Chapter 57
Chapter 57
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 57
Chapter Title: The Saint's Inner Thoughts
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"Let's stop this and break up now."
I announced the end of our contract relationship to Victoria.
After all, I had originally agreed to be her fake lover only until we defeated the Succubus Queen Bellamora, and now a reason had emerged that made it impossible to continue this relationship.
"Why on earth…."
Victoria bit her lower lip hard and asked me back, her face pale as a sheet. From her perspective, my actions seemed incomprehensible.
— Victoria I was rejected. Rejected. Rejected…. Why? I thought Lord Astal liked me too…? Victoria's inner voice swirled with despair. Her eyes were reddening as she pressed me for a reason, but…
"……."
Instead of answering, I remained silent.
First, my body had now taken on Victoria's place in living a life with a time limit.
Having shouldered all the side effects of the miracle that turns one's entire body into flowers, it wouldn't be strange if I died tomorrow.
'…There was no other way to save you.'
I gritted my teeth and swallowed the words I wanted to say to Victoria. The reason I had tried to kill myself by drowning was also because I didn't want to die in front of her.
I thought that since a body submerged in water decomposes quickly, my identity couldn't be verified after just a little time passed.
"I'm sorry. I don't think I'll be able to answer your feelings yet."
"What do you mean you can't answer? My feelings of affection for you are this immense and tender…."
— Victoria Even if you hate me, it's fine. I'll just like you that much more. Victoria's inner voice and spoken words pierced my heart like a sharp skewer. Each of her words felt like it was strangling my neck.
"…I don't think I'm ready yet."
I barely managed to utter the bitter words while gently stroking Victoria's head. I brushed aside the wet hair clinging to her cheek.
"You'll be able to meet someone better than me."
The second reason was that I had come to like Victoria more than I had imagined.
If I almost died just defeating one of the Four Heavenly Kings, I felt like I would never forgive myself if she lost her life at the hands of the Demon King.
I might lose my life in the next battle, and I didn't want to leave any lingering attachments.
At the very least, I wanted to accept Victoria's feelings after killing the Demon King, once everything had turned peaceful.
"…Are you, by any chance, homosexual?"
"No."
"Then do you have someone else you like? You're not impotent, are you?"
"That's not it either."
Hearing my excuses, Victoria continued to voice her doubts, her face looking as if she might burst into tears at any moment.
Why was I rejecting her confession when I had no one else I liked and no clear reason?
"Then why on earth…. are you pushing me away? Don't you know that such a half-hearted, gentle statement hurts the other person even more…!"
— Victoria You're the worst kind of man. Someone who knows the other person's feelings yet ruthlessly tramples on them…. Victoria's hands trembled slightly as she weakly pounded my chest. It seemed like she was trying to relieve the suffocating feeling in her heart, so I decided to silently take it.
— Victoria If only I had been a little kinder to you, if I had learned about your past sooner and comforted you, would the outcome have been different? In her heart, Victoria was regretting. She was thinking that if she hadn't been so sharp-tongued, if she had shown her true feelings a bit earlier, things might not have turned out like this.
"I'm sorry. I'll do better. So please, don't say we should break up…. No, at least give me a month to sort out my feelings…."
Victoria was sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down her face. Seeing her pleas gradually weaken, it seemed she had realized she couldn't hold onto my heart.
Her pitiful, wretched appearance, like a rain-soaked puppy, was the complete opposite of her usual playful and confident demeanor.
"If you push me away, it hurts as if my heart is being stabbed by a knife. Each of your tender words feels like it's strangling me to death…."
"…I'm sorry."
I hugged Victoria tightly, trying to comfort her. It was the last kindness I could offer her.
Our relationship, which had been filled with endless, intense conflict, was ending in the worst possible way.
"I love you. I love you…."
— Victoria I love you…. As if on cue, the night rain falling from the sky concealed the tears flowing from both Victoria's and my eyes.
Just as the campfire that had brightly illuminated us went out, plunging us into complete darkness…
"…Could it be, you don't have many days left because you transferred all the flowers from my body to yours? Is that why you're deliberately trying to make me hate you?"
Victoria carefully observed the faint floral scent emanating from my body and my condition visible in the darkness, then let out a dry breath as if she had noticed something.
Until now, she had been too flustered by my rejection to properly bring up the subject.
"Please, answer me. Your body has changed to flowers to that extent, there's no way you're okay…!"
"……."
"I was willing to die to save you…! So why did you do something so foolish…!"
I felt the same way Victoria did.
I wanted to save her, even if it meant I died.
But I couldn't easily voice those words.
"…I had no choice."
In this world, I've seen too many instances where people say everything will be fine, and then one of them dies.
Because I already knew, to the very marrow of my bones, how painful irresponsible words and love with nowhere to go could be.
"I'll do my best to speak to the Heavenly God. I'll make any sacrifice to save you…. Please, don't leave my side…."
Victoria grasped my hand with her trembling one. The chill from the rain was unmistakably felt in her touch.
"From now on, I won't curse at you, I won't verbally abuse you, and I won't tease you…."
Victoria couldn't even look me in the eye properly now. Whether from the shock, even her eyelids were trembling slightly.
"…Just one more time, give me one more chance. I'll definitely make you like me."
Nevertheless, Victoria swallowed her tears and steadfastly asserted her will.
"Victoria…."
"…Don't answer. I've already noticed you're trying to make me hate you on purpose. Please don't make me any more miserable."
Just as I was about to say something, Victoria sealed my lips with hers, giving me a deep kiss.
