The Defective Secondhand Girlfriend
The delivery guy was decked out in a black leather jacket and spandex pants that clung to him like a second skin. He was short for a dude, but his voice was gravelly enough to confirm it. "Lee Kangho, right? Here to pick up Lee Kangho's corpse!"
"Where's my girlfriend?"
My dumbass dad had used his real name as his username on the secondhand marketplace site. So the rider thought he was some grim reaper sent to collect the ghost's body after seeing the post. Wait, don't reapers collect souls? Whatever. I needed my girlfriend pronto.
When I asked, eager to lose my V-card, he slung the massive bag off his back and kicked it toward me. "Open it up."
Ziiiiip. I unzipped the bag, and there she was—the bitch from the photos—stuffed inside buck naked. Those huge milkers made my dick twitch just looking at them. I tried to peek at her pussy, but the bush was too thick to see shit.
"Puha! Heok! Heok! I almost fucking died!"
Before I could even admire her body, the thug bitch cracked her eyes open, sat up, and gasped for air. Just that simple motion made her tits jiggle, and it was glorious. Big breasts created a tremor that shook me to my core. The thrill of tits making my heart race? Fucking perfection.
"You fucking asshole! How do you shove a person in a bag and drive like a maniac?!"
"Whoa, the delivery merch is talking?"
"I'm a person!"
"Whatever. Lee Kangho. Pay for the goods first."
The rider stuck his hand out at me, demanding cash upfront. So I did the same.
"You pay first."
"Huh?"
"You gotta pay for my dad's meat before I pay you. You first."
The doc-slash-professor uncle said he'd sent cash through the rider. Secondhand deals were full of scams, so they preferred cold hard cash on delivery.
"Ah... Normally, we settle completed deliveries first. I picked up your used girlfriend and brought her here—that's done. Collecting Lee Kangho's body comes next, so you pay for the girlfriend first, then I pay you for the body. That's the order."
"What? Too wordy. Your explanations drag on forever."
"So, we exchange cash in completion order—that's the Black Joongo rule... Fuck it, lemme confirm the body first and pay you. It's inside, right?"
"Yeah. Wanna see?"
"I'll look myself. Meanwhile, check your merch."
"Check the merch?"
"That."
He hoisted the bag with the thug bitch back onto his shoulder and pointed at her with a finger. She glared at us like we were trash. Still had that fiery temper—made me look forward to this. Once the deal closed, she'd play cute, cook for me, go on dates. For our first date, it'd be hot if she hand-packed a lunch for me.
"Check for defects. Under five uses with the seller? Is the fuckability top-tier? Gotta inspect that shit. Secondhand means no refunds or exchanges once bought. Especially instant buys—only allowed if there's no rule violation."
"What's the rule violation for instant buys?"
"What you're doing now. Defects on delivery. That's not allowed otherwise."
Talkative guy, but kinda helpful minus the yapping. Or maybe the yapping was the helpful part, explaining everything. Might as well ask more.
"Uncle, so to confirm a used girlfriend, you gotta... fuck her, right?"
"...Yeah?"
Holy shit, they actually do it! But hey, I'm a virgin.
"You ever fucked, uncle?"
"...Think what you want."
"Look at you, all chill. You've done it. Experienced dude! So, during sex, do you start with kissing? Undress her first?"
"Ha... "
The rider uncle scratched his helmet.
"Ask your girlfriend that. You virgin punk."
"That obvious?"
This world treats guys like jokes if they're virgins. All dad's fault. I had a chance to lose it once, but the girl made it obvious she was forcing herself, so I passed. For the record, she died after that. Should've fucked her if she was gonna go anyway.
Rider uncle grabbed the bag and vanished into dad's room.
"What the fuck? Your name's Lee Kangho? Not Kwangwoon?"
"Nah, Lee Kwangwoon. You're Hye-yeon, right? Ahn Hye-yeon."
I grinned wide, and Ahn Hye-yeon scoffed.
"Dumbass virgin talking like I'm your girlfriend just 'cause you trusted the secondhand site."
Not my girlfriend yet? Oh, right—still in inspection phase. No cash paid, and she was playing hard to get. Made sense. Time to inspect the goods like dad always taught.
"Virgin punk acting all high and mighty 'cause some high school girl talked to you. You couldn't even fight, got beat by my boyfriend..."
Slap!
Inspections require silence. So I backhanded the thug bitch to shut her up.
"You crazy fuck! Lost your mind?! Hitting me?! You hit me?!"
Slap! Backhanded her to shut her up.
"Hey! If my boyfriend finds out—!"
Slap! Backhanded her to shut her up.
"You bitch...! Hit me, you fuck! Hit me more! More—!"
Slap! Slap! Slap! Slap! Sl...
"S-sorry... S-sorry... Stop... Stop..."
Backhanded her to shut her up.
"Lemme see."
