Chapter 31
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 31
Chapter Title: A Heart's Burden
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Passing by the golems with shattered cores, I ventured deeper inside, where books with pristine white covers greeted me.
Among them, one in particular caught my eye: a volume titled Research Materials on the Succession of Saints.
"...If you read it, there will be no turning back. Are you sure you're okay with that?"
-It must surely contain the reason I'm living on borrowed time, my remaining lifespan... You'll surely be disillusioned with a human like me.
Victoria grabbed my hand, her eyes pleading with me to stop here.
-Because I'm an ugly woman.
Reflecting on her actions and words toward me until now, she defined herself in a single phrase.
Victoria had acted paradoxically, unlike someone living a limited life, and had struggled desperately at the very end to be remembered.
"Are you that afraid of me knowing the truth?"
"Yes. I'd rather tell you myself, but... I'm afraid the way you look at me might change."
-You might start treating me with pity instead of love.
Victoria continued, calmly placing her hand over her chest. Looking at her tear-filled eyes that seemed ready to overflow, I could sense the emotion transmitted.
She was a born liar and a cynic.
To hide her shame, she had acted coldly even toward the man she secretly loved, maintaining a certain distance.
The pain of her body turning into flowers must have been unbearable, enough to make her wish for death. Yet, Victoria had not confessed the truth to me.
'Is love such a heavy emotion...?'
I couldn't understand it at all with my head. It wasn't rational. Shouldn't someone facing death beg for their life and scream that they want to live?
"Don't worry about that. Even if you were to die tomorrow, I'm the kind of man who would consistently curse you as a truly troublesome woman."
"...Isn't that just being trash?"
"No, I'd definitely find a way to save you, just so I can tease you about it forever."
I spoke in a light tone, as if it were nothing. Truthfully, even if Victoria were to die tomorrow, I was confident I wouldn't shed a single tear.
Because I would save the time for grieving or regretting to find a way to save her.
"Huh...?"
-Could it be... he noticed? Someone as insensitive as him...?
Hearing my words, Victoria raised her voice in surprise. She seemed suspicious, wondering if I had discovered she was living on borrowed time.
"What's wrong? I'm also known by the epithet 'The Harmless Mage,' after all. I should live up to the name."
Thanks to the advice Leozak had given me earlier, I had found a solution to some extent. The side effects of the Saint's Miracle were ultimately due to the Law of Causality.
In other words, if there was someone who could share that burden, it could be managed.
"...I don't believe that shared sorrow is halved, but I know better than anyone how terribly lonely pain is when you're alone."
As I said that to Victoria, I recalled my time staying at the Blue Magic Tower. When I first set foot there, I survived as a cleaner under the pretext of being a war orphan with no parents.
Once, after getting caught in the rain, I had no money to buy clothes to change into and came down with a severe fever. When I couldn't even move a finger, I couldn't help but despair at the fact that there was no one to care for me.
That's how I learned to live alone and how not to be disappointed by others.
Because I knew more keenly than anyone that humans are inherently cunning creatures—if they know another's weakness, they'll try to exploit it or inflict harm.
"So don't worry too much. No matter what comes out in the Forbidden Archives, I won't tell others or make fun of you arbitrarily."
I slowly met Victoria's gaze and reassured her. If I were her real lover, I probably would have hugged her or stroked her head here—some kind of proactive action.
"Lord Astal..."
-If you keep tempting me like this, it's problematic... My lower abdomen keeps trembling...
Contrary to her melancholic eyes and voice, her inner thoughts were making an astonishing statement that would surprise anyone who heard.
"......"
To avoid falling into temptation, I quickly ignored Victoria's gaze and pulled the book from the shelf.
Flipping past the records of the Nameless Saint and the Saint who performed miracles at the cost of losing her voice...
I finally found the content about Victoria.
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The Flower Saint, Victoria Everhart (9 years old).
- Complete loss of the right eye due to Miracle.
- Additionally, deterioration of hearing, taste, etc., and impairment of balance sense occurred.
- The flowers blooming on her body are connected to nerves; attempting to pluck, cut, or burn them causes extreme pain.
- They have also spread to vital organs such as the heart, lungs, and intestines; expected remaining lifespan is around 10 years. There appears to be no hope of surviving until adulthood.
- Observation results: Does not seem to be a valuable enough existence to be made into a puppet of the Papal Court.
- [Hold, waiting for the next generation Saint to be born is more efficient.]
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It was written in a very dry and unadorned style, but it clearly pointed to Victoria's death.
Between the pages were illustrations showing her appearance as a child.
I already knew some of this to an extent. Victoria often struggled to maintain her balance and had difficulty seeing from the parts covered in flowers.
