Chapter 127
Chapter 127
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 127
Chapter Title: The Thoughts of the Saint
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The fake Victoria knew the reason why Astal had been prevented from fighting Memoria.
She probably knew that one of them was a fake. The sense of incongruity she'd been feeling for a while now was causing the emotion of terror to well up inside her.
Earlier, seeing the grilled lizard hadn't stirred her appetite at all, and seeing demons or monsters hadn't evoked feelings of vengeance or disgust.
Clearly, the 'Victoria' in her own memories loved delicious food more than anyone and would loathe the demons who killed her parents, yet...
"...You don't know my heart."
The fake Victoria said to the real one, a single tear trickling down her cheek. She had also heard the conversation between Kyle and Astal a moment ago.
If one of them was a fake, she had overheard everything, even the discussion about having to transfer memories to the real one.
In truth, the fake, who couldn't hear the voice of the Heavenly God and couldn't even use miracles or divine power, had already suspected her own identity.
"Even if you claim to be the fake Victoria, you have no lingering attachments because you lack the precious memories spent with those dear to you."
The fake Victoria had been trying her best to ignore that fact. Because for her, the one year spent with Astal was more precious than anything.
Astal had given her, who once thought she must die someday, hope to live again, and he embraced all her weaknesses as an ordinary, vulnerable person.
"...Why would I have no lingering attachments? Your foolishness has its limits."
Watching the fake like that, the real Victoria snorted with a look of disdain. Her expression showed a hint of irritation and seriousness.
"If I am the fake, and I must transfer my memories to you... then I'll never get to see that adorable man again for the rest of my life."
The real Victoria, who had lost her memories, let out a deep sigh as she spoke. To the extent she would praise him like this, Astal perfectly matched her ideal type.
The hero she imagined during her childhood, when she was deceived by a demon disguised as the village chief and locked in a basement, forced to keep using miracles on an evil god's statue.
For Victoria, there was a time she believed that someday, a hero would come to save her and turn all her misfortune into happiness.
The heroes in fairy tales were always like that. Wielding a shining holy sword to slay the Demon King and bring peace to the world, heroes seemed to have no limits.
"...Truthfully, I wish I could have met Lord Astal in my childhood, but fate is a cruel thing, so I also feel regret."
Having lived a life where her hopes were crushed, Victoria had finally met a person who most resembled that hero.
A man known by the epithet 'Harmless Mage,' who spared neither his life nor body to save people.
A man who saw her not as Saint Victoria, but simply as a fearful, weak individual.
"If Lord Astal had known I was being abused by demons in the past, he would have tried to save me even at the cost of his own body."
"......"
The moment Victoria thought of Astal, a gentle smile spread across her lips. Even though she had no memories with him, she could feel consideration and love in his slightest actions.
When was the last time she had received such unconditional love?
Most people who approached her either wanted her miracles as a Saint or coveted her body.
"I can't understand how a man worthy of being nominated as the next Blue Tower Master struggled until his entire body was covered in scars to save a terminally ill girl with a death sentence."
To the extent Victoria spoke like this, Astal tried to save her simply because she was a living being, regardless of her being a Saint.
"That's why I envy you endlessly. Frankly, I don't have the charm to captivate men, and I'm not particularly eloquent, so I just bluntly speak my mind."
Victoria looked at the fake and spoke.
In the Holy Kingdom of Aurelium, she had put on a strong front, never hesitating to speak harshly to avoid being easily swayed by others, but...
"...Ah, of course, I cannot deny the part about having a promiscuous body capable of bewitching men."
The fake kneeling before her was more free-spirited and unadorned than anything else.
Suddenly, she felt envious.
If only she hadn't lost her memories, she might have lived an ordinary life, regardless of her position as a Saint.
"Are you telling me to dust myself off and get up by making a joke on purpose?"
"You caught on cleverly. Even I, who am perfect in all things, have no talent for jokes."
The real Victoria, who had lost her memories, let out a soft chuckle as she looked at the fake. This was the first time she had successfully joked with someone.
"Don't be afraid of your existence disappearing. Haven't we always resolved to die for the sake of the world anyway?"
"That's certainly true, but..."
