The Agony of a Love Story
The moment I gave up, my vision twisted violently. I could feel something artificially warping my senses, but I didn't resist. I'd realized instantly that this was the exact intention of the Empress who'd written the note. The result of simply accepting the phenomenon as it was? When my distorted sight finally snapped back to normal, I was already standing in the cool shade beneath a tree.
I looked down at my hand. The note I'd been trying to read was gripped tightly in it. The notebook opened by itself, pages rustling as they turned on their own.
To the One Seeking Love
If you're reading this, Leon, it means you really did try to find love, doesn't it? I bet you're incredibly confused right now! You're probably wondering what this situation even is and how I could have predicted it would happen. I imagine you're panicking quite a bit. Am I right? Yeah?
Unfortunately, no. The second I stepped into this place, I immediately understood how the space was constructed and exactly what it was meant for.
But.
"Let's just go with that."
As if it had heard me, the notebook flipped another page.
This is a world I kept inside my heart. It's truly beautiful, isn't it? So peaceful. I wanted to show it to him, but I begged him never to open it. I was afraid he wouldn't be able to forget me and would suffer too much. Even though I know he isn't the type to listen to such warnings anyway!
He might not have opened it, but you will, Leon. Why? Because you're a crazy mage who only knows magic! A magic fanatic! A magic lunatic! A complete madman obsessed with magic!
"...The fuck?"
Ah, of course you'd curse if I said that. But you shouldn't curse! It's a bad thing to do!
Damn it. Was what she just said not cursing? I let out a deep sigh as my head already started to throb. Just like before, I could see exactly why the Empress had married the Emperor. The two of them had such perfect chemistry when it came to messing with me that there were plenty of times I wanted to smack them both. To think I'd live to hear this kind of nonsense from a dead person. They say you grow to resemble the one you love. Even in death, she was more like the Emperor than anyone.
Ahem. That's enough small talk. The reason I wrote things like a diary in this notebook was in case you might look for love someday, Leon. After all, you're always alone, aren't you? So I prepared this for you, for the day you might want to understand love. What do you think? Did I do well?
Even though they were just letters on a page, I could hear the Empress's voice automatically playing in my head.
Hehe. It's one of my abilities, so feel free to be impressed. Even the future Archmage Leon couldn't do something like this. Watch and learn!
If she were still alive, I'd have shot back that becoming an Archmage meant I could easily do this much and that her little trick was actually pretty lame. But the notebook was nothing more than a record of her past self. No matter how much I talked back, the notebook wasn't going to get angry.
Anyway! While this is for you, Leon, I also wrote these stories because I wanted someone to see them. I hope you'll enjoy them too. Even though you're a magic-obsessed fool who doesn't know the first thing about love... you can at least manage that much, right?
"Like hell I can."
I grumbled back, but I still intended to try. After all, I'd come here to 'understand' the emotion called love and complete my magic. So I would do my best to understand it.
What the Empress had prepared was an entire world. Or more accurately, a world of dreams. If the Second Princess had previously invaded the Second Prince's dream and treated it like her own domain, the world the Empress created took that ability several steps further by artificially crafting an entire world from her own dreams.
The Second Princess's ability must have been influenced by the Empress.
It was questionable how a woman who didn't even carry the imperial bloodline possessed such power, but there wasn't really anything strange about it if I thought about it. In this vast world, people with special abilities weren't limited to just the imperial family. The Empress's unique ability was simply a coincidence, and the Second Princess had likely gained her own dream-manipulating power through its influence. Though the way they each used that power was polar opposite.
While the Empress had created a world containing someone's story, the Princess had used that same ability to break the rules and try to harm her own brother.
When you think about it, it's quite tragic.
The Empress and Emperor were both so close to the side of good, yet their child had turned out like that. The thought filled me with pity, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scene unfolding before me.
So this is what it looks like.
This note was the Empress's diary—a byproduct made of text. Yet through her ability, those very words had been visualized within the dream world, allowing me to witness them directly. And so the impression of watching complete strangers spend time together and whisper words of love right in front of me was...
Not great.
This is pissing me off.
When I'd first entered this place and seen her writing, I'd thought I'd make an effort to understand it. But this... this was just too much. Instead of deep immersion, I felt goosebumps rising and my face twisting into a frown. Having to watch someone else's romance from start to finish at point-blank range made my entire body physically reject it.
The absolute worst part was watching the Emperor and Empress's courtship.
Oh, my eyes.
The raw affection, the sickeningly sweet tone, and the pet names made me squeeze my eyes shut.
Fuck... This is torture. Actual torture.
No matter how I looked at it, this was no different from torture. Did the Empress seriously think I could gain some realization from watching this? Really? She even wanted to show this story to someone? From my perspective, anyone watching this would want to run away screaming.
In the end, I couldn't take it anymore and escaped the dream world. As my consciousness returned to reality, the Emperor, who had been waiting beside me, asked.
"Did you understand even a little?"
To that question, I answered firmly.
"I think I'll probably never understand it in my lifetime."
The Empress had thought that watching those scenes would let me immerse myself deeply and realize the emotion, but what could I do? I was a human whose way of thinking was extremely twisted compared to hers. My review of the scenes I witnessed was as follows: I never wanted to see that again. Fuck...
After returning to the Magic Tower from the imperial palace, where I'd been forced to witness scenes that made my eyes want to close forever, I realized this wasn't something I could ask anyone for help with. No, the very idea of trying to borrow someone else's help had been the act of an amateur from the start.
After all, to create magic, one must realize it for themselves.
The sin of trying to borrow another's realization to create magic—I had paid for it dearly. I felt bad for the Empress, but I probably wouldn't go back there again. Ever.
So did that mean I had to give up on completing the magic?
Normally this would lead to deep contemplation, but this time the answer came surprisingly fast.
Yeah... I guess it can't be helped.
I decided to just abandon this magic. There were plenty of other spells in the world anyway. Normally I'd try to find a way, but this one I simply couldn't. My title as Archmage was starting to sound ridiculous, and the bold words I'd said to the Emperor before kept floating up in my mind, but...
Who cares?
People are inherently sly creatures who can flip their own words and shamelessly act thick-faced whenever they want. There was no rule saying an Archmage couldn't do the same. So today, I decided to be as shameless as possible.
Still, it's not like I don't have any justification.
I could rationalize it to some degree. If someone else had been in my place, I was sure they'd completely agree with me. Logically speaking, if someone could watch their friend using a cutesy voice to call their lover by the special pet names they'd chosen for each other while being all touchy-feely and still gain some kind of realization from it, that person would simply be insane. Even more obsessed with magic than I, the Archmage. If such a person actually appeared, I'd be willing to hand over my Archmage position to them.
Therefore, I decided to cleanly abandon this magic. It had turned out different from the magic the Emperor had requested, but since he said it didn't really matter, there was no need to worry. Rather, it might even have a good effect if the other princes could come to their senses like the Second Prince had. That wouldn't be so bad.
And so, as another incident came to a close for the day—
"Riel! Bring me every single research document you're currently working on!"
To erase the scenes I never should have seen from my mind, I continued the magic research I was doing with Riel. It had truly been a difficult day.