A Madman's Banquet
The Emperor could be summed up in a single sentence. No, in one word: madman. To me, the Emperor was simply a crazy bastard. You might think a lunatic in charge of running a vast empire like this one would drive the whole nation to ruin, but surprisingly, keeping an empire this massive running smoothly actually required a touch of insanity. Otherwise, protecting imperial authority and maintaining that power would be damn near impossible. In a good way or a bad way, the man was unhinged. That was the impression I got from the Emperor.
Honestly, just look at the fact that he asked me to create magic specifically to suppress his own sons' obsessive crushes on a woman. His way of thinking had clearly escaped the bounds of normal human logic. But he was also the godlike figure who poured an obscene amount of the imperial budget into our Magic Tower. So I couldn't possibly hate the man. If anything, I had to worship him. He was the colossal God of Wealth who bestowed funds upon the Magic Tower. And just as any devout follower would do anything for their god, I bowed so low before the Emperor that it looked like I was ready to lick his toes.
“Greetings to the major shareholder of the Magic Tower.”
“My dear friend, you look positively delighted. I must say, coming here in person—does this mean you really finished it in just two days?”
Instead of answering, I showed him the magic scroll I'd brought. It contained the spell that Riel and I had slaved over for two straight days. A spark of interest flickered in the Emperor's eyes as he examined it.
“At last, I can bring those troublesome boys back to their senses.”
“Just so we're clear, I won't take responsibility for any side effects.”
“Side effects? What are they?”
“I have no idea.”
Our eyes met. “…” “…”
A brief silence passed between us. But our gazes said everything that needed to be said. The following is my personal reconstruction of the eye conversation we shared:
Wait, seriously? You don't even know what the side effects are?
Yeah... I don't know what they are, but it'll be fine, right?
We're so fucked... It is safe though, isn't it?
It's not that bad. At worst, they'll just suffer for a few days?
Then it's not bad at all.
We reached an understanding through that exchange of looks. After ten years of knowing each other, we'd reached the point where we could hold entire conversations with nothing but our eyes.
Still, the idea of them doing that with another man pisses me off a little.
But he was our god. The major shareholder of the Magic Tower. What could I do? I simply offered my gratitude with the pure heart of a devoted follower.
“Hmm... Not bad at all.”
The Emperor nodded as he accepted the magic scroll.
“There are about three charges stored in it. If you need more, just send a letter.”
“I knew I could count on you.”
Seeing how satisfied he looked, it seemed the Magic Tower's budget would be getting a nice boost.
“Then I'll take my leave.”
I gave a small bow and quickly turned to go. Usually, this was exactly when the Emperor would tack on some bizarre request. But before I could escape, his voice caught me.
“You've only just arrived at the palace. Why are you in such a hurry to leave? We're hosting a banquet this time. It would be nice if you joined us. Don't you agree?”
God damn it.
The Emperor knew perfectly well how much I hated these things, yet he'd deliberately made the offer. Rage boiled up inside me, but I swallowed it for the sake of the Magic Tower's budget. I paused, forced an awkward smile, and answered.
“Unfortunately, I already have a prior engagement. Besides, I don't particularly enjoy banquets.”
I already hated crowds. The thought of mingling with those vomit-inducing nobles was even worse. I'd much rather go out for drinks with Riel. A banquet with nobles? Don't make me laugh. I swore I'd never set foot in the palace again.
Or at least I did, until—
“I'll increase the Magic Tower's budget.”
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned back to the Emperor.
“I'll attend immediately.”
Ah, I really can't resist a budget increase.
It was unfortunate for Riel, but I had no choice but to attend the imperial banquet. If she knew this was all for the sake of the Magic Tower's budget, maybe she'd understand.
I already want to go home.
My beloved Magic Tower felt even more distant now. These noble banquets just weren't my scene. No matter how many times I heard it, I could never get used to the way these people spewed empty flattery while subtly tearing each other down. Sometimes I really wanted to just punch their lights out.
Let's just get through today without any incidents.
