side's doing all the adjusting. Sure, I don't know the fine details. There might be more to it. But based on what you've said? You're already the dominant one. A relationship with that set up can't last long. That's my take."
"……."
"Her dumping you out of nowhere? Yeah, she's wrong for that. But think how much she agonized before saying it. Not saying you should've seen that far, since you got dumped. Just… I don't want you regretting it. Blaming her feels good now, but if you realize later it wasn't all her, it'll come back as regret."
"Mm……."
Seo Joo-hwan groaned, too many things nagging at him. I never thought of it as her accommodating me. Hearing it from someone else made it click now. Had he taken her consideration for granted at some point? Everything she liked, wanted to do—it all matched his so perfectly. He'd thought their chemistry was great, tastes aligned. But if she'd just been matching him?
The questions spiraled: Did I really not know at all? Maybe he had known. Conveniently chalked it up to convenience, similarities.
He needed to check.
As he sat silent, Jeong So-ra called worriedly.
"Joo-hwan-ah? Seo Joo-hwan?"
"…Yeah, So-ra noona."
"You okay?"
"Yeah, of course. Sorry. I was just thinking. Thanks for the serious advice, actually."
"Glad you see it that way…"
"Noona, I'll call later. Gotta do something now."
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Talk later."
He hung up. Seo Joo-hwan stared at his smartphone for a moment, then murmured.
"Activate Memory Storage."
> You can view past records through the Memory Storage.
> Record viewing methods: Direct View, Indirect View, Standard View.
> Direct View: Re-experience records using all five senses. Optionally relive emotions from that time.
> Indirect View: Experience records from a third-person perspective.
> Standard View: View records as audiovisual materials like videos or photos.
A function of the Memory Storage that recorded the user's life. Until now, he'd only used it for backing up novels or assignments. But its true value lay in vividly reliving the past. Emotions included, if desired.
Seo Joo-hwan rewound time, summoning his past.
*
After hanging up, Jeong So-ra ruffled her hair irritably.
"Argh! It's not like I should butt into someone else's relationship!"
She'd said to filter it, but she'd already spilled all her thoughts. What made her ramble like a dating expert?
"Ugh. If it weren't for my black history…"
She'd gotten too serious with her "advice" because Seo Joo-hwan's relationship felt too familiar. A hierarchical dynamic set from the start. A relationship that started on shaky emotions and ended badly. Having been through it, she'd firmly rejected his confession months ago. To avoid hurting him more later.
"Ughhh."
Jeong So-ra groaned, face twisted. Her forgotten past had resurfaced.
No lingering feelings, but it was pure embarrassing black history.
"Kyaaah~!"
Suddenly triggered, Jeong So-ra hurled a pillow and freaked out.
*
It's human nature to struggle viewing oneself objectively. Especially memories that distort over time. They get overlaid to favor yourself.
That's why Seo Joo-hwan used Memory Storage.
After checking the records, he rubbed his dry face with his hand. Witnessing his own fuck-ups in a black history compilation was harder than expected.
"You trash piece of shit…"
He couldn't help cursing himself. His face twisted as he grumbled nonstop.
Direct experience via Memory Storage records let him feel the emotions too. And two weeks ago, he'd already sensed something off, faintly. He'd just ignored it, not wanting to face it, comforting himself.
He could've noticed plenty.
…I like that too.
Not drinking with the guys today?
Wear this? It's uncomfortable… Okay.
Yeah. That sounds better.
I really hate showing off on my profile pic.
Okay. Just change it.
The records always showed Jeong Ha-yeon responding a beat late. Ambiguous expressions that nodded when he asked, Isn't this better?
Maybe it wasn't a big deal. He'd avoided command tones, wary of the submission effect. Just choices on food, dramas, movies. Casual compliments like which looks prettier. Minor taste clashes, playful debates.
Friends like Lee Seok-chan suggesting drinks, but he'd refused to maintain item effects. Jeong Ha-yeon tagging along like it was natural.
