Chapter 2
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: My Life's a Real Legend
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My life is a total legend. For real.
The EX-Rank Gate raid, undertaken with total commitment in collaboration between the Association and the three major guilds along with other giant guilds, has succeeded. However, this operation has left World Hero Ranking No. 1 'Dain Adamas', No. 2 'Mir Ryuin', and No. 3 'May Luina' in critical condition with unconsciousness. In response, the Association has stated they will hold a press conference as soon as treatment for the three heroes is complete...
Every gaze in the emergency room locked onto the urgent news blaring from the TV.
The EX-Rank Gate—a humanity's worst crisis that opened only once every few centuries.
When the gate observatory first detected the EX Gate, it felt like the world was truly ending, just as the records described. But thankfully, the raid seemed to have ended in success.
"Whoa, and it's not just anyone—those three are out cold? Must've been a seriously insane gate."
It was an unacceptable loss that the world's three strongest heroes had emerged in comas from severe injuries... but they'd conquered an EX-Rank Gate, the stuff of legends passed down only in myths. That had to count as a win.
"Exactly. They say an EX-Rank Gate destroys entire eras every time one opens. I think succeeding is the real miracle here."
"Yeah, true. Those three will get top-tier care and be back on their feet in no time anyway. If it was a true emergency, they'd have come straight here."
Right. If it had been a real emergency, we would've received those three heroes as patients before the news even broke.
Because this was the national public Awakener Exclusive Emergency Room.
The best place in the world, equipped with top talent and gear, where every emergency Awakener patient from across the globe ended up.
"Yep. The fact they didn't come here means it's not that serious. Oh, right—hey, rookie. Did you check the new anesthetics and painkillers that came in today for defects?"
"Ah, not yet. I had other stuff to handle first..."
"Not yet?"
And I'm the rookie here.
Not that I'm green or anything—it's my fourth year already.
It's just that this job is so brutally intense, any new hire bails after half a day at best, two days at worst. I'm no rookie by any stretch.
"This little shit... Hey, think you've got enough seniority to slack off? You're still the damn rookie. You hear me? Drown in the ramen broth I spilled in the break room and die, you punk!"
"Sorry! I'll go check it right now!"
What can you do? Even after four years, I'm still the rookie. If the seniors tell me to jump, I jump.
Muttering my 60,000th thought of the month about quitting, I bolted for the storage room.
I really want to quit. I want out of this hellhole.
Before I knew it, the three S-rank heroes in comas had slipped from my mind as I dreamed of an impossible resignation and stepped into the dimly lit storage room with its busted bulb.
Days like that—dreaming daily of quitting or outright mutiny—passed, and suddenly a month had gone by.
"Oh, you're here. Rookie. You've been reassigned. Head straight to your new post—they'll brief you there."
"Pardon?"
I'd gotten exactly three hours of sleep and dragged myself in half-awake, only to find the team leader—who should've been lording it over the underlings and snacking in the break room—greeting me at the emergency room entrance.
My still-booting brain struggled to process the bizarre scene and even more baffling transfer notice.
"Just go—they'll explain everything. You've done good work here; keep it up there. Alright, off you go."
With that curt, abrupt end to the announcement, the team leader handed me a note and headed back inside.
"...What the hell."
There's sudden, and then there's this. Even for a place worse than prison, this transfer felt off...
Shaking my head, I opened the note he'd given me and read the contents.
"Special Ward, top floor... VVIP room?"
Something felt seriously wrong.
"Ah, there you are."
I arrived at the location on the note to find a woman in a black suit waiting in front of the VVIP room door.
"Haa... What fresh hell is this at the crack of dawn."
She didn't exactly roll out the welcome mat. Even through her sunglasses, her annoyance was plain as day.
"You're Stay, right? From the emergency room."
"...Yes, that's me."
"I'm Nis. From the Association's Central Intelligence Department."
The woman who introduced herself as Nis pulled a document from her briefcase and handed it to me.
But I couldn't move a muscle, eyes glued to the paper.
Central Intelligence Department? Why would they summon someone like me...?
The department she belonged to was one no Awakener could ignore—one of the most feared organizations in the modern Awakener world.
Backed by the Association, they covered up its darkest secrets and pursued their goals by any means necessary.
Even massive guilds—composed solely of B-rank heroes or higher and wielding power rivaling nations—avoided them at all costs. That was the Association's Central Intelligence Department.
Them coming for me meant they knew everything—my whole life from birth, down to what I jerked off to yesterday...
Investigating targets thoroughly before acting was one reason they held such fearsome repute.
Why would such a powerhouse seek out a mere F-rank Awakener like me—a debtor drowning in billions of won, dreaming of quitting daily but knowing I'd get beaten to a pulp if I did...?
"Hey, Stay. You gonna take it or not?"
"Ah, yes! Here!"
Startled by Nis's irritated tone, I snatched the document from her hand.
I figured just taking it wouldn't cut it—she'd nag about me not reading it—so I started to check the contents, only for her to slap a pen down over it, blocking my view.
"I'll explain quick, so no need to read it. No time to wait anyway. Just sign while you listen. You don't have any other choice besides signing."