I sincerely prayed for a quiet evening where no one bothered me. I was sipping wine while clinging to that hope when—
“Wow~”
Just one word. The moment I heard that voice, a sudden wave of dread washed over me. I slowly turned my head. There stood a golden-haired woman looking around with an expression that practically screamed, I'm different from all these other people. I'm incredibly pure and innocent.
Only then did one crucial fact hit me.
Right. This is a romance fantasy world.
I'd been so absorbed in magic lately that I'd nearly forgotten the original plot. But this was, without a doubt, the world inside a romance novel. And the moment I'd first possessed this body was twelve years ago—the same point where the original story began. In other words, this was exactly when the main plot was supposed to kick off in earnest.
I should've realized when I read that letter.
When the Emperor mentioned his sons falling for one woman, that had been a clear hint. But like an idiot, I'd completely missed it.
It's still okay. I don't have to get involved.
It was already late, but there was still a chance. After all, I hadn't caught her eye yet. If I just stayed hidden like this, everything would be—
“Excuse me?”
Ah.
When I subtly turned my gaze away, I found those bright, sparkling eyes looking straight at me. I couldn't help but let out a dry laugh. She'd been over there just a second ago—when the hell did she get here? She really was the protagonist of this world. She didn't seem like an ordinary noble lady at all.
But why is she approaching me of all people?
I'd heard the princes were obsessed with her. Shouldn't she be spending time with them at an imperial banquet like this? So why was she alone, and why was she suddenly showing interest in me? Or was I overthinking it? Maybe she wasn't the heroine after all...
I considered the possibility, but quickly dismissed it.
No.
No matter how I looked at her, this young lady was definitely the protagonist of the romance novel. Her behavior was completely different from that of ordinary noblewomen. I kept my expression neutral and responded to her call.
“What is it?”
“I saw you standing here alone and got curious about who you might be. If it's not too rude, may I ask who you are?”
The woman tilted her head with an innocent expression. It seemed she genuinely didn't know who I was.
Hmm... I suppose that's understandable?
I was called the Empire's first Archmage, but I rarely went out. I'd spent nearly my entire life devoted to magic. I hadn't exactly hidden my identity, but since I stayed cooped up in the Magic Tower, very few people actually knew my face. The only ones who did were...
The mages of the Tower, the Deputy Tower Master, the Emperor, the Prime Minister, the guards at the palace entrance... and maybe a few nobles?
I'd never encountered the Emperor's children. Even though I'd visited the palace a few times over the past ten years including today, the imperial palace was enormous. Since I only came to see the Emperor and left immediately after my business was done, our paths had never crossed. That was why almost no one at this banquet would recognize me.
So I'd been keeping a low profile, but—
This tactless woman just had to ruin it.
As expected of the romance novel heroine. Her head was probably filled with flowers, leaving no room for any actual awareness. I couldn't understand what the Emperor's sons saw in someone like her. At best, she was pretty. But honestly, this world was overflowing with beautiful women. Even among the mages working with me, there were plenty of stunning men and women. If I had to pick the most beautiful, it would obviously be Riel, who stayed by my side.
In a world full of such attractive people, was her looks alone really enough to make princes line up for her? I had my doubts. But then again...
Well, she is the protagonist.
It was hard to accept, but thinking She's the main character, so of course it's possible made further analysis unnecessary. Why? Because she was the protagonist. Stealing the princes' hearts would be child's play for her. Still, having already monopolized their attention, the fact that she was now showing interest in me wasn't exactly welcome.
“I simply conduct basic magical research at the Magic Tower.”
“Wow! So you're a mage?! That's amazing! This is my first time meeting a mage from the Tower.”
“Ah, yes.”
I wished she would just lose interest and leave, but she kept pestering me with questions out of curiosity. I gave vague answers and tried to dodge them, but she wouldn't back off. Finally, I suppressed the sigh threatening to escape and spoke as politely as I could.
“I'm sorry, but could you please leave me alone? I don't particularly enjoy conversing with others.”
I thought I'd been as courteous as possible, but—
“Ah... I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bother you...”