Next, verify it matches the listing exactly. Start with the easy stuff. No hesitation—I yanked her pants and panties down. My dick caught on the fabric and thwacked out.
Slap!
"Agh! Aaaaaaah...!"
"Uh... sorry."
My springing cock had slapped her cheek again. Her mouth twisted ugly like she might cry, so I raised my hand to preempt the noise.
"Hik!"
She clamped her own fist over her mouth. I gently moved it aside—'cause that's where my dick needed to go.
"Urk...! Gulk! Guuuh...!"
"Fuck, not going in easy. Open wider."
I pressed against her already-swelling lips, but they wouldn't part. Forced it, and the corner of her mouth tore. A tiny spurt of blood. Gross. But inspection complete. Seller said no blowjobs—true, she sucked ass. Not worm-level bad, but shitty. Ads have some exaggeration, so within limits.
Next: fuckability, wear and tear. The moment I'd been waiting for. Floor was filthy, couldn't lay her down, so I stood her up and bent her against the wall. Her waist dipped, ass cheeks spread, and there was the hole. So that's a pussy. First time seeing one. Not like abalone or clam— just a wrinkled hole. Still, the thrill of a woman's secret spot had me ready to blow.
"Hoo-!"
Finally losing my virginity. Gripped my upward-thrusting cock, aimed down at the hole. Tip brushed the wrinkles, and she freaked, yelling at me to stop.
"Nooo... Don't..."
She jammed a hand between her legs and started rubbing frantically.
"Nngh... Nn... "
Moaning to herself, hand blurring in and out of view, then wet chap-chap sounds as flesh slapped. Desperate—back hunched, bow-legged, pathetic yet admirable. Wonder if dad felt this watching my workouts. Dick started wilting, so I glared at her pussy hole to perk it back up.
"O-okay, ready. Now insert."
"Cool."
Dunno why she did that leg-rubbing bullshit if I could just shove in. But she's experienced, unlike virgin me—probably prep. All set. Deep breath, cock to hole, thrust.
"Fuck... Not there... Aaaagh—! Agh! Kk...!"
Seller said great fuckability, but insertion was a bitch. Tip barely in, flesh pushing back. Aimed wrong? Grabbed hips and slammed. Didn't plunge like in movies—went in bit by bit.
"Eok... Ha... Haak...!"
"Woooow...!"
Pussy felt tight and chewy. Squeezed from all sides, like it'd snap my shaft at the root. This is pussy! Woman's pussy...!
"You fucking moron, that's my ASSHOOOOLE!"
She drooled and screamed something, but I couldn't make it out. Too busy savoring the sacred hole. How to proceed? Movies had guys thrusting hips back and forth. Pulled back, slammed in. Thought it'd be tough after the struggle, but once paved, slickness helped it glide.
Her ass cheeks clapped against my pelvis—smack-smack. Like applause, but flesh-on-flesh? Dick swelled harder.
"Why bigger?! Pull out!"
She clenched so hard she could barely moan—just wheezy gasps. Perfect time. Ask questions when they're dazed for honest answers. Dad's lesson. My first fuck felt too good to think straight, but duty calls.
"Hey... Huff huff... You and your boyfriend... Ooh... So tight... Fucked less than five times...?"
"Euk... Ukk... "
"No honest answer... I'll cum inside and knock you up?"
"Dumb... Fuck...!"
Even pregnancy threat got glares, so I slapped her ass.
Slap!
"Aaagh! Don't slap while it's INSIDE!"
Slap!
"Answer! Over five times or not?!"
Slap!
"Crazy... Tighter now?"
"Don't slap my ASS! It's gonna RIP!"
"ANSWER!"
Slap! Each slap clenched her tighter—too good, smacked a few more. She sobbed outright now, fucking through tears.
"How many?!"
"T-twenty... No, over twenty! Four times today! Please stop! My ass is tearing!!!
What? Four times today? Thunderbolt. If four today, way over five total. No doubt.
"Huuuh... "
Today was supposed to be cash in, lose V-card, get girlfriend. Perfect day. But the used girlfriend was a scam. No wonder I beat dad, made bank, good luck all around!
"Yes! Lee Kangho confirmed and collected. Here's your pay... What? Still going?"
Door opened—rider uncle emerged with the bag slung heavy on his back again.
"Hurry up. Got another delivery."
"...Return."
"Huh?"
I leaned to his ear, tears welling, and yelled.
"RETURN! RETURN! This bitch is defective! Overuse exceeded!"
Me, scammed?! I was the idiot blissed out on "great fuckability."
"Uncle, lead the way! I'm returning this shit!"
"What?!"
Still, it was killer sex for a bit. Fuck you, bitch!
Slap!
"Ahooooogh—!!!"
Rage-fueled ass slap flipped her eyes back as she screamed. And right then, I creampied her pussy.
Lost my virginity anyway, but tears wouldn't stop—I bawled like a baby.