Forcing a profile pic change after she said no.
Seo Joo-hwan never forced her actions. The profile pic was the stubbornest. Mostly, he'd just voiced thoughts: isn't this better? And it always ended his way. He'd conveniently assumed shared tastes.
But her expressions in the records said otherwise. She'd preemptively adjusted due to the submission effect, before he even pushed.
A relationship with superiority set. From the moment he used the item, his dominance was fixed. Pheromone Boost's addiction and submission reshaped her gradually, forcing consideration. Even without direct commands.
The psychological hierarchy was clear.
Fuck. I got complacent because it was a 'weak' effect.
The item's effects weren't dramatic. Subtle, from tiny things. So he'd self-deluded: she's the same as usual. He'd noticed at some point. Wary, but since no big changes, he'd let it slide.
"Fuck! If you're gonna act like a dick, own it from the start, you fucking moron!"
If he'd crossed lines hard, she might've snapped sooner. It was only 'weak' submission. But pretending to be nice, considerate boyfriend with fake-ass consideration trapped her from leaving. More vile than outright trash behavior.
Nausea rose. If the effects hadn't worn off, it'd still be going—even hours ago.
Just hours back, Jeong Ha-yeon's breakup words. He'd barely heard them in his panic, but now confirmed via records.
Joo-hwan-ah, let's break up.
Her words replayed vividly.
…I've thought about it a lot. I think I liked us more as friends.
We got closer, but felt farther…
Can't fix it. The problem's with me, not you.
No. The problem was him, not Ha-yeon. She'd spoken up fine; he'd made it impossible.
I'm okay now… but later, I'll go quiet again. Just agreeing with whatever you say… After dating, you seem uncomfortable to me.
Sorry. Can't explain well. I know it's weird… Really sorry to break up like this.
Her sad face, unable to fully express feelings. Looking back, unaware of the item, she'd sensed it instinctively. That Pheromone Boost would revert her.
He'd only thought her cruel. Confessed first, persuaded his dodges, then easy breakup? Fuck, he hadn't even tried understanding!
Selfishly prioritizing his feelings, no effort to consider hers, yet whining relationships need adjustment.
Sorry for confessing first then breaking up.
I like you beyond boyfriend. Think we could stay friends…? Too much?
He had past-life trauma as a convenient excuse. Everyone leaving was horrific to recall, so Pheromone Boost on Ha-yeon. She wouldn't leave while effects held. Daily sex too. With Lust System, multiple women in short time, he'd thought women just needed good sex.
Items to make her climax daily. Even exhausted, at least once a day. Believed she'd stay.
Pathetic delusion, obviously.
I know it's selfish. Still… want to stay friends at least.
Joo-hwan-ah, really leaving? Joo-hwan! Hey, Seo Joo-hwan!
Who was selfish? He'd played world's saddest victim, drowned in trauma, ignoring her words.
"Fucking idiot."
Seo Joo-hwan pulled a photo from his wallet. Sticker pic from their first date. Them laughing in various poses, expressions.
"How's the only photo we have together this one…?"
Absurdity brought a hollow laugh.
"Dumbass… No wonder she dumped you."
Without item effects, he'd have gotten slapped a dozen times. Or with her personality, punched.
"If I were Ha-yeon, fuck."
Might've said Is my pussy your house? and kicked his dick off.
Thinking that far, Seo Joo-hwan stood. Heading to Jeong Ha-yeon's place.
No point moping here.
Stay still now, and even friends is over.
Breakup was shitty too. She'd spoken seriously, but he'd tunnel-visioned, no proper reply.
Her words leaving her place replayed.
Got it, Ha-yeon-ah. Take care. I'm heading out.
Got what? Just dodging, tossing bullshit to escape.
How to stay friends acting like that?
Seo Joo-hwan grabbed the hoodie tossed on the bed, slipped it on. Ignored scattered bottles. No time to clean.
He crammed on shoes and left the house.