Chapter 48
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 48
Chapter Title: No Way Those Two Would
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"No way those two would."
[By the way, about Dain Adamas... Objectively speaking, her face really is pretty. Seeing her this close up, she looks even prettier.]
[Ha, her body's smoking hot and her face is drop-dead gorgeous. Even in this vegetative state where she's lost all her strength, how can she still shine like this? Man, if that's not unfair, I don't know what is.]
Sruruk.
[...Even her forehead is pretty.]
[Her hair's so soft and smooth that even stroking it feels amazing...]
While Stay was drunk on euphoria after knocking Dain Adamas out cold with pleasure and murmuring things he didn't need to say.
'You've never done that to me... You never called me pretty or stroked my hair...!'
May Luina in the room right next door was trembling with rage as she listened to Stay's voice coming through the speaker.
In truth, as a vegetative patient who couldn't even twitch a finger on her own, May Luina's body remained perfectly still and serene. But her mind was definitely shaking with fury.
'Why do you only do that to Dain Adamas? Why not to me? Why? Why? Why treat only me so unfairly!'
Every time she heard the sound of Stay stroking Dain Adamas's hair through the speaker, May Luina's mind reeled with surging anger, venting her pent-up frustration.
The only person in the world who could hear her words was Stay, but he was in Dain Adamas's room, not hers, so right now, the only one who could hear her voice was herself.
'...'
A hollow echo reverberating in pitch-black darkness with no light.
The most horrific thing May Luina had endured in the month since becoming a vegetative patient—the worst part of being one.
It was this empty echo with no reply.
'I really, really hate it. I thought hearing Stay's voice would make the loneliness bearable now. I thought things would get better... But it's even more suffocating and frustrating.'
The torment May Luina felt before reuniting with Stay—being alone—and the torment after, still being alone despite the reunion, were entirely different kinds of pain.
The former stemmed from a solitude like being abandoned in the world all by herself. The latter came from the loneliness of not having Stay by her side.
That's why, even though Stay's voice through the speaker felt anything but sweet—directed at another woman, it only brought pain—May Luina couldn't stop listening.
If she turned off the speaker now, complaining that hearing him talk to another woman hurt, she'd end up feeling that original solitude all over again on top of everything else.
'If I turn off the speaker because it's too hard, I'll start imagining it. What kind of treatment Stay's giving Mir Ryuin or Dain Adamas right now... What sweet nothings he's whispering in their ears during it... I'll imagine all that.'
And such imaginings usually exaggerated reality far beyond the truth, so the best May Luina could do was maintain the status quo.
'I can't ask to have the speaker removed... At least if I listen to Stay's voice, I can delude myself that it's meant for me. That way, I'm not so lonely.'
In other words, agonizing over Stay's voice from the speaker was the best May Luina could manage right now.
'...And besides. Surely others have asked for speakers too. When it's my turn for treatment from Stay, they'll feel the same pain I do. Thinking that eases my mind a little.'
Knowing you're not suffering alone is often a great comfort to humans as social creatures.
May Luina found solace amid her agony—listening to Stay stroke Dain Adamas's hair—by telling herself she wasn't the only one in pain.
'...No, wait. Would Mir Ryuin? Maybe not? Actually, she's way less likely!'
But that comfort was short-lived. For some reason, imagining Mir Ryuin suffering the same jealousy as her filled May Luina with unease.
'M-Mir Ryuin isn't as sociable as me; she likes being alone... And she's the Lord of Magic—no way she'd feel this way over some ordinary guy like Stay.'
May Luina herself was a world hero ranked 3rd, hailed as the Saintess for her supreme healing powers, yet she convinced herself that Mir Ryuin—her equal—wouldn't feel the same.
'Stay's touch is warm, gentle, teasing yet incredibly caring—but that's because it's me feeling it. People vary. And why would Mir Ryuin enjoy the touch of an F-rank debtor like Stay? Ridiculous.'
She rattled off countless reasons in her head why Mir Ryuin wouldn't develop feelings for Stay.
It was an instinctive reaction to dispel the anxiety churning in her chest the moment she thought Mir Ryuin might feel the same.
An action no one would expect from someone who just moments ago found comfort in sharing the misery.
May Luina couldn't even understand herself why she was listing reasons why Mir Ryuin wouldn't suffer the same torment.
'Yeah. It's Mir Ryuin, of all people. No way she'd be tormented by Stay hugging and embracing Dain Adamas... stroking her hair... Grr! She wouldn't envy that special treatment she hasn't gotten either. Yeah. Right, no way.'
Reasons that could seamlessly apply to May Luina herself without a hint of inconsistency.
'Absolutely not. Mir Ryuin wouldn't. No way.'
But with no peace of mind, May Luina failed to recognize this. Oblivious to her own motives, she kept repeating that Mir Ryuin wouldn't suffer like her.
'...Yeah, I'm feeling wronged by Stay's blatant favoritism. He hugs Dain Adamas tenderly when treating her, but with me, he obsessively just spanks my butt. Sure, he groped my breasts too... but that's beside the point. What matters is he's discriminating, and I feel massively unjust about it.'
Contrary to May Luina's hopes, Mir Ryuin was also furrowing her brow in real-time to Stay's voice toward Dain Adamas from the speaker.
Of course, as a vegetative patient, her actual brow remained serene, but she felt it creased with three deep lines.
'But May Luina wouldn't feel this injustice like I do. She's the Saintess, after all—maintaining her pure image and all that. Someone so devoted to upholding her Saintess title wouldn't be tormented by Stay's favoritism like me. Makes no sense.'
Mir Ryuin was thinking the exact same thing as May Luina, at the exact same time.
'My personality demands perfection in everything, so he had no choice but to skip it with me... but does it only for Dain Adamas... Hah. Unreal. He just spanks my butt, but hugs her tight—full-body press? Is he sane? Discriminating this openly? No way. Unacceptable. Even if May Luina tolerates it, I won't. Right, so next treatment day. When Stay comes, I'll give him a piece of my mind. How do I wait two days? Do I suffer through his voice on this speaker tomorrow too? Hate that. But removing it is worse. Way worse. Ugh, what was I trying to say?'
The thought of the 'full-body tight embrace' exclusive to Dain Adamas made fury surge again, derailing her train of thought—but as the Lord of Magic, she reined in her emotions.
And continued her line of thinking.
'Yeah, I'm inevitably feeling this injustice from Stay's favoritism, so I'll rightfully protest next treatment. But I was saying May Luina won't. Because she's the Saintess. A lofty Saintess wouldn't catch feelings for a mere F-rank like Stay.'
Mir Ryuin concluded it with the exact same thought May Luina had.
'Definitely. Dain Adamas, getting squeezed tight by Stay right now... Hoo. Under treatment—she won't feel my discomfort listening to his voice tomorrow either. She's the type who lives alone in the world, with power that lets her. Bet she didn't even accept a speaker. It's Dain Adamas, after all.'
Endless reasons to quell her anxiety echoed through Mir Ryuin's mind.
But no matter how she listed them and denied it, she couldn't erase the lingering unease in her heart.
Because feeling this way herself meant her peers—May Luina and Dain Adamas—might feel it too.
'No way. Those two wouldn't. Absolutely not.'
Admitting that would add unresolvable anxiety atop the pain of hearing Stay's voice not meant for her through the speaker. So Mir Ryuin gritted her teeth and kept denying it.