33. The Hymen
A quiet café. Jung Jae-ho couldn’t take his eyes off Kim Yu-ra.
“Jae-ho oppa?”
At first glance, she was still the lovable bride-to-be.A satin blouse, a midi skirt that fell just below the knees. Demure. Her makeup wasn’t overdone either. She claimed to be on her way back from visiting a hanbok shop with the elders, but this was always how she looked — the emblem of purity, the blessing God had permitted, the predestined partner, pretty and virginal.
“Jae-ho oppa, how was the conference?”
“It... ended well.”
“Both mothers said they liked the hanbok. They said we can pick it up whenever we want.”
Kim Yu-ra was gazing at him with that innocent face. The same transparent, clear eyes as always.But those eyes were actually a curtain hiding hundreds of shadows.A trial, not grace. A deception, not a blessing.Even now, Jung Jae-ho wanted to scream.He wanted to tell her to tear off the mask of lies. He wanted to interrogate her about swimmer Choi Young-in, the black exchange student Daniel Mbongo, and senior Joo Sung-hyun — one by one. He wanted to ask about the Spanish dick she’d had a one-night stand with, and the medical student too.But he couldn’t.
“Sister Yu-ra.”
Jung Jae-ho forced himself to hold back and called her name.
“Sister? All of a sudden? What’s going on today? Why...”
“How about... we... um... share a prayer request? One each?”
Even forcing out one word at a time was hard, but Jung Jae-ho wanted to give Kim Yu-ra a chance.A chance to tell the truth herself.He had no intention of demanding she confess every detail of her colorful, promiscuous, and meticulous sex life. He’d nearly lost his mind just hearing it from Joo Sung-hyun — so hearing it directly from Kim Yu-ra herself…? He wouldn’t have the strength to go on living after that.
“Sister Yu-ra. I’ll... go first?”
“Ah... okay.”
Jung Jae-ho planned to end this quietly, as long as she would just confirm that she wasn’t pure.Three weeks before the wedding. Soon it would be twenty days.Even if he called it off now, the cancellation penalties alone would be close to 100 million won. The social damage would be indescribable. The members of Hope Church in Gangnam — especially the youth division — practically everyone knew Jung Jae-ho’s couple.‘Still, I can end this with minimal damage.’It wasn’t a decision based purely on efficiency.To be honest…He wanted to take responsibility for judging Kim Yu-ra through the lens of his own virginity obsession.He’d been pathologically obsessed with purity, had mentioned it directly and indirectly hundreds of times. Wasn’t it possible that Kim Yu-ra had simply performed to match that expectation?If you assigned blame, Kim Yu-ra’s sin was far greater — but it wasn’t a hundred to zero.‘I’ll bear some of the weight too.’Jung Jae-ho began to pray. His throat kept tightening.
“...God. I have always prayed with my fiancée for a pure family, a holy first night. But the truth is, I have a fear. That if there’s something hidden between us, when it comes to light later, it will cause even greater pain.”
“Jae-ho oppa?”
“If there’s a heavy burden on your heart, I pray you can share it here today... This is my last prayer request.”
A final prayer request. A notice that she needed to speak now, while she still could.
“......”
“If there’s anything Sister Yu-ra wants to receive prayer for, I’ll listen too.”
A calm suggestion… but Kim Yu-ra’s lips were frozen in an awkward smile.Jung Jae-ho didn’t rush her. He just looked at her calmly.She was still beautiful, even now.Her hair falling over her blouse, her skin still retaining its freshness.But there must have been a time when she was even more beautiful than she was now in her late twenties. A time of less refined beauty, but more youthful radiance.Like her college years, when she attended church faithfully and had sex.Even though he knew he shouldn’t think this way, even though he knew dwelling on it would only deepen the wound, the thoughts kept rising.His fingertips trembled. Unlike him, who had endured until his mid-thirties before meeting Kim Yu-ra, the men who had been by her side back then…‘They must have enjoyed her without any effort.’The cruel realization clawed at Jung Jae-ho’s heart.He used to look with pity on couples who had sex the moment they met — but now, he couldn’t.Swimmer Choi Young-in, who had first opened a new world to Kim Yu-ra.Kenya’s Daniel Mbongo, who had come in second because his recovery was lacking, but was first in size.And Joo Sung-hyun, who had had far more relations than the swimmer and the black exchange student combined… first place. She’d even attended a discipleship training testimony event after having sex four times in his studio apartment that same day. Four times in a row.Just as the unstoppable imagination was making Jung Jae-ho’s chest ache—
“Jae-ho oppa.”
