Chapter 1
Chapter 1
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: I Can Hear the Saint's Inner Thoughts
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"Please listen carefully. Astal, for the next week, exactly one week, could you pretend to be my lover?"
It was clearly a sudden statement that started it all.
This entire mess began with a proposal from Victoria, the Saint of the Hero's party, whose body was half-covered in flowers.
"...Why should I?"
I looked at Victoria and responded with disinterest.
Because over the past year of our journey to defeat the Demon King, our relationship was closer to friends—or rather, adversaries—than lovers.
"Everyone else already has someone they're seeing."
"So, I'm asking, why should I specifically pretend to be your fake lover? There are plenty of other guys on the streets."
I didn't understand. Why would the Saint, who usually seemed frustrated at not being able to scold me, suddenly make such a proposal?
I brought a cigarette to my lips, stressed, and Victoria used a miracle to stop me.
"Tell me right now. Will you do it, or not?"
The cigarette made of magic leaves immediately turned into a flower, becoming unusable.
Victoria bit her lower lip, revealing an unpleasant expression. She really hated it when I drank or smoked.
"If I do it, will you tell me the reason?"
I crossed my arms slightly and retorted. It was rare for someone as serious as her to make such a request to me.
"...You're aware that among the Four Heavenly Kings we have to face, there is a powerful enemy called the Succubus Queen, right?"
Victoria began her story, her lips twitching slightly.
"That's right. You screamed and fainted the moment you saw her..."
The Succubus Queen, a dream demon who controls people's dreams and is considered the most powerful among them, had persistently targeted Victoria, the Saint.
Back then, Victoria was so shocked she couldn't sleep for days.
"...It may be presumptuous to say, but you appeared in my dreams, Sir Astal."
"What? Don't lie. You said you absolutely hated guys like me."
"Yes, I truly do. Later, when I realized the truth, I wanted to vomit out everything inside. The Succubus Queen must have used the fact that I dislike you."
Victoria stuck out her tongue and pretended to gag. Her disgusted look, as if she were seeing something lower than an insect, almost wounded my feelings a little.
"It was a truly horrific nightmare... seeing a man like you proposing to me."
"So, how is that related to pretending to be lovers?"
"If I experience being lovers with a man like you in advance, wouldn't I be able to escape the Succubus's illusionary dreams too?"
Victoria said she hadn't been able to wake from the illusionary dream, just in case. It happened because she had countless men who secretly loved her.
I nodded at Victoria's statement.
"Originally, the way to wake from a dream is to realize the discrepancy with reality."
By the way, I also dreamed of Victoria, the Saint. She was a beautiful woman who turned heads just by walking.
Her appearance, said to have been carved by the Heavenly God Himself, and her figure, which would make even non-believers overflow with faith, were captivating enough to plunge anyone into torment, but...
'I realized it was fake the moment I heard Victoria say she actually liked me, and immediately woke from the dream...'
Victoria's actual personality was really difficult and annoying.
She'd suggest praying to the Heavenly God several times a day, or when I was on night watch, she'd secretly approach and ask if I needed someone to talk to.
When she tried to ban all the alcohol and cigarettes I enjoyed, claiming they were bad for my health, I really wanted to grab her by the collar and fight.
"Is there really no other way? Isn't this a problem that could be solved if you just got a real lover? There are paladins under the Papal Court too."
Becoming lovers with such a Victoria, even if it was fake, was something I disliked.
I subtly shook my foot under the table, hidden from the Saint, weighing the pros and cons in my head.
1. If I pretend to date Victoria, what happens to all the memories we've shared as friends until now?
2. Honestly, Victoria is a beauty, both objectively and subjectively. It's not a losing deal for me.
3. But her personality is absolutely terrible. To the point where no one else could endure it.
— 4. Can I become her fake lover, accepting our past friendship, affection, and her being a pain in the ass?
"I'd rather die than become your lover."
My answer was No.
So I tried to refuse Victoria's proposal and suggest she find someone else, but...
"That's even worse. Right now, the Papal Court's paladins are nothing but lust-driven men trying to win my favor."
Victoria shook her head, furrowing her brow even more than before. Well, I had heard rumors that the number of men applying to become paladins had quadrupled since she became the Saint.
"Well, if the paladins knew your real personality, they'd probably bite their tongues and die."
Looking at Victoria's face, I made a gesture of slitting my throat. She was an incredible person who went around smashing demon heads with a hammer.
"Sir Astal, do you know your personality is even more messed up?"
"...Is there any doubt, Your Saintliness?"
I hid the strength naturally gathering in my hand, struggling to keep a smile on my face.
'Honestly, if it weren't for that personality and way of speaking, I would have asked her out right away...'
No matter how I looked at it, I disliked the idea of becoming her fake lover. Look, even now, she hates me taking a sip of alcohol so much she snatched my glass and gulped it down.
Let's endure a little more. Her stubbornness like this will only last a moment.
We missed the Succubus Queen because Victoria, the Saint, fainted, but next time we meet, I'll just kill her.
"Hoo, Astaaal..."
