Fluttering Hearts and Drawn Lines
Shin Jiyu had heard from a young age that she was pretty, and she'd received quite a few confessions from boys her age as well. However, there had never been a single time when she was the one to like someone first or feel her heart stir for anyone. As a result, she had naturally remained a complete novice in relationships until the age of twenty-three. After becoming a hunter, her priority had been filling her record to establish a guild, so she had never even considered forming a special relationship with anyone in the future.
‘But what was that fluttering feeling just now..!’
A wave of confusion washed over her. Her heart, which had no idea why it was racing, refused to settle down. She bit her lip hard at her heart that was pounding wildly without any dignity.
‘They say a person falls for someone in just three seconds...’
Jiyu, who had been blankly following that train of thought, suddenly snapped back to reality with a gasp.
“Aack! What on earth am I thinking!”
Looking back, from the first time she met Junho, her heart had been filled with positive feelings toward him. It was only natural since he was the benefactor she had been searching for, but the fact that this favor was gradually changing into something different was incredibly confusing for Jiyu.
“No, no. This isn't proper.”
It wasn't that she was against office romances, but she was the raid party leader. From Junho's perspective as an employee, if the leader expressed her feelings, it would obviously create an uncomfortable situation. That much was clear.
“No! First of all, I don't like Mr. Junho!”
Jiyu, who had unconsciously shouted at the top of her lungs, suddenly remembered that the party members and Junho were right outside. She quickly glanced out the window. Fortunately, it seemed no one had heard her. Everyone's attention was focused intently on the TV.
“I must really be crazy. Jiyu, get a grip on yourself.”
Pat pat! Jiyu lightly tapped her cheeks and slowly began to organize her thoughts again. Her feelings for Junho were simply admiration.
‘Yes, it's my first time meeting someone who matches my ideal so closely, so I'm mistaking it for something else.’
A person who was truly perfect for the role of guild master.
“Yeah, yeah. That's it. I can't keep misunderstanding this.”
If she continued to misunderstand, it would definitely make things uncomfortable between them.
“If it gets uncomfortable, Mr. Junho might not be able to stand it and leave...”
If Junho left, there would be no one to lead the miner team she had worked so hard to recruit.
“Then the miner team would fall apart, nothing would go right, and the party members would all leave too...! The party would be ruined...!”
It was an extreme thought, but by the time her imagination reached that point, Jiyu's face had already turned deathly pale.
“If everything falls apart like that, I'll become a wanderer roaming the streets...!”
Once her imagination took flight, it continued all the way to her becoming a beggar asking for money on the street.
“Ugh, I'm crazy! I really am crazy! This can't happen..! Hahaha! No, that won't happen!”
Having barely concluded that she didn't like Mr. Junho, Jiyu began to force out exaggerated laughter.
“Hahaha! Right! That's right! What a ridiculous thought I was ha—”
“Captain, this is Team Leader Han Junho. May I come in?”
Just as she was laughing and blaming herself for her wild thoughts, Junho's voice suddenly reached her ears.
“Yeees...!”
Before she could finish speaking, a sound burst out of her mouth. Along with that outburst, her uncontrolled aura shot forward, and the flimsy door creaked and crumpled with a groan.
“Is something wrong?”
A sudden scream from the captain, followed by a suddenly crumpled door. The startled Junho forced the door open, and what he saw was...
“U-uh... S-sorry..! No, are you okay? Are you hurt?! I was thinking about something else and got startled..!”
It was Jiyu, her face pale with fear that she might have hurt Junho.
“I-I'm not usually someone who can't control my strength like this...!”
The flustered Jiyu stood in front of Junho, fidgeting helplessly, not knowing what to do with her hands or feet.
“I'm not hurt anywhere, I'm perfectly fine, so please calm down, Captain.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
It seemed she had been truly scared, as her color only gradually returned after Junho assured her he wasn't hurt. Seeing her like this, Junho felt a pang of sympathy and offered a very gentle smile.
“Yes, don't worry. See? I'm completely fine, aren't I?”
His way of handling the world was very skillful, kind, and warm.
“I've also been so absorbed in work that I got startled when someone suddenly knocked, so I understand completely.”
Of course, Junho was not a combat hunter and his rank was low, so he had never released his aura powerfully enough to crumple a door. But since he had seen the angry Yu Hyejeong do it often, it wasn't a new sight. Moreover, unlike Hyejeong who would use her aura to oppress people and cause harm, Jiyu hadn't done it on purpose and was even apologizing for startling him. While this was a normal reaction, for Junho who had spent three years with Hyejeong, it felt incredibly strange.
“Still, I startled you. I'm really sorry.”
“If you're that sorry, how about buying me something delicious later?”
He smiled and threw out the words playfully to the woman who kept apologizing. Of course, there was no sincerity behind it. It was just meaningless words meant to ease the guilt of Jiyu, who kept apologizing.
“I will. Yes, I'll buy you something really delicious!”
Starting with Junho's words, a fire was completely lit in Jiyu's heart.
“Ah, then we can all have a dinner together with the party members next time.”
“I could buy it just for you, Mr. Junho.”
“That's fine. I can't receive special treatment alone.”
Having noticed the sincerity in her answer, Junho quickly drew the line, but the fire that had already been lit only burned brighter. Even in contrast to his kind appearance just before, it was the beginning of a helpless love where she thought, ‘Even the way he draws the line is cool!’