After a long silence, Kim Yu-ra finally spoke.Her eyes, which had seemed to avoid his gaze, met his again — and there was a firmness in them, the look of someone who had made a decision. Her hands were neatly folded on her lap.And then a sorrowful, fragile smile… Jung Jae-ho felt a slight relief.Yu-ra had made up her mind. She was going to tell the truth.
“I’ve been praying with you too, oppa, and I finally feel like I need to establish myself more firmly. I’ll pray that I can prepare my heart well before God, and ask for the courage to be honest with you too.”
“Sister Yu-ra...”
“But could you give me some time? Just one day.”
Kim Yu-ra asked for just one day. Jung Jae-ho nodded with difficulty. One day was fine.
“I just need to give you the answer you want, right? I knew this day would come eventually.”
That was what Kim Yu-ra murmured, sorrowfully, having obtained a reprieve.A somewhat futile end. In the end, he couldn’t become a judge.Even so, Jung Jae-ho thought this was good enough, and swallowed his tears.
So it had come to this after all.Having been asked by Jung Jae-ho for the truth, Kim Yu-ra activated her response plan.
“Mom. It’s urgent. Drive me.”
“Can you get that in just one day?”
“There’s a women’s clinic that specializes in pre-conception checkups.”
“You’ve got a plan for everything, don’t you.”
“Hurry!”
The first step was heading to a women’s clinic that specialized in pre-conception and wedding checkup packages. The director was a former associate professor at a university hospital, so the clinic had authority and was strict about privacy. Of course, she’d already scouted it out.She’d been preparing since right after one of her friends had stirred up trouble in front of her fiancé (“Are you still in touch with Senior Sung-hyun?”).The goal was to get a brief medical opinion note.‘I was hoping I wouldn’t have to use this.’It was a riskier card than the mobile wedding invitation she’d sent to Joo Sung-hyun.Because her (current) in-laws were a family of doctors. She hadn’t sent the invitation first for nothing.The effect would be certain, but it would distance her from the married life she’d dreamed of.The role model young couple. Sweet marital relations. The release from abstinence.But once she played this card, she couldn’t predict the future.
“Yu-ra. But doing all this... is it because Jung-ssi...”
“I think he heard something from Senior Sung-hyun. Given Jae-ho oppa’s personality, he probably couldn’t ask outright, right? But Senior Sung-hyun must have mentioned it indirectly, just to screw me over.”
“Indirectly? How can you be sure?”
“If he’d heard everything, Jae-ho oppa would have gone ballistic. You know how obsessed he is with purity.”
Kim Yu-ra’s judgment was that getting the marriage done by any means was the better option.Married life would become much harder, but she had already endured five years of patience to find the perfect partner. Compared to that, this was nothing. He was a good person — she could soothe him and win back his love.Kim Yu-ra headed to the women’s clinic.
“Kim Yu-ra? Please come into the exam room. You have a same-day wedding checkup package booked, correct?”
“Yes... the wedding isn’t far off.”
“It’s good to get all the pre-conception checkups done before the wedding. That was a wise decision. We’ll check your uterus, ovaries, and...”
The medical staff mainly mentioned the uterus and ovaries.But the opinion note she received after the twenty-minute exam contained other information as well.Professional but ambiguous.Exactly the opinion she had wanted.‘This is enough.’She decided to use the weapon she had hastily secured without delay.With the opinion note in her possession, Kim Yu-ra headed to her future in-laws’ house.…One hour later. Kim Yu-ra stood before her future parents-in-law and her fiancé.