"Pardon? What do you even..."
"I said I'm from Central Intelligence, didn't I? You get the picture. We already know about that massive debt you could never repay without this job. Don't sign, and you'll get fired. Then you'll spend your life in some loan shark's expensive Awakener long-term storage, donating organs on demand."
"..."
Her words were blunt, rapid-fire, utterly devoid of tact or mercy.
But they weren't wrong, so I had no choice but to take the pen from her.
Just as she said—no options for me.
"Good, you catch on quick. Oh, and no need to hold a grudge. We won't cross paths after today, and the transfer contract's terms are pretty sweet for you anyway."
"Sweet terms?"
"Yeah. Just sign already—you will anyway."
She was right. No signature meant fired, so I'd sign eventually.
Fine. If you can't dodge it, might as well embrace it coolly.
As I started signing the document, she began explaining its contents.
"Your job from now on: caregiving for three Awakeners. Don't worry, they won't cause trouble. They're all in persistent vegetative states."
"...Pardon?"
"You know them. You've even met them. May Luina, Dain Adamas, Mir Ryuin. Familiar names, right? Not great history from your end, maybe... but they'll double your salary, so that's fine."
The moment she listed the three names I'd be caring for, I had to doubt my ears.
But glancing down at the document confirmed it—the same three names in black and white. This was real.
World Hero Ranking No. 1: Dain Adamas.
World Hero Ranking No. 2: Mir Ryuin.
World Hero Ranking No. 3: May Luina.
The world's top, strongest heroes—names anyone living in this era knew, Awakener or not.
A month ago, they'd sacrificed themselves to conquer the EX-Rank Gate that threatened global extinction, earning them the moniker "Humanity's Heroes" amid worldwide acclaim.
The only issue: they were doing all their "heroics" as vegetables.
"For the past month, the Association, global giant guilds, and even the Papal Court collaborated on treatments, but it was all for naught. Those three will lie there as vegetables for life. Even the Papal Court, who revere Hero May Luina as a saintess, has ruled revival impossible. No takebacks."
"I see..."
"They're vegetables now, no different from corpses, but they're still the heroes who saved humanity. So the nation decided to provide the best aftercare possible."
May Luina, Dain Adamas, and Mir Ryuin weren't exactly paragons of virtue—hell, they were downright scum—but they'd saved the world.
So I nodded at Nis's words.
"Mm, yeah, that's true. They're still humanity's saviors, unchanging fact... Huh? Best aftercare?"
Something in her explanation snagged oddly.
Why use a guy like me for top-tier aftercare?
"Yes. The best aftercare service we can offer."
"But why me?"
Nis answered my question like it was the most obvious thing.
"Because you work at the national public Awakener Exclusive Emergency Room."
"Pardon? What does that..."
"Surviving four years in that hellhole without a single blemish proves you're the best service we can give those three heroes. Didn't you know how Awakeners rate that ER?"
First I'd heard of it.
To me, the national public Awakener Exclusive Emergency Room was a pre-hell abyss where desperate, life-ruined low-rank Awakeners crawled in to scrape by.
"The public calls ER staff paragons of self-sacrifice. Of course, anyone who knows the reality couldn't say that... but the favorable public opinion holds."
"No way."
"That's why you caught our eye. Get it now? Why we picked you as their caregiver."
Her explanation made a twisted sort of sense, even if I couldn't grasp how that nightmare ER got such praise.
Sure, to an outsider, we might look heroic—sleeping three hours a day, no days off, all work.
But one nagging doubt remained.
So I asked Nis straight up.
"But I'm the most junior one there. Why pick me specifically?"
Nis let out a scoff, answering matter-of-factly.
"You said it yourself. You're the rookie. In pro terms, you got 'cannon foddered.'"
For selecting caregivers for world-saving heroes, it was brutally pragmatic and absurd.
"Anyway, main briefing's done. Now, rules for the job. No repeats—listen up once.
Her explanation of caregiving duties began.
"Until those three recover. You're on this gig for life. That's your duty."
It ended that simply.
As I nearly sprouted a question mark over my head at the sheer simplicity, she continued.
Now onto penalties for failure.
"FYI, this kicked in the moment you signed. Fail it, and Central Intelligence brands you an enemy. We'll spin public opinion: 'Worse than trash for abandoning world-saving heroes.' Guilty or not, we'll bury you in crimes and execute you summarily."
"..."
"Eh, double salary, light workload. Think of it as lifetime employment?"
Not comforting to a guy dreaming of paying off debts, quitting, and opening a cozy cafe in the suburbs.
The Papal Court nailed it as impossible revival—basically, serve these three veggies till I drop dead...
"Anyway, that's everything from me. Whatever happens on the job is your responsibility now. Do it with a sense of duty."
Whether I despaired or not, Nis snatched the signed contract and left.
Alone in the empty hallway, I painfully realized why the seniors dumped this on me—the ultimate low-rank scrub.
"Cannon fodder just 'cause I'm the rookie... Lifetime slave to vegetables..."
My life is a total legend. For real.