Then, Victoria twirled her finger on the table and spoke with a slightly slurred voice. It was a level of aegyo that others might find cute.
A captivating woman breathing hot breaths, straightening her holy garments, silently expressing that it's hot here.
"Yes, Your Saintttliness."
But I'm not the one to fall for it here.
I immediately cast a magic spell on Victoria to maintain a cold temperature, blocking her transparent aegyo.
"Yah, isn't it cold! As expected from a man like you...!"
"I couldn't ignore Your Saintliness's heat, so this humble mage Astal used magic."
I must not give in.
Once, I carried a drunk Victoria to her bed, and she never let me live it down, teasing me with, 'Sir Astal, you really are impotent. I knew it.'
If I had actually laid a hand on her, I would have been arrested by the Papal Court. On charges of being a lust-driven bastard trying to violate the Saint.
"Astal, me... Am I not attractive?"
Then, Victoria, who seemed slightly tipsy, suddenly spoke in a soft tone.
She is definitely attractive. Pretty face, though her personality is prickly, she's not a completely bad person.
She actually cried and prayed for people who lost their families on the battlefield in the past.
"Who says you're not attractive?"
It's just that her mouth is a bit sharp and her personality is twisted.
"You do. Even if you dislike me, aren't you speaking too coldly?"
Victoria spoke almost tearfully. The Succubus's illusionary dreams depend on the user, so they could make her experience horrific nightmares repeatedly.
"Victoria, I know you're not drunk. How many times have I just watched people drink because of you? Your alcohol tolerance isn't this low."
"......"
*Hic*
Just how much had she been tormented by the Succubus Queen? She hiccuped and looked surprised.
Even though she's absolutely not the type to show such weakness, Victoria was trying to persuade me by even pretending to be drunk.
"So, what are the exact terms and duration? We need to be clear about these things."
I let out a deep sigh and handed Victoria a magically created parchment and pen. The floating objects drew the attention of those around us.
"...Huh? Really? I thought you'd tell me to endure it with willpower."
Victoria looked at me and opened and closed her mouth twice, as if she couldn't believe it. Her eyes said she didn't expect this to work either.
"Hurry up and set the terms. If you faint like last time, how are we supposed to save our injured comrades?"
Looking at Victoria, I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible. If it weren't for the Succubus Queen, I wouldn't be doing such a troublesome thing.
"First condition: this contract is only for exactly one week.... No. One week is too short, let's make it a month. A month is easier to explain to others."
I quickly wrote down the terms I had calculated earlier on the parchment. A mere week wouldn't be enough to notice the discrepancy between reality and dreams.
"Why is it easier to explain?"
"Because a month is when couples who date break up the most. You really haven't dated before, have you?"
"You haven't dated either."
"...Shut up."
I was at a loss for words at Victoria's jab. Before I knew it, she had gotten so close our breaths were almost touching.
"Second, when the contract period ends, we return to being friends."
"Th-that goes without saying. Are you doing this because you think you might genuinely start liking me?"
Victoria stumbled over her words slightly. It was the first time I'd seen her so flustered; she must be nervous because it's her first contract relationship.
"Of course not. If I saw you as a woman, I'd want to burn my own eyes with magic immediately."
"......"
Honestly, she feels more like a foul-mouthed younger sister from the neighborhood than a woman. Immature, blunt, more prickly than anyone, but not someone you can curse at.
"Third, no physical contact without the other's permission. Got it? Victoria?"
"Understood."
Even swallowing her saliva, the Saint stared holes through the parchment I was writing on.
"Finally, the fact that we're in a contract relationship is our secret..."
"Let's tell others we dated, and later say we broke up and returned to being friends. That seems the cleanest method."
"Good. Then it's settled?"
She's only quick-witted at times like this. Looking at Victoria who preempted my words, I grinned.
As expected of a comrade who's shared life and death. Someone I can trust with my back, and with whom a level of trust has formed where I could even entrust my hometown to her.
"Then, from now on, we are..."
We wrote each other's names on the parchment, created another copy of the contract, and each took one.
"Dating. For exactly one month. To build immunity against the Succubus Queen's attacks."
For that moment, Victoria and I exchanged glances, neither of us taking the lead.
"Then, may I try holding your hand? I've wanted to hold a man's hand sometime."
"You can, but are you that starved for men?"
"...Absolutely not."
Once permission was given, Victoria immediately intertwined her fingers with mine, coiling around them like a snake.
Her slightly raised smile and the corner of her mouth, perhaps from nervousness, were enough to make anyone mistaken.
"Your hands are cold. Did you know? There's an old saying that people with cold hands have warm hearts."
"That's true. You're an incredibly warm person."
"Was that an insult directed at me?"
For a moment, my heart almost skipped a beat.
Surely Victoria thinks a contract relationship is just a brief, fleeting fling.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ That's definitely how it should have been.
"Why are you staring so intently?"
- Finally succeeded! Now, using this excuse, I'll make him see me as a woman...!
Ever since making that contract, I suddenly started hearing Victoria's inner thoughts.