“Then I'll come back later after you've rested and calmed down a bit.”
All the miner team members had arrived for work. He'd only meant to have them greet the captain, but it seemed he'd flustered her quite a bit. He had been a little surprised when the door crumpled, but since it wasn't his first time seeing it, he wasn't startled enough to be unable to respond. It was fortunate that he'd experienced all sorts of things.
“Uh, ah! No! It's okay! Don't go!”
The moment he tried to step away to give her time to calm down, a very urgent cry reached his ears.
“Yes?”
“Eh?”
I wasn't sure if she was conscious of her feelings, but I could feel rather obvious, awkward emotions coming from her. I hoped it was just my misunderstanding. I hoped it wasn't what I was thinking. I wished it was just my over-sensitivity causing unnecessary worry.
“..Then is it okay if I bring the miner team members in for introductions right away? We need to sign the contracts too.”
Even though I hoped it wasn't, I kept drawing the line just in case. I erased the smile I was wearing and spoke in a voice that might even feel a bit cold, stating the original reason I'd come to see her in a stiff manner.
“Ah! So all the team members are here!”
Even though I was drawing the line as much as possible, her not being flustered at all made me the one feeling flustered instead.
“Ah, that's right..! But I couldn't print the contracts! Would you come with me to print them..”
Since there was no paper visible, it seemed true that she hadn't printed them.. But the fact that she was asking to go together when she could go alone made me feel like I could see her feelings.
This is a bit troublesome. Did I not draw the line properly?
“I don't see why the two of us need to go together just to print one thing.. but anyway, it's fine. I prepared some separately just in case.”
Thinking that, this time I spoke with the clear intention of drawing the line properly. A businesslike attitude. An indifferent tone, without even making eye contact with her.
But at this point.. wouldn't I look not like I'm drawing a line but just plain rude..
“As expected of Mr. Junho! So thorough in preparation! You're cool! Amazing!”
...Hmm, is this a failure too?
“Then please tell everyone to come in quickly!”
Why isn't it working? I'm trying so hard to draw the line.
“...Yes, understood.”
How should I put it, this keeps making me feel like I'm the one being stopped.
“Everyone, come in quickly! I'm the raid captain, Shin Jiyu!”
She's acting like she doesn't care whether I draw the line or not, so I don't know what to do. Instead, my heart becomes extremely confused and noisy.
“““Hello!”””
I hadn't known her for long, but I had no intention of denying that she was a good person. Look at her now. The way she acts completely unfazed even though anyone could see I was drawing a line.
“You must be tired from coming here. Would you like a cup of tea or something?”
A bright and lovable personality that would make anyone fall in love. But that was as a person; it didn't mean I saw her as a romantic interest.
“Mr. Junho, would you like coffee?”
I liked everything about this party. Except for two things. The awkward gazes full of emotion that she sent me, and Kim Pilseok. Other than those two, it was a place I wanted to stay with for a long time.
So.
“Yes, Captain.”
So please. Don't cross the line anymore.
“Ah, that's right. Mr. Junho, you can speak comfortably too! Since you speak comfortably with everyone else—”
“No, that won't do. You're the captain.”
I deliberately cut her off, smiled in a businesslike way again, and emphasized the word 'captain'. No matter how you express it, you and I are not more than that. As if hammering in that we can't become more than that.
“Hmm, I see. Let's put that talk aside for now. Please wait a moment!”
It seemed she was going to prepare the coffee and tea herself again, as I saw her leave the room heading to the break room.
“Whew, I was nervous, but the captain seems like a really good person.”
“I think the team leader is also a really good person!”
“Ah, that's right! He's handsome and gentle.”
“Haha, handsome? That's the first time I've heard that.”
On the surface, I chatted amiably with the team members, but my heart wouldn't calm down at all.
“Here, everyone have a drink while we slowly fill out the contracts!”
Could I meet and love someone again? It was a question I'd asked myself countless times on the day I first left the guild. I'd pondered it countless times. Agonized over it. And the conclusion I'd reached at the last moment was that it was impossible. I didn't want to get hurt by someone again. So if anyone approached more than that, I had no choice but to draw the line.
“Thank you!”
“I'll enjoy it!”
“Tea prepared by the captain herself! Thank you!”
“It's nothing!”
That's how human emotions are. If you don't give them room to deepen, they quickly cool and disappear. So if I keep drawing the line like this, her feelings will eventually cool and vanish too. Just a little longer until then. If I pay a little more attention and keep my distance, that should do it.
“Once you're all done, let's move to the conference room.”
To organize my noisy heart, I just needed to stop looking at the person making it noisy. I downed the coffee in front of me in one go and moved the team members to the conference room. The moment the last person left and I also stepped out.
“Mr. Junho! Can I call you Oppa?”
A tone and gesture dripping with cuteness. A lovable personality that flowed naturally, not forced or artificial. I suddenly thought that this person, who could be loved by anyone wherever she went, shouldn't get hurt because of me.
“...I'm sorry, but that seems difficult.”
So. I can't accept those feelings. I need to draw the line more properly.
“Aw, it didn't work. Hehe. Oh well! Then I'll ask again after more time passes and we get more comfortable!”
Without answering, I quietly left the captain's office. As I forced the crumpled door that wouldn't close properly shut with strength, I suddenly thought that this crumpled door was just like my heart.