It had become routine for me to support her from her right side or stay by her side to help.
"...Are you disillusioned? This was the truth I desperately hid."
Noticing what I had read, Victoria deliberately smiled slightly as she spoke. She was adorning herself with a false smile.
"You come of age this year...?"
"Yes. Originally, I should have died last year, but thanks to your care, Lord Astal, I was able to extend my life."
Victoria spoke of her own death as if it were someone else's affair. Having met all sorts of people, I knew what her actions meant.
'Either she's very self-objectified and has properly sorted out her feelings, or...'
It's a case of an extremely strong self-defense mechanism.
Victoria was the latter type of person. She must have lived a long time in the Holy Kingdom wearing the mask of a Saint.
"Thanks to you, I was able to live a little longer, so when we subjugate the Demon King, I will use my Miracles to the fullest for you."
-Now, I can risk my life for you, Lord Astal. Just as you did a moment ago.
Victoria forced a benevolent smile and lightly mentioned sacrifice, as if apologizing for the lies she had accumulated until now.
"...I have an idea."
I grabbed both of Victoria's hands and nodded as if asking her to trust me. She stared intently at my face with a curious expression, wondering what I was doing.
"Those flowers... I don't think we can remove them. The side effects will likely remain the same even when you use Miracles in the future..."
There was no fundamental solution for the Saint's Miracle.
It was a heteromorphic change caused by the Law of Causality, through which the gods influence this world.
'But, a person's body can also be thought of as a single magic circle.'
To save Victoria, I pondered the method of creating a spatial teleportation gate and chewed over the realization I had gained once more.
As I am now, I could combine different magic circles to create magic of a new realm.
If so, if I consider the flowers infesting Victoria's body as magic as well...
'...It should be possible to transfer them to my body.'
Fwaaat—
Magic circles unraveled like threads around Victoria and me, rotating and emitting light as they analyzed each other's bodies.
"Lord Astal, could it be...?"
"Let me experience just how painful it is. I've been incredibly curious all this time why you wouldn't listen to me."
I spoke to Victoria, tasting a bitter, metallic flavor in my mouth. I clenched my teeth hard, forcing myself to endure the pain.
Even though only a small part of my body was turning into a flower, it began to hurt as if a pile of burning needles were piercing that area.
But,
"...If the flowers don't disappear from your body, the only way is to transfer them one by one to my body and remove them."
This was the only method that came to mind now.
I couldn't directly fix Victoria's body. Nor could I remove the flowers, the root cause of the problem. The pain she felt couldn't simply be erased into nothingness.
'This is indeed a bit tough...'
I cast a Silence spell on myself to prevent any screams from escaping. Meanwhile, I deceived Victoria, acting as if it were nothing serious.
"Ah, ahh... No! Stop the magic right now! Astal!! There's no way you can endure this pain. You'll surely die from shock...!"
-I hate seeing you in pain more than I hate dying!
Victoria tried to shake off my hands, struggling to cancel the magic that was transferring and blooming the flowers, but...
"I won't overdo it. The best plan is to transfer and remove just one flower per day."
Squeeak.
I gripped Victoria's hands even tighter as I spoke. If not this method, I couldn't think of any other way to extend her lifeline.
"So, for now, trust me. Victoria."
I forced a smile as I spoke. Behind the Silence spell, a version of me screaming with tremendous cries and pain was hidden.
But still, for her sake—for the woman who had lived her whole life as a Saint, suffering from Miracles.
"Right now, I'm your lover, aren't I? Even if it's just a one-month contract relationship."
I wanted to say something cool like this at least once.
"......"
Currently silent, Victoria's eyes were red, and hot emotions were dripping down.
She looked like she had something to say, but seemed unwilling to disturb me as I focused on transferring the flowers...
-I like you, Lord Astal.
At that moment, the Saint's inner thoughts,
-I like this kind, gentle part of you.
The feelings Victoria harbored for me,
-The fact that you would go this far for me is truly lovely...
were being conveyed fervently in a form that could also be called affection.
-Someday, I want to honestly convey my feelings to you. Without adorning myself with lies, only with genuine emotion...
I, who could hear her inner thoughts, had no choice but to suffer torment in my heart.
-Someday, I will definitely tell you I love you—.
"...Alright, let's stop here for today. I've removed the flower from the heart first, which I thought was the most dangerous, so you shouldn't suddenly die now."
I had barely managed to transfer the flower that had bloomed on Victoria to my own heart and quickly burned it away using magic.
I evasively spoke and created some distance from her side.
If I listened to that confession all the way through, even someone like me wouldn't be able to help but be affected.