For some reason, tears began welling up in the woman's eyes. Just like that, completely out of nowhere. My head started throbbing, and all I could do was laugh bitterly.
Ah, this shitty romance novel. This shitty protagonist.
It would've been so much better if this world was a possession story. Instead, it was a standard romance fantasy, which meant the heroine had every cliché trait in the book.
“I hope you enjoy the rest of the banquet.”
I was trying to quickly slip away when—
“Ermel!”
At the most perfectly timed moment, a golden-haired man appeared and rushed to the crying woman. I couldn't help but chuckle at the scene.
What is this artificial timing?
It looked like a coincidence, but anyone could tell the moment was staged. The golden-haired man turned to look at me. His face was already twisted in anger, making it easy to predict what he'd say next.
“What family are you from? I've never seen your face before. Did your family teach you no manners at all, that you would make a lady cry?”
Wow... starting with the personal attacks already. At this point, I didn't even feel anything.
Is he a prince?
The Emperor had said his sons were obsessed with one woman, so the chances were high. I can see where the Emperor's coming from now. If my own child was acting like this over a girl, I'd want that magic too. Before seeing it myself, I'd wondered how bad it could be... but yeah. It was exactly that bad.
“Th-that... this person said he was a m-mage from the Magic Tower...”
“Ha?!”
Contempt filled the prince's eyes. The look that said, How dare a mere mage who isn't even a noble show up here? But what struck me as even more ridiculous was the woman hiding behind him and tattling. I couldn't tell when this childish, cringeworthy situation would end.
Hmm... I'm actually getting a little angry now.
I shouldn't have accepted the Emperor's invitation. And while we're at it, why wasn't the Emperor himself here?
This bastard... don't tell me...
I suddenly remembered the smile the Emperor had worn before I came here. I'd suspected he was up to something, but... surely not? No way. No matter what, they're still his children.
But the possibility wouldn't leave my mind. Whether he knew what I was thinking or not, the prince continued hurling insults.
“This is why you can't let lowly creatures in. How did a mere mage from the Magic Tower who isn't even a noble get into an imperial banquet?”
By now, the eyes of the surrounding crowd had gathered, and all attention was focused on us. I let the prince's words go in one ear and out the other. They didn't really affect me. I just hoped he'd tire himself out and leave on his own, but—
“I asked who invited you.”
The prince clearly had no intention of backing down. So I answered his question with sincerity.
“The Emperor invited me.”
“What?”
“The Emperor invited me,” I said, tilting my head with a blank expression. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“You lowly bastard!”
The prince's face contorted as he drew his sword. I hadn't expected him to go this far at an imperial banquet. Did he think that since I was just a mage, he could act like this without consequences? Even if that were true, he wouldn't escape the Emperor's wrath.
This is exactly why you shouldn't lose your mind over a woman.
I'd just learned a valuable lesson.
“Are you really planning to swing that? Think you can handle the consequences?”
“Ha. You're the one who'll have to handle the consequences. Did you really think you'd get away with lying about receiving His Majesty's invitation?”
“You know, my personality isn't that great. And that applies no matter who it's directed at.”
I flicked my finger. In an instant, the prince's body slammed into the floor. The prince who'd kissed the ground let out a groan. Shock spread through the onlookers' eyes, and the woman's face filled with panic. And then came the intense killing intent that felt almost natural. Dozens of figures had appeared, surrounding me. The Imperial Royal Guard. They were the ones who protected the imperial bloodline. The Emperor had his own guards too, but they were few in number. In short, these were different from the ones who stayed by the Emperor's side. If they knew who I was, they wouldn't be radiating killing intent so boldly.
“A mage who struck a prince at an imperial banquet... This will make for quite the story.”
I casually brushed off their killing intent and muttered. One of them spoke up.
“If you surrender, we'll spare your life.”
I replied to what appeared to be the captain of the guard.
“And if I don't?”
“You die.”
“Hmm... I see.”
I let out a small laugh, then gave the royal guards a mocking smile.
“Then try it.”
The moment the words left my mouth, the guards charged toward me.