*Smack, smooch…. Slurp…♡*
Victoria kissed me deeply and passionately, using her tongue, as if to convey the depth and heat of her affection.
— Victoria I like you, I love you, if you can't believe my love, then I have no choice but to engrave it directly onto your body like this…. Her inner thoughts showed that despite being rejected once, she had instead become bolder.
"…I've already done something like this to you before. I'll consider it my karma to accept."
After saying that, Victoria slipped a cosmos ring onto my ring finger and forced a smile as if to say it was okay.
"So, you just think about how you'll love me from now on. I'll scold you every time you say you regret it later."
Then, Victoria hugged me tightly again, even pressing her chest firmly against mine in a provocative manner.
"From now on, I'll make sure your feelings of loving me grow larger than your feelings of hating yourself. So brace yourself."
Victoria, having momentarily dropped the extreme honorifics she usually used, kissed my cheek again and smiled.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ "…Did you two have a fight while I was gone?"
The first words Kyle said to me upon his return were exactly this.
"Why would you think that?"
Although it was a topic that pricked my conscience, I pretended not to know as much as possible. Because I thought if I properly brought it up, he would yell at me relentlessly.
"First of all, all the flowers that bloomed on Victoria's body have disappeared, and most of them have transferred to yours."
Kyle rested his chin on his hand and scrutinized my body from head to toe. I had tried to cover the flowers with my robe as much as possible, but it seemed insufficient.
"So what? That's just how it is."
"Second, don't you also think it's strange that Victoria hasn't been snacking at all lately? She used to go out with you every time to buy food…."
Kyle looked at me with narrowed eyes as he spoke.
"…She doesn't do that anymore, right? As if something's happened."
"……."
There wasn't a shred of falsehood in Kyle's words. After I rejected her confession, Victoria had been wasting away day by day.
Her habit of seeking out her favorite eateries had vanished, and food and water began to be left on the table.
The frequency of her smiling increased, but it felt awkward.
It was a subtle change that others might not easily notice, but to me, who had rejected her confession, it was unmistakably visible.
"Of course, seeing how she still tries to kiss you or cling to your arm like crazy when we're around…. It doesn't seem like her feelings have cooled…."
Kyle spoke to me as if something was troubling him. This moment, while Victoria was briefly away, was the only time we could have such a serious conversation.
Normally, she would be terrified even if I went to the bathroom, grabbing my arm tightly and refusing to let go.
"…I'll try to talk things out properly with Victoria."
I sighed deeply in response to Kyle's concern.
Because once midnight passed today, the pain-blocking magic would wear off, and I might truly lose my life.
There had already been times when I couldn't breathe properly or nearly lost my balance and collapsed, and Victoria had barely managed to help me.
"Yeah, Victoria was really worried about you when you collapsed. She cried constantly, never leaving your side, staying awake day and night for three days straight."
"……."
"No matter how much she played harsh pranks before or acted like she disliked you…. I think you should reciprocate the feelings of someone who likes you."
As if seeing right through my thoughts, Kyle patted my shoulder in encouragement.
"You don't dislike Victoria either, do you?"
I couldn't properly answer Kyle's question.
Because if I acknowledged these feelings, it seemed I wouldn't be able to reject her love any longer.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ After concluding my conversation with Kyle and returning to the inn room, I was greeted by Victoria in a shameless outfit.
It was a violent sight: she wore my robe over her completely naked body and had wrapped the bandage I usually kept in my hand around her ample chest to cover it.
"…The Heavenly God has delivered a new oracle. Lord Astal."
Victoria had turned off all the lights in the room, lit only a small aromatherapy candle, and was sending me a lewd gaze.
The fragrant, strong scent paralyzed my sense of smell, and the stimulating sight that caught my eye kept drawing my attention.
"You, that outfit…."
"…It's attire befitting the ritual. Is there something strange about it?"
"No, that's mine…."
"Isn't it my large chest that you like? I merely judged this method to be the most effective for exciting you."
— Victoria I even managed to get permission from the Heavenly God. From now on, I won't hold back anymore. Hearing Victoria's inner thoughts, I realized something had gone terribly wrong. I felt like a small mouse standing before a giant snake.
"Lord Astal, how do you relieve your sexual desires?"
"…What?"
"I mean…. That, masturbation. From now on, I will help you with that. Although, since I must preserve my virginity according to the commandments, helping with my hands will be the limit…."
— Victoria How do I…. Saying it out loud is too embarrassing…. It's my first time, so I'll be clumsy, but will it be okay…? Victoria's voice trembled. For a moment, I wanted to believe I had misheard and doubted my own ears.
Originally, a Saint who would revert to an ordinary person if she lost her virginity would never be allowed to help a man relieve his sexual desires.
After all, among the Heavenly God's commandments, intercourse not intended for procreation was considered impious.
So for what possible reason did the Heavenly God grant permission?
"…In exchange for doing only that, I secured a promise to gradually remove the flowers from your body. By committing this impious act today, you can survive tomorrow, and tomorrow you can survive the day after."
With her ears bright red, Victoria tightly closed her eyes and continued speaking resolutely.
"Actually, after being rejected, I even thought about forcing myself on you to become an ordinary woman instead of a Saint…."
"That's a crime."
"If I can save your life with just this level of action, I am willing to dirty my hands."
As she said this, Victoria lay down, then crawled on all fours towards me, and with trembling hands began to undo the belt on my pants.
"This, it's swollen so it won't come down easily…. I'm sorry, but could you make it a little smaller…?"
— Victoria It's so big I can't even grasp it with both hands…. Will I really be able to do this well…? It seemed she was showing too many signs of being a virgin experiencing a man for the first time.