“Yu-ra. What’s going on?”
“Here... it’s a medical opinion note. The answer Jae-ho oppa wanted.”
Kim Yu-ra submitted the opinion note to her future parents-in-law.Her future father-in-law, a gastroenterologist like Jung Jae-ho who now made a fortune from corporate health checkups. And her future mother-in-law, an honorary professor of obstetrics and gynecology.They were the ones who had bought their only son a 3.4 billion newlywed house in cash.At church, they were a deacon and a deaconess respectively. Their personalities were dignified.The reason Kim Yu-ra had invested so much effort in Jung Jae-ho over two years was largely due to their influence. She could see too clearly what she would gain if the marriage succeeded.‘Jae-ho oppa. I’m sorry.’It was a terrible thing to do to her fiancé, who was just blinking beside his parents.He had probably imagined a calm, one-on-one conversation. Not her suddenly presenting an opinion note in front of his parents.But for the opinion note to have its full effect, submitting it to her future parents-in-law was the right move.Fortunately, the situation unfolded exactly as she had expected.
“Son. Did you ask for this checkup...?”
“No, Mother! I, I got it because I wanted to prove myself.”
“Oh, Lord...”
“I thought it was the surest way. Oppa never asked for anything like this, never even mentioned it. I just...”
I just wanted to prove to oppa that I’m a healthy and clean woman.Kim Yu-ra added shyly, emphasizing the word clean.Her future parents-in-law — especially her future mother-in-law, who specialized in obstetrics and gynecology — looked troubled and began to scold their son.
“Son. You must have put so much pressure on her... I’m speechless.”
Her future mother-in-law’s expression was twisted, barely holding back from cursing.The reason was the phrase written at the end of the opinion note.
[Hymenal tissue remnant. No clear evidence of traumatic rupture. Unable to definitively determine sexual experience.]
A hymen examination, one of the options in the wedding package checkup.You couldn’t determine sexual experience based solely on the hymen.And her future parents-in-law were doctors.But as parents, they were also in a position to know better than anyone their son’s obsession with purity.Especially her future mother-in-law, who had even taken the brunt of the blame for her son (It’s because my mom is strict.).Still, a hymen examination was a different matter. For her future mother-in-law, who had served as vice president of the Korean Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology, it was like being splashed with filth.
“Son. Did you have to go this far?”
“Jae-ho! Apologize to Yu-ra right now. Look how distressed she was... hoo.”
“Jae-ho oppa. If this isn’t enough, I can even get tested for hymen reconstruction surgery...”
“Yu-ra. That’s enough!”
It seemed there was no need to get tested for hymen reconstruction surgery.In fact, at this point, she wouldn’t have minded getting it.Kim Yu-ra hadn’t had her hymen reconstructed.She just had a blessed, unique constitution — a remnant hymen despite all that sex.Now the key was Jung Jae-ho’s reaction when he belatedly confirmed the opinion note.
“I’m sorry, Yu-ra. I guess I put pressure on you.”
Jung Jae-ho offered an unexpectedly clean apology.He accepted his parents’ scolding — who were criticizing their son performatively while watching their future daughter-in-law — with the same clean composure.I’m sorry, I’ll apologize to Yu-ra over and over again. I won’t doubt Yu-ra anymore.It was the reaction Kim Yu-ra had hoped for.
“Yu-ra. The wedding is still on schedule, right?”
The wedding was still on schedule.It was what she really wanted to hear, but something felt off. It was too easy.
“Oppa. If I’ve put you in an awkward position, I’m really...”
“No. I’m sorry.”
“Uh...”
“I’m actually grateful you went this far. Thanks to you, I can let go of my anguish.”
Jung Jae-ho’s eyes were clouded, darker than usual.Either way, the wedding was proceeding as planned.The wedding was.