The fake Victoria wiped her tears and pouted her lips slightly. She thought the other woman was so composed because she knew she wouldn't be the one to vanish.
"If I can never see Lord Astal again, I'd rather run away forever from this situation right now. I am, after all, an endlessly weak human."
The fake Victoria wanted to see Astal more than anyone right now. As she remembered, she wanted to soothe her anxiety in his embrace and have him whisper his love.
But she was likely the fake, and Astal seemed to have realized it too, keeping his distance from her.
"...Is that truly so? For the man you love, can you not cast aside everything you have?"
The real Victoria patted the fake's back and threw out a meaningful remark. Even without memories of being with Astal, she could vaguely understand what that feeling was like.
"I don't know what you intend by saying that. If my existence and memories disappear, what meaning would there be...?"
"...If I were you, even if I were a fake, I would have done my utmost to help Lord Astal."
Having said that, the real Victoria summoned her hammer and headed towards the place where Astal and his comrades were fighting Memoria.
Was she really planning to sacrifice herself?
Looking at the sad glint in her eyes and her resolute expression, it seemed likely.
Before meeting Astal, she was always a madwoman who thought only of dying for the world.
Even as her body turned into flowers, she hated how people showed greedy attitudes, demanding she use miracles, so she just wanted to die.
"Aren't you afraid? If you face Memoria this time, you could really lose all your memories."
The fake Victoria, vaguely aware of that fact, asked the real one with a slightly trembling voice, worried.
If she fell to Memoria again, she could lose all her memories, or worse, her very existence might be erased from the world.
Or, Victoria might multiply into many copies, creating a situation where Astal himself would have to kill them.
"I am not that weak of a human. For the sake of the person I love, I'm fine with dying anytime. If, by chance, something goes wrong with me... I entrust Lord Astal to you."
Seeing that, the real Victoria showed a confident smile and slung her hammer over her shoulder.
Now, just thinking of Astal filled her with strength from the depths of her heart.
No matter if the opponent was one of the Four Heavenly Kings or the Demon King, she felt she could kill them for his sake.
"That is the feeling of love I admired and imagined in my childhood."
Love.
Last time, when attacked by Memoria, the reason she pushed Astal away was probably this.
"I am Victoria Everhart. A woman of misfortune once called by the epithet 'Flower Saint.'"
The real Victoria steeled her resolve, even leaving behind words entrusting Astal to the other's care should anything happen to her.
In the past, Victoria always wanted to die.
Having lost her parents early, she had no hope for life, and the sensation of her body turning into flowers was a pain too difficult for a young girl to bear.
"Don't do that. The one who should bite her tongue and die is the fake, me...!!"
"Isn't it better than being taken hostage by Memoria and having to sacrifice someone else's memories? I can tell very well from your expression how precious the memories of the past year are."
Chosen by the Heavenly God to become a Saint, yet she loathed herself for being unable to do anything.
"...I have always longed for an ordinary life. Not becoming a Saint, but living a happy, simple life with parents or a lover."
As she had shown earlier, she couldn't help but tremble in fear, dreading the coming of tomorrow.
"If you're afraid of disappearing from this world, then stay right there. Even if you are a fake, I will at least give you the chance to live as the real one."
The real Victoria concluded her words impassively. As the one without the memories of the past year, she had no confidence she could treat Astal the same way as before, no matter how hard she tried.
"...However, for the sake of the person I love, I will do anything. Even if it means burning up everything I am, even if it means I never get to see Lord Astal again."
Thinking of Astal, the real Victoria smiled faintly without realizing it. Perhaps it was because the dreadful flowers that had bloomed all over her body were now gone, and the vision in her lost right eye had returned.
"That is what I now consider 'true' love. Well, I don't know what you think, though."
"......"
Seeing that, the fake Victoria realized that the real one was indeed different.
And the moment she realized that, strangely, the painful feeling weighing on her heart seemed to fade away.
Perhaps, somehow, she became certain that even if she disappeared, the person she loved would not be unhappy.
"I understand. Let's go to Lord Astal together. I can't just stand by and watch you act cool all by yourself and score points as a lover."
The fake Victoria chased after the real one's footsteps, thinking that in her next life, she